I cleared my throat awkwardly as the five of us walked down the Jedi Temple's stone entrance steps "Master Kenobi?"
"Yes captain?" the Jedi answered.
"Well sir" I said wretchedly, from my experience Jedis didn't generally much like us clones pointing out the faults in their bloody silly plans "Corusants undercity, well I mean to say sir, it's pretty big, is what I'm driving at. It'll take us a long time to search ever criminal hot spot on the planet".
To my surprise Kenobi didn't seem irritated at my objection, in fact if anything he seemed pleased "an excellent point Hawk, fortunately you probably will not have to search the entire undercity. Master Skouras believes that a likely place for you to begin your search would be the Gamorrean's Tusk, a rather uncouth bar frequented by many notorious bounty hunters, criminals and other low-lifes".
"Brilliant!" grinned Ahsoka "we'll have the clanker lovers behind an energy barrier before you know it!"
Kenobi sighed exasperatedly, but smiled as he said "we don't know for certain that they're Separatist sympathisers Ahsoka. There is no need to jump to conclusions. Although" he added "you're probably right".
Well I won't bore you with a description of our journey; it was as uneventful as most airspeeder trips are on Coruscant (that is when the Jedi aren't out disturbing the peace). Eventually we put down on a deserted landing pad and, after wishing us a solemn "may the Force be with you" Kenobi took off.
Of course there was no time like the present for Skywalker, who immediately began to dispense orders "ok Rex, you'll go in first, then you Hawk, we'll bring up the rear" he added indicating himself and his padawan. "Remember, keep a low profile. We're here to try to pick up any lead we can on the terrorists". He turned "when you're ready Rex".
Skywalker, Ahsoka and I watched from around a corner as Rex walked towards the Gamorrean's Tusk. I groaned in the privacy of my own head, honestly is that how Rex thought a mercenary walks, half swagger, half constipated strut? I noticed a couple of jawas by the bars door ceasing their incessant chattering to stare in stupefied amazement as the captain strode past them. But apart from raising a few eyebrows the bars patrons didn't seem to suspect anything, at least there weren't any cries of "clone, get him!"
"Right, your turn Hawk, good luck" whispered Skywalker in my ear. Not trusting myself to say anything I simply nodded and began the long walk towards the door I had just seen Rex pass through. To my satisfaction I didn't seem to be attracting any undue attention, apart from a scantily clad twi'lek girl, who fluttered her eyelids and smiled coquettishly at me. Confident that the helmet I was wearing, obscuring as it did the upper portion of my face, made recognition as a clone unlikely, I grinned and looked her up and down appreciatively as I past. Only playing the part of course.
I'm sure many of my readers have been into a bar or club before, and perhaps some of you may have been into a few rather seedy establishments in your time. However, I can assure you that, no matter how rough the crowd, no matter how run-down the area, you've never been in a place quite like the Gamorrean's Tusk. If I was a Corusant Security Force officer I'd have arrested the lot of them (or got someone else to) on sight. Smoke filled the air, every patron looked as if they were about to murder the person next to them and the barman had a blast cannon slung across his back. Trying to ignore my growing apprehension I walked towards the bar and suddenly noticed Rex.
"Force damn it" I whispered under my breath, for standing against a pillar was not Rex the mercenary from Tatooine, but unmistakably Rex of the 501st. Standing at parade rest and glaring angrily around at the other patrons, honestly, why didn't he just sing the Republic galactic anthem and have done with it! "Rex!" I hissed out of the corner of my mouth as I stopped next to him, in the pretext of eyeing up another of the bars buxom young ladies "act casual, for Force's sake, you'll give the whole game away!"
Rex started and then nodded, doing his best to appear casual. He still stood out like a Wookiee ballerina, but not as badly as he had done before. Poor old Rex I thought as I resumed my journey towards the bar, he wasn't cut out for this spying lark. Don't get me wrong, if I had to be in a firefight there's no one in the galaxy I'd rather have watching my back than Rex. A better shot you'll struggle to find, damn good in hand to hand combat to, and unlike many 'a clone, Rex can think on his feet. In fact I still didn't know just how much of an individual thinker he was at the time, and I wouldn't until Order 66. But again that's another story. But he was born for fierce battles and ferocious commando raids, not all this sneaking about.
At last I reached the bar and took a seat on one of the stools. The bartender was, I suppose technically human, although only in the broadest possible terms. Well over seven feet tall, built like a Gamorrean and with a face that no mother, no matter how drunk, could love. He growled at me, which I took to be an enquiry whether or not I would care for a drink and I was on the point of ordering a one (which I sorely needed) when I stopped myself just in time. I shuddered as I realized how close I'd come to potentially revealing myself. You see we clones don't just share a face, we share a voice to. My mandalorian accent might just have been enough to expose my identity.
