I needed to get out of this house. Or I was going to go stir-crazy. Another three days had passed. That would bring the tally up to one whole week since the newborn battle. A week since my head cracked open. Six days since I'd last seen Paul. But who's counting, right? I'm not. Really.

Carlisle arranged to stop by to check on both Jake and I. I tried not to act to oddly around him, but I couldn't really get over Carlisle Cullen the vampire. It weirded me out to no end, but I didn't want him thinking I was crazy, or worse, scared.

The stitches in the back of my head were dissolving and apparently everything looked all right. Carlisle tested out my vision and my balance, making sure I didn't need to make a trip to Forks General for my concussion.

Jake was a longer ordeal. I spent most of his check out time trying to occupy myself. Since when had my little brother become my source of amusement? Since when was I bored without him? I seriously needed to get out of this house.

With that I determinedly grabbed our most recent Sunday paper and sprawled out the want ads on the kitchen island. I needed a job. Like yesterday. Regardless of vampire battles, regardless of my stupid imprint, regardless of the clusterfuck that was my personal life I needed a job. Or this cabin fever was going to turn me into a pod person. I didn't know what kind of job person with an advanced science degree specializing in Biochemistry could get Clallam county but I was about to find out.

There appeared to be a position in Quileute Natural Resources Office. I knew that they pretty much kept us all from dying. Literally and figuratively. They managed the fisheries within our borders along with the state, they worked with the state department of Fish and Wildlife on a lot of different levels. Balancing fishing for subsistence with keeping fish populations up, plus wilderness restoration and some new watershed planning. I figured if I wanted a job that had some relation to my fancy education and got me past the paper-filing, pencil-pushing, appointment-making doldrums of any real career, I might as well start with QNR.

No one made appointments there. I doubt they had but one secretary in that place. "Dad?" I hollered, trying to ascertain where he was. The fact that I couldn't see him watching TV was odd. I found him down the hall in the laundry room. "Dad, I'm going to head down to QNR." I showed him the ad in the paper. "They're looking for data collectors. I need a job."

"I'll say you do," he muttered taking the paper from my hand. "Data collection? Isn't that just a nice way to say you'll be counting the number of hatchery fish they breed all day?"

"I dunno," I shrugged, "probably. But it's something. You said it yourself – I need a job. And it makes more sense than working as bank teller or at the Thriftway. At least this is relevant to what I've learned these past four years."

"You know, Rach," Dad continued. "I love having you back home, but with your field, I didn't really expect you to come home forever. I know there aren't a lot of prospects for biochemistry in La Push."

I swallowed hard. I'd come home after graduation this winter to visit my family while I found a job. I really had never intended to stay. Then New Years happened. And my life turned upside down. Through the spin cycle, as it were. I didn't know how to reconcile the life I had planned, the life I had set up, with the life that had sprung from nowhere when I came home.

Yeah, I was mad at Paul. Mad as hell. But I still didn't see myself leaving the res. I couldn't. He was mine, we had this soul tie, that would never leave and as angry as I was, I wasn't about to leave him. Or threaten it. I know he would've followed me to Seattle to find a 'real' job and start a life, but… it wasn't where he belonged. The whole reason we had that soul tie, was because he was supposed to stay here. He was supposed to protect La Push. And as much as he'd imprinted on me, he also has an imprint to La Push. They all do. It's reason for being. Protecting the res.

That wasn't something I could take him from. No matter how mad I got at him.

I knew Dad was getting at something else. He knew that since Paul's imprint, I hadn't really known what to do with myself. Because he was right: I hadn't planned on staying in La Push. "Dad," I shrugged at him, "it's La Push. We're not a hotbed for organized crime or nightlife, but biology? Chemistry? We live in a national park. Not gonna be problem."

"If you're sure," he replied. I nodded and turned back towards the kitchen. "Be back for sunset. It's First Beach bonfire night. And I'm getting you and your brother out of here before you start climbing the walls."

"Sure, sure," I chuckled once. I grabbed the keys to the truck from the counter and headed outside. I turned the radio up nice and loud – all the better to ignore my own thoughts – and made my way towards QNR. It was a bit of a drive, because it was on the peninsula that stretched into the Pacific Ocean. The office was actually a newer building. Modern and still pretty low profile, it sat right on the water, not far from James Island.

