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Chapter is finally finished, yay °o° Have fun :3
Titel: A Sickness named Helplessness
Part: 3/3
Mainpairing: Fidio/Rococo
Note: Beware Boy's love and a depressed Fidio
Disclaimer: Inazuma Eleven and its characters are not mine and I don't earn anything with it
The last thing Fidio reflect on before he felt asleep was that he felt relaxed in Rococo's arms.
Because of this he hoped that his dream would vanish like the pain did. It did more or less. He did not dream of Rococo throwing him through the room, no. Nevertheless he dreamt of him.
The pattern of his dream went like this: Normally, Fidio was cornered and slapped by Rococo, as a result he lay on the ground so that the other one bend over him and then he would wake up. He never asked himself how the dream could continue because he was to busy to handle the dream itself. Now, he dreamt again, but this time the dream started when Fidio lay already on the ground.
He prepared himself, thinking of the worst case – but nothing happened. Suddenly, he felt something wet falling down on his cheeks. He looked up to see Rococo's face with tears in his eyes, falling down on him. And then he bend his head down to Fidio's ear in order to mumble the same words over and over again.
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."
He kissed him soft on the cheek, only to continue with his apologise afterwards. Like a mantra he said these words, kissed him briefly and restarted. Fidio closed his eyes before he reached out for Rococo's neck and pulled him into an embrace. The words stopped though the kisses did not.
As Fidio woke up he realised at first that he actually enjoyed this dream in contrary to the one before. The next thing he recognized was that he lay in a bed and was holding hand with someone. The last thing he found out was that Rococo watched beside his bed – what means that it was his hand which he was holding.
"Good morning", Rococo said before he let go of his hands.
Ignoring the greeting, Fidio reached instinctively for the goalkeeper's hand, showing him with this that he did not want to let go. Rococo looked at him in bewilderment but did not say anything. Instead, he sighed and intertwined their fingers.
"What time is it?"
Fidio asked quietly, closing his eyes to enjoy the warm feeling – because Rococo's hand was warm in contrast to before as his hands were unlikely cold. This could only mean that he sat there for a long time which was affirmed by the goalkeeper's next words.
"It's eight o'clock in the morning", he told him, continuing with the next words when Fidio remained silent.
"Hidetoshi and I took you to the hotel around midnight. Hide was the one who send me to my hotel room so that I could rest myself and who stayed by your side."
"When did you come back", the Italian boy asked.
"Seven o'clock or so", he admitted though he was uncomfortable with this confession.
Fidio could not resist to chuckle but stopped to open his eyes and look around.
"Your teammates are still at the mansion. Edgar offered some of them, who were to tiered to return to their hotels, a room", he answered as if he suspected what Fidio wanted to know.
It was true. Before Rococo had returned to his hotel room like Hide told him, he went back to look if his comrades are still there. Most of the other teams were already gone, for example Unicorn or The Kingdom, but some teams were still at the mansion. Inazuma Japan was the most active team extant and his own team was just as well quite talkative. Although he had looked through the room, he could not sense any single player of Orpheus so he had asked Edgar, the host, if the had seen them. Knights of Queen's captain had told him then that he had given the tiered team some rooms so they did not need to go all the way back. Rococo was relived because he could go back to the hotel of Orpheus later, without worrying that Fidio's teammates would been there. Happily, he had gone to his team to tell them he would return to his room. They did not mind but had told him they would come back later.
After a somehow heart-warming farewell which he had with Mamoru, he had finally gone to the hotel room to sleep for a while. He felt really tiered nevertheless he could only sleep till six o'clock, then he was wide awake and had no chance to fall asleep again. So he headed to the other hotel which was fortunately just ten minutes away.
Fidio let out a sigh which sounded like relief, making Rococo giggle.
"What's so funny?", the Italian wanted to know.
"Nothing. Just thought that it's not like you to distance yourself from others."
A sad smile was formed on his lips – he know what the goalkeeper was referring to. He was surprised at his action himself but had not been able to change them. He loved his team so he did not want them to be concerned about his dream. So he dealt alone with his helplessness.
"It's not like you to be such a clinging person", Fidio said abruptly, looking to their hands, in order to avoid any questions. Rococo blushed slightly, sensing that now was a good moment to tell Fidio about his feelings. Although he did not want to because he thought that he would destroy their friendship, he felt something inside him that pushed him to confess. Maybe it was because Fidio had neither be disgusted because of the kiss nor let go of his hands.
