starstrukkxxx: Aww, thanks again! :D Well, I hope he says yes too, we shall see later how it goes xD I shall, thanks ^^
A/N: Well, wouldn't have guessed I'd get this chapter ready this fast xD but as it's ready, I'll just put it here ^^ feel free to comment!
Kurt kissing Finn. Kurt laying in a coffin.
Kurt laying in the hospital bed.
Kurt hugging and kissind Rachel. "I'm so sorry to say this but I hate you."
"It was too much to hear about your feelings." Kurt looking at me, being angrier than ever before.
Kurt in a car accident.
"I wish to see you never again." Kurt dying in my arms.
"Blaine, wake up! Wake up! It's OK, all is good. You're in your bed, it's night, nobody's dying. I'm here," I heard a voice really close to me. I threw my eyes wide open, just to realize that the room was pitch-black. I couldn't breathe, my nose was blocked, I obviously was crying. I was hallow inside, I was afraid and scared. So afraid that I could explode every second. All the images I had seen just a while ago were running around my head, crushing every side of it. Why did he leave me?
It took a good while to cool down a bit, Kurt held his arms around me with a firm grip. In a way he literally kept me in one piece, my parts needed this kind of glue right now. I used my shirt's hem as my napkin, I didn't want Kurt to get away from me, now I craved his presence, him just being close. I wanted the images to vanish from my mind but it was so difficult to try to tell them. It was like all the bad things were having a party in my head, laughing at me when I was asking them to go.
Kurt slowly stroke my hair, I laid my head on his chest, leaned on him.
"Is it better now?" Kurt asked quietly.
"Well, at least I feel like I'm able to breathe again," I answered.
"Do you remember what kind of nightmares you had? Seemed pretty harsh this time, you almost hit me, you shouted and rolled over," he explained.
"Oh, I don't remember," I told a little white lie. "Probably it was the same than before."
"The beat-up, once again?" Kurt asked.
"Maybe. I have no idea. But those have been the hardest, usually," I said. Apparently I hadn't been shouting his name, or done anything else too revealing.
After a while Kurt let go of me, I sat properly and let my feet meet the floor. It felt cold, smooth. I liked the feeling, it was relieving. I set my arms on my legs and leaned on my hands. This sure felt confusing, all those dreams about Kurt. Was I so afraid of losing Kurt? Well, I knew I was, but this was something more than I could've expected.
"What time it is?" I asked, I wasn't sure if I could fall asleep again. Kurt grabbed his mobile, I turned my head when the light of the screen went on. It was too strong for my eyes.
"23 past four. You think you're able to sleep a bit more?" Kurt asked.
"Yap, I'll just hit the toilet first. You can start sleeping, I'll survive now. As long as you're by my side," I said with a small smile. Kurt even saw my gesture, the light was still so bright.
"Always. Wake me up if you need to talk about it," he said and laid back.
"Sure. Sorry I woke you up," I said from the door.
"That's why I'm here," he answered before I went too far.
I washed my face and looked at myself from the mirror. I looked terrible, just dreadful. I maybe should've told Kurt the truth, let him know how I'd feel if he left me. But it would've been pressure, I wanted him to decide by himself. I knew I'd be quite close to dead if he wanted never to see me again, but there was no reason to believe he'd react that way. He wouldn't have stayed here.
I spent a while at the toilet, trying to cool down. Maybe I'd be able to sleep, but I was afraid. Almost petrified that the nightmares would come again. I wanted to rest during the nights, not freak my ass off. At least I knew why I had this kind of dreams right now. I knew Kurt would never leave me, he'd sure remain as my friend, no matter what else he'd want. Still, a little bit of fear remained in my heart. Maybe it was too much for him to handle.
I returned to the bed, Kurt was already asleep. I couldn't help but smile again, he indeed was a cute creature. I wanted to learn how to look cute while sleeping. I slipped my feet under the blanket and laid down. The uneasy feeling returned but I wiggled closer to Kurt and gently held his arm. It helped me cut the crap out and try to fall asleep.
I actually slept for the rest of the night, and I slept good. Again I woke up with Kurt's arm lightly around me, this time I had a reason to believe he was already awake; he was stroking my arm gently. I didn't reveal my awakeness yet, I remained motionless and wished that Kurt had the habit of talking his thoughts out loud. Or that I could read his thoughts, maybe that would've cleared some things.
