A/N: Two hundred readers have successfully made it through the first 15 chapters! I applaud your tenacity!

If you are enjoying this story, you might enjoy Village-Mystic's "Ianto's Jaunty Daydreams" for her take on what Ianto was thinking in chapter 13 and what he and Jack got up to that evening!

Chapter 16 – Minding Somebody Else's Business

Ianto and Jack were sharing a second cup of coffee in Jack's office when they heard the entrance alarm. Ianto picked up a clipboard and Jack held a pen over a report.

"I need it taken care of," Jack said winking at Ianto.

"I'll do the best I can, sir," Ianto said giving Jack his poutiest smile. He stopped when he heard Owen walking on the metal walkway.

"Make sure you do," Jack said sounding serious.

They both looked up at Owen as he knocked on the door frame. Ianto noted it was 8:22. He was quietly pleased his calculation was so close.

"Anything else, sir?" Ianto kept his face emotionless, but inside he was laughing. He loved sharing in-jokes with Jack. They'd have a good laugh about this later.

"No, but don't go far. Owen's going to have to examine you once I'm done with him." Jack slapped his pen on his desk.

Ianto stood and faced Owen. He mouthed "good luck" as he passed him.

"Close the door," Jack called after him.

Ianto gave a little bow and closed the door. He heard Jack yell something. He let himself smile as he headed to check Myfawny's water dish.

Fifteen minutes later, Ianto heard Jack bellow his name. He scurried down to the main level of the Hub. Owen and Jack were waiting for him. Ianto noted Owen's posture was stiff yet slumped. He hoped the medic wouldn't take his bollocking out on him.

"I'm sorry I wasn't available when you were looking for me yesterday, Ianto," Owen said without any enthusiasm. "It was very unprofessional of me," he said more convincingly. "Come on down and I'll give you a full exam."

"Apology accepted," Ianto said. "I checked earlier. No sign of the alien energy."

"Yeah, but who knows what that stuff did to you or what kind of side effects you might still experience. Come on," Owen said grabbing Ianto's arm and leading him to the Autopsy area.

Ianto looked back at Jack who was slowly following them. He was smirking. Ianto narrowed his eyes at him and Jack feigned being hit in the heart.

"This really isn't necessary," Ianto said following Owen down the stairs. Jack stayed on the upper level, but leaned over the railings.

"Wish that was true, Tea Boy, but you have a history of not being forthcoming with problems," Owen covered the autopsy table with a sheet.

Ianto's eyes narrowed at the sound of Owen's nickname for him. He pushed down the urge to say 'I'm Ianto 'Jaunty' Jones and I'm more than just the fucking Tea Boy!' He knew it would only spur Owen on to call him something more demeaning like Coffee Kid or more dismissive like Eye Candy. He'd hate that.

"He's right, Ianto," Jack said smugly. "You are terrible about admitting when you are in pain. Owen will whine about being uncomfortable at the drop of a hat, but you've walked around with broken ribs not even letting us see you grimace."

"So you want to see me grimace," Ianto asked putting his hands on his hips in indignation.

"No, but we want to see you healthy," Owen said. "Kit off then up on the table." Owen put on his lab coat.

"Excuse me?" Ianto was sure he misheard.

"We want to see you naked," Jack said. "You can grimace while naked if it makes you feel better."

"I'm giving you a full examination. Didn't that energy affect your wedding tackle? I'd think you'd want a doctor to take a look to make sure Thunderbirds are go," Owen said setting a needle and vials on a surgical tray.

Ianto grudgingly removed his tie.

"Take it off," Jack said putting his hands around his mouth like a megaphone.

"There's a cover charge and a two drink minimal to see the Tea Boy strip," Owen said sarcastically.

"Who do I pay," Jack said rubbing his hands together.

"Captain Harkness," Owen said testily, "I'm sure you would love the opportunity to ogle young Jones here in the altogether, but why don't you do something helpful like keep an eye out for Tosh and Gwen so they don't accidentally stumble down here and go blind?"

"I can hear them from here," Jack said playfully. Ianto gave him a pleading look. "I do have some requisitions to go over. Don't hesitate to call me if you need help or a witness. Don't worry, Ianto. I'm sure Owen will be gentle."

Jack finally walked away and Ianto took off his jacket. Owen jogged up the steps and then came back down.

"Okay, he's in his office. It's safe to take your clothes off."

Ianto gave Owen a confused look as he started undoing his cuffs. He didn't want to undress in front of both Owen and Jack, but it wasn't a safety issue. He just didn't want his recreational life colliding with his medical exam which was directly linked to his professional life. He didn't want Jack to see him naked later and think about the autopsy table and Owen. He certainly didn't want to risk responding to Jack leering with Owen watching.

"I know you can handle Jack's flirting. Honestly, I'm impressed with how well you let it roll off your back, but I've noticed lately Jack's got a little more frisky," Owen said.

"Frisky?" Ianto did not want to have this conversation with Owen, but he couldn't keep from saying it.

