4: Theft
In all honesty I never fell asleep. I blame myself for bringing up THAT incident. Around the time I felt close to falling asleep, I heard a loud bang outside. Already? My inner monologue asks. I reach into my pocket and pull out my time stream cheat sheet. 'Yup. She's here.' I go over to Louise's bed and pull the covers off.
"Hey, Louise, wanna play hero for a bit?" I ask, shaking her a bit to wake her up.
Her eyes flutter open and she looks at me in a daze.
"Huh?" She asks groggily.
"Golem. Thief. Here, now. Wanna help?" I ask.
That wakes her up. Her eyes shoot open and she rushes towards her closet and gets dressed. She grabs her wand and looks at me.
"What are you waiting for?" She asks, "Let's go catch a thief."
*Scene Break*
We head out towards the courtyard. That's when we see the golem with its cloaked rider on its shoulder. Its nice to see that Fouquet still has a thirst for the eccentric when it comes to magical weaponry.
"Okay, Louise, stay here and hurl explosions at it. I'll do what I can." I tell her.
She nods. I charge the golem, leaving her behind to explode the poor golem. The rider notices me for the first time. It tries to step on me but I jump backwards at the last moment and it narrowly misses me. The golem is a bit faster than I remember it being. I dismiss the thought as me underestimating the thing and charge in. It tries to grab me and I slice off its thumb. The rider stares at me and growls. The Golem tries to step on me again, but then Louise finishes her spell. The Golem finds itself missing a leg and it starts to topple before grabbing the main treasury tower as support. Fouquet notices Louise for the first time, though I'm not sure how you miss her. Bright pink hair doesn't exactly blend into the night after all. The golem spawns a rather large boulder in it's free hand and chucks it at Louise. She tries to blow it up, but misses and hit the treasury tower, which promptly fractures.
"Your aim hasn't changed at all," I mutter to myself before rushing towards Louise. She looks at the boulder and immediately freezes in place. I grab her and jump out of the way of the boulder seconds before impact.
After making sure Louise is safe I look towards the golem. It's repaired its leg and Fouquet has the staff of destruction in her possession. Perfect. Some things never change I suppose.
"You know Louise, in my experience, its usually best to run away from where a large boulder is about to hit," I tell, my relief of her being okay making me tease her a bit.
"S-sorry. I froze. My life flashed before my eyes and everything." She says sheepishly, "W-Where's the thief?"
I shake my head. "She's gone. Took off after chucking that boulder at you."
"What!" Louise screams at me.
Before I get a chance to explain, the school faculty show up. Perfect timing. If only all responsible citizens were as timely as this academy's staff is.
"The thief's gone," I tell them. "Judging by the box they ran off with, I'd say the target was the Staff of Destruction."
Mr. Colbert speaks up "Thief? Here?" He asks dumbfounded.
I nod. "Yep."
"Did you get a good look at the thief? How did he break the wall? It takes at least a square mage to even dent these walls!" Colbert exclaims.
"Mr. Colbert," Says Old Mr. Osmand "Don't you think this should wait until morning? It's the middle of the night after all."
Mr. Colbert sighs. "All right Headmaster. We'll wait until the morning."
Osmand turns to me and Louise. "As you just heard, we'll discuss this later. Until then, go back to your room and get some rest."
Louise and I both nod before heading back to our room.
*Scene Break*
When we get back to her room, Louise sits and the bed and gives me one of those death glares she's always been so good at.
"Saito. Answers. Now." She says in a rather angry tone. I guess she's upset we let the thief get away. You best answer honestly, she doesn't look to be in the mood to mess around.
"Well, first of all, that was Fouquet or the crumbling earth." I say trying to keep my cool, knowing what's coming next.
"Eh? THE Fouquet? What does he want at the academy?" Louise asks me surprised.
"Considering what I told the faculty, I thought it was obvious. Fouquet wanted the Staff of Destruction. You know, the legendary artifact of unrivaled power and devastation that was being housed at a school for children?" I reply.
"Alright. Now who is he exactly?" She says, asking one of the question I really don't want to answer.
I sigh, "I can't tell you the identity of people you don't know like Fouquet. That creates distrust which could clue them in onto our knowledge and then they try something different."
