I own nothing. I don't own any of the characters.
"I. Want. Him. Dead!" The words echoed throughout the poorly light warehouse. They were not shouted, but they carried an air of authority and power.
Munch, munch, munch.
A man dressed in a green outfit was standing in the shadows as he talked to three other men. Two of the men were wearing black uniforms and standing at attention on either side of the third man. They both had machine guns across their chests, so they could be brought to use in a moment's notice. The third man was sitting in a chair, and eating on a bag of popcorn. The poor light hid as much of his features as it hid the man who was talking to them.
Munch, munch, munch.
"This, Cape, has been a thorn in my side for long enough. I've sent people who were supposed to be the best at solving problems after him, and they failed. What makes you think that you can take The Cape down?"
Munch, munch, munch.
"Are you even paying attention to me?" This time the man did shout.
Munch, munch, munch.
"Could I bother you guys for a glass of water? And when's the intermission? I really have to go to the bathroom."
"This is not a show for your personal amusement."
"That would explain the lack of me laughing. So if I wasn't brought down here to watch some bad soap opera, why was I brought here? I'm more of a Golden Girls fan anyways."
"Wasn't it explained to you why I asked for you to meet with me?"
"It might have been, but I was a little preoccupied with not dying at the time. The only thing I really recall was an invitation to Chess. At first I wasn't going to come, but then I remembered that Bobby Fischer movie and thought I might see him and cash in on finding him."
Munch, munch, munch.
Oh tell the truth, you were on the can because of a chimichanga and let a bad one rip right as they were telling you the why.
You could have at least light a match when you were done. Poor Weasel almost passed out.
"He would have been in a bad way if he had, cause I wouldn't have given him mouth to mouth." The two men standing at his sides hadn't so much as bat an eye when the man sitting in the chair had asked to pop his popcorn, but now they couldn't help but look down at him and wonder who he was talking to.
Munch, munch, munch.
"Are you alright? Are you sure this is the man you claimed could take down The Cape where others had failed?" The statuesque man on the left, twitched slightly.
"Yes sir. This man was highly acclaimed."
"But is this the right man? Is this the Deadpool I've been hearing stories of?"
"I told you over the phone that my name is Deadpool."
Munch, munch, munch.
Maybe he is hard of hearing. I've been telling you that we need to learn sign language!
Maybe he's just stupid?
Munch, munch, munch.
"Do either of you remember that conversation?" One of the men standing guard over him was about to answer, "I wasn't talking to you."
I think they said something about a job.
And we all agree that they mentioned Chess
"Was the job to play a game of chess?"
Oh I hope it's against a monkey. That would be fun.
I don't. I'd rather not have to try and live down losing that match.
Munch, munch, munch.
"Who are you talking to?" The man in green lost his temper and walked from the shadows into the little light that was available. He was also wearing a green mask. His eyes were white with pupils that looked like chess pieces, a knight and a rook to be specific. He was the infamous villain who went by the moniker Chess.
"Hey I know you! You're Pawn! Now I remember the job. I was called in to liquidate a person called The Cape."
"The name is Chess. You are obviously not the person I was led to believe. You may deal with him and dispose of the body." Chess had regained his composure. He didn't understand what it was about this person sitting in the chair, but he seemed to have a knack for getting under his skin.
Munch, munch, munch.
The two men in black uniforms turned on the man sitting in the chair, but he was no longer there.
Munch, munch, munch.
The sound of the man, who called himself Deadpool, chewing on the popcorn was echoing around in the warehouse. It didn't make any sense to the two men. How could anyone get up from that chair without them seeing him do so?
Munch, munch, munch.
Then the munching and crunching stopped.
That was a great idea. To stop eating the popcorn before they started looking for where the sound was coming from.
But I'm still hungry.
"I think I still have a chimichanga in my belt."
You shouldn't have said that.
"Why?"
Look down. They heard you.
The two men were looking up into the rafters. They couldn't really see the man, but they heard his voice come from there. They were working with minimum light as it was. The area around the warehouse wasn't abandoned, not exactly anyways. Homeless people used the ones that were not in use for shelter. They had to kick three bums out before they could start the meeting. A few of the other warehouses were still in use, and that meant that rent a cops would be looking in on anything that seemed out of the ordinary. And hobos with flashlights, is on that list.
