For some reason this file keeps being altered by FF. If you see any formatting problems let me know and I'll try to fix them. Some issues might be from my workarounds. *grr grumble grrr*

Chapter 23 – Drunk Talk

Ianto knew he had too much to drink. He was also well aware it was only 4 pm. Everyone who had bought him a drink before he'd gone outside with Dave's son insisted on buying him another when he returned. Paul, who explained how thankful he was to not have a fight inside his pub, was also intent to make sure Ianto didn't go without a drink in his hand. Not wanting to be rude and feeling the need for a stiff drink or twelve, Ianto had smiled politely and accepted each drink. Ianto couldn't remember when he'd drank so much. Probably, he reasoned, not since his suspension after Lisa…He quickly downed the drink in his hand.

By 5, Ianto was aware of a few things he didn't like. His lips were numb. At first this was a good thing since his split lip had stung, but now it was aggravating. He felt like he was mumbling when he talked. He'd been told enough by Rhiannon that he mumbled that he tended to be self-conscious of it. Even Jack had told him he mumbled, but on at least one of those occasions some parts of Jack's anatomy didn't seem to mind at all.

That was another thing he didn't like at that moment. After a few rounds, Rick had told part of their altercation to the group at large. While he didn't mention crying, he did mention mistaken "that American" for Ianto's boyfriend instead of his boss. This won a lot of laughs that Ianto didn't feel like joining in. It also made him yearn to be near Jack. That, he decided, was bad. He shouldn't want to be in the same room as Jack so badly, but he did.

He also didn't like the way people were looking and nodding vaguely in his direction. He was sure it was paranoia or the effect of brawling with the deceased's next of kin, but it still irked him. Paul came over with another beer for Ianto and he watched a look pass between Paul and Mick. He was sure it had something to do with him.

Finally, he didn't like being talked about like he wasn't there. It happened to him all the time. It always annoyed him, but he was so used to it he ignored the feeling. Now he was drunk enough the mental shield that kept him from stating his feelings was dangerously weak.

"You have no idea how lucky you are Jaunty is a gentleman," Tom said to Rick throwing a sidelong glance at Ianto who was sitting between them. "He's a dangerous man, probably more dangerous than I was in my prime, definitely more so than I was at his age. When you get back to your banker buddies on the golf course you can tell them how you tangled with the notorious Jaunty Jones and survived to tell the tale! Not many have been that lucky!"

"I'm sure Rick doesn't want to hear about me," Ianto said.

"Pshaw! You're too modest, that's your problem. I bet if Capo Jack was here he'd tell a tale or two! Probably best for you he isn't here, Rick," Tom elaborated. "He's a real tough guy and he's real protective of his crew. And he wouldn't take kindly to your assumptions! It sounds to me like Jack is what in my day we called an unrepentant pussy hound. He was even giving Jaunty tips on picking up ladies at the service! Hand to God! Sid said he was flirting up a storm with his granddaughter until she let it slip she fancies Jaunty."

"Sid doesn't have to worry," Ianto interrupted. "I'm not in the market and I'll have a word with Jack. He tends to flirt first and think later. He's apparently very charming. Poor Amy was probably flustered by his attention and only mentioned me to see if she could distract him."

"I'll have to break it to Amy," Tom said in a way that let Ianto realize how inebriated he was as well. "Jaunty's in mourning," he told Rick in a conspiratorially way that made everyone in the bar stop and listen at least to Ianto's mind. "That kind of misfortune shouldn't befall someone so young, but he carries himself well, doesn't he? Wouldn't it be amazing if Amy was still single when he starts dating again? They'd make a lovely couple."

"I'm really not interested," Ianto began thinking about how obnoxious Sid's granddaughter was. What did it say about him if people thought they made a good couple?

"Maybe not now, but one day, maybe even tomorrow, it'll sneak up on you and you'll wake up and decide you don't want to be alone any more. I never had it in me, but he's got that look of stability about him, eh Rick," Tom asked turning his attention back to Rick. "He'll make a great family man someday."

"I don't recommend bringing up children in your world," Rick said and Ianto immediately changed the topic before things could return to the gloom of earlier. He didn't want to get into another fight especially when he wasn't sure he could control himself.

Ianto slinked away to the restroom a few minutes later and was glad to be alone. He wasn't used to being around so many people for so long. Between that and the booze he was feeling drained. He wanted to be alone. Liar, he told himself. Tom was right. It had sneaked up on him and he had woke up and realized he didn't want to be alone anymore. More specifically, he wanted to be with Jack.

With that sentimental thought in mind, he pulled out his phone and sent Jack a text. Jack immediately replied.

"Mission earlier. Bored now. BORED!" Ianto smiled at the message.

"I'm drunk," Ianto messaged back deciding not to indulge in all the ways he'd keep Jack from being bored.

"And horny?" Ianto laughed. Jack was so predictable!

"I got in a fight," he wrote back instead of the dozen obscene messages that went through his mind.

"??? OK??" Ianto smiled again. He knew he could read the message a hundred different ways, but he preferred to think Jack was concerned for him as a lover. He liked thinking that.

"Fine – kiss make better?" Ianto hit send then immediately regretted it. He was even mumbling in his texts! It didn't help that it was soppy.

"YES! WHEN?" Ianto chuckled and quickly texted back he would grab a cab and head to the Hub.

Jack wrote back that he would join him at the Dragon. Before Ianto could discourage him, Jack wrote back they would then go back to Ianto's place where he would examine his injuries and kiss him head to toe to make sure he didn't miss any spots. Ianto marveled at how fast Jack could type when he wanted to. He then sent a message saying he already had his coat on and was running to the SUV. Ianto decided that sounded like a great plan.

