How It Started

Actually, it all started with the flu.

A couple weeks after the Popsicle incident, Addison woke up with a raw throat and nausea. She clambered onto Derek and whimpered trying to get his attention innocently.

"Addison!" He pushed her away. "You're too hot."

"I don't feel good." She took off her pajamas in order to release some of the heat from her body, leaving her in a bra and panties. "Could you get me some medicine?"

Derek sighed, "What's wrong?"

"It's the flu," she diagnosed.

"Well, what do you need medicine for?" He swung his legs off the bed.

"THE FLU," She groaned as if he was an idiot. She pressed her hand to her head and then to her stomach. She hated feeling like this.

Derek was not happy with her mood. "That's not what I meant. Like stuffy nose...sore throat...stomachache?"

"All of the above," She said.

Derek glanced at the clock before attending to her needs. "Adds, I have to leave in two hours for the hospital. Are you going to make it?"

"I don't know," was her best answer. They'd been trying to spend time together; Addison went with him everywhere. So she desperately wanted to go with him this morning. Mark wasn't speaking to her- she needed Derek's attention. She couldn't lose him anymore to the stress of his job. "I guess I could sleep in an on-call room."

"Actually," Derek thought better of it. "You'd better not go to the hospital with the flu. That's not very responsible. This thing spreads like crazy. Did you not get a flu shot?"

She ignored him, "Could you get me a glass of water or something?" Her eyes watered at the thought of having to spend the whole day sick in bed without anyone taking care of her.

Derek left, and when he came back he had a glass of water and a bag full of medicine. "I think I'm just going to take you to Mark's. He's got the day off."

"Oh, no." Addison sat up. "I feel better." She'd pretend to feel well at the prospect of having to see Mark after she'd left him heart-broken.

Derek felt the skin on her collar. "You're burning up. You have a fever."

"Yeah, I know," she said. Again, he was stating the obvious as if she wasn't a doctor herself. It infuriated her. "It'll break."

"You're sick," Derek said, even more obvious. "And things have been a little weird with Mark lately and I think this'll help."

"No!" She said, shocked. "I will not be a quick-fix band-aid to your relationship. This is not going to work. He's mad at me too."

"He can't be mad at you when you're sick," Derek smiled at the thought of his genius plan.

"You're abandoning me!" Again, she thought. This time was more blatant though and she didn't care to step around his feelings. She wasn't a nagging, annoying wife if she was sick. He was the jerk.

"You know I'd love to spend all day with you." He didn't sound sincere. "But I can't get sick, Addy. Mark'll take care of you." He glanced at her. "Could you put on some uglier underwear?"

She gasped and then shook her head. "No way," she refused. "If you're sending me to Mark, you're going to have to deal with the fact that he's going to see me like this." She tried to look her sexiest on the bed.

Derek stared at her for a second. "Okay." She gasped again and he laughed. "I think the flu is enough to keep him off your scorching hot body right now." He touched her and winced and pretended like it hurt and laughed.

"I think," She crawled up to him. "You are underestimating my powers of seduction."

"You don't need to be seducing Mark," he scolded her, "when you have a husband who will have sex with you as soon as you are better."

She crossed her arms and frowned. Their sex life had gotten better since she started spending less time with Mark, but it wasn't nearly where it used to be. Derek wasn't as interested. Sure, he said he loved her body, but she found it hard to believe when he started focusing on the fastest way to get off rather than on her.

"Just to be on the safe side...let's put your pajamas back on!" Derek smiled in an attempt to persuade her.

"No, they're too hot!" Her throat suddenly feeling worse after all the talking, she swallowed a few sips of water as he searched her pajama drawer. He found a silk nightgown that was to her knees and seemed acceptable.

She put in on, resigned to her fate, and Derek drove her to Mark's with her bag of medicine.

Mark awoke to a steady pounding on his door. He sat up and realized he had a splitting headache. "Coming," he yelled out hoarsely.

It was Derek, holding a bag, and Addison, who was watching the floor. Their eyes met momentarily and he felt the ache of how much he had missed her. After about a week, he was trying to suppress the feeling, but it all came flooding back to him.