I went inside and low and behold I met the token secretary. I knew her from around town. It was hard to avoid in this place. But maybe that would give me an edge up? Most of the people in this town liked me. I was Billy Black's kid. What else did you need? "Hi Mrs. Whitehorse," I smiled as I quietly shut the door behind me.

"Why, hello there, Rachel," she grinned up at me, tucking a graying strand of her long hair back into her pony tail. "How are you my dear? How's your dad? Your brother? I heard he took a tumble on one of those silly motorcycles? Deathtraps, my girl, I'm telling you don't ever get on one."

I smiled good naturedly. So that was the story? Jake had a motorcycle wipeout? I could believe it. "You know: boys will be boys. He's lucky; he'll be just fine. Dad is doing well, he says hi. He's been asking after Ralphie."

Ralphie was Angelina Whitehorse's pride and joy – her greyhound dog. My dad didn't actually care for it, but just humored her. She interpreted as a love for the critter. But I could make engaged big-kid talk when I wanted.

She regaled me with the latest Ralphie-tale, all the while seemingly feeling as if my family was as active and engaged as my polite banter made them seem. Maybe this is what being an adult was. Pretend. Because I'm pretty sure, currently into my twenties and having graduated college, I felt like Iacted like an adult. Not that I actually was one.

My pondering of these existential issues was interrupted by Mrs. Whitehorse's question. "So what can I do for you today, Rachel, dear?"

"Oh," I replied. "Well, I just notice an ad in the paper for position here at QNR. It wasn't bery specific, but I wanted to put in an application."

"Oh, of course!" she said as she spun in her office chair to the counter top behind her, rifling around a pile of paper. "Albert has been looking for a lab tech for weeks now. Mostly for the hatchery operations. Breeding and raising and whatnot. I don't understand the half of it but—aha! Here we are!"

She spun back around and handed over the two-page application. I decided to just fill it out there, it was so short. I finished in fifteen minutes and pulled a copy of my résumé out of my backpack.

"Excellent!" Mrs. Whitehorse chirped when I handed the papers back over to her. "Oh! And résumé too. Well aren't we a professional woman now?"

"Well, I just wanted to make sure my acquired skills are known," I smiled. "Don't want all that school to go to waste."

She smiled back insisting that she would give Albert the application when he returned from lunch. "I would expect," she leaned forward to whisper to me, "to hear from him in a few days. I think he'd really enjoy having you on staff."

I stood up straight. "Thank you for all your help, Mrs. Whitehorse. My best to Ralphie."

The pure adrenaline I got from the prospect of actually being gainfully and purposefully employed actually made my hands twitchy as I drove home. Before I made it back to the mainland, I pulled over on the side of the road. It was a nice day out and I wasn't ready to go back home yet.

I was sitting on a rock on the small beach head that formed along side the road when three conspicuously half-naked boys came out of the woods. One laughing and another pushing him. From this distance I couldn't tell who they were. I knew they were pack. I kept my eyes up front, watching the sea, pretending not to notice. Because that plan was fool proof. The suddenly halted steps gave me a clue as to at least one of the boy's identities. Paul was clearly not prepared or not ready to see me. The breeze carried their voices my way and I could catch snatches of their words.

"Dude, just go talk to her." That was definitely Quil. He was the only one I knew who said 'dude' with any kind of frequency.

"Don't count on it; he wouldn't even know what to do with himself." Jared: the ever optimistic diaper days best friend.

"Why don't you all stop talking about me over there and come join," I shouted for them hear. I glanced down the beach and saw the three of them just standing there. Paul was kind of hunched and not quite happy looking. Jared stood next to him with his arms crossed. I'm pretty sure he was laughing. I couldn't see Quil's face; his back was to me as he spoke animatedly with Paul.

I stood up and made my way slowly towards them. Wrapping my arms around myself to keep the cold out. I stopped about a dozen feet away. Jared made his way over while Quil continued to talk to Paul. "Hi, Rach," he sang.

"Hello Jared," I replied flatly. "What's going on?" I signaled over his shoulder.

"Oh nothing. Just trying to get Paul's bitch ass to talk to you and apologize for whatever the hell it was he did."

"Shut the fuck up!" Paul shouted over Quil's shoulder.

"If you don't mind," Jared half turned, "I'm having a conversation with the lady, since you can't bring yourself to do it." Paul growled in rebuttal as Jared turned back to me.