Louise tilts her head to the side, "I don't get it."
"Well let's say, for example, that Guiche is secretly an elvish spy sent forth to steal the panties of all the underage girls he can," I suppress laughter at how plausible the idea actually sounds, "If I were to tell you that, you would stop trusting him, distance yourself from him, and he would suspect you of knowing his identity, making you his next target to silence. Or steal panties from."
Louise nods while blushing a little at the thought of Guiche stealing her underwear. "I guess that makes se- Wait!" I admit, I was a little surprised by the sudden change of tone.
"Does that mean that Fouquet is really a spy in the academy?"
I blink. Then I blink again. I wasn't expecting this question.
"Um... I-I don't really know how to respond to that question." I say.
"Respond with the truth!" Louise says, putting her index finger dangerously close to my face in a pose that would make Phoenix Wright proud.
I push the finger away and sight again. "Fine. Yes. Fouquet can be considered a spy."
Louise gasps. "T-then who is it?" She grabs me by the shoulders. "Tell me!"
"I can't tell you that. Remember our little conversation from about thirty seconds ago?"
Louise lets go and hangs her head in shame. "Sorry, I just got carried away. Wait a minute, Since you know who to trust, what happens when you show distrust to people? Wouldn't that tip them off?"
I ponder this for a minute then shrug. "I guess we could pass it off as the instincts of a familiar. I'm sure someone will believe it."
Louise gives me a look that I swear says, "You really are an idiot if you think that will fool anyone."
But she resigns herself to the fact that it's all we got and sighs. "I guess it'll do. Not like we have a choice."
I smile at her. "Good choice. Though be sure to let me know if you come up with a better idea. You usually good at that. Anyway, Get some sleep. Tomorrow's a big day."
Louise looked at me wide eyed. "What? What happens tomorrow?"
I give a knowing smile and pat her on the head which causes her to blush.
"That would ruin the surprise wouldn't it?" I say teasingly.
Louise lets out a rather upset sigh but resigns herself to the fact that she probably won't get much more info out of me tonight.
"Relax, you'll know what to do. Good night."
Then I'm out for a few hours until dawn when the hunt will begin.
*Scene Break*
That morning, after waking Louise up, we went to the Osmand's office. There were also all the teachers present at the time to discuss the events of last night's theft. Confirmed facts were that the thief used a Golem, was very powerful, and was Fouquet (Called it!). Then Ms. Lounguevile came in and reported that her investigation revealed The whereabouts of Fouquet's hideaway. Convenient, said my inner monologue, That after a few hours of investigation you could easily find the uncatchable thief. His powers of deduction would be so much more astounding if it weren't for the fact that he was deducing the obvious. At least I'm trying!
"Well then," Said Old Osmand, "Now that we know where the thief is, all who wish to go after her, raise your wands now." No one raised so much as a finger.
"Really? No one wants to be known as the one who caught the dangerous, uncatchable thief Fouquet?"
Louise and I look at each other. An unspoken conversation happens between the two of us and she nods her head. Then she raises her wand.
"I, Louise Vallière, and my familiar, Saito Hiraga, will go after and capture Fouquet the Crumbling earth!"
Everyone looks at us in surprise, and I try not to beam with happiness at her including me in the volunteer. Last time it was just assumed that I would go being her familiar. It's always nice to be treated as a person every once in a while. Then, as expected, the unexpected happened. Kirche burst through the door dragging Tabitha by her cape.
"I will not lose to a Vallière! I will also go along and capture Fouquet!" Shouts Kirche.
I do my best to ignore her and look at Tabitha. "She forced you to come along didn't she?"
Tabitha nodded.
"Well since you're here anyway, would you like to help us?" I ask.
She nods once again.
Before anyone else gets a chance to argue I speak up and take control of the situation.
"Well it's settled. Myself, My master Louise, Kirche and Tabitha will track down Fouquet. Also, since she conducted the investigation that found Fouquet's whereabouts, it seems only natural that Ms. Loungueville go as well." I look at Old Osmand, "Doesn't it?"
