Hi again. I'm still sorry I'm such a slow updater, but I also still maintain that his is the Wii's fault. It threw me off my pattern. Yep.

Naruto sighed as from his position in the tree. "Now which way to the damn village?" he muttered. "Bloody substitution…" A sudden scent cut the blond boy off. 'Hm?' He took a bigger sniff, searching for the strangely pleasant fragrance. Naruto hopped down from the tree to land on the forest floor in a four-legged crouch. The fox boy slowly made his way through the brush and foliage, face nearly planted to the ground.

'Careful, Kit. The villagers wouldn't think twice about sneaking up on you while you were preoccupied.'

'Pft. Who do you think you're talking too? I'm totally aware of my-OW!' Naruto collapsed on to his stomach as he smashed into the tree. 'Shut-up.' Naruto could feel the Kyuubi's laughter resonate within his mind. Naruto shook it off, punched the tree for good measure, and continued on along the ground. His nose twitched as the scent grew stronger. 'I swear I know this scent…'

"N-N-Naruto-k-kun?" Naruto's blond head poked out of the bush.

"Hinata-chan!" he shouted as he leapt into the air toward her, first landing on his hands before flipping to his feet. "Ta-da!" Naruto gave the Hyuuga heiress his best cheesy smile.

"H-hello, N-Naruto-kun," Hinata stuttered, her facing beginning to turn crimson.

"Yeah! Long time no see, Hinata-chan!" Naruto's eyes drifted downward subconsciously. "Eh? Why are you're clothes so dirty?" Hinata blushed even brighter.

"I-I w-w-was t-train-" Hinata's legs gave out then and there, and fell into Naruto's arms, completely unconscious. The fox boy just stood there for a little while in the clearing, nothing but the sound of Hinata's breathing permeated the silence.

"Well, this is most definitely not good," Naruto said as he felt a wave of killing intent wash over him. "In fact, this could even be classified as craptastic."

"What did you wish to speak to me about, Jiraiya-sama?" Himaru and Jiraiya stood on the balcony of the Hokage tower, both gazing out over the village.

"I assume Naruto spoke to you about the Akatsuki?" Himaru nodded.

"Yeah. I was wondering when they'd show up." Jiraiya's head practically came off as it swiveled to face Himaru directly.

"You knew about them?" Himaru nodded again, but smirked this time.

"You're not the only one with sources, Jiraiya-sama. Few things of darkness can escape my notice." The toad sage quirked an eyebrow but said nothing on the matter.

"So what do you know about them?" Himaru's brow furrowed in thought as he leaned on the railing.

"Well, there's about nine of them, not counting minor scouts and such, but you'd be surprised how influential they are."

"Oh?"

"Let me put it this way: The Akatsuki is to anybody who's anybody in the criminal world as becoming a kage is to Naruto. I've met men and women who would risk their lives to join that organization." Himaru chuckled. "Funny thing is, only a hand full even knew their mask purpose." Now Jiraiya was really getting interested. What circles did this man move in?

"And what would that be?"

"Money. They want to use the power of the Bijuu to become the world's only source of military might and basically monopolize war." Jiraiya just stared at him, mouth gaping and completely flabbergasted.

"That's insane!" Himaru's mouth grew into a grin.

"Exactly. That's why I know that isn't their real goal. I mean seriously, we're talking about nine of the world's greatest shinobi and they want to make war a business?" Himaru 'tsked'. "Anyone who believes people who enjoy war that much would want to eliminate the challenge is just stupid. Plus, it's not like they're hurting for money. You should see their digs-"

"Stop a moment." Jiraiya held his hand up. "You've seen their hideout?" Himaru brushed the hair out of his eyes before replying.

"Yeah, but they probably moved. I was invited to join but…" Now Jiraiya was on guard.

'Please don't be a spy…' the old man thought.

"…I think their leader is a yaoi fan boy." In response to this, Jiraiya performed the ancient art of the anime-style fall down.

"A what!?" Himaru nodded once again.

"All of the teams are made up of an effeminate guy and a macho man. Well, I guess Sasori is technically a giant puppet." Jiraiya was utterly slack-jawed. So many unpleasant questions swam through the pervert's unwilling mind, but only one was of any real importance.

"So you know their members?"

"Most of them. There's Deidara from Iwa, Sasori from Suna, Itachi from Konoha, Kisame from Kiri, Zetsu from like Kusa or something, can't remember, and Kakuzu and Hidan from somewhere." Jiraiya was torn from being shocked to being humiliated. He hadn't gathered nearly this much information! Suddenly his aged eyebrows shot up.

"Wait, that's only seven? Who are the other two?" A deep frown etched itself on Himaru's face.