"Hey Tom," Ianto said when he returned to the group, "Jack's coming by. I've had too much to drink to drive you and Dylan home. If you want, Jack could drive you home, too. He's a really horrible driver. Just warning," Ianto added hoping Tom would say no.

"It's early yet! You can't go now," Tom said picking up a spare drink that had been left for Ianto in his absence and handing it to him.

"Yeah, sit down," Rick insisted. Ianto sat down and sipped his drink. He hoped it wouldn't take long for Jack to get there.

Not long later, Ianto finished his drink and sat the empty glass on the table. He sat back and someone pressed another drink into his hand. He was about to object when he realized it was Jack. Paul followed behind him with a tray of drinks.

"Jack Harkness," he said shaking Rick's hand. "This round is on me."

Ianto was disappointed Jack had changed clothes back to his usual uniform. Jack pulled a chair over and sat across the table from Ianto and next to Mick. Paul handed out the drinks and saved one for himself. Jack lifted his glass. "To Dave! May he forever be surrounded by good friends, good drinks, and easy marks." There was a clink of glasses and everyone drank. "Now," Jack continued after putting his drink down, "who am I going to have to kill for bruising my Welshman?"

"It's barely a scratch," Ianto quickly said.

"I'm not asking you, Soldier," Jack said smiling dangerously.

"It was a little misunderstanding," Rick said holding his hands palms out in front of him. "We're ok now, right, Jaunty?"

"Absolutely," Ianto said.

"Did he jump you? He doesn't look like someone you pummeled nearly to death," Jack joked easing back into his chair.

"Bit of a sucker punch," Ianto said. "I got some decent body blows in," he added sounding like a child who wanted to make it clear he had hit as many bull's-eyes at the carnival as his friend.

"It still feels like you broke my ribs," Rick chimed in. "I have to keep drinking to keep the pain away."

"Well as long as there are no hard feelings, I suppose I'll have to accept it. So you're Dave's son? I'm sorry for your loss. I only met him a few times, but he left a definite impression. The first time I saw him, Ianto was lacing up one of Dave's shoes in jail! I wish I had a camera!"

"Tad was in jail? When was this?" Rick looked around the table daring each man to answer him.

"It was no big deal," Mick finally said. "We weren't even in 24 hours. They weren't after us. They were after Jaunty and Jack's crew."

"You got him arrested," Rick accused looking at Ianto.

"Not exactly," Ianto said.

"It wasn't Jaunty's fault," Ice Cream said setting his drink down. Ice Cream didn't speak much so everyone always listened when he did. This was no exception. "Being harassed by the police is a professional risk. If anything, it cheered us all up! It was fun!"

"The rush of being arrested – especially when you know they ain't got nothing on ya," Tom said holding up his drink.

"The look on the cops' faces as you walk out scot free," Dylan added.

"That thrill of walking out knowing they can't stop you," Ianto added.

"Not that I want to do it again," Tom said, "but if I'm ever arrested again I hope it's with you lot." Tom clinked his glass against Ianto's and they drank.

"You don't see anything wrong with it, do you," Rick said shaking his head. "You all make it sound like a team bonding exercise! There's nothing funny about being arrested!" Everyone was silent. Ianto didn't know what to say to make it better for Rick so he opted for an exit.

"I should probably get going," Ianto said pushing his almost empty glass away. "You ready, boss?"

"He's barely touched his drink, Jaunty," Mick exclaimed.

"It's just water," Jack said standing up. "It wouldn't do for the designated driver to get blitzed."

"Anybody need a ride," Ianto said looking back and forth between Tom and Dylan.

"Nah," Dylan said with an exaggerated gesture. "It's too early! We'll get a cab. Or you could stay! You're too young to leave so early!"

"Unfortunately," Jack interrupted, "I need Ianto sober and steady early tomorrow. We really should all get together some time when we aren't working and the circumstances are happier."

"You'll have to come to my anniversary party," Dylan said pointing at Jack. Jack pointed back.

"I wouldn't miss it for the world," Jack said. Ianto smiled knowing Jack enjoyed these moments of pretending they had normal lives. He shook away the dismal thought that the Rift was probably counting down the days to the party and would ensure Jack and Ianto would miss it.

They said their goodbyes and walked outside. Ianto's mind was already in his flat. He wished he wasn't so glad to be with Jack, but he was. He idly wondered when he let Jack consume his thoughts so completely.

"You can stay a little longer if you want," Jack said as they walked to the SUV.

"A little while," Ianto questioned.

"Don't read too much into this," Jack warned. "I like you having friends outside of Torchwood. I really do," Jack said stopping and giving Ianto a serious look Ianto usual associated with a life and death situation, "but I don't want you to spend all your downtime with them." Jack threw his arms up in the air. "There, I said it. I'm such a horrible, greedy man I can't even let you attend a friend's funeral without having to pop up and scream 'look at me'."

Ianto laughed. He didn't mean to, but the alcohol made his brain fuzzy and he couldn't help himself. He stopped when he saw the hurt look on Jack's face.

"Sorry, Jack," Ianto said stressing the use of the name, "but I have a hard time seeing you as insecure. It's especially funny since you know how much I like being with you. I'd sell my soul to have two hours added to each day just so I could spend them with you." They stood and stared at each other until Ianto began to sway dangerously in the breeze and had to stumble a step to stay upright. Jack chuckled the rest of the way to the SUV.

"What's so funny," Ianto asked falling into the passenger seat.

"You are," Jack said fastening his seatbelt for him. "You, my perfect, immaculate Ianto Jones, are drunk."

"And horny," Ianto said wiggling his eyebrows. Jack laughed again.

"And I am a very lucky man," Jack said starting the engine.