………………………………...
It was two days later when the Professor and Beast final agreed that it was time to wake up Gambit. Charles had resisted the pleas of his X-Men, dreading the unknown state of Remy's mind and the strength of his shields. There was also some concern that his fever had not subsided, but Henry felt that with some proper nourishment from solid foods, his immune system would build up and be better able to fight off the sickness. Charles, and the other telepaths were all in the med lab with Remy, prepared for anything. Beast and Storm were in the back, and out side, in the hall way the some of the other X-Men, all anxiously awaiting to see him. Rouge was right out side the door, angry that they would not let her in, despite Xavier's completely reasonable explanation. He told them all that it was quit possible that Remy's shields had been destroyed by the mind sweep and that their emotions would feel like an avalanche to his empathy, threatening to crush him. He would, no doubt not be in control of his own emotions and so would project them to every one. His fear and confusion would drive those around him insane, and would only hurt his fragile mind. Rouge knew and accepted this, but still, wanted desperately to be there by his side.
The southern bell paced out side the med lab, wrapped up in Remy's coat. She leaned back against the wall, sighing as she closed her eyes and rubbed her temples. Rouge was deep in thought when Jubilee walked up to her, a question in her eyes working it's way to her tongue.
"Um,……….So,…..How are you doing?" The teen asked joining Rouge against the wall, staring at her feet.
"Fine Shuga,……….you?" She spoke with a sigh and a weary smile. Jubelee nodded, then shifted her weight back and forth.
"Things will be different now,…….now that you have control over your powers." The two females looked up at each other. It was Rouges turn to nod.
"I hope so at least………….It's so strange how it all went down getting zapped by that power suppresser gun a month back during our prison brake in New Mexico. But,……. Maybe now we can have a real relationship like other people……….That is….if he can recover from what he's been through." She swallowed hard biting back the tears that welled up every time she thought about it.
"It's kinda sad but,………if none of this ever happened, I mean, If the government never came after us, and we never formed the United Mutant Liberation Force,………..then you wouldn't have gotten hit by that gun and learned to control your powers." Jubilee set a hand on Rouges shoulder as she shook her head, eyes closed. After a moment she stood up strait and locked eyes with the teen once more.
"I would rather live with out touch and have spared Remy from this hell, than be able to hug and kiss his scares." She turned away heading out side for some fresh air.
……………………………………………………………………………………………
Inside the med lab the telepaths gathered around the unconscious man, preparing for the journey into his mind.
Our we ready? The Professor communicated to his fellow telepaths with out opening his mouth. One by one they each answered yes, as the link was forged. Remember, we want to bring him out slowly, at a pace he is comfortable with………….Do not confront him,……….just open the doors for him and lead him back to consciousness…… The Professor's voice became less defined as they gently drifted into the darkness of Remy's mind. Jean was the first to arrive, then Psylock and the White Queen, fallowed by Charles. The dark blankness of Gambit's mind was cold and lonely, but to Charles surprise they could here the beeping of the monitors and the gentle whispers of Hank and Ororo.
Xavier,…...if he can here them now,……….has he heard everything else since becoming comatose? Emma Frost asked.
And will he remember it once he wakes up? Psylock added.
I cannot be sure, but it is a very real possibility." The Professor agreed.
God I hope not! Jean sighed, a feeling of sympathy and anger was suddenly emitted from her, and the telepaths were all amazed as her words crystallized into colorful waves, drifting off into the blackness.
I don't understand! Betsy whispered in astonishment as her words too pored into colors, reflecting her own emotions. More colors pierced the blackness as Charles and Emma added with their own fascination and confusion.
How interesting!…….Unlike our telepathy which picks up thoughts and interprets feelings through words,……Gambit's empathy channels only the raw emotions, and so thoughts filled with emotions become waves of color,……that's how his mind interprets. Xavier was intrigued, having never been inside the mind of an empapath.
I wonder if Remy can see Auras? Jean pondered.
We must make it a point to ask him at a later time! Charles commented. His attention drifted to a small light, far off, were their emotions had pierced the endless blackness. From the small tear, a steady, but weak wave of indigo light pulsed toward them, gently caressing them with a feeling loneliness and confusion. Xavier turned toward the light and focused his feelings of love and compassion, sending a small wave of white and pink light back toward the opening. The others understood what he was doing and sent their own positive emotions out, filling the blackness with a rainbow of warmth. They were answered by an equally strong wave of fear and mistrust, crashing against them with a powerful force.
Hold back,…..We don't want to overwhelm him! Xavier instructed cautiously. He took a breath to steady him self as he sent a more gentle wave of hope and understanding. The tear had grown larger with the constant flow of emotions. As Xavier's wave poured in though the expanding rip, a sudden flood of emotions gushed through the opening, shattering the empty darkness with light. Memories and emotions intertwined as random flashes released a mix of feelings. Confusion and pain, so much pain dominated all else as the telepaths became swept up in the whirl wind of thought that erupted through the Cajun's mind that had lain dormant for weeks.