Derek brought Addison in. "Hey, sorry we're here so early. But it's kind of an emergency. Addison thinks she's got the flu and I have to go to work and you don't have to work, right? So could she just sleep here for a bit until I get off?" He gave Mark the bag.

Mark's voice came out a little louder than a whisper. "I'm not feeling too well myself."

"Perfect." Derek said, a little too happy at the ailments of his wife and best friend "You probably have the same thing."

"Derek," Addison whispered, "We're being a burden."

"It's not problem," Mark said. He didn't know where that came from...just a gut instinct to have her near and alone with him.

Addison dismissed him with a shake of her head. Clearly she wasn't up to caring about etiquette or awkwardness. She just needed to rest.

"I'll see you soon," Derek tried to kiss Addison but she turned her face, which made Mark happy. "Feel better."

He left and she emitted a sound that was half-groan, half-sigh and buried her face in her hands. "I'm so sorry."

He could do nothing but wrap his arms around her. "I've missed you."

She scrunched tighter into herself. "I can't believe he's done this to me again."

She didn't understand. She couldn't see that nothing mattered anymore because they were alone and together. "Addison." He felt the heat radiate through her nightgown on her lower back. With a fever this high, he was surprised that she wasn't delusional. Or maybe she was. He pressed into her shoulder blades until he felt all the tension release as she melted into him.

"I'm mortified," she admitted.

"I know it's been a while." He ran his fingers through her hair. "But you can't pretend like I wasn't a part of your life...that I don't understand what Derek does to you." He pulled back and she finally saw him- saw his honesty and his heart and everything he'd done for her.

"Oh, Mark," she cried. "I'm sorry. I made myself forget because I thought I was crazy. I thought I was making all this stuff up...that you actually wanted me and for reasons other than sex."

"You're not crazy," he said, a gut reaction to her statement. "There's something between us and we can't play anymore games. I won't go through two whole weeks without you again."

She got quiet as she saw that her fantasy life had actually become quite real. "I need to think for a while, and sleep." He seemed worried so she added, "Not a bad thing." She smiled. "I just have to clear my head."

He conceded, but wished she had promised never to leave him again.

Addison woke and felt a little better. Of course, she was in Mark's bed, in his arms and feeling very wanted. She snuggled into his strength and enjoyed the safe feeling. The sleep had cleared a bit of fuzz out of her brain and she tried to ponder her decision rationally, which was difficult, because all she wanted to do was listen to her heart.

Mark had been right. They needed to make a decision. She had three options- she could call it quits with Mark and remain married to Derek, pursue the affair and make absolutely sure they wouldn't get caught, or divorce Derek to have a public relationship with Mark. The first and third options seemed to end in heartbreak- she didn't expect her marriage to improve, especially since it hadn't in her hiatus from Mark. Derek would continue being obsessed with his job and she would live for the moments when he looked her way. And the third option- she didn't know if she could trust Mark yet. Who's to say he wouldn't dump her as soon as the danger and excitement of the affair was over?

She couldn't be sure though.

When he awoke, he kissed her- their first kiss since the Popsicle incident. Their mouths were both hot and dry, but she enjoyed it. She missed his kisses so much. She missed the way he moaned when she stroked her tongue into his mouth. She missed the way his tongue could tell her exactly how he felt about her without him saying a word. And she missed his lips- which seemed to have an unquenchable thirst for her own skin.

He held her, breathing heavily. "Wow."

She smiled, just as out of breath as he was. She felt her lips with her finger and noted how sore they were. She didn't notice it when he was kissing her, but in his absence, everything was heightened. "I think we were made to kiss each other."

"I love that you said that." She had never seen him smile like that. Every time she saw him, he was teaching her new things about him. His stigma as a womanizer hadn't exactly disappeared, but it was started to chip away.

"You should know that I like to kiss you..." She trailed off, thinking she'd been completely obvious about what he did to her.

"You never tell me," he said quietly. "You always hesitate, and when I was naked in this bed, you kicked me out. What am I supposed to think?"

She was shocked. He was not being his usual cocky self. She figured the time apart must have shaken him...but she never intended for him to feel unwanted. "I felt guilty."

"Don't you think I feel guilty too? He's my best friend, Addison!" He propped himself up on his arm, putting a little space between them, but not much.