Thinking fast I settled on a Babali drawl "why thank you boy, I reckon I'll take..." I hesitated while I considered my choice and just happened to glance to my right, and very nearly yelped in shock. Sitting beside me, complete with broad-brimmed hat and duster coat, was none other than Cad Bane himself. I'd thought it was a bit odd that there'd been a spare seat at the bar when the place was so busy. Force, people knew better than to sit next to the most dangerous bounty hunter in the galaxy! I recovered well, concealing that fact that I felt as though my heart was thrashing about in my throat, and said "I reckon I may just have whatever this gentleman is a' havin".
It was the barman's turn to hesitate for a second, before grunting "one Bane special".
Now I could have let that pass, and I would have liked nothing better, but I suppose a part of my defective brain thinks like a clone should, remember the mission and all that, because I frowned and said "Bane? Now boy that a' wouldn't be Cad Bane would it?" The man's discomfort was palpable, again he hesitated before nodding. Well, I thought to myself, here goes nothing. [Author's Note: I will be amazed if anyone can tell me what movie this is a reference to] "Pardon me mister partner, who is this Cad Bane?" The barman's mouth fell open in amazement "I keep a' herin his name everywhere I go on this planet, who might this boy be precisely?"
Throughout the conversation the bounty hunter beside me hadn't so much as moved, only now did he raise a the brim of his hat with a finger "That would be me".
Once again I valiantly maintained the illusion that me bowls weren't trying to evacuate and nodded my head in polite recognition "ahh, now ain't that the darndest thing, I was so hopin' I might run into you sir".
Cad Bane smiled his easy smile and said "And why might that be?"
"Well now you see, you an I are in the same business as it were, and I thought that you might well, be able to point the way to a nice contract. One suitable for a gentleman like myself".
Bane smiled again "I thought that you just said that all you knew of me was my name?"
Controlling the impulse to run like a startled swamp rat I returned his smile "well you see boy, I kinda had an inclin' that you might just be the gentleman I was searchin' for. So I thought I might just do a little fishin' an see".
Bane eyed me for a moment and I was about to either leg it for the door or go for my blaster when the Duros bounty hunter chuckled "you know friend I like you; what do people call you?"
Horrified I realized that I hadn't come up with a fake name, and whilst I desperately racked by brains for one I played for time "what do people call me? Why that'd depend on the people you had in mind. But friends, acquaintances and business associates, why they call me...Hake". I know, awful, but you try to think up a new name with a cold blooded (literally) killer sitting in front of you.
Still it seemed to pass and Bane nodded "alright Hake, listen up, I can think of a few contracts that you might be interested in. However, if you like, I can offer you a cut of the contract that I, and a few, as you say business associates, are on at the moment".
I realized with a thrill of hope that Bane might just be about to spill the beans about the Jedi Temple plot. If he told me I could make my excuses, run and tell Skywalker and Co that I'd uncovered the plot and take a generous portion of the glory when the Jedi order rounded up these damn mercenaries. Concealing my excitement I nodded "and what might this current contract be exactly?"
Bane glanced up and then grinned "perfect timing, take a look at the door".
Turning I looked towards the door of the Gamorrean's Tusk, but couldn't see anything apart from a couple of fresh patrons entering the bar. Suddenly my heart, which had been pounding with excitement, seemed to stop beating, for I recognized the new comers. Surely it must be some mistake, surely just a horrible coincidence.
"You see the tall gentleman in the red robe and hood, and the, ha, twi'lek girl?" My meagre hopes that Bane had been indicated something other than the Jedi and his padawan were extinguished. Not waiting for an answer Bane continued "that, my friend is Jedi Knight Anakin Skywalker, and his togruta padawan Ahsoka Tano. And" he added grinning still wider "if you would care to look in the direction of that pillar, that ludicrously dressed individual is clone Captain Rex of the 501st legion".
It was like a nightmare, Bane and his fellow bounty hunters knew about us, and if they knew about Skywalker, Ahsoka and Rex, then they must, I realized with growing horror, know that I to was a spy! Bane must have known who I was from the start and had been playing me along until the Jedi arrived. I wanted to explain myself, beg for mercy, run, do something! But I was frozen with shock, my voice gone. Bane winked at me "you'll enjoy this" and so saying rose from his seat, drawing as he did so a brace of blaster pistols and said loudly "good evening Jedi, we've been expecting you".