THE ONE WITH REGRETS

The dreams started right after Valentine's Day. They didn't happen too often, just a handful of times really, but he always remembered them vividly after he woke up. There was always Kurt with somebody else in them – kissing, touching, dancing, laughing, sharing perfect little moments. And every time it happened, Blaine woke up with his heart stuck in his throat, raging with jealousy. Every time he wanted to just find his friend and confess that his feelings were far from platonic, that he wanted more. And every time he stopped himself with cool reasoning. Kurt doesn't need a boyfriend now, he needs a friend or It's too soon after that thing with Karofsky, or even Maybe after Regionals. And the most terrifying – It could ruin our friendship.

Except they were growing apart anyway. After the Jeremiah disaster, there was Rachel's party, where Blaine drank to forget about the ache in his chest and look where it got him, and even though they were soon talking again, Kurt was a bit more distant, a little less cheerful. Then there was the whole sexy business and now it felt as if there was a glass wall between them. Kurt's smile was forced more often than not, almost fake sometimes. He even lost his enthusiasm for singing. Dragging him along into an impromptu number felt like… well, dragging now. Blaine chose Misery very carefully to convey his message to Kurt just right, but it clearly didn't work, because next thing he knew, he was at the receiving end of this painful honesty that he only saw directed at other people before and… shit, it stung.

And then Pavarotti died and Kurt, so sad and so, so beautiful, sang Blackbird, and it was as if a huge hint was blinking in front of Blaine when he heard You were only waiting for this moment to arise. That night he dreamt of Kurt again, but he was there himself this time. They were together, they were happy, holding hands, kissing, dancing at prom, making love, Kurt's face amazed and delighted. There were flashes of New York, of shared apartments, of their hands with wedding bands. Blaine woke up filled with quiet happiness and he knew he'd just seen his perfect life. He wouldn't wait any longer. All the signs were there. It was time. He would tell Kurt. He would confess his feelings and they would be together at last.

He knew Kurt always came to the Warblers practice early to try and sing a little by himself, so he decided to talk to him then, before everyone else appeared. Approaching the room, he heard a murmur of conversation, then a quiet, familiar laugh. Peeking through the half-open door, Blaine saw Kurt sitting on one of the couches with Nick. They were holding hands and talking animatedly. As he looked, stunned, Nick placed a slow, gentle kiss on Kurt's lips – a kiss that wasn't unwelcome, apparently, since the other boy laid his hand on Nick's neck and kissed back. When they finally parted – and it felt like hours have passed – there were sparks in Kurt's eyes and this look that Blaine realized used to be reserved only for him – full of warmth, adoration… Kurt touched Nick's cheek and Blaine fled, unable to look any longer, tears stinging his eyes. He skipped rehearsal for the first time ever, claiming he had a killer headache. This night he cried himself to sleep, thinking about all that could have been.

He didn't dream of Kurt anymore.

[If you prefer more optimistic ending, read on :)]

Kurt and Nick were so great together, the amount of sweetness between them was sickening. They were a couple until graduation, when they decided against long distance relationship in college and parted amicably.

In the meantime, the distance between Kurt and Blaine shrunk, they were good friends again, though never quite as close as before. Once, in a bout of drunk honesty, Kurt confessed that he'd distanced himself because he couldn't stand the pain of unrequited love anymore. It hurt like hell, but Blaine never told him he loved him back all along. He refused to mar Kurt's peaceful happiness in any way.

When they went to colleges in different cities, they emailed and Skyped each other regularly. Blaine was the first to know about Kurt's new boyfriend, who soon evolved into serious boyfriend. When he learned they were moving in together months later, he finally resumed dating, determined to forget. No one was good enough though. No one was Kurt enough.

Not a day went by when he didn't regret his hesitation. But Kurt was happy and that was what counted.

Another year passed.

Then one night Blaine woke up at three in the morning from a vivid dream of Kurt's tear-stained face. He'd learned the hard way not to ignore such dreams, Kurt dreams as he called them, so he just grabbed his phone and called the familiar number, middle of the night or not. It was picked up immediately.

"B-blaine?" Kurt's voice was shaking, tearful and incredulous in his ear.

"Are you all right? What happened?"

"He… he left." Kurt was definitely sobbing now. "We argued half the night and then he just packed his things and left. And I'm alone, I have no real friends here and I can't afford this apartment by myself and I have this huge exam next week and I'm such a mess I can't even think straight. Oh god, Blaine, I was just thinking about you, how much easier it would be if I had a friend here. How did you know?"

"I don't know. I… I dreamed of you. I woke up and I had to call you. Okay now, do you have any milk?"

"I think so, why?"

"Go warm up some, drink it and try to get some sleep. I'll be there in the morning."

"What? But…"

"No buts. I'll just grab some things and I'm on my way. It's just a four-hour drive. I'm done with my exams, so I can stay for a while. Unless – oh shit, sorry, I just assumed… Unless you don't want me there?"

"Are you kidding? Of course I do!"

"I'll call to wake you up when I'm there. Now go to bed."

He had no idea if there was still any chance for them, but he would be there for Kurt and if there was even a sliver of hope, he would fight for it this time.