I decided to 'wake up' after a while, obviously it was telling nothing to me. Kurt noticed that I had awaken, but he didn't take his hand away.
"Morning. Was the rest of the night better?" Kurt asked right away.
"Morning, yes, thank you," I answered and turned to him.
"I just wish I could help you get rid of all those things, premanently," he said, sounded almost like apologizing.
"Believe me, I wish so too," I snorted. It was quite awkward to act that way, even with Kurt. I remembered the times I had woken with mum, dad or Everett next to my bed, trying to cool me down. It definitely was easier with Kurt, but I felt a bit like I was bothering him.
We laid in the bed for a while more, just talked about stuff but I started to get hungry.
"I better get up and make us some breakfast. How would scrambled eggs sound like?" I suggested.
"Good. Let me come help you," he said and got on his feet.
"No, no, as a thank you for last night, please! You keep on resting, or do something else, I'll take care of the food," I insisted. Kurt hemmed at me and sat back on the bed, he said he'd get changed while I was cooking.
I tried to make everything as perfect as I could, maybe I could help Kurt to decide to start a relationship with me. Or that was at least what I wished for. I took some bread too, stuffed them and threw them to the oven, they'd sure taste good. I felt incredibly nervous, I wished that Kurt would make up his mind quite soon, or I'd die from frustration.
"Hmm, something smells good in here," I heard Kurt's voice from behind me.
"I hope it'll taste OK as well," I laughed and lurked at him from the corner of my eye. I couldn't interpret his face, no help from there.
"I'm sure it'll be just good," he said and sat to the table.
The day went by fast, Kurt left home around six, he had left his homework and didn't take his book with him. Besides, I wanted to give him time to think alone. I hoped I could survive the night all by myself, would be good to manage to do so. I had to put another shirt on almost right after Kurt left, it felt like the room temperature had dropped quite a bit. Most probably it was just my imagination getting wild but well, couldn't help it.
Also I had some homework to be done, even though I had asked Kurt about my biology assignment, I remembered it pretty well. It wasn't easy trying to concentrate, everything reminded me about Kurt. Finally I allowed myself to properly think of him, maybe it would ease my mind. Or it would make it worse. Either way, trying not to think him at least wasn't helping.
I leaned back, the sofa was soft and comfy. I had sat on it numerous times with Kurt, watching television, doing other stuff, everything. I wished that from now on it would include also some serious cuddling, later maybe even more. I still didn't know if it was a good or bad thing that Kurt wanted some time to think of it. He always thought stuff completely through before making up his mind, he was dedicated. I would've appreciated him just throwing himself to my arms and being happy there but well, he needed his time.
I already missed Kurt's eyes, the way they shone when he laughed or got excited. I would've been happy to spend my every moment with him, if he just allowed me. Maybe I was already kind of living that point of a relationship when you want to spend every single second with that another person. I had a good reason, no one could deny that.
I was smirking by myself when I heard someone get in. My bodyhair got up at once, my brain started to search for answers. Mum and dad were supposed to be another week away, what about Everett? Was he coming home today? I really couldn't remember, I just froze to my place and stared towards the hallway. Who ever was coming in didn't make a fuss about themselves, I only heard steps getting closer.
I breathed out slowly when I saw who came. It indeed was Everett, he had almost scared the shit out of me.
"Oh, hey there bro, I thought you'd be at Kurt's," he said, laid the huge bag on the floor and came to sit next to me.
"Hey Ev, I didn't remember at all that you were supposed to come home tonight! You scared me," I answered and hit him.
"Well, can't expect you to remember anything, can I? I need to do my laundry every once in a while, don't you think? That sports-bag is full of dirty clothes! Besides, I have school tomorrow, just like you," Everett stated.
"I thought you'd go to Brenda's or something," I muttered, unfortunately it was true, I never had a clue when someone was supposed to return.
"Well, no need to go to that house anymore. We broke up. She found another guy to search happiness from," Everett said, his voice fading away.
I lifted my head and looked at the boy next to me. Everett's head had sank a bit lower, it was obvious that he was down.
