A.N. Hey, everyone! I know that I haven't updated PMPY yet this week, and I hope to do that later today…but I just couldn't resist writing something about last night's episode. I haven't actually written a one shot before, so we'll see how this turns out…I hope you enjoy!
The life of a deaf teenager has the ups and downs of the life of hearing teenagers (albeit with less noise), and thankfully, Emmett's life seemed to be on the "up" part. It was pretty amazing that he felt that way because, well, he couldn't remember life ever being so complicated before! His best friend found out that she was switched at birth, his parents were in the process of a divorce and his father had already moved out, he was in some sort of relationship with his best friend's mother's biological daughter who was hearing, and now he was involved with Carlton's fundraiser. Thankfully, though, everything seemed to be working itself out pretty well.
Or at least that's what Emmett had been thinking at the end of school on Tuesday. That was before he and Daphne had gone back to his house to brainstorm ideas for the fundraiser.
Daphne was in the middle of telling him all of her ideas, showing her sketches, when he decided to let her know what plans he already had in motion. At first she was confused.
"You spoke to John? When?" she asked, curiosity and uncertainty in her eyes.
"Actually, I spoke to Bay. She worked it out." Uh-oh, now Daphne looked like she was getting mad.
"You and I are organizing this fundraiser. Why would you talk to Bay?" Daphne wanted to know, but Emmett saw her gaze travel past his left shoulder and land on the wall, where he had posted some pictures of Bay that he had taken.
Daphne walked closer to the wall, examining them, clearly upset. "What's going on?" she wanted to know.
Unnecessarily, Emmett asked, "Bay didn't talk to you?" Clearly she hadn't.
"You said nothing was going on," Daphne accused.
"It wasn't then," Emmett responded truthfully.
Daphne proceeded to use his previous words against him, talking about Brooklyn Decker. "You said you'd wait for a deaf girl," she insisted.
Emmett thought about the years of waiting he had gone through, and what had come of it. "I did wait. I didn't want to wait anymore." Bay had entered his life, and he had realized that he didn't want to wait anymore. He didn't say that last part to Daphne, though. No need to provoke her.
"Why are you doing this?" Daphne asked, as if this was some sort of plot against her. Emmett didn't understand. Why would this be offensive to Daphne?
"What do you mean?" he asked. "I like her," he reinforced, clearly stating that this wasn't some sort of fling, but that he had feelings for Bay. All the times that he had pondered how he was going to tell Daphne, he always pictured something different. He had thought it'd be more difficult to stand up for his relationship with Bay when confronted by Daphne. His years of waiting and waiting for Daphne…he'd thought that when she finally confronted him, he'd maybe tell her lightly about his relationship with Bay. He had never pictured himself really feeling defensive and proud of his relationship with Bay. It was strange, but felt oddly right.
"I've known you my entire life," Daphne said, "You've never been interested in a hearing girl, and now Bay? Of all people?"
Emmett didn't understand Daphne. It was like she thought that he had chosen Bay because of her connection to Daphne. That's not the way it was at all! Emmett would've never predicted things turning out this way! He hadn't gone out and intentionally decided to start having feelings for Bay. It'd happened gradually, and his feeling were still getting stronger!
"Yes," Emmett stated. "Bay, of all people."
Emmett had rarely seen Daphne like this. He'd known her for eight years, and she was always so happy, so full of joy. Now she was behaving like someone had taken her favorite stuffed animal away.
"No," Daphne said, shaking her head, as if that changed anything.
Emmett gave her a look. "I'm not asking for your permission," he clarified.
Daphne gave him a disgusted look, gathered up her things, and left.
Well that could've gone better, he thought.
Wednesday, Bay and he met at a nearby park. They never actually went into the park, but chose to sit on the car. Bay needed to vent, and he needed to eat. Seemed like a good deal.
He sat on top of the The Thing, her beloved car, and she told him all about meeting her biological father. I remember back when life was simple, he thought. My parents were together, my best friend knew who her family was, and I was waiting for my best friend to notice me and realize how perfect we'd be together.