Everyone, Louise included Tabitha excluded, Stares at me, surprised that a commoner could be that forceful when addressing nobility. If only they knew how forceful I could be when the need arises.
Old Osmand clears his throat and tries to regain control. "Ahem, well yes. That seems rather reasonable. Are there any objections?"
Luckily everyone is still in too much shock to say anything. Sometime's my abilities surprise even myself.
"No? Well then, prepare a carriage and send them off."
*Scene Break*
"Louise, I had no idea your familiar was so forceful." Said Loungueville on the carriage ride over.
"Honestly neither did I. Still, I can be much more forceful under the right circumstances." I respond. "Hopefully those circumstances don't arise this time around."
"Eh? This time around?" Says Kirche.
Crap. Luckily for me, Louise is quick on her feet. Or, thought process.
"Saito here has had to take care of a few thieves in the past. Some real nasty people, right, Saito?" She turns to me and smiles.
I'm caught off guard by the smile and my mind stutters for a bit before recovering.
"R-right." Smooth Saito, says my inner monologue mockingly.
"Oh Darling! Why didn't you tell us earlier! You are such an amazing person!" Kirche says while grabbing onto my arm.
"Right, well there's one thing to remember with thieves and especially famous ones like Fouquet. They don't get their titles for no reason. They are crafty and cunning. They will probably have traps set within their traps. Figure out the first, and you trigger the second and get ensnared." I reply while trying to pry Kirche off of my arm.
"Kirche, remember just who's familiar you are trying to attach to your b-body," says Louise, looking like she's ready to let Kirche be the bait for both traps.
"She's right Kirche. I would very much appreciate it if you stopped trying to fuse my arm with your body." I reply.
"Hmph. Don't say things like that. You know you love it," she whispers in my ear, trying to sound seductive.
"This is going to be a long trip," observes Ms. Longueville. A statement I couldn't agree with more.
*Scene Break*
I'll spare you the details of the trip but it was rather murderous on my will power. Kirche is not someone whose radar you want to be on. However something good did come out of the trip, we came up with a plan. I would go check out the place where Fouquet was supposedly hiding and see if anyone was there. If it was empty, I let everyone know, we go in, grab the staff and leave. If we ran into Fouquet and her golem again, I would attack it and draw it's attention while Louise, Tabitha, and Kirche stay in the air on Slyphid, Tabitha's familiar, and pelt the golem with magic. I couldn't help but notice that the plan was identical to the one last time.
"We're here," declared Loungeville.
"About time," complained Kirche.
"All right, you guys hang back, I got this." I say while I head towards the house. A hand near Derf to give the impression that I didn't know what was going to happen and that I had no idea if anyone was inside or not. I look in the window and did a quick scan to confirm. I turn towards the others and let them know. Then we busted down the door, ran in and began ransacking the place for the staff. At least we would have if the staff's box wasn't the first thing we saw when we beat down the door.
"That was easy," said Louise.
"Louise, quick heads up, I know movies don't exist here but that is one of the lines you never, ever say. No matter what." I tell her, taking on a tone of caution,
"Sorry."
I turn to the others, "This is the staff of destruction, right?" I want to confirm to make sure this wasn't a wild goose chase.
Tabitha nods her head. That's enough confirmation for me.
Then Kirche made the situation even worse. "Anyone notice that it's quiet?"
Please for the love of God don't finish that sentence, begs my inner monologue.
Tabitha nods. "Too quiet."
Crap.
Then we hear a familiar sound outside. I recognize it as the golem and draw Derflinger.
"For the record, that was another line you're never supposed to say," then I charge out of the mansion towards the noise. Time to meet our old friend.
"Fouquet!" shouts everyone at the same time. Except Tabitha. She just kind of, raised her voice to slightly above the average indoor voice.
"All of you, get on Slyphid now!" I yell at the three mages.
"No!" I don't even have to turn to see who said that.
"Louise, it's a little dangerous. Remember last time?" I tell her.
"I will not back down! I can do this! I can prove to them that I'm not a zero!" she says defiantly.
If the circumstances were different, I would have smiled, seeing Louise talking about her noble pride again.
"Let me guess, Noble Pride?"