"Literally. The other day when he grabbed your waist and Gwen thought he was going to frisk you, I thought he was going to molest you right there! Don't tell me you haven't noticed because you notice everything. Jack's innuendo has reached new levels. He looks at you like you're an oasis and he's dying of thirst. He's always been Mr. Touchy Feely, but it's almost like he can't keep his hands off you." Owen crossed his arms. "You can tell him to knock it off. This isn't like a proper job, but you can tell the boss not to grope you or talk about your arse."

Ianto was amused by the contrast between Owen and Gwen. He wondered what it said about them that Gwen thought Ianto was a lovesick idiot and Owen thought Jack was a sex crazed maniac. He was also very curious about what Jack might have said about his arse.

"It's okay, Owen," Ianto said pulling his trousers off carefully over his shoes.

"It's probably best to nip it in the bud, mate. Jack's trying to show you how much he likes having you on the team. He just doesn't realize that it comes across the way it does," Owen said putting on a pair of gloves.

"I don't mind, really, I don't. I think it's better to be objectified than ignored."

"You need to go out and get laid. Maybe one of your new friends has a hot nurse or something."

Ianto weighed how much he wanted to say. In truth, he didn't want to say anything, but he felt he had to.

"I like the attention." He tried to make eye contact, but Owen closed his eyes and shook his head. "From Jack," Ianto added. "Don't you get any funny ideas!"

"Gwen called it," he said. "She said you had a thing for Jack. Do you know how screwed up that is?"

"Yep," Ianto said without needing to think about it. It didn't matter if he was referring to Gwen gossiping about him or about his relationship with Jack. 'Screwed up' covered it.

"Let's get on with this before I decide you need a psych consult," Owen said grumpily shaking his head again.

After being poked, pricked, prodded, and scanned, Owen announced barring anything abnormal showing up in the bloodwork, Ianto was physically fine, but mentally the jury was still out and he still had a terminal case of poncey wankerism.

"You couldn't call me over to tell me that two minutes ago," Jack said gesturing at Ianto who was finishing buttoning his shirt. "I guess I'll have to watch the rerun on CCTV."

Before Owen could reply, the alarm sounded and the cog door rolled open. Tosh went straight to see what Jack was looking at in Autopsy.

"Feeling better," Tosh asked smiling wider than usual.

"Completely back to normal," Ianto said smiling back.

"Now it's Tosh's turn," Jack said putting an arm around Tosh. "Give her the works, Owen."

"That won't be necessary," Tosh said firmly.

"Oh no", Ianto said marching up the stairs. "If I have to tolerate Owen then so do you. Pretend he's McDreamy or McSteamy." Ianto looked back at Owen. "Or Quincy." He turned back to Tosh and they had a heated conversation using only their eyes and a subtle jerk of the head. Ianto apparently won.

"Fine, but it's a waste of time. Ianto received a much higher dose of the energy than I did," she said trudging down the stairs.

"Better safe than contaminated," Ianto said bending over the railing next to Jack.

"Oi! Do I have to go through the whole privacy speech again?" Owen looked from Jack to Ianto and back. Ianto straightened and held his hands up. Jack put his hands in his pockets and turned away.

"I guess I could work on those requisitions," Jack said.

"Yep. I need to call about last month's UFO sightings," Ianto said following Jack as he walked towards his office. Jack turned and winked at Ianto before going into his office. In spite of the living temptation that was Jack Harkness, Ianto managed to smile back and continued on his way to Reception.

"Good morning," Ianto said as they mirrored each other's movements making it impossible for Gwen to get out of the elevator and for him to get in. He stood aside and bowed gesturing for her to go first.

"Morning, can I get a coffee, Ianto?"

No, Ianto thought, you can get the hell out of the lift though.

"Sure," he actually said. He turned back the way he came. "Jack's in his office. He can fill you in on the latest. We had a bit of excitement yesterday." Hot, sweaty, passionate excitement, Ianto mentally added. "I'll bring your coffee." He smiled old reliable, servile patience no. 2.

Gwen smiled back and all but ran to Jack's office. Ianto gracefully crossed the Hub deliberately providing a counterpoint to what he thought of as Gwen's clomping. He knew he was being petty, but there was something about her that brought it out in him. Feeling guilty, he made the coffee and dropped it off without another word. He went to his office, but kept the Tourist Office door locked, and caught up on some of his work.

Ianto came out of his office when he heard the hidden door pop open. He leaned against the door frame and a few of the strands of his beaded curtain trailed in front of him. Jack was the first one through the door and he gave Ianto a long appreciative look up and down. Ianto was glad Owen hadn't seen that look! It put Jack's casual, flirtatious glances to shame.

"Move it, Harkness," Owen said and Jack came into the Tourist Office quickly followed by Owen and Gwen.

"Ianto! Grab your coat," Jack said boisterously. "One of the signals Tosh was tracking is moving.

Ianto struggled to not groan out loud. He didn't like field work. He tried to muster up some enthusiasm for Jack's sake, but he'd had enough terror and adrenalin to last him a lifetime. His biggest fear was freezing and causing one of the team to be injured. In spite of Tosh's assurances, he still felt he'd let her down with the cannibals. Ianto didn't let any of that show on his face. He simply nodded and grabbed his coat.