But then Emmett looked at Bay, who was pacing back and forth, dynamically telling him all about her crazy encounter with Angelo, the guy she'd been looking for since this whole thing had come about, and honestly, Emmett had trouble picturing his life without her.
Initially, Emmett had thought that Bay was probably just a spoiled rich kid, but that notion was soon dismissed. Truth be told, Bay was probably deeper, more reflective, and more in touch with her emotions than most of the people he knew. He liked that about her, because not only was she funny, cute, and sarcastic, but she was deep.
"I want to be mad, but I'm not. He's never done anything to me. How do I know what's true unless I hear what he has to say?" Bay asked. It was a valid question. Granted, he'd understand if she decided that she never wanted anything to do with him because it seemed kind of like he had left her, since he had left Daphne, which should've been her (see? This is complicated stuff!), but she was choosing to give him a chance. That was pretty noble of her, in his opinion.
"You don't," he responded, chewing his burger.
She looked at him, and laughed. "How do you sign and eat at the same time?" she asked, impressed.
He smirked. "Lots of practice." She grabbed the burger from him and took a bite. See, Daphne's a vegetarian. She wouldn't do that, a little voice in his head said, admiring how cute and flirty it was when Bay did that. He smiled a little at that voice, while taking a sip of his drink.
"Sorry that Daphne got mad at you," Bay apologized, as if it were her fault.
"I don't care," he signed, once again surprised at how true it was. "She has no right to judge me."
"Ok," Bay said, but then started to defend Daphne. "But things have been sort of sucky for her lately."
Emmett sat there, amazed, as she tried to get him to understand things from Daphne's perspective. A week and a half ago, she had left his room when he wanted to see why Daphne kept texting him. Now, she was defending Daphne to him! My best friend's a girl, I'm dating another girl, and I'll still never understand girls, he thought wryly.
It was also interesting, because Daphne was now being the irrational one, telling him he couldn't date Bay, as if she had a say in the matter, while Bay was trying persuade him to understand things from Daphne's point of view. Life is complicated, he thought again.
At the end of their interlude, he convinced Bay that if she didn't go and see Angelo, she'd regret it. He wasn't sure what would come out of the meeting, but he was positive it was going to be interesting, just like the rest of life nowadays.
Later that afternoon, he was finalizing some things for the carwash. He placed some things down next to where Daphne was standing and tried to catch her eye, but she looked away.
This stops right now, he thought to himself.
"Are you honestly mad at me?" he asked Daphne, figuring the best approach was being straightforward.
"No, I'm sorry. Forget it." Daphne brushed him off. But you're not best friends with someone for eight years without knowing when they're avoiding you and not telling you the truth…and this was one of those times. It was clear that Daphne wasn't being honest with him.
He grabbed her arm and dragged her away to somewhere slightly more private, determined to get everything out in the open, once and for all. He didn't realize how out in the open things would get…
"Tell me what it is," he insisted. "Is it really because she's not deaf, or is it because she's- her?" he wanted to know the truth. "I don't want things to be weird between us."
"I'll get over it. Don't worry," she said, trying to get out of having this conversation now.
"Tell me," he insisted.
"I-" she started, and then stopped. Emmett couldn't imagine what was so difficult for her to spit out. "I started to think maybe you and me…"
Oh, no. Oh, NO. This was not happening. Emmett started to shake his head, not believing what she was saying. "Don't," he told her.
She started trying to explain herself, but Emmett didn't want to hear it.
"How can you do this to me?" he demanded. She started to defend herself again, but now he was really getting mad. "I've been waiting for you for eight years. You had to know that. Eight years!"
Emmett honestly wouldn't have believed this was happening if he hadn't been standing right there. He had been waiting, dreaming for 8 years for this moment…and now? Now is when she decides she has feelings for him?
Honestly, Universe, I don't know what you have against me, he silently thought to the world and whatever higher power there might be.
