A/N: Bear with me in this chapter. It's an info dump of tech babble. I hate it.

Chapter 14 – Is That An Alien Device in Your Pocket...

The Gradion Mark VII Scanner convinced Tosh the energy she and Ianto had absorbed was safe. She still wanted Owen to look them over, but he wasn't answering his phone. The contaminated pieces, which now included Ianto's key ring and Tosh's table top, were placed in separate containment boxes. After some discussion, it was agreed the energy was dissipating fast enough Ianto could keep his trousers although Toshiko and Jack both insisted Ianto could remove them again if he wanted to be on the safe side.

"That was thoroughly humiliating," Ianto said to Jack half sitting half leaning on Jack's desk. Tosh was setting up a program to monitor the contained pieces and search for the unusual energy signature in what she coined 'the Rift Zone'. Jack put his arm around Ianto's shoulder.

"I thought it was hot." Jack rubbed his hand a little before giving Ianto's shoulder a reassuring squeeze. "At least Toshiko found it amusing and flattering. She could have been amused and revolted," he joked.

"Or angry, disgusted, and revolted," Ianto said glumly. Jack sighed, pushed back some papers, and sat on his desk.

"I can't imagine who would be anything but thrilled to have you pout those pretty lips at them! Who could resist you?" Ianto didn't detect the usual enthusiasm in Jack's words.

"You did a pretty good job of it," Ianto said.

"I knew something was wrong. I wouldn't take advantage of your junk being under the influence of Rift junk any more than I'd take advantage of you under the influence of roofies. Not that it was easy! When you put my hands on your ass and started that little grinding thing..." Jack shook his head. "We are definitely playing 'horny Ianto seduces Jack' when I'm sure it's just you wanting to play."

"At least the others weren't here. It was embarrassing enough in front of Toshiko, that poor woman."

"Did you see her? She's glowing and I don't think it's from the weird energy."

Jack's smile wasn't one of his usual 1200 watt 'grab your sunglasses' smiles. It was just his lips upturned encouragingly. Of all the smiles Ianto had catalogued, it was among his favorites. He leaned over and kissed the smile lightly.

"Careful," Jack said quietly. "If she sees us she'll think you like me."

"She already knows I do." Jack raised his eyebrows nearly to his hairline and Ianto had to chuckle. "I told her a secret and between that and having a new puzzle to solve is why she's looking so happy."

"What exactly did you tell her," Jack said leering.

"She had a few question about my sexual appetite being 'regularly fed' so I confessed."

"Confessed?" Jack put his hand on Ianto's thigh.

"Yep. Told her I was having an affair with the dry cleaner."

"I suppose that's a little better than the barber." Jack shoved Ianto playfully. Ianto pushed back.

"No, I told her about us," Ianto said looking serious.

"I guess we aren't a secret anymore," Jack said matching Ianto's tone. Ianto shook his head.

"She said she wouldn't say anything to the others and I don't think she will. She and Gwen aren't in the least chummy partially because of Owen and she isn't going to tell Owen because she knows I'd have to tell him about her crush on him."

Jack looked at Ianto perplexed. He started to speak twice before any words came out.

"I have about a hundred questions from that one sentence, but I'll put the gossip aside for now." Jack crossed his arms. "Are you embarrassed about us?"

"I'm not embarrassed," Ianto said covering his face with his hands. "I'm a private person. I don't like being the center of attention."

"But you told Tosh..."

"Because she was hurt I hadn't told her about my new girlfriend! I wasn't going to lie to her. She'd be even more upset when she eventually found out about us if I had." Ianto really didn't want to have this discussion. He was sure it wasn't going any place he wanted to be.

"Fine, so I should get to confide in Gwen now," Jack said. Ianto started to object, but Jack cut him off. "It's only fair. Why shouldn't she know we're lovers?"

"Maybe because it will put a damper on your flirting," Ianto suggested. "I know," Ianto quickly continued, "it's part of your personality and it isn't like we're a couple so I'm not criticizing you. I'm just saying as much as she doesn't think I understand when you are just flirting, I don't think she does either. If she knew you were with me, I'm not sure how she would react or overreact."

