Chapter 8: Worries and Secrets
"Talk about what?"
"Nate, I think we need to talk about us."
"Luke, what's wrong?" He asked sensing the concern in my voice and emulating it in his.
"I've got some things on my mind and the only way to deal with them is to talk with you and figure them out."
"Okay. I can do that."
"Good." I said, sitting down on the couch. I looked around the room and somehow found it unsuitable for this conversation. I got up and walked to the bedroom without so much as looking at Nathan. The thoughts were running through my mind and became unsettled because I didn't know how Nathan was going to respond to the questions and even worse how he was going to answer them. I fell onto the bed and wrapped the comforter around me. I stared at the wall, never realizing that Nathan stood in the doorway. He walked to me and kneeled on the floor next to where I sat.
"Luke, baby, I need to know what's wrong. You're scaring me now. You are allowing yourself to become controlled by these thoughts and now I feel like you're distancing yourself from me. After everything that has happened that is the last thing that I would want to happen."
I locked eyes with him as he spoke and felt chills wash over my body. "Do you love me, Nate?" I asked barely audible.
"Absolutely, Luke. I love you with all of my heart. Is that what has been bothering you?"
"Yes and no. I needed to know that you love me Nathan. I didn't want recent events to come between us because I don't think that I could handle it."
"You mean the HCM and stuff?"
"Yeah, I thought that you would stop loving me because I was weak."
"Lucas you are not now nor have you ever been weak. You are so strong. Strong enough to pull me out of a depression brought on by Haley dying and being left to raise my son alone. You are everything to me and James."
"Thank you Nate. That means everything to me to hear you say that."
"Better now?"
"Yeah" I smiled.
He grabbed my hands and forced me to look deep into his eyes. "You're lying to me, Luke. I know you far to well to be deceived by that smile of yours."
"Damn you Nathan Scott. I don't know how you did it but you figured me out. I have reservations concerning James." There I said it, but I didn't feel a weight lifted on my shoulders instead I felt more pressure.
"Lucas you are going to be by my side from now until forever. I will do whatever it takes to make you happy. James is my son and I know that you will do a great job with him. Hell, you already do. Why would you doubt that or yourself? Just because you are switching from uncle to dad doesn't change anything."
"You don't think it will be difficult for him? I don't want to cause emotional scars or anything."
"Emotional scars, Luke, you have been with him everyday since he was born. Will it be a change? Absolutely. However, with time it won't matter."
"God, I love you." I said wrapping my arms around him and nuzzling into the nape of his neck. His warmth penetrated my core and brought a single tear to my eyes.
"I love you, Luke." Nathan whispered in my ear. Hearing those four simple words caused me to melt in his arms and mold myself into his body.
Our attention was soon broken as someone banged heavily on the front door. I gave Nathan a quizzical look and saw him flash me one back. At least it wasn't another of those surprises. I hate surprises. I stood up from where I was sitting on the bed when Nathan put his hand on my chest and pushed me back down. He shot me a glance and I knew that he would get the door and I would wait. And I did. I waited and waited and waited. I must have sat there for ten minutes waiting for Nathan to come back. I leapt from the bed fuming and walked to the door. I could hear whispers through the door and pressed my ear against it to hear what was being said. Unfortunately, the whispers were undecipherable. In an attempt to hear better, I cracked the door but was found out when the door let out a loud creak. I heard shuffling from the hallway and threw the door open. There stood Nathan looking sneaky. I walked toward him glancing into rooms and around the hallway.
"What's going on, Nathan?" I asked walking toward him.
"Nothing, why would you think that something was going on?" He said coyly.
"Nathan Royal Scott, do not toy with me. You're hiding something or someone." I said walking toward him. "I will make you talk."
"How?" He asked in a true to Nathan cocky way.
I ran my hand over his thigh and suddenly grabbed his crotch roughly yet passionately. He moaned instantly
"Unless you tell me right now, I am removing all sexual pleasure from your life. No sex of any sort. I will lock up all of the porn, I will child block the computer and force you to refrain from touching yourself."
His cheeks instantly blushed at my words. I watched closely as his eyes roamed the hallway, hoping to catch a glimpse of where someone was hiding. I walked back toward our bedroom and passed by our bathroom closet. As I walked passed it I heard fits of laughter. I quickly turned around and saw the bathroom closet door ajar and Nathan laughing hysterically. I thrust the door the rest of the way open and saw Brooke and James peeking through making funny faces. I was mortified. Here I was making sexual advances towards Nathan while his son watched. I felt my cheeks burn and looked embarrassed.
"Luke…hi." Brooke said looking guilty.
"Well, well, well, Brooklyn Penelope Adams. Why are you hiding in our closet?" I inquired.
"Just came over to see my best friends because I am bursting at the seams with a secret."
"Oh a secret, huh?" I said as Nathan wrapped his arm around my waist with one arm and rustling James' hair with the other. "So what is it?"