If Mark felt as guilty as she did, he'd be hesitating too. "He's my husband!"

"You know, we're going to have some big problems if you keep thinking that your guilt trumps mine." She did not like it when he used that tone of voice with her- the lecture-y, condescending tone. Like he was trying to make her feel bad.

'Screw you,' she wanted to say. Why shouldn't her guilt trump his? She got angry so she hit him on the shoulder. Not too hard.

"What the hell are you doing?"

She hit him again, hard this time and they both moaned at the abuse of their sore muscles. She got up out of bed and threw her pillow at the chair in his room. It took all of her energy. She took the picture of her and Derek and threw it at the wall too. She was so weak that it just made a mark but didn't crack the glass or break the frame.

"Come back," Mark told her. She did, sitting on the bed. "Why are you angry?"

She cried and whined at the fact that her physical attempt to release her anger hadn't been very successful. "This is not fair! I want to be with you! But I have a husband and I'm so sick of holding back."

"Stop holding back then." He held her arms and then her hands. "I feel guilty too, but it doesn't hinder or impair my feelings for you. It's two completely separate things."

She nodded like she understood. She felt like such a baby, complaining about everything. She supposed part of it was because she was sick, but it was definitely strange seeing Mark being the mature one in the relationship. "So, how do you feel about me?"

He hesitated for other reasons than guilt and then cracked a small smile. "How about some breakfast?"

It was cereal again. No pancakes this time, not because she was just a friend, but because their stomachs couldn't handle it. It was Mark's turn to talk, he figured, or she'd ask again how he felt about her. "So, you want to be with me?"

"Did I say that?" She was being coy.

"Yep." If there's anything that morning that he heard, he heard her say that. "Be with me how?"

"Be with you..." she thought, "as in, not be without you." She slurped the last bit of her cereal. "Never going to do that again."

"Agreed," he said, rather nonchalantly, but actually feeling excited. "Are you thinking about leaving Derek?"

It surprised him when she said, "It's an option."

"What's the other option?" He feared.

"Not leaving Derek," she said simply.

"And what does that mean?"

"Having an affair," She frowned. "I think that's the last time I'm going to use that word."

Affair? Yeah, it left a bad taste in his mouth too. He was much relieved to find that he had a place in her life no matter what.

"There was a third option," She considered and smiled at him, "But we've deemed that void."

"Good." That's what he liked to hear. "So what are you thinking?"

"Honestly?" She paused for a minute to wipe her nose, perhaps to delay what she was about to say. "I don't trust you enough to leave him."

"Honestly," He responded, "I don't expect you to."

She seemed so touched by his answer; she raised her hand to smooth his cheek and kiss him.

"But you should know..." He continued, "that's what I have in my mind as ideal."

"Okay," She paused, "I'm not using you, by the way. I mean, I'm lonely and sometimes my self-esteem drops to rock bottom, but I do truly appreciate you."

He didn't know how to respond, so he said, "Thank you." He hadn't really considered that. "So, we're exploring our relationship extra-maritally?"

"Correct," she replied.

He really wanted to ask her about sex. They hadn't really done anything except touch and kiss. He wanted it- not just sex- but all of her...which included sex. He tried to stop himself from fantasizing about her, but couldn't. She didn't seem too much in a hurry to progress the relationship physically. It was the first time he'd ever waited for sex- the first time a girl had ever wanted him to wait. It was mystifying and intriguing that his stud power didn't work on her. He tried to bring it up casually, "So..."

"I have to tell you something," she interrupted. "I'm so, so sorry."

He wanted to tell her to stop apologizing, but figured it helped relieve some of her guilt.

"I slept with Derek."

Yeah, he kind of figured after two weeks of no contact. He wondered if she expected him to remain celibate during that time. Still, it hurt to hear her say it and confirm it. He'd imagined that they had no sex, that she was completely sex-starved and horny as he was. "Okay," he just said.

She continued, "I think I feel more guilty about that than anything that I've done with you."

"Then why did you do it?" He blurted out, and regretted because he didn't want to add to her remorse.

