Author's Notes:
Shoutout to aslansphoenix and BritanyJean for the reviews!
My update schedule has been settled a little better, so hopefully my profile will reflect the actual release dates now. Sorry about the mix-up to anyone who actually looked there - I've been moving, so things have been up in the air.
I do love reviews. In fact, I have decided to start a new policy of reciprocal reviewing, which means that in addition to my usual shoutouts to reviewers on each new chapter, you will receive one review from me for each time you submit one to a newly posted chapter or story. If you don't have anything for me to review (either because you haven't posted any stories or because I've reviewed every story and chapter you have so far), I will find a random fic, most likely out of your favorites, and submit a review to that instead. Sound good?
Thanks to Heather once again for the beta. Oh, and to clarify, whenever a postscript shows up, it will appear above the signature of whoever wrote it.
Chapter Summary: The general consensus seems to be that your story is good for a laugh and not much else, and that Padfoot is far too self-absorbed to be strictly normal.
Dear "Harry,"
I don't know who you really are – none of us do, whatever Moony's decided to pretend – but you sure seem to know Hagrid. I can just see him doing all the stuff in this chapter. We all had a real laugh about Dudley and the pig's tail, and it was quite satisfying to see Uncle Vernon insulted, even if it didn't stop him from insulting Harry in turn.
You've got a good sense of humor, you know. On top of the bit with Hagrid, I'd like to say that I also enjoyed the snake's escape in the zoo, which had Prongs going on for ten minutes about how his son couldn't possibly be a Parselmouth, and Uncle Vernon's increasing insanity concerning the letters. As if a Muggle could stop a letter from being delivered just by boarding up the door!
The others would like me to discuss some other aspects of the chapter. I'll just quote them here.
Moony: "With the possible exception of the rifle, this could easily have taken place at the Dursleys' home. The sea isn't even specified by name, and seas generally do have names. I'm inclined to go with my previous assessment. The setting is made up, even if we assume the scene isn't."
Prongs: "This is ridiculous. How could Hagrid know he's not getting his letters, but assume he knows about Hogwarts? Hagrid isn't stupid. Why else would Harry's aunt and uncle keep the letters from him, if it wasn't to keep him from learning about the school?"
Padfoot: "Where exactly am I in all of this? We know I survived the war, since I let Hagrid borrow my motorcycle. Why couldn't I pick Harry up and give him his letter?"
So now you know what we're all thinking. The general consensus seems to be that your story is good for a laugh and not much else, and that Padfoot is far too self-absorbed to be strictly normal. Moony seems particularly offended by your inconsistent logic, so I think you can expect another (longer) essay next time he writes a letter.
Yours,
Mister Wormtail
Mister Moony
P.S. I am not self-absorbed.
Mister Padfoot
P.P.S. He definitely is.
Mister Prongs
P.P.P.S. If I couldn't show up, you could at least have put in the motorbike. And I am NOT self-absorbed! -Padfoot