Jack leaned his head against Ianto's shoulder. It seemed like a more intimate gesture to Ianto than many of the things they did naked in the room below.

"We have a lot to fight about," Jack said with a small laugh, "but it can wait. Tell me what you told Tosh so I don't say something wrong."

"I didn't say much," Ianto said. He felt like crying at the resigned sound of Jack's voice. If it would make Jack happy, he could tell the others. Dread loomed heavy, as they say, he thought. "I told her we were sleeping together. I didn't give her any specifics. I was deliberately vague." He didn't add he was deliberately vague because he was almost as in the dark on the whole thing as she was.

"Are you sure she didn't already know," Jack said grinning clearly trying to lighten the mood. "We haven't been all that careful and the team does represent the best and the brightest."

"She was completely surprised," Ianto said confidently. "Gwen's the one I'm surprised about. She's a trained observer!"

"Oh she's got your number," Jack said. "She knows you have a crush on me."

"That's like pointing at a child and saying 'I bet he likes sweets.' Practically everyone who knows you fancies you."

"Go on," Jack encouraged.

"I would, but your ego is one of your least enticing traits. I know if I stroke it, it will only grow." Ianto stood and smirked at Jack. He pulled down his jacket and straightened his tie. "Now, sir, you had something you needed before my inappropriate display."

"Mr. Jones," Jack said laughing, "your ability to transform from a lust filled animal into a thoroughly professional man is astounding."

"I'll let you in on a secret, sir," Ianto said leaning into Jack's ear. "It's only superficial. On the inside, I'm still a lust filled animal desperate to tear your clothes off and use your body for my own perverse sexual pleasure." Ianto stepped back and flashed Jack a large, closed lipped smile. Jack growled.

"Great! Now I've got to pretend I have an alien powered lighter in my pocket!" He looked over the Hub and, apparently satisfied Toshiko in sight, leapt at Ianto manhandling him into a passionate, sloppy kiss.

Ianto didn't initiate the kiss, but he dominated it pushing his tongue into Jack's mouth. He pulled back and licked Jack's lips. Jack moaned and Ianto gave him a gentle peck.

"You are a wicked, wicked man, Ianto Jones," Jack said adjusting his suspenders.

"I'm sure you didn't go all the way to Dylan's just to tell me that, sir," Ianto said with another closed lip smile that couldn't hide the gleam in his eyes.

"Actually, I pretty much did. I was sitting here going over these reports and I thought this was way easier when I wait for them to stack up because you type up all the handwritten bits then organize them in just the right order so I don't get too many boring files in a row. That made me wonder what you were doing and I thought I'd rather help clean up with you than struggle to read Owen's chicken scratch." Jack shrugged. "Then I got there and you guys were done and kicking back relaxing. You looked so cute relaxing with your little old man posse I couldn't wait to have you all to myself. Of course, I didn't expect Tosh to be zapped and deciding to stay in the Hub or for you to be zapped and turning into a horndog."

"Sometimes I think you are only interested in me for the sex," Ianto said lightly, but feeling a pang in his chest.

"Only sometimes?" Jack smiled and the pang lessened.

"Then I remember you also like my coffee. I'll just get you a warm up," Ianto said bending and leaning unnecessarily to reach Jack's mug. "Meet you in the lab."

Ianto didn't bring a coffee for Tosh. He remembered how he'd felt energized in jail. He had written it off as adrenalin and fear, but now that he knew about the side effects of the strange energy he could only compare Tosh's liveliness to his. It wasn't hard to guess the reason his elderly poker chums had looked so lively wasn't just from the change in routine.

Tosh was showing Jack something attached to the containment box. Ianto handed a mug to Jack.

"Can I get you a decaf or a cup of herbal tea?" Ianto was pleased by the look of disgust on Tosh's face. He had successfully spoiled her for all substitutes.

"I'll pass," she said. "I was just showing Jack that even through the containment box, the original item, the candle holder, is expending more energy. The energy on the secondary items like the candle and that lighter is dissipating, but at different levels. I think it isn't just a matter of proximity, but the materials."

