I've lost track of the reviews I have responded to and the ones that I haven't. That's how long it's been. I apologize.

"I got the job!" I skipped up the front steps, having grabbed the mail on the way in. Jake was in the kitchen – eating and disrobing – a tell-tale sign that it was his turn for patrol. Wolf-form burned through calories like '57 Cadillac burned through gasoline. That's why the boys ate all the time. And is such massive quantities.

"Really?" he asked through a mouth full of food. He swallowed. "That's great. Congratulations. Maybe now you can stop sitting in this house all the time harassing me and get yourself a life, huh?"

"Oh real cute, Jake," I replied as I slapped the mail on the counter and went to the fridge. "Don't tell me you ate all the leftovers because I don't have the cash for takeout or the will to cook tonight."

I pushed aside the cartons of yogurt, looking for something to call dinner, when Jake spoke. "What's this?" I glanced around only quickly and noticed he was going through the mail on the counter.

"The mail," I replied, turning back into the fridge and pulling out the last bit of macaroni and cheese my brother had managed to miss. "I don't know. I haven't been through any of it yet. Have we won a million dollars? Is the state finally realizing we mixed you up at birth? I knew you never looked anything like me."

I stood up and turned around. Normally Jake would've retorted now and I wondered if he was in the room or even still listening to me. I peeked up and saw that he was pacing around in the living room. He must've left the kitchen in a heartbeat because a piece of mail was still floating to the ground. I put the container of macaroni on the counter and walked towards the renegade letter.

I could hear Jake muttering a series of curses and just diatribing in general. He was starting to shake – that wolfy shaking – and I immediately bent down, grabbed the off-white cardstock and surveyed it quickly, noting that it felt rather fancy. An additional, more plain piece of paper slipped out but I let it fall.

You are cordially invited to attend the wedding of

Isabella Marie Swan

and

Edward Anthony Cullen

Shit. That's where I stopped reading. That's all I needed to know. I slapped the invitation down on the counter and ran around it, to my brother who now looked on the verge of a seizure. I stepped in front of him, knowing that he could lose it at any moment and hurt himself or me, but I was determined to at least get him out of the house. I took his hands as he continued shouting in anger and sadness and guided him towards the front door.

"Jake, listen to me," I pleaded. I could feel the blood rushing through his system and heating him even more than normal. "You need to calm down. You can't sort anything out if you don't calm down."

I couldn't bear to give him the 'it's okay,' 'everything's going to be okay' spiel. Because I knew it wasn't. Bella was getting married. To another man. The guy that left her for dead. And as much as I disliked her, she made my brother happy and now at the end, she'd chosen someone else. He'd come out on the bottom after giving his all. I couldn't blame him for losing it and I knew everything was not going to be okay. I couldn't lie to him.

I had got him down the front steps and into the yard, when he'd managed to grind out, "Get… back…" I took that as my cue and released his hands running back up the walk. I only made it to the porch before I heard that terrible sound like tearing flesh as he shifted – uncontrollably – into his wolf.

I honestly expected that he would be angry. I expected growling and snarling and barking. But I turned around and he was just laying there. Dejected. I could tell from his big wolfy face that he was beyond sadness. I felt my heart plummet into my stomach and knew there was nothing I could do.

"Jake?" I called out as I came back down the steps towards him. I crossed the lawn slowly. I crouched down and placed a hand gently on his shoulder. I opened my mouth to speak but he ruffled his fur, stood up paced down to the end of the yard, looked down the street and then ran into the woods. It wasn't a moment later that I heard a howling in the distance.

I sat there for a moment, thinking what to do. I felt a wetness on my face and realized I was crying. I wiped my face and stood up suddenly. I ran into the house and found my cell phone. I rifled through the phone numbers tacked to the fridge and in the basket next to the house phone. I couldn't find Sam's number anywhere. I finally resided to the next best thing.

"Emily?" I asked as she picked up. I tried to regulate the emotion in my voice but she noticed anyways.

"Rachel? What's wrong? Are you okay?"

"I'm fine. Is Sam there?" I wiped my nose and glanced out the window, hoping against hope that maybe Jake would come back.

"Sure, let me go get him. You're sure you're okay, though?"

"Yes. I'm all right."

I took a few deep breaths while Emily went to go get Sam. There was a rustle as the phone was passed and then Sam's even bass echoed across the line. "Rachel?" he seemed surprised to get a call from me. "What's wrong?"

"It's Jake, Sam. He's gone. I didn't know who else to call. I didn't know what to do. He just lost it."

"Whoa, Rachel, slow down. He lost it?," he repeated, knowing my meaning. "Are you all right."

"Yes! I'm fine!" I was getting tired of answering that question. "But he's gone, Sam. Gone. He was so upset. He just ran off."

"Okay, we're going to—" Sam was cut off at this point by a racket even I could hear Emily's house.

"Sam!" called the voice. "It's Jake! He's flipping the fuck out! It's bad, man! You gotta get out here. Quil's trying to talk sense to him, but it's not looking good." It sounded like Embry. Or maybe Jared.