"That is exactly correct! As a noble, I should never back down!" She says, sticking her chest out to try and make herself seem more determined and courageous. It has the opposite effect.
I chuckle to myself. "Let me offer this as a reply," I wheel around and slap her across the cheek. "What does your noble pride mean if you're dead! Don't just throw away your life to prove something!" I get angry just remembering these conversations. Damn, your going to have to have all these talks again aren't you? 'Thank you for your absolute sense of not caring.' Hey, it's your problem, not mine. I'm just here to mock you when you do stupid things.
Louise looks at me, stunned. Then she falls to her knees and starts to cry. Like now. Congratulations, you have succeeded in making her cry once again. I should call the police and report domestic abuse. I didn't really have time to respond to him considering the Golem was about to step on me and Louise. I grabbed her and pulled us out of the way before the Golem brought it's foot down.
"Can't you even try to console me a little bit? Please?" Louise is practically begging.
"Sure, after this Golem is destroyed!" I respond. Then I remember what Louise did to help out last time.
"Louise, I know something you can do to help." I tell her. "Whether this battle ends in victory or defeat hinges on this moment."
She wipes her tears and looks at me, a sense of duty in her eyes and asks, "What do you need me to do?"
"Go to Slyphid, get the staff of destruction and bring it here, and pelt the golem with magic while I set up."
"Eh? What can you do with the staff?" She asks, clearly more confused than ever.
"Trust me."
She looks at me, nods, and waves down Slyphid.
I keep the Golem's attention by hitting it with some slashes to keep it focused on me.
"Partner," Derflinger speaks up "This isn't working. Do you really think the Staff of destruction will work?
"No, I don't think it will work, I know it will work."
"Saito!"
I look over and see Louise waving the box housing the Staff of destruction. I rush over to and grab the box.
"Great job Louise, now keep that rock busy while I get this running. It should take a minute at most."
Louise nods and start chanting to try and explode the golem. It reminds me that we need to work on her aim. She hits trees and rock near the golem, still doing a sizable amount of damage, but she never hit the golem itself. Finally, the staff is ready to fire.
"Stand back Louise, but don't stand directly behind it, there will be a back blast which can hurt." She nods and stands off to my left side. With the "Staff" sitting pretty on my right shoulder, I look down the sights and aim at the Golem, I pull the trigger and the rocket comes out and hits the golem square on. A huge explosion and a few seconds later, the golem is rubble. I have a few seconds to admire my handiwork before Kirche lands on top of me, and almost breaks my neck. Words cannot begin to describe how much that would suck.
"Darling! You did it! I knew you could, but still! You took out a golem in one shot!"
"Yeah," said Louise, "that staff sure is dangerous."
I look over and see Tabitha looking around.
"You noticed too, right?" I ask her.
She nods, while Louise and Kirche just look confused.
"Notice what?" they ask simultaneously.
"Should you tell them or should I?"
Tabitha points at me with her staff. Apparently I should tell them.
"Okay then. Louise, Kirche, look around. See anyone missing?"
They look around, and then their eyes get big when they realize what I'm talking about.
"Good you noticed. Where's Ms. Loungueville? A better question would be, where is Fouquet? After all SHE wasn't on the Golem this time."
Their eyes get even bigger when they realize what I'm implying.
"Congratulations Familiar, I didn't expect you to figure it out so quickly, or at all I may add," came a voice from behind us.
"It was quite obvious when you went missing during the battle. That and your near miraculous recovery of Fouquet's whereabouts in mere hours when none have been able to track her previously. After that your plan was easy to figure out. Take different students and mages with you to where you hid the staff, then try to get them to figure out how to use it since you didn't know how to." I say calmly. "Am I on the right track so far, Mathilda?" I decide to use her real name for a little extra spite.
When I turn around, the look of shock on her face is almost too much to bear.
"How did you?"
I shrug. "I had some deals with information brokers in the past." I look over and see Louise looking like she's trying not to giggle at my taunting of Fouquet.
"Still, thanks for the staff of destruction. In fact, I'm so thankful, I'll let you get a shot off on us. So you can wield it's power with your own hands." I say darkly and toss the "staff" to Fouquet. I like this plan. I like it a lot. Everyone's reaction is so priceless I can't help but laugh.