"It took this whole thing happening for me to realize that you're the only one who gets me. I don't have to read lips or teach signs; we know everything about each other!" Daphne was saying, at the same time that he was accusing her of using him as a security blanket.
"No," she insisted, "it's our sense of humor, our history. I'm sorry if this is bad timing, but it'd be dishonest to hide it from you. Wouldn't it?" The last question she asked pleadingly, begging him to understand and to give her a chance.
All of a sudden, Emmett found himself kissing her, kissing Daphne. He didn't know what compelled him to do such a thing. He supposed it was those eight years of waiting that had really done him in. When you anticipate something for eight years, and then it comes up to your doorstep, offering itself (or herself) to you, it'd be almost inhuman to turn it down. So Emmett was kissing Daphne.
He had spent eight years imagining this moment, imagining kissing Daphne. He had spent eight years thinking about how right it'd feel, how perfect it'd be. He had spent eight years dreaming of this moment, and now it was here, and…
He had expected to feel magic, he had expected it to feel right. He had expected it to feel like he was coming home, like he and Daphne were finally where they were supposed to be, out of the dreaded "just friends" zone and into something more. But it didn't. He deepened the kiss, thinking maybe if it was more intense, he'd start to feel those magical feelings…but he didn't.
Instead, after the first second or two of the kiss, he started thinking of Bay and what kissing her was like. And he realized that kissing Bay was what felt right, even though he'd never pictured it that way.
He pulled away from Daphne, confused at how everything had been turned upside down, shaking his head, barely able to look at the vulnerability clearly displayed in her eyes and on her face. "I'm with Bay," he said, and walked away.
That night, Emmett laid on his bed, doing some serious thinking. He felt so conflicted, and yet, so NOT conflicted at the same time. It was like everything he had thought was black was now white, and everything he'd thought was white was now black.
He thought back to his kiss with Daphne. He had been sure that that kiss, whenever it came, would be the start of the rest of his life. For eight years, he had positive of that one thing. And the truth is, maybe it would've, if all of this stuff hadn't happened. If he hadn't met Bay and they hadn't gotten closer, until gradually they developed feelings for each other.
He thought back to kisses with Bay. He now felt sure that that's what kissing the right one was supposed to feel like. He knew it.
It was just, well, Daphne was deaf, like him. Bay was hearing. They were from two different worlds. Even though Bay was learning sign pretty quickly, there was still a communication barrier between them.
Emmett hit his head against the wall a few times because at least he was sure of how that felt: it hurt.
He tossed and turned for most of the night, dreams of Bay and dream of Daphne plaguing his sleep, waking him up every half hour or so.
The next morning, Thursday, was the carwash. He awoke with a headache, probably due to the lack of sleep from the previous night. He was pretty sure the longest stretch of sleep he'd had was from 4 to 5:30 in the morning.
At the carwash, he was busy cleaning off cars. Expending energy helped with working off some of his frustration. That is, until he saw caught Daphne's eye and she walked away from him. For the brief amount of time that she had looked at him, he saw an accusation in her gaze.
The resulting frustration that he felt from that was probably why he reacted so strongly to Bay shortly after. She, Toby, and Wilke were all cracking up together when he walked past, and she grabbed his arm, wanting to let him on the joke.
It was when she, Toby, and Wilke started all trying to tell him the story that everything just got too much for him. They were laughing, all in on the joke, and he had no idea what was going on. This is why I don't like being around hearing people. He jerked his arm out of her grasp and walked away. Back when life was easy, I knew who I wanted to be with and it was simple. I wanted Daphne, a deaf girl, someone with whom I could communicate easily and who knew me and my family well. Now, Daphne's confessed her feelings to me, and I'm turning her down for a hearing girl? A hearing girl who's still learning to sign, who still needs me to slow down my signing for her, who my mother doesn't really approve of, who doesn't understand what it's like to live in my world? I must be out of my mind!