"All right, all right, I get it. I'm coming," he replied as his hand tried to muffle the receiver. "Rachel," his voice returned to its normal volume. "I'm sending one of the guys over. We're gonna take care of this."

I nodded before realizing Sam couldn't hear me nod through the phone. "Thanks," I replied. I hung up the phone and sat on my porch steps with my head in my hands and waited for whoever was headed to my house. It was less than five minutes before Embry materialized out of the woods Jake had only just disappeared into. He was pulling up his shorts as he jogged towards me.

"Hi, Embry," I mumbled in recognition. I wasn't crying anymore – thankfully – but the feeling remained.

He took a seat beside me. "What happened, Rach?"

My head slumped on his shoulder; I always liked Embry. He was a kind and quiet kid. The pack made him slightly more outgoing but the shift didn't change him too much. He was a very empathetic person. "You didn't hear?" I asked. "You ran over here, didn't you?"

"No," he shook his head. "I can hear him, but it's nothing really intelligible. It's more just emotion. It was pretty miserable though."

I took a deep breath and exhaled. "He got an invitation to Bella and Edward's wedding."

"Aw… shoot, really?" He rubbed his hand over his forehead. "Wow… well, that explains a lot. Geez, that's really sucks. Hardcore."

"Yep," was all I could offer.

"How many fucking times do I have beg you to stay away from any of us when we get like that?"

Embry's calm and dulcet manner had been replaced shortly after his arrival by slightly more abrasive and irate boyfriend.

"Paul," I yelled. "You don't understand! He was so upset! All I wanted was to get him out of the house! He wasn't going to hurt me!"

"Like hell he wasn't," he retorted. "An unintentional shift is totally uncontrollable, Rach." It's a testament to Paul's tolerance of my short fuse and his mastery of his own anger that he never yells at me. I do all the yelling. I'm not ignorant to the fact that I am the calisthenics for Paul's control. "Rachel," he continued, "I can see inside his mind. He was so close to losing it right next to you that even he was scared. Nothing is bad enough to warrant your getting hurt."

"Because you love me, right?"

"Yes…" he said. He sounded worn out. I stood up from my spot on the porch and marched into the house. Paul followed me part of the way and I picked up the offensive card stock envelope from the counter and the piece of paper that'd fallen out of it and stuffed it back inside. I thrust the envelope at Paul and he looked at me oddly.

He opened it up and pulled out the piece of paper that I hadn't read, first. "What's this?"

"I don't know I didn't read that one."

"It's from the Leech," he said in shock.

I reached up quickly and snatched it from his hand. I folded it back up and slipped it into my pocket. Paul gave me a 'what gives?' look. "It's not ours to read."

He shook his head, knowing he would eventually siphon it off my brother's mind eventually. I didn't care. Even that was different then reading the letter. It was personal and I wasn't ready to go there yet.

Paul pulled the fancy card from its matching envelop before he read about as far I probably had. I watched his expression change and his eyes widen. "August 13th?" he asked in surprise. Okay, maybe he read a little further. "It's the middle of June. Don't weddings take time?"

"What?" I stepped closer and looked at the part of the invitation that I hadn't seen. "Holy crap," I muttered. "Yes. They take months."

Paul sat down on the couch as he continued to stare at the invitation. "No wonder he flipped out. Twiggy little Swan broke that boy in half, good and proper."

I flopped down next to him. "Are you feeling sympathetic? That sounds very unlike you."

"I'm just imagining what it would be like to lose you. Your brother really loved that girl."

"I know… Now I have to tell Dad…"

Somehow, word of Jacob going missing got around awfully quick. The pack couldn't reel him back in; Sam told them to let him be. Jake ran off later that day and he's been gone ever since.

Charlie came over that afternoon just after I sat down with my Dad to tell him about it. Billy was really upset – he didn't show it – because that's how he rolls, but I knew it.

Charlie Swan always liked him a lot. He preferred him for Bella over Edward. Good man, that Charlie Swan. Good judge of character. Charlie didn't know about the wolves, and mounted a plan to paper the whole county with a missing person's flyer.

I was at a total loss. I didn't know what to tell my dad or what to say or what to do. I knew nothing could really make it better. I knew he felt like he was losing all his family. First he lost my Mom, then Becca got married, I went to school and now Jake had run off. I didn't blame him one bit for feeling the way he did.

"He'll be back, Dad," I assured him. "He just needs to sort out his head. A broken heart isn't so easy to mend."

That, my Dad did understand. After losing Mom all those years ago, he was heart-broken. He loved the woman so much and their lives were torn apart so early. Bella was literally as good as dead. She would be married and changed soon. Those leeches would stop her heart.

But my Dad wasn't depressed forever after my Mom passed. He came back. He raised his kids and loved us and had fun and laughed and we had a good childhood. So my Dad knew Jake would be back. The question was when.

It was an odd little hole in the house now. It was quiet without Jake always talking or laughing or making stupid comments. The house was still at night, totally devoid of his bear-like snoring. It was just colder without him.

It made me so sad.