"He hasn't said anything to you guys yet? You haven't heard anything?" He caught my implication about the pack telepathy and shook his head.

"He must've done fucked up real good. Hasn't said or shown us a thing."

"Wow," I did find that remarkable. A lot of this stuff I couldn't keep off my mind; I don't know how Paul managed.

"Believe me, we've tried. But nada. You care to enlighten us, Rachel?"

I shook my head, "Not really."

"Is this personal?" Jared asked crossing his arms. His expression shifted, like he might've been trying a new train of thought with this.

"Well, yeah," I offered. "It is about our relationship. Duh?"

"No, I mean like personal." Jared amended. With emphasis. "Is he bad lay? You can just tell us, you know."

I didn't even have time to let my jaw drop before a thunderous boom echoed across the beach.

"WHAT?" the tenor of Paul's growl made my brain shake around inside my head like bass from metal concert.

"Whoa!" Quil was now physically holding him back – and struggling with the task – as Paul lunged at his best friend shaking from head to toe. I took an instinctual step back as my hand reached up to clap over my mouth. I was in outright shock. I had never seen Paul so purely angry before. Jared was just being a jerk – as per usual – but I had never seen him get such a rise out of Paul.

The guy I knew wasn't there. He wasn't in those flaring eyes, those bared teeth or the twitching jaw muscles. His face had shifted into something I'd never seen before. I'd seen My Paul, I'd seen Sam's Paul, stoic-Paul, mad Paul and sad Paul. I had never seen this Paul. The man I knew was gone, replaced by someone else. Someone bloodthirsty. It scared me. A lot.

"Hey!" Jared turned around fully this time as I took another step back, unable to control the knots in my stomach. "I'm just trying to find out if you can't keep your woman happy, all right? You won't tell us anything; I got nothing to go on here!"

And with that, Paul finally broke loose of Quil's grip, causing him to tumble forward into the sand. He took two steps before leaping and in a split half of a fucking second he wasn't human anymore. In mid-air he turned into raging, snarling feral animal as the his body expanded and silver fur flew out from his every pore – sending his clothes flying like balloon fragments around us. Jared all but popped into his own wolf, brown fur bristling, haunches raised, before Paul even hit the ground.

I took another step back as I screamed. I stumbled once, catching myself on the boulder I had backed into. Quill came running around the fray as I watched Jared and Paul tear and snarl and rip each other apart. "Come on," he insisted taking me by the arm. "Let's get you home."

I didn't protest. I let Quil lead me carefully back to my care before he all but put me in the passenger seat himself. The whole ride home I sat with my back against the door and my legs pulled up on the bench seat. The vibrations of the engine numbing me slowly. "Quil…" I asked in a quiet daze. "Yeah?" he asked as he drove with one hand.

I couldn't remember what I was going to say as I stared off, wide eyed into the nothingness. "They'll be all right, Rachel. It's nothing new. Paul's got a temper and Jared gets a high from stoking people's coals. Especially his."

I had never seen this before. I had heard about it. I had heard about it a lot. But I had never been party to an uncontrolled, rage-induced shift of Paul's. It was something he had never wanted me to see, and now I knew why. I was blinded by my own shock I couldn't even think straight. All I wanted to do was cry or run away or jump out of this damn car.

I was so scared and even Quil – who I've known since he was little kid – put me on edge. Paul had never scared me before. He worried me, concerned me. Sometimes he made me nervous or anxious, but I had never been afraid of him. I didn't know what to do with myself.

I hadn't realized the car had stopped until there was a tap on my window. I moved aside so Quil could open the door without me falling out. "Hey, Rach, come on?" He reached up and with the sleeve of his shirt wiped across my cheeks. I hadn't realized the silent tears I'd been crying. "You're all right? Do I need to tell Jake about this?"

"No," I stuttered out. "I'm fine. I'll be fine. Just shell-shocked is all." I leaned forward and gave him a quick hug. "Thanks for taking me home." He smiled, returned my keys and trotted off towards the trees as I made my way inside.

I dumped the keys on the counter, made for my room without being seen by Jake or Dad. "I'm getting in the shower," I announced before I grabbed a clean pair of jeans a new top and slammed the bathroom door. I turned the shower on, sat on the covered toilet and listened as the water against the metal tub drowned out my sobbing.