Unfortunately for Deadpool, the two men had been giving permission to throw out all precautions when they were told to kill him. They opened fire. They didn't care if any security guards heard and investigated. It was the job of these uniformed men to eliminate anyone who might identify their boss. Especially since he was supposed to be dead.
You better keep moving.
Maybe this is some kind of audition.
"I hate auditions. I mean I did save the whole universe, I have a win against Captain America, and a winning personality."
If this is an audition, should we kill the two guys or just incapacitate them?
Kill them. I mean it would also prove that Pawn needs better right hand men, right?
"But ain't we doing that whole Superhero gig? I know that killing them would definitely be against that code."
This time the voice came from behind the men. They couldn't wrap their heads around how this man was moving from place to place almost as if by magic.
They turned to where they believed the voice was coming from, and this time they turned on the lights that were on their guns. The man was standing right where they thought he would be. Their lights showed them their first look of the man they had been guarding.
He was wearing a skin tight outfit that was mostly red. It had black down the sides and on the eyes of the face mask. They didn't notice the face mask before. How was he eating the popcorn? Well they were not paid to ask questions. Again they opened fire, but this time they could see him and had him sighted.
After firing off the last of their clips to be sure the dead was done, the two men looked at their handy work. The first half of their job was done, and now was time for the second part. They had to dispose of the corps. They didn't need questions that another cop with a hero complex would have to look for the answers to. They again focused on the area where the man had been. The popcorn bowl was on the floor, with the popcorn spilled out, but there was no body. The man wasn't there.
"Looks like you missed boys." It was the man's voice again.
Maybe they want you to give them shooting lessons.
I still think they want you to find Bobby Fischer. Pawn probably feels lonely.
Deadpool didn't give the two men time to turn around this time. He quickly unsheathed the two swords he keeps on him when he's out on a job or doing his grocery shopping which has been the same thing a few times, and used the hilts to whack the guys in the back of the head.
"Well that was easy."
Too easy.
Hey, that's my line. I think it is anyways.
"Maybe they just suck that much."
Or we're that bad ass.
Wasn't that a line from a movie?
"I think it was from "Shoot Em UP". I loved the doorknobs in that movie."
The sound of clapping hands filled the warehouse. The green suited and green masked man walked toward the man known as Deadpool. "I must say, that was exquisite. I don't see how you did what you did, but the ends justify the means at any point."
"Sure. Look, Pawn, I don't want to sound like I don't care or anything, but you ordered them to kill me." Deadpool's face may have been covered by the mask to hide the look of pure hatred, but the tone in his voice had definitely taken a darker tone.
"I don't know how you do things where you come from Mr. Deadpool, but around here, you don't kill the person who's offering to pay you a half million dollars for killing one person."
Did he just say a half million dollars?
Yeah he did. Do you have any idea how many chimichangas, Cheez-its, and beer that could buy?
"I don't really need the money. I still got plenty from the last job I did for A.I.M."
You spent that on a blu ray player, a PS3, a HD TV, and to have Weasel convert your DVD collection of Golden Girls into blu ray.
I still don't know why you bought a PS3 and a blu ray player. They do the same thing.
"It's so I don't have to get up and change the disk just because I want to watch an episode of The Golden Girls but have a game in the system."
"I'm afraid that I must make two mandatory requests after meeting you."
Great. Here comes the part where he puts an obstacle in our path, and if we can't jump it we don't get paid.
Surely he wouldn't do something like that.
"And just what are those two things?"
"First off, my name is Chess, and second, who are you talking to?"
Does he mean us?
Probably. I tend to forget that only readers know about us.
"I'm talking to myself."
"Interesting. Now go find The Cape and kill him."
"Hold on there. I don't find the targets. I'm not a bounty hunter. That's kinda why I call them targets. I can see them and point my gun at them. Otherwise I would call them pray, and I don't know about you but I don't think I look like Kraven."
"For half a million dollars, I would think you could make an exception." The man in the green suite didn't raise his voice, but it was clear that he was irritated.
"Sorry, but call me when you know where he might be. That's something I can work with."
"Good. Because I know that he's in this city."
Did he just use our words against us?
Yeah. Looks like you are going to have to find a way to smoke this guy out now.
"But that's not what I meant. You're just using your brain to outsmart me."
"It doesn't seem to be that difficult a challenge."
Now we have to do this just to shut him up.
And we need the money.
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