Bay grabbed his arm again, from behind him, forcing him to stop. "What's wrong?" she asked, concerned.
"You didn't know the sign for bet," he accused her, as if that explained everything. Even he was able to recognize that was lame and pretty weak as far as explanations go.
"I'm sorry, I forgot. I fingerspelled it. What's the big deal?" She said, uncertain what was going on. He looked away, but she touched his arm, making him look at her again. She started to elaborate on all the effort she was putting into learning ASL, and the thing was, he was actually really impressed with how quickly she was picking it up, but still…Emmett didn't like feeling left out or disadvantaged, and his whole life, he had ensured that he didn't feel that way. He was surrounded by deaf people, all of whom could recognize his dynamic and charismatic nature after knowing him for only a short while. They understood him when he signed and he was able to communicate with them easily. He just really despised this feeling that he occasionally got when he and Bay were with other people, the feeling that he was being pitied because they had to slow things down to explain to him. He'd do anything to avoid that feeling, apparently even pick a fight with Bay.
"You're going to drop this the way you drop everything," he accused her, irrationally, forgetting the fact that she was working really hard at learning ASL so that she could communicate more easily with him instead of relying on paper or his reading lips (something which was hard work and made him tired after doing for extended periods of time), forgetting the fact that she was clearly working hard at this relationship, too.
When he saw that she wasn't sure what he had just said, he slowed down his signing to a pace that was basically mocking her, and repeated what he had said before.
He saw tears start to form in her eyes, but refused to let himself feel sympathetic or bad about hurting her. "Why are you doing this?" she asked.
He told her about how hard it was, how demeaning it was for him, and how this was not him, and will never be him. She stared at him, comprehension dawning in her eyes.
"Daphne told you that she likes you, didn't she?" Bay wanted to know, a sad sort of acceptance on her face.
I can't do this, Emmett thought, all sorts of emotions that he didn't want to feel and especially didn't want to try to figure out coursing through him. Instead of answering her though, he took the coward's way out: he walked away.
T.G.I.F., Emmett thought Friday, as he was heading into school. I am ready for this week to be over. What have I accomplished this week, hm? Well, I've effectively estranged my best friend and, oh, essentially broken up with my girlfriend.
Job well done¸ he thought sarcastically.
Apparently, though, the week from hell wasn't yet over, because suddenly, there was Toby Kennish.
"I'm not going to your festival," he stated clearly, after rolling his eyes at Toby's greeting and the fact that he was there.
Toby clearly didn't know what he was signing. "I'm here because of Bay," Toby said, making some sort of strange sign for Bay's name, prettying to flip hair over his shoulder. If Emmett hadn't been so pissed at the world about his horrible week, he probably would've laughed at the sign.
"She likes you," Toby told him, "but now, she's sad. Don't treat my sister like that."
Emmett had given up on trying to understand Toby's signs and had instead gotten the gist of what he was saying from lipreading.
Emmett looked aside, clarity jolting him from the pissed off haze he'd been in for the past 22 hours. Instead of analyzing those feelings right now, he decided to teach Toby the important difference between "gun" and "sister" in sign language. For some reason, Toby's small "thanks" for that, helped solidify in Emmett's mind his feelings and what he needed to do.
At the end of the day, Emmett went to Bay's school, determined to make things right. He caught up to her as she was walking out of school.
"Can I talk to you?" Emmett asked, hoping that his sincerity was evident in his face.
"What are you doing here?" Bay wanted to know. He could tell from her facial expressions that she wasn't exactly pleased to see him. He couldn't really blame her for that, considering that the last time he'd interacted with her, he'd basically blown up at her for something which wasn't really her fault.
"I shouldn't have…" he started to explain, but she interrupted him.
"No, it's fine," she said wearily. "You and Daphne, I get it. I can't compete with that. Just don't make this harder for me than it is already."