"How do we know the candle holder is the original item," Ianto asked.

"The metal is definitely alien. It seems to convert kinds of energy and radiation to the alien energy we've experienced. I don't think it is an alien décor accent piece. I think it's part of the engine for a spacecraft or something that requires this unique energy to run. Pure speculation, but whoever made it needed a way to convert background radiation and unknown energy sources to something more usable. This is part of a larger device. It doesn't do a very efficient job of collecting energy and a terrible job of storing it, but it does convert energy well."

"So it converts energy into alien energy, but since it isn't connected to anything it bleeds the new energy into whatever is handy," Jack said.

"That's my guess. Metal seems to hold the energy better, but here's the interesting thing. The candle is made of soy. It holds some energy, but mainly it acts as a conduit. The lighter is steel. Instead of just holding energy, it's been changed on a molecular level. It's begun acting as a converter as well."

"How is that possible," Ianto asked.

"I'm not sure, but it pulled in residual Rift energy, which seems to be the original devices preference, converted it, and held it for a while. It isn't a very good container either. So far, it looks like it automatically loses about 12% of the energy as it converts it. Another 20% is lost as it sits. Once the lighter reaches its peak containment, it dumps out most of the remaining energy and starts over. It isn't dramatically different, but it is drawing in less energy than it was when I first put it in the containment case. My supposition is that the longer it is away from the original device the more it reverts back to its normal state.

"I'm estimating that the last time it expelled the energy en masse was when it was in Ianto's pocket, hence his extreme reaction."

"But it is safe," Jack asked before Ianto could.

"Yes. It seems to be. It dissipates faster in organic substances like the candle and even faster in living substances like Ianto and me. I'd need Owen to verify, but the human body seems to take the energy and use it, not necessarily store it. For me, it seeped in through my hands. I'm not sure what the actual chemicals are, but looking at it from as objective a view as I can, it felt like an adrenalin rush."

"That's what it felt like when I was in jail." They looked at Ianto. "I thought it was adrenalin and the excitement of being arrested, but I was wide awake. We all seemed like we'd had too much caffeine and sugar," he explained.

"Ok, so it went off with a massive dose in Ianto's pocket and that stimulated testosterone production resulting in Ianto's primal urges," Jack elaborated.

"That's my guess, but..."

"But you'd need Owen to be sure," Jack interrupted. Tosh nodded. "I think we've officially reached the point where I've lost sympathy for him. Ianto, track Owen down. Toshiko, good work. How are you feeling?"

"Hungry," she answered, "and I suspect I will be very tired in about an hour."

"In that case, these things aren't going anywhere. Why don't you go home, get a nice dinner, and a long nap," Jack said patting her back. "I'll call you if anything comes up."

Toshiko smiled and started checking the monitors on the containment cases. Apparently satisfied, she left.

"I'll try calling Owen again," Ianto said turning to follow.

"Tell him to come in early tomorrow." Ianto turned back to Jack and raised an eyebrow. "It's safe enough for tonight. We should take advantage of any residual effects while we can," Jack said as if he was talking about switching to a more sensible mobile plan.

"Purely for research," Ianto said. Jack nodded. "It's scientific." Ianto pulled out his phone and hit a speed dial number. It went straight to voice mail. "Owen, we have an issue that requires a medical consult. Be in at 7...no, 8 am. Jack is furious. I'm just warning you, mate," he said imitating Owen. He ended the call.

Jack smiled. Ianto rapidly closed the distance between them and grabbed Jack with one hand on his head and the other on his hip. He wiped the smile off Jack's face with his mouth. He ground their pelvises together. Jack pushed him back.

"Are you sure it's you and not the alien energy doing this," Jack asked panting for air.

"Yep," Ianto said kissing Jack again.

"Are you really sure," Jack asked making eye contact. Ianto grabbed his hand and started to lead him back to his office.

"Yes, Jack. I want you, now, and I still don't care how." He paused and looked at Jack. "But not on a table. Anything, anywhere, but not on a table."

"Race you to my bunk," Jack said before running out of the room. Ianto quickly followed not really caring if he won the race as long as he came in a close second.