"It's only because of you", he tried carefully, not wanting to go like a bull at a gate.
"The same goes for me", Orpheus' captain murmured in the heat of the moment.
"What?"
Totally irritated by his words, Rococo glanced at Fidio forgetting what he wanted to say originally.
Fidio, now realising his own words, turned pink and looked quite embarrassed at the wall.
Silence spread out and lasted for some time, till suddenly Rococo started to laugh.
The Italian starred at him, now only blushing flimsy, and if he had not have known the other one, he would have thought that he is insane.
"Sorry", Rococo apologised , "I just thought how you would look at me if I tell you that your face right now is kind of cute. And the image just made me laugh."
Fidio did not look like he imagined, nevertheless his glance was priceless so Rococo was not able to stop laughing.
Confused by his words, Fidio just starred at their intertwined fingers and all of the sudden he recognized how odd this whole situation was.
The kiss, their embrace, their touches – all of it caused a feeling he should not have.
Because Rococo was his friend, nothing more. Why should there be more? Even if there exist something more between them, they were both boys. Not that his family was against it, but he was not sure if Rococo's family would like that. Not to mention his teammates. His own team was alright – he know that Marco and Gianluca liked each other more than friends should, but it was okay, wasn't it? Fidio stopped his thoughts for a second – was he exculpating himself from his feelings towards Rococo? At the thought of the last part, he blinked in confusion. Does he really have feeling for him which are stronger than friendship? Thinking about all this made everything worse and after all he just find one answer to all of his question.
"Fidio? Did I say something wrong?", Rococo asked his friend, looking at him worriedly.
He just shook his head, averted his glance from their fingers and gazed at Rococo. Not sure what the other one was thinking, the goalkeeper wanted to say something but was interrupted by Fidio.
"I'm sorry" And without another word, the Italian boy closed the distance between them by pressing his lips against the other ones. Rococo returned the kiss without hesitation although he was unsure about Fidio's intention – not knowing that his intention was rather the result of the answer for most of his questions.
"Why did you apologise?", Rococo hummed softly in his ear when they broke the kiss.
"Because I realised your feelings to late", he mumbled back, pulling him down into an embrace.
They stayed like this without thinking about the consequences for their relationship even as they shared a second and a third kiss. The reason for it was easy – their relationship was indefinable for their current situation. Fidio's helplessness might have disappear but this did not mean that he actually really loved him; Rococo knew that. They could just wait for the future because now was the wrong time to settle things. They just had one or two hours left and they did not want to miss them by talking about their feelings which were insecure in some points. At least they know that they liked each other.
That satisfied them at the moment.
One week later, Fidio looked curious at a letter in his hand. But this time he knew already who the addresser was. With a smile, he read trough it feeling happier with every further line. Inwardly, he could not feel any better. Rococo and he were exchanging letters with the hope to deepen their relationship in some way and to keep contact. It was cumbersome but he did not dare to complain – their situation could be worse. So he finally decided to write about his dream – which had not appeared once again – in his next letter hoping that he would not be upset.
Suddenly, the doorbell rang hence Fidio lay the letter aside and opened the door.
"Fidio! We're here to pick you up for training", Marco, who came along with Gianluca, exclaimed.
"I wish you a good morning as well", Fidio smiled benignly when Marco already went ahead.
Then he turned to Gianluca, who just shook his head, and greeted him before he took his training togs so that they could follow Marco.
"You look happy", Gianluca noted as they walked on the double.
"I am happy", he simply answered.
"Will you tell me why?"
Fidio looked briefly at him, then he smiled boldly and quickened his pace.
"Maybe."
Gianluca stopped running and shorttaken watched how his captain and Marco had a race to the football ground. A short time passed, then he smirked and caught up to them thinking about a plan to torture a confession from Fidio. After all he owe the team an explanation why he were light-hearted in the morning when Orpheus flew back to Italy after Edgar's party.
And he knew that the other players would be glad to help him.
Still there after reading? Fine, hope you liked it^^
So, this is the end of "Sickness Named Helplessness" and I hope it was not confusing...
Still thinking about my next Story, so be prepared °0°
Bye for now :3