"There's Leader, no one knows who he is, and then there's the psychopathic chic whose name I forcibly repressed. I think she joined when I refused." Himaru snapped his fingers. "You know, how about I just give you some scrolls I have on them? There in my pockets somewhere…" Poor Jiraiya had no idea of the wait he was in for.

Naruto still stood in the middle of the clearing, an unconscious Hyuuga slung over his shoulder and ten unknown shinobi surrounding him. The blond's nose twitched at the scent of snakes. "You guys don't happen to be Kaiki-sennin's ninja, do you?" The only response was one of the ten charging him with a kunai. But at this, Naruto grinned. "Oh, so you're only coming one at a time?" Without letting go of Hinata, the foxy boy grabbed his assailant by the wrist and twisted, earning a sickening crunch as the ninja fell to the ground.

"Die!" Another enemy shouted, and all ten foes jumped Naruto at once.

"Or maybe you're not." The fox boy jumped into the air with all of his strength, and grinned down at the confused mass of enemy shinobi. "Suck on this!" he shouted, forming his hands into a cross. "Kage Bunshin no Jutsu!" Dozens of Narutos poofed into existence, and instantly began forming hand seals of their own.

"Bakuyaku Tsuba no Jutsu!" A rain of chakra globs fell onto the unsuspecting shinobi, setting the whole clearing a blaze for just an instant. The clones vanished with their lost chakra and Naruto calmly fell back down to the charred earth. The horrid stench of burnt flesh filtered through his nose.

"Yuck," he said out loud. The blond looked around mournfully at what he had done. "Such is the life of a shinobi," he mumbled.

There wasn't a sound in the cool night air of Konohagakure, and all business had been concluded for the day. Well, except for two people. A certain white-haired old man was banging his head against the wall as a certain jounin continued to sift through his pockets. "That isn't it," he would mutter at some random scroll every moment or two. Over the past couple hours a mound of items had begun to obscure Himaru's form. What at first had been almost interesting had quickly become mind numbing.

"How much stuff can you possibly have!?" Jiraiya shouted suddenly, every last ounce of patience gone. Himaru never stopped pulling things out of his many pockets.

"I never throw anything away."

"Why the Hell n-" Jiraiya suddenly stopped, and slowly raised on hand to point at something green and fuzzy by Himaru's feet. "What is that? I-I think I saw it move."

"This?" Himaru bent down and picked up the mysterious pile. "This is Lunchimaru. I've been cultivating this guy since I was eight." The lump yipped, and, just as any sensible man would, Jiraiya screamed like a little girl.

"Relax, Jiraiya-sama, he isn't dangerous. Well, unless you're made of decomposable compounds, which I guess you sort of are, so…" Himaru puckered his lips in thought for a moment before shrugging. "Ah well. Here' the scroll. Back into the pocket now, Lunchimaru-chan." Jiraiya's shaking hand barely managed to catch the scroll. Without even checking the parchment, the legendary pervert disappeared in a puff of smoke. "Tch. Wuss." And Himaru so began the recollection of all his treasures.

"FOREHEAD GIRL!?" The only thought that ran through Sakura's mind the moment she heard Ino's telltale screech was predictably, 'Oh shit.' She severely doubted her former rival would take well to the fact that she was currently cuddled up next to the precious jewel know as Sasuke Uchiha.

"This is going to be too troublesome for words." Even Shikamaru was scared of this confrontation, definitely a bad sign.

"WHAT THE HECK DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING WITH MY SAS-" Ino's jaw went slack as Sasuke decided to take matters into his own hands. He pulled Sakura even closer into him, and locked lips with her, right in front of Ino and everyone else in the restaurant. Ino simply sputtered out meaningless dribble for a good ten seconds before fainting right into Shikamaru's arms. The lazy genius leveled his version of a glare at Sasuke.

"I hope you know that you've turned the rest of my week into a living Hell, Uchiha." Sasuke just smirked before turning back toward the counter.

"Not my problem, Nara." Something akin to a maniacal laugh escaped Shikamaru's throat.

"Oh, but it will be, Sasuke. It will be." With that, Shikamaru transferred Ino to the nearby Chouji, all the while muttering troublesome as the pair walked off.

"Thanks, Sasuke-kun." Sakura broke the brief silence. The Uchiha Avenger smirked and glanced back down at her.

"The kiss? I was going to do that anyway." Sakura turned as red as the cherries her namesake produces.

"Sasuke-kun…"

Look, I'm really sorry I take so long to update and my chapters are STILL small, but at least they're good quality, right? Anyway, I'm going to try and get back in the groove of updating once a week, but no promises, especially now that the school year is almost over and things are bound to get really hectic. But I'll definitely update more often come summer. I'll have nothing else to do!