It can never be easy, Ianto thought as they drove towards the signal. It wasn't far away, but the problem was pinpointing it. The equipment Tosh was using remotely wasn't specifically designed to track the newly discovered energy type. The best they could do was a five block radius. They had hand scanners that didn't have a very large range, but would be able to help them narrow things down once they were on foot. In theory.

In actuality, they knew the signal had moved in a generally Northern direction, but very little else. They didn't even know the exact origin point. It was easy for Tosh to match the fading energy signatures to known locations like the original house and Dylan's Barber Shop, but pinning down the signal that was still growing and now moving was a different story.

The four of them stood on the sidewalk looking at the two scanners. Jack made a few adjustments, but it didn't seem to help.

"Okay, well we can go that way," Jack said pointing to his left, "or that way," he said pointing to the right. "Looks like we split up. Ianto with me. We'll go left." He handed a scanner to Owen. Owen handed it to Gwen.

"Why not have Ianto and Gwen go left. We can go right," Owen said. Jack raised his eyebrows.

"Yeah, that sounds good," Gwen said grabbing Ianto's arm. "Ianto and I never get to spend time together."

Ianto looked desperately at Jack. This was not the time for Jack to lead via democracy. Ianto had the distinct impression he was being set up for something unpleasant.

"And it will give us a chance to talk about some ideas I have for updating our medical equipment."

"Fine," Jack said after a long pause pulling the second scanner out of Ianto's hands carefully perhaps lingering a little too long. "Keep your eyes open. We don't know what this thing is." Ianto and Jack exchanged a brief look and the two pairs went in their separate directions.

After the first block, Ianto decided it wasn't so bad. It helped, he reckoned, that he assumed it would be horrific, painful, and possibly nauseating. Instead, he showed Gwen how to use the scanner and walked next to her occasionally looking at the display.

That changed during the second block.

"So Ianto," Gwen began slowly, "I wanted to have a word. Well, several words."

Damn. It. To. Hell. Ianto tolerantly smiled.

"I know everyone thinks it's cute you have new friends, but even aged criminals are still criminals."

Ianto was relieved it wasn't about Jack, but he was offended by her tone.

"They are nice, older gentlemen with checkered pasts," he said. He didn't think it was any of her concern.

"Checkered pasts? That's naïve even for you."

Ianto shoved a fist in his pocket. He didn't think of himself as the type of man who would hit a woman, but he was having all kinds of personal revelations lately.

"I looked them up and these guys did a lot of bad things. Just because they aren't behind bars doesn't mean that isn't where they belong. They committed serious crimes!"

"Sure," Ianto said calmly. "I don't know if Tom even remembers how many people he's killed. Dylan still takes bets from a select clientele. Mick and Dave had this petrol scam that was brilliant! Ice Cream got his name because he had this walk in freezer..."

"Ianto!" Gwen cut Ianto off and stopped walking. "Would you listen to yourself? You sound like you respect them! Don't you realize how cruel these people are?"

Echoes of his conversation with Jack about Theo, one of Torchwood's more colorful past employees, resounded through his mind.

"I like them, not what they did. I can't go back and stop them from killing someone or undo a protection scam."

"If you honestly believe they aren't those people anymore..."

"No," Ianto interrupted, "I know they are those people. If Tom could, he'd accept a contract right now. If it wasn't for Mick's arthritis, he'd up to all kinds of mischief. And I'm pretty sure Ice Cream still owns that freezer. They aren't perfect by a long shot, but they like me. They accept me. I return the favor."

Gwen shook her head, but didn't comment. She seemed to be steeling herself for something else.

"I know you are reaching out to them because you are lonely." She gave him one of her sympathetic smiles that reminded him of a Disney villain. "I also know that's why you are reaching out to Jack."

There it was, he thought. He knew it would eventually swing around to being about Jack and what Gwen thought was the way the world was supposed to be.

"I don't want to discuss it, Gwen," Ianto said emphatically. Gwen grabbed his arm.

"I know Jack's lonely, too. That's why you need to be careful. I think it's great he's been able to forgive you and you've come to understand his point of view. It's created a kind of connection, yeah? It might feel like you have a special bond, but it's just loneliness and understanding." She pat Ianto's arm.

"I haven't a clue why you are telling me this or why you think I should care about your opinion," Ianto said smiling back and removing her hand.

"Because I'm your friend and I don't want your infatuation to lead to heartache." Before Ianto could object she continued. "Owen told me you admitted you like Jack. I think it's only a matter of time before things get out of hand."

"Out of hand," Ianto repeated skeptically.

"I'm telling you this because I see a pattern forming, Ianto. You put people up on a pedestal. Lisa, Jack, Dylan, Tom..."

"Dave," Ianto said.

"Dave," Gwen said adding him to her list. "You can't..."

"No," Ianto said interrupting her again and looking at the scanner. He pointing in front of him and waved. "It's Dave."

The elderly man waved back and continued walking towards them with an evident spring in his step.