Hey guys, I am soooooo sorry for the long wait. I had this story written but all of my notebooks were stolen. So I had to try to rewrite it and it is tough. But enough of my sob story. Please read and review.
Chapter 14: The Darkness
The darkness consumed by body and cut off my senses. Instead of the dark nothingness that I had faced before, this darkness had a higher sense of consciousness.
I was confused. One minute I was lying in bed with Nathan, exchanging words of love and the next I'm pushing him away as he points a gun to my head. Then in a blink of an eye, I watch him murder Dan.
A part of me wants to believe that Nathan knew what he was doing and that he had everything under control. But didn't he know that misleading Dan could have ended badly. And I know his argument, "But it didn't. I had to do something to keep you safe."
Usually his sense of overprotection was loveable, but this was downright stupid. Now that I think about it, his anger towards me seemed so real that I can't help but think that there are some unresolved issues there. But how do I confront him on that without making him think that I don't trust him. Trust is an important part of our relationship. Regardless of what Nathan and I have faced, we have always been trusting of each other. So right now, I need to trust in Nathan or it might not be worth waking up for. My life has not been easy…not that I think it should be, but the lies and torment has gotten to be a little much.
Closing my eyes, I try to calm myself down. My emotions are running wild and I can clearly see that my current tangent will only lead me down the contemplating suicide path. But I'll be damned if I go there today.
Clearing my mind, I open my eyes to find Nathan standing in front of me. Not real Nathan, because I haven't managed to wake up yet. Dream Nathan stands there smiling, his arms wide open welcoming me. I rush into him, my body molding against his just like it does every day. I'm warmed by his body heat and entranced by his natural scent.
Nathan rubbed circles on my lower back and I sobbed into his chest. "I'm sorry babe. I never should have put you in danger like that." He said trying to calm me down.
"You scared me Nate. I mean really scared me. I thought you were going to shoot me." I cried, my tears staining his shirt.
"I should have thought about it more. I should have taken your feelings into account. I'm so sorry Luke. I just…I just had to do something to keep you safe. You're my world. I didn't think I'd kill him but I did what I had to do to protect you and our children." I couldn't help but stare deep into his eyes as he explained his motives, his hands resting on my stomach.
"I love you for everything you've done Nathan."
Nathan lifted my chin, so that we were once staring into each other's eyes. "Lucas you are the love of my life and pretty soon you are going to give birth to my two beautiful sons. I would do whatever it takes to keep my family safe."
"I don't think you'll have to worry about that anymore." I gently kissed Nathan, feeling an extreme surge of love for this man.
"Good. Now I've got to go. But do me a favor and take everything in stride. And remember, I love you." He said as he unwrapped himself from me and walked away, disappearing into the darkness.
"Take what in stride? Nathan? Nathan?" I screamed after him. It hurt, it physically hurt to watch him leave. I dropped to my knees feeling as though I wouldn't see him again.
Again I found myself closing my eyes trying to get myself calmed down. I've never been such an emotional person. I've prided myself on being strong and levelheaded. Feeling my heart rate slow to a normal rhythm, and my breathing set, I opened my eyes.
This crazy death vision or whatever it is that I am stuck in is making me nauseous and irritable. Now instead of darkness, I see myself standing near a park bench just off the Rivercourt. A couple of teenagers had a game going on, the standard 2 on 2, skins versus shirts. Watching them reminded me of my days on this court with Skills, Fergie, Junk, and Mouth. These guys were in top form. They definitely had the offensive skills to really make their way up and down that court, but their defense had issues. It's a shame Whitey retired a couple years back because he'd have some great players.
Finishing the game, the shirts won and the guys began joking around. The worn basketball lay motionless at their feet.
"Lee, we gotta go. Our shift starts in an hour and we gotta shower." One of the brunette teens called as he walked towards a silver pick-up truck. I wasn't sure of which of the other three guys he was talking to until the only blonde in the group perked his head up.
Retorting to his friend, the blonde grabbed his bag and jogged to the truck. "I'm coming. I know how dad gets when we're late." Brothers…kind of reminded me of Nathan and myself. Although, we weren't on friendly terms at that age.
As the boys drove away, I couldn't help but feel an emotional tug. I tried to find the significance in this moment. I had to be here for a reason. Wondering what the significance was, the scene changed in a blink of an eye.
Now I found myself standing outside what used to be Keith's auto shop. The one Dan swindled him out of years ago. The sign still read "Scott's Auto". It warmed my heart to see it. Remembering the countless days I spent there fixing cars with Uncle Keith.
"Riley, let's go. Dad's gonna kill us." The blonde called after his darker haired brother as he ran toward the door.
I knew now that the raven-haired teen was Riley and the blonde was Lee.
The front door swung open and I heard a man call out to the teens, "Boys lets go. I have parts to pick up and I need you two to watch the shop." I couldn't see the man, but I assumed he was their father.
Feeling curious, I entered the storefront for the garage and found the teens donning dark blue mechanic shirts and manning the counter. I was relieved to see that little had changed as far as décor went.
Neither of the teens were aware of my presence and I had a gut feeling that I didn't exist in this time and space.
"What are we going to do for their anniversary, Lee?" Riley asked, watching his brother re-stock the motor oil.
Lee finished with the shelf he was working on and began rifling through papers on the counter. "Whatever it is it has to be big. Aunt Brooke and Uncle Chase are coming down from New York. Aunt Peyton and Uncle Jake are driving up from Savannah with Jenny and Miles. Even Jamie and Kylie will be here." My ears perked at the sound of unfamiliar names.
"How often do you hear about people making it to 18 years?"
"Hey Ri, look. Dad still keeps that picture of us here." Lee said, holding up a small photograph. From where I stood, I could only see the white backing.
"The one from when we were born." Riley asked, typing into the computer.
"Yeah. Come 'ere." Riley stopped what he was doing to look at the photograph.
"What?" Riley asked, looking at the snapshot.
"The look. They still look at each other like that. It can't be denied that our dads love each other."
I walked around to see the photograph and my hunch was confirmed. There in my arms were two beautiful babies. These two teens were the grown up versions of the babies I was currently carrying. And they had a point. The look that Nathan and I shared at that moment is the same look we give each other every time we look at one another.
Feeling arms slip around my waist, I nearly jumped out of my skin.
"Relax. It's just me." Nathan whispered in my ear. His breathe running over my ear, causing goose bumps. "I know life can get hard sometimes, but when I look at them. It all seems worth it."
Snuggling into Nathan's warm body, I took in his scent. "You're right. It is worth it." As the words left my lips, I watched the boys and the garage disappear into the darkness. Not shortly after that I felt Nathan fade out as well. Then I was left with the dark nothingness.
I could hear Nathan pleading with me, drops of water falling on my face. "C'mon Luke wake up. I need you babe. I can't do this without you."
Opening my eyes was hard, they felt heavy and try as I might, and they didn't budge. I thought about everything in my life worth living for. I thought about Nathan and Jamie and about wanting to watch my sons grow up. I focused, just like I did when I had my HCM attacks, and forced myself to open my eyes.
The room was dim but I could see Nathan clearly, sitting at bedside. His head hung low and I watched him place soft kiss to my hand. I shuffled my body back against the pillow, hoping that my action would catch his eye. His smile returned and he wiped the tears away with the back of his hand.
"I am so sorry Lu…" He said, pleading as much with his eyes as his words.
"Don't worry. You saved my life. I love you Nathan." I watched as Nathan left the chair and kiss me on the forehead.
"I love you Luke."