"I'm so sorry to hear that! But, why? I thought you two were happy together," I said.
"Well, so did I. I know we pretty much never were extremely close but I still cared a lot. I think it's partly because of us being twins. She complained about not being able to tell the difference between us, I knew what she meant even though she tried to make a joke out of it," Everett sighed.
"But we are so different from each other! Well, we maybe look quite much like each other; after all, we're identical twins. But we dress and act in totally different ways! And we've never used the prank about changing lives," I stated.
"I know and agree. I'm the least bit musical, you're the least bit sporty, I'd never wear your clothes and the same other way around. But I know it bothered her, some way. Maybe she didn't trust me completely, maybe that was the issue from the very beginning," Everett shrug his shoulders.
"If that's the case, it's just good that she broke up. I mean, you must trust each other, otherwise it's not going to work. In that way we're not different at all, I'd say we both are trustworthy," I said and rubbed his shoulders.
"Yes, but it still hurts," Everett sighed, looking sad. I looked at his deep brown eyes, it was almost like looking at the mirror. Our eyes sometimes changed their color, or that's at least how it seemed to me.
"Of course it does. Do you really want to go to school tomorrow, I can stay in with you," I offered. There wasn't too much I could do, but I could be there and keep him company, cook something or just listen to what he had things to say.
"I want to go, I feel like it's best for me to keep on going right now. I have enough time to think about it once I'm alone," Everett said.
That was one difference between us, I always started to feel better after some talking, Everett wanted to keep everything to himself. Maybe I should talk to him about my weekend, try to give him something else to think. Anyway we always shared a lot of our lives.
"Kurt was here with me for almost the whole weekend," I told Everett.
"I'm not surprised. Should I?" he asked and looked at me with a cricked smile on his face.
"Maybe not. I had nightmares again, I couldn't sleep alone at all," I revealed.
"Really? The beating again?" Everett guessed.
"That too. But last night it was all about me losing Kurt, in one way or another," I explained.
"You losing Kurt? Have you told him?" Everett asked.
I smiled, he followed my mind really well. I needed to say about half of the things, he knew the rest of it.
"I did," I answered.
"And...?" Everett tried to keep me going.
"He said that he needs some time to think about it," I said.
"Well, that's a good thing. I suppose. With anyone else, it'd be quite close to disastrous. With Kurt, he always thinks everything through. Which is why I never ever want to go to the grocery-store with him," Everett laughed.
"Believe me, I know. I like to go shopping with him, though," I said.
"You'd like to do anything ever imaginable with him," Everett added. I couldn't deny it.
We kept on talking for a good while more, but I started to yawn too wide. Everett sent me to bed, he was planning of doing some more laundry before going to bed himself, he had already washed some of it.
"If I start shouting, it's just nightmares," I tried to joke about it.
"If it's bad, just wake me up. I wish I could help you through them, I'd want to know why now, they were away for a while, weren't they?" Everett asked.
"They were, exactly. Maybe it was the terror that Kurt had to go through that brought the memories back," I suggested.
"Maybe. Well, let's hope for a good night. Sleep well," Everett wished.
"Thanks, you too," I answered and went to my room.
I washed my teeth and got changed, the bed wasn't exactly calling my name. I looked at it, tried to imagine Kurt laying there, but it just led me to some pretty wild thoughts. My god, he knew how to tease, even when not trying to do so! I shook my head, it was time to calm down and really go to sleep. I went below my blanket, just as I started to feel relaxed and warm, my phone buzzed on the table.
I had received a message, it was from Kurt. I wasn't surprised, I had kind of been waiting for it.
"Hey, you asleep? All good?" the message said.
"Well, not anymore ;D nah, jk, I was still awake. All is good! And you?" I answered. I waited for a while, Kurt replied quickly.
"That's good. I'm fine, just wanted to check you up. Just call me if you need me, right? Good night 3"
I stared at the message for a good while, he didn't use hearts too often! Maybe this was a sign? Or then it was just that my mind was being to optimistic. I almost forgot to reply to him, I didn't know what to say. I just sent him good night-wishes and laid the phone back to the table. I massaged my cheeks a bit, they were almost as carved to their current being. This wide smile on my face felt kind of nice; I had found new hope.