Guilt plagued at Emmett for making this girl, who was going through so much, feel so upset…and she wasn't even attacking him for what she perceived as him dumping her for another girl! She was being incredibly understanding, something which couldn't exactly be said for Daphne recently.
He grabbed at her shoulder, forcing her to stop and look at him, but she got in one more heartbreaking comment before he could explain. "Just because I always have some snappy comeback doesn't mean that I don't break easily," she said.
Emmett felt really guilty then. Here was this girl who had basically just confessed that she was heartbroken, but instead of trying to cling onto him, she was letting him go and be with the person who she thought he wanted. Emmett was almost awed by the maturity Bay was displaying.
"I've never been comfortable," Emmett started eagerly, wanting to get everything out before she walked away from him. He started again, a bit slower, making sure that she understood everything he was going to tell her.
"I've never been comfortable around hearing people," he confessed, displaying vulnerability that under normal circumstances, he would've never done. "I haven't been around them much." He could see the question in her eyes. She was wondering why he was telling her this.
Gotta step it up a notch, he realized. "But with you, it was different. From the beginning, you weren't hearing or deaf, you were just Bay." He saw the heartbreak in her face as he was confessing his feelings to her, and knew that she was still uncertain of his feelings for her, of where he was heading with this conversation.
"The truth is, it would be easier if I could just go find a deaf Bay. But I don't want a deaf Bay," he told her truthfully, the emotions that he still wasn't entirely comfortable with spurring him on. Then he did something that he knew she would recognize for its significance. He did something that he knew would reassure her of his feelings for her, especially with all the things he had just said.
"I just want you," he spoke aloud, and as he finished, he saw her façade of strength, which had been cracking before, completely crumble, and she grabbed him and embraced him. And as she was hugging him tightly to her, Emmett smiled, secure in the knowledge that he'd made the right choice, that even if some things would be easier in some ways if he hadn't chosen Bay, this was the right thing, Bay was the right one. He hugged her tighter to him, surprised at how confident he felt, glad that he hadn't lost her due to his own stupid insecurities. Because the truth was, he'd always gotten by, and that was not going to change now, especially when he had such strong, funny, sarcastic, beautiful motivation.
His decision to go with Wilke and Toby to the music festival was due mainly to his relationship with Bay. He realized that he could no longer seclude himself in his bubble of deaf people. Now that he was with Bay, she was doing her part by learning sign, and he had to do his part in at least learning to be around hearing people. After all, he'd always looked down on hearing people for looking down on deaf people, but he'd come to realize that he'd basically been doing the same thing that he'd accused them of doing! He was judging them before he knew them! Now he was going to try to get to know them, or at least a couple of them, before judging them. He figured his girlfriend's brother (or at least, who she'd thought was her brother for 16 years) was a good place to start.
When he drove up to the Kennishes, he saw Toby and Wilke loading things on the car and Bay and Daphne watching. His heart started to beat a little bit faster at the scene, seeing his girlfriend and his best friend, standing side by side, their individual roles in his life. He was glad that he hadn't tried to get them mixed up. Daphne was his best friend, and always would be. Bay was his girlfriend, and for the foreseeable future, always would be.
When he got off his bike, Bay brought over a present for him. "For me?" he questioned, smiling. He opened it up and saw what it was, a grin covering his face.
She explained what it was to him, even though he already knew. He bent down to kiss her in appreciation. The second their lips touched, he was reassured once again how right they were for each other. Even though she wasn't deaf, Bay still got him in a way that nobody else ever had before. It had started as simply a joint appreciation for art, but had deepened to something much more, something which Emmett couldn't really put his finger on and couldn't really explain, but was definitely there. And he was okay with that…
He said good-bye to Daphne, patted Bay on the back in farewell, and then hopped into the car with Toby and Wilke. He was looking forward to this adventure with the guys, even though he was still a little wary. He'd never done this before and had never foreseen himself doing this, but that was okay. Because back when life was easier, didn't make it better. Now was better.
A.N. Hey, hope you enjoyed! Please let me know what you thought of the story!