She hid her face in her hands again- something she did whenever she was ashamed or crying. "I thought maybe it'd convince me that he wanted me again. That he actually found me desirable. I'm so pathetic."

Damn...he did not mean to make her think that. "It's okay. I forgive you."

"You asked me not to sleep with him!" She peeked out of her hands and he could see she was both ashamed and crying.

"You don't feel wanted when you have sex?" He had just processed everything she'd said, and it hurt inside his chest (well, it added to the pain of the flu) to know Derek wasn't even appreciating her.

"I don't think I can talk about this," she said, less ashamed now, but just distraught. She rubbed her temples and said, "I need an Ibuprofen."

He threw her the bottle from the little pharmacy they'd amassed. "Just so you know, I wouldn't do that to you."

"Do what?"

"Make you feel unwanted. Anything less than exquisite and absolutely beautiful, in fact." This was something he could brag about.

"How long does it take you to have sex?" She asked him randomly. "With any of your girls?"

"My girls?" Even though he had a lot of sex, he still found it funny that she thought he was some sort of a prostitute...or man-whore to be more specific. "Depends on what I'm looking for." He didn't want to answer this question wrong.

"Like a quickie. The fastest."

He felt like this was a dangerous conversation to be having but they'd probably passed the point of danger when they'd first kissed. "Um. Probably like five minutes."

She laughed, which he felt was strange, and not sure if it was a compliment. "And your girls..." She kept calling them that,"do they 'finish' in that fast as well?"

"Yep. No faking allowed too." Mark smirked and sniffled. "It's a Mark Sloan guarantee. You get your money back." He winked. "Why are we talking about this? Don't expect me to be done with you in five minutes. We're not going to leave the bed the whole day."

She giggled and laughed and it was one of those that awkwardly turned into crying. "Okay."

She agreed to have sex. That was a start. But she was crying? "Why are you upset?"

"I'm embarrassed." Her eyes shined and her face red and splotchy.

"Why?" They didn't have to talk about sex, but Mark knew Addison was not a virgin and there was no reason why she should be embarrassed by a little flirtation and...he realized..."Derek?" Suddenly, he supposed sex with Derek had prompted her to start the conversation.

"I shouldn't have brought it up."

"But you did," he pressed on. "I don't want any details, but if you want to talk about it..."

"No. I was just curious what you thought fast was. Glad we cleared that up." She did the laugh-cry thing again.

"Addison," he said. Their topics weren't exactly breakfast appropriate, but neither really noticed. "There's fast...but that's not often...like doing in a public place, so you have to be fast."

"Mark, please. I can't do this to Derek. I just thought it was getting better, because we used not to have sex at all and I'm sure he's trying..."

"If he were trying, I don't think you'd be here," Mark said bluntly. Actually, he figured the more upset she got, the more she'd tell him what was actually going on.

"Mark! You know that's not true. Obviously, I'm not just here for sex or else we'd be doing it already."

"Yeah, and obviously, we aren't," he mocked her, a little bit crueler than he meant.

"I didn't know it was such a problem for you," she tried to keep her tone cool, but he caught a little bit of hurt as her words shook. "I'm not feeling very wanted. I thought that was a part of the Mark Sloan guarantee." She stood up and strutted to the bathroom, slammed the door, and locked it behind her.

Okay, so he'd screwed up a little. It was fixable. He knocked on the door.

"You're an asshole!" She yelled.

Maybe not so fixable. "I'm sorry, Addison. I thought you understood- the Mark Sloan guarantee is no faked orgasms." Would she find him funny yet?

She opened the door. "I guess you and Derek have the same guarantee. You two are so similar."

"What?" Ouch. All day she'd been implying that Derek had left her unsatisfied...and now this.

She quickly explained, "I don't have TIME to fake it! I could fake it in five minutes. Not two! Sometimes, I don't even know what he's doing...if he's there or not...if I'm asleep or awake. And he doesn't CARE!" She took a deep breath. "And I shouldn't be telling you all of this. Because he's your best friend and I'm violating some guy code for you to have to listen to me, but I can't think properly when five minutes of sex feels like a vacation!"

"I can pretend that you're not talking about my best friend." There was probably some sort of amendment to the guy code when sex got that bad. "I can't pretend...or even face the fact that you've been doing this for two weeks...maybe more?"