"W-what's so funny? You just gave me one of the most powerful artifacts in the world!" says Fouquet
"What were you thinking!" shouted everyone, even Tabitha which was a little shocking.
"I didn't want to make this too easy so I let her get the first shot. Won't do her much good though."
"Oh really? Let's see how good that mouth of yours serves you when you when you're dead!" exclaims Fouquet.
The three mages behind me lift up their wands, I lift up my hand.
"I said she gets first shot didn't I? Let's make this at least slightly fair for her. After all, there isn't a hint of danger on this situation. Even if we were in danger, by the time you cast a spell, she would have already been shot." I say to them. The begrudgingly lower their wands.
"Foolish familiar! You have sealed your doom!" was Fouquet this hammy back in my time? She lifts the "staff" like she saw me do and aims it at us. Louise, Tabitha and Kirche close their eyes and cling on to each other, kneeling on the ground, waiting for the end. I stay standing. You know they're going to hate you after this, right? 'Maybe, but it'll help us get Fouquet.'
Fouquet pulls the trigger.
"Eh? But, I saw-"
Before she can finish, I grip Derflinger and rush towards her and hit her in the stomach with Derf's handle.
"I won't explain the specifics, they're probably beyond your understanding, but it only has one shot. No amount of magic will ever change that. Also, it's not a staff. It's a weapon from my world. There, we call it the M72 Rocket Launcher."
Fouquet falls to the ground and loses consciousness. I grab the rocket launch and turn towards the girls.
"We won." I say. Short and simple. They open their eyes, which nearly pop out of their skulls when they see the seen in front of them. They probably never expected me, a commoner, to actually be braver than they were. To be fair, if a fully loaded rocket launcher were pointed at me, I would have reacted the same way they did.
"Oh and uh, sorry for scaring you back there," I say. "It was just a part of a plan I had come up with. I definitely don't plan on letting any of you be put in danger."
Louise is the first to react. She runs up to me and hugs me, tears in her eyes. Then Kirche and Tabitha do the same thing, minus the tears. Yeah, group hugs are the best reward for scaring them to death. 'Can you please just shut up?'
"Let's grab Fouquet and head back to the academy. I'll explain what my plan was on the way there. Slyphid can carry all of us, right Tabitha?"
*Scene Break*
On the way back to the academy I explained how I gave Fouquet the rocket launcher to keep her rooted in one place.
"I see," Said Louise. "If we had all rushed her before you gave her the staff, she would have run off and we might not have caught her again."
"Exactly," I replied "To remedy that problem, I gave her the staff and led her to believe it would still fire. Being a single shot, it wouldn't and I counted on her being surprised enough to allow a follow-up strike."
Tabitha nodded her head. "Clever."
I looked at her and blinked once. I think that's the first time I ever got a compliment from Tabitha.
"Just as I expected, Darling is a mastermind!" Said Kirche, attaching herself to my arm again.
"Saito," said Louise, "I have to ask, where did you come up with a strategy like that? It couldn't have been a spur of the moment idea. You had to have planed it out, right?"
"Well, it worked in the past." I reply honestly.
While Louise immediately understands what I mean by that, a fact I am grateful for as it means less explanation about it later, Kirche and Tabitha don't quite understand.
"What do you mean?" asked Tabitha of all people.
"The thief isn't expecting you to just hand them the treasure right? They expect to fight you and ultimately kill you to pry the treasure from your hands. By just giving it to them, they are stunned long enough for your strike to be made." I say, using an explanation I pulled straight out of thin air.
Surprisingly, it works. They both nod and seem satisfied. Good, the less they suspect the better. Though I knew Tabitha would figure it out eventually. She's smart like that.
*Scene Break*
Ah, the Slepnier Ball. Or was it the Ball of Frigg? Oh well, it didn't really matter. I have so many memories from so many balls that it becomes hard to remember the names sometimes, though the memories always stay. It was such a nostalgic feeling, being at this ball. After we got back and explained the situation to Old Osmand, he gave Louise and Kirche the title of chevalier and Tabitha, already being a chevalier, got the elven medallion. I got nothing but that didn't bother me. I already had what I needed, I knew things they didn't so there really wasn't much they could give me. I was really just happy to be appreciated. After the ordeal we were reminded that the ball would continue on schedule and that we should go get ready. That's where I was now.
