Sonic

Beer.

Let me tell ya; it's the best thing alive. Your best friend through the hardships, your cleanser of unbearable pain, your number one bud. Of course, it's a royal backstabber too, since too much of its company leads you to the toilet, much to Tails' dismay, but what else was I supposed to do? My heart was broken, my breath smelled like vomit and alcohol, and there just seemed to be nothing in the world to live for besides television and Bud Weiser.

"Dang it, Sonic!" Tails growled after another clean-up in the hallway. "Stop drinking!"

Of course, I didn't comply, instead launching another empty can to the living room floor. It was time to stock up, I realized as I glanced at the black plateau SL-TCS Square coffee table in front of me. Dragging my sorry arse to the kitchen, I yanked open the steel fridge and searched around.

...There. Was. No. BEER!

"TAILS!" I slammed the door shut, causing the entire kitchen to rattle from the impact. Tails was smart to modify his kitchen into a scientist's dream accommodation.

"What?" Tails groaned from the hallway.

"THERE'S NO MORE BEER!"

Tails then entered the canteen, a glare entrusted to his expression. He didn't need to give me that look. I'm the one who had been completely dumped by the love of my life. And did I mention the intense head ache I was having?

"So?" Tails asked in reply.

"So? You need to get some!"

He gave me a blank stare, then looked down at the plastic bag that contained my latest vomit. "You know what? It's a GOOD thing that there's no more beer! You're not having any more!"

My jaw dropped. "Excuse me?"

"I'm sick of this, Sonic! It's been a week of this crap, and enough is enough! Start acting like a freakin' man!"

He turned and headed to the self-invented garb-orator/garbage/recyclable, tossing the bag into it and pressing the button that makes it go into the sewers. (I had no idea how the thing worked; I just pushed the buttons.) He came back to me with a moist and frigid cloth and clapped it to my face.

"YEAOW!"

He grabbed my ear and literally hauled me to the grey three-seater Alma 2005 sofa that I dominated since getting dumped. He yanked me down to the couch and stood before me, fists on his hips, ready to give an intense lecture.

"Now, listen here, Sonic T. Hedgehog!" It was never a good thing when he used my full name. "You listen and you listen good! You've been a lazy butt for exactly one hundred-and-seventy hours, twenty-two minutes, seventeen seconds, and 20 mile-seconds, in counting! And I'm sick of it! You may have gotten seriously rejected, but laying around isn't going to accomplish anything!" Now he started pacing. "What you need to do is convince Amy of your affections, no matter how vague it may seem to we viewers on the outside."

It was because of this that I became more hopeful. Count on Tails to dissect things into better situations. "How do I do that?"

"For one," Tails continued, "you've gotta say those three words that you really don't wanna say because it'll "hurt your ego". Get over it! The very fact that you've gotten rejected hurts your image!"

Ouch.

"So, now we need to find ways to get her to know you love her. What was it that convinced you that she was madly in love with you?"

I thought about this for a moment, then chuckled, which was an action that seriously agonized my head. "She was always chasing me. She was always freaked out that I was dead or something. Always trying to get my attention. She cried for me. Baked me things. Followed me everywhere." I smiled, remembering the way she jumped in when I was tied hanging over a shark-infested pool. She had jumped right into the waters, smashing the shark behind her without even a glance, and hauling me out of there. She was pretty amazing when she wanted to be.

I frowned. "She hasn't been doing much of that lately, though."

"Obviously. She's matured. Mature people don't do kiddy things. Regardless of that fact, you can still tell of her affections for you. What was the key attribute that made you realize her affections in the beginning?"

I thought about it. "Her persistence."

Tails grinned. "Bingo."

If you wanna check out the grey three-seater Alma 2005 sofa that took me forever to find, go to Google and type three Alma 2005 sofa. It's the second picture in images.

Again, not the greatest chapter, but I guaruntee that it'll get better. Promise promise promise! Actually, I'm super excited to write the next chapters, cause they're just so awesome!

Thanks for reading!