She shrugged. "Are you really angry that we haven't had sex yet?"

"No." He couldn't believe that's what she was worried about. "I'm mad that I didn't get to you first." It was a stupid thing to be angry about, the unchangeable past, but he was. "I'm angry that Derek married you and now we're here and you're miserable."

"Mark, are you sleeping with anyone else?"

He was catching onto her habit of changing the subject when she didn't want to talk about something. "Not since that last time...the day we ate Popsicles."

"And french-kissed," She laughed.

Thank goodness they were past that now, he thought.

"If I'm sleeping with Derek, you should be able to sleep with whoever you want," She said and then whispered ever so quietly, "I guess."

"Or," Mark thought of a better idea, "We could not sleep with others and just sleep with each other."

She broke the bad news to him, "I'm not ready."

"Do you think you're not ready because you've forgotten what an orgasm is?"

She rolled her eyes and he could tell he was trying her patience. He didn't understand why she wasn't ready. They'd already kissed. The next step was sex. It was a big deal, but he had hoped it'd be the first of many to come.

"Soon," she said, ignoring his question and stroking his cheek. He didn't lean into kiss her so she decided to rest and sit on the couch. He followed her.

"I think Derek might notice if I stop sleeping with him."

Mark wasn't sure, but he didn't want to say the wrong thing. He slid his legs around her to lie on the couch and she followed his lead, facing him.

"He might notice the fact that he doesn't have orgasms anymore," she said matter-of-factly. "Don't you notice when you don't have any sexual outlet? Everything becomes sexy."

"I think he's too distracted to get horny. It's probably faster and more efficient for him to jack off anyway." Mark didn't really notice the way they were analyzing their sex appetites, but Addison did and she found it funny.

"What?" Mark knew he was provoking her, but played innocent. "Do you ever do that...since Derek doesn't deliver? Take matters into your own hands?"

They were so close because the couch was so narrow- she had nowhere to hide. She blushed bright red and told him, "I'm not telling you that!"

"Why not? It's no secret that men do it all the time." He was sure to brush her cheek with the stubble on his chin. "I haven't thought about anyone but you for months."

She flushed even redder. "Mark..." She squirmed and he pressed her into the sofa.

"Of course, it's no substitute for the real thing. You can't give yourself a tenth of the orgasm that someone else can give you. There's so much more...contact of skin on skin...everywhere, kissing, and the added advantage of angles and convenience, and just the enjoyment of having someone else pleasure you. You can't beat it."

Addison clutched her nightgown tightly. She couldn't say anything; she just looked at him. Her body was radiating heat again, and it wasn't from a fever this time. Mark ran his hand down her arm to her hip. "You're so hot," he stared at her body and she stared at his eyes, watching him. He cupped a breast for a few seconds and marveled all the way down at her body through the sheer nightgown.

"I'm not ready," Addison insisted, even though everything else said she was.

"Give into me," he said.

"Look at me," Addison said. Her hand cupped his cheek and keep his eyes locked on hers and then guided his hand between her legs. "Don't look down there," she warned.

He growled, but obeyed. The first time she came, he'd barely been touching her for a minute. It took her a long time to recover but she did so laughing. "I tried not to be so fast," she said, "I guess I have no right to complain."

He actually loved how fast she was, but it made him a sad how little time Derek would have needed to pay attention to her, but still didn't. Mark wouldn't let that happen.

"We're not done yet, though," Mark pointed out. At least he wasn't. She held off for longer on her second and third orgasms, and they were less intense, but he was pleased and he never took his eyes off of her face. He found that he liked watching her. He was rock hard by the time she told him she needed to rest.

A little disappointed, he excused himself to the bathroom.

"Get your ass back over here," She commanded, evidently meaning that she needed a rest from just her orgasms.

Still, he barely let her touch him through his boxers. He was afraid he'd get too excited. He already knew how wet she was, which was making it very hard for him not to plead for real sex in the moment. So he tried to make it one of his quickies, of course he promised her he'd last much longer when she decided she was ready.

A/N: Yeah, that's right.

I updated! Miracles do happen, people!

Viva la Maddison! :)