I stood out at a balcony outside the main hall, a once full bottle of wine in one hand, and Derflinger propped up on the other end of the Balcony. I didn't quite feel like socializing after getting tipsy so Derflinger was my only company at the moment. Then I heard what I was waiting for.
"The daughter of Duke Vallière, Louise Françoise Le Blanc de La Vallière arrives!" proclaimed one of the guards.
No mention of the chevalier title? Said my inner monologue. I guess the princess hasn't signed the papers yet or something.
Then I saw Louise and all thoughts left my brain. I had forgotten just how beautiful she could look when she tried.
"She cleans up nice doesn't she partner?" asked Derflinger.
"Shut up, stupid sword." I was grateful I had already drank the whole bottle of wine before hand so I had a perfect excuse for why my face was so red.
Many people asked to dance with Louise but she turned them all down. She scanned the room like she was looking for someone, then her eyes settled on me and she walked to my balcony.
"Enjoying the party?" she asked.
"I'm torn on whether to say something stupid like 'no' or say something even more stupid like 'I am now that you're here." Really? That's the best answer you could come up with? 'It wasn't an answer, it was me not acknowledging that I don't know which of the two to use.' Doesn't make it any less stupid. I hope that my inner monologue doesn't constantly mock me like this.
Louise laughed a cute little laugh that almost killed me right then.
"But enough about me, why aren't you dancing with anyone?"
She blushed and suddenly gain a great interest in her shoes. "Now it's my turn to be torn on whether to say something stupid like 'I had no offers' or say something even more stupid like 'I wanted to dance with you."
If it hadn't been for the fact that I had put the bottle on the balcony's hand rail, I would have dropped it right then. Thank god for alcohol's uncanny ability to hide the fact that I'm blushing so hard right now. Wow. I can't believe your stupid line actually worked.
Louise looked at me and asked in an embarrassed voice that was almost too adorable to be her own, "May I have this dance sir?"
I look at her, smile, and reply "Of course miss."
I take her hand and we assume slow dancing formation. A quick glance at Derflinger shows that he is trying his hardest not to burst out laughing at the scene before him.
"Its odd." I say.
"What's odd?" asks Louise.
"I believe it was this very ball, with those exact words, that I fell in love with you. It only got worse after that." I say.
Louise blushes and looks aside for a bit. "I believe you now Saito."
"Ah, which claim? That I'm from the future or that I'm from another world entirely?"
Louise shakes her head. "The Staff is a weapon from your world isn't it? It is most certainly nothing like I have ever seen, and I don't see how you could have known about Fouquet's plans inside and out with some type of prior knowledge of the situation. But that's not what I was talking about."
Okay, now she lost me. "Um... Then what are you talking about?"
Louise turned crimson again. I have to admit, she's getting really good at that. Soon she'll probably be able to do it on command.
"That time, when you said those things... about loving me." I could already see where this was going. "I thought you were just saying things to try and prove a point, or toy with me or something." Was it just me or was she close to tears? I wonder why. "But I believe you now."
Now even the alcohol I drank couldn't be used to excuse how red my face was right now.
"When you saved me from the Golem both those times, I felt much safer than I ever have. I don't know why. But, thank you Saito. For everything you've done. And for everything you will do."
Louise buried herself in my chest, and embraced her and patted her on the head. Is it possible to fall in love with someone twice over?
*Louise POV*
I slept in my bed that night, thoughts of the ball playing through my head. "What was that? Was that what a confession's like?" I didn't really know what I meant by what I said, or why I said that. I tried to forget about that and focused on earlier. "Saito, he saved me from the Golem twice." I wasn't sure why, but when I was near Saito, I definitely felt safer then I ever had been before. Why was that? Without realizing it, I had gotten out of my bed and had crawled into Saito's little haystack. I wrapped his arm around me and sighed in content. With a feeling of security around me, it wasn't long after that I fell asleep.