I do not own Mass Effect or any of the associated contact. Jagher Shepard is my Shepard and Fayelle Shepard is my friend's Shepard. This is a collection of moments set throughout the games. They're rated for language and violence mostly.

Mass Effect 2: Moments.
A Moment Where It All Comes Back.

Jagher was in shock. Or, as close to it as she could get without actually going into clinical shock. She didn't remember anything beyond seeing him again, none of the fighting, the Collector's—anything. The only reason she knew any of that had happened was because she was as scuffed and scraped up as her armour was and there was that ringing in her ears that only came after a firefight. But she didn't remembering doing any of it.

All she remembered was Kaidan.

She had known he would be there, somewhere in the colony, and she had worried about him and about seeing him again, but somehow she had never got around to wondering what would happen when she actually did see him again, when she talked to him again.

She couldn't have prepared for what had happened anyway.

He had taken her in her arms when he had first seen her, and for a moment, a brief wonderful moment, Jagher had thought nothing would be amiss, that they could just pick up where they had left off. She had been near blissful in that moment with Kaidan again. But it had ended all too soon, about the time he'd remembered that she was working for Cerberus, an organization they had spent a good deal of time fighting before she'd died and an organization that, in his words, "stood for everything they fought against."

Kaidan had backed away from her then and she knew the next words out of his mouth would hurt. And they did.

But she couldn't let it show. Not while she was leading her team through the wreckage of Horizon, not while they were hunting the Collector's and trying to find the reason behind the attacks on human colonies. She couldn't be Jagher, not when she had to be the famous Commander Shepard, not when she had to be more than her human self. Her resolve had very nearly faltered under the realization that she may never be with Kaidan again, that he may hate her actions since she'd come back from the dead too much to love her the way he had. That had hadn't wanted to listen to her reasoning for working with Cerberus had hurt even more.

So it was that Jagher was sitting in her quarters back on the Normandy as the ship sped towards their next mission, trying to find the will to continue working for The Illusive Man; they had had a rather loud and volatile conversation, at least on Jagher's part, after she had returned from Horizon. She was at the end of her patience with the infuriating man and his glowing cybernetic blue eyes. Jagher didn't want to abandon the human colonies in the Terminus systems, nor did she want to leave her new crew, but how was she supposed to work for the man who had put her and Kaidan in that situation?

Jagher fell back onto her bed, her green eyes immediately going to the expanse of stars visible above her. They were traveling too fast to see the individual points of light. The stars were just streaks, but they were beautiful still.

She felt the ship slow beneath her; the faint whir of the nearly silent engines and the quiet groans of the various metals of the hull. They were settling into orbit around whatever planet it was. She couldn't even remember where she'd chosen to go for the next mission. There were so many people who needed their help, how was she to keep track of them all?

With a groan of her own, Jagher pushed herself off the bed and made for the elevator, knowing her presence would be required soon enough.

She did pause to wonder why it had been her all those year ago. Why had she been chosen? Why was it her life that had to be disrupted?

Jagher knew the answer of course, and she didn't really regret being chosen, not by a long shot, but sometimes it was just too much for one person to bear alone.

The elevator dropped down to the command centre and Jagher stepped out, hands balled into tight fists at her sides and the stoic look that was her command face plastered all over her features.

"We're ready for you Shepard," Garrus said, popping up from nowhere as he was wont to do sometimes. "Whenever you're ready."

Jagher inhaled deeply as she turned to face the turian. She nodded sharply once, and then followed her friend to the shuttle bay. Garrus placed his hand lightly on her shoulder as she passed him and Jagher stopped walking, afraid the emotions she was barely containing would break out in the face of friendship. She looked up into Garrus's black eyes and made herself smile.

Author's Note.

So, I went and back and forth a bit with this Moment. Originally, I was going to write a big screaming match, but that didn't work. Then I was going to write an introspective moment, kind of like what you see here. But the first attempt didn't work. So I went back to the screaming match, but that still wasn't working, so I settled with this Moment that you just finished reading.

Next Moment: A Moment Of Reparations.