We must get out before we our selves are over whelmed! Emma gasped as the strength of Remy's pain began to suffocate her. They each grabbed hands as Xavier ripped them from Remy's mind, feeling overwhelmed and disoriented. The telepaths open their eyes, realizing they were once again in their own bodies. But the small room was no longer calm as Beast and Moria were trying to hold down the Cajun's convulsing body as the heart monitor beeped at a frantic pace. Before any one could react, Remy opened his ruby fire eyes and shot out of the bed, and onto the floor. He grabbed his head and let out a cry of pain as his mind felt as if it was ripping apart only to reform. So many emotions, so much noise. He could hear and feel and see and touch and taste the raw essence of those around him and it was making him sick. His blood pounded in his ears and he felt hot and cold all at once. He had to get away, he had to hid away in a dark corner were they couldn't reach him, were his head wouldn't be clouded by mind numbing pain and waves of constant nausea.
No sooner had Gambit opened his eyes, then a sudden gush of fear and pain seized each person in the room, bringing them to their knees. It was as if all their senses had been stripped away, and only chaos remained. They could think, but barley, as the force of Remy's emotions pounded down on them unchecked. The desperate mutant stumbled to his feet and out the door, where a flood of new and even more intense emotions washed over him. The lights were too bright and the voices too many. He almost doubled over from the pain in his skull, as he gagged from the extreme nausea. Through the disorientated confusion in his mind he could feel their hands on him, and it triggered an even greater sense of fear and desperation. He pushed away from the bodies around him and ran. Blindly he ran down the bright white hall way, crashing into the walls as he went, suppressing painful cries through clenched teeth.
The others could do little else then watch him go as they struggled to combat the intense negative feelings that threatened to destroy them all. Rouge and Warren had managed to put their hands on him before crumbling to the floor in shear agony. Once he was out of sight, pain and confusion gradually subsided, and they managed to find their balance once again. The Professor was in the hall way now, along with the others that had been in the room. He was flushed and looked more then slightly shaken as did those around him.
Every one calm down,……I am setting up a temporary shields on Remy's empathy to help him control it and so we shall not be overwhelmed by his emotions or visa versa. The Professor projected to every one in the hall way. He sighed, regaining his composure as he found Remy's location.
"Beast and Jean,…come with me!……The rest of you stay here, we cannot risk another Empathetic release if he becomes overwhelmed." With that said they were once more on the move, searching for their desperate and lethal team mate.
………………………………...
Logan was in the kitchen drinking a beer when he heard the ruckus out in the hall way. He had only waited with the others for about a minute when he decided to take a breather. No sooner had he opened his beer, then the sounds of anguished cries and muffled sobs erupted as voices cried out to Remy. Instantly he was in the hall way only to through himself back into the kitchen as a wave of fear rocked him hard, like a swipe of Sabertooth's claws. He stumbled for a moment, before hearing Chuck's voice in his head. Logan didn't wait to here the orders as he took off down the other side of the hall, sniffing out the Cajun's hiding spot from the stench of terror he left behind. Logan could sense the state of mind the kid was in, and understood it better then most. When ever Wolverine went feral, he acted only on his survival instincts, unable to reason or think, his memories forgotten. Add a mind shattering head ace, two months of torture, and enough confusion and mix of emotions to drive a man insane, and that was about were the Cajun was.
As Logan rounded another corner he bumped into two mutants he didn't know, they looked startled and worried. He didn't bother to speak, just growling instead.
"A man just ran into the main corridor, he was screaming and holding his head." The first spoke.
"We saw he had a X on the shorts he was wearing and figured he came from one of the X-teams." The other added quickly.
"Ya thought right!" Logan answered, increasing his pace to a jog. 'hold on Gumbo, I'm comin!' The thought was determined as were his steps. After weaving his way through the maze of halls he finally stopped short in front of a dark humid room. He opened the door slightly and sniffed, barley making out Gambit's scent among the detergent and fabric softener. The steady beat of the washers and dyers did well to hid the frantic rhythm of his heart, but Wolverine senses were on full alert. As he took a few steps into the room, he could tell Remy was holding his breath.
"Gambit,………it's me, Logan,……don't worry, I ain't gonna hurt ya!" He turned his attention to a pile of dirty cloths on the floor, hidden between a washer and the wall. A small muffled whimper could be heard by only Logan's sensitive ears. Cautiously he approached the pile of cloths, his foot steps soft as if he were sneaking up on an animal, rather then a team mate. He crouched down and slowly pulled apart the heap of cloths until he found a mop of shaggy, soft auburn hair. Logan gently pet the top of the Cajun's head, as if calming a wild dog. Suddenly Remy leapt out of the pile and with a forceful kick knocked Logan back. He scrambled to the door when suddenly it opened letting in blinding light. Gambit fell back and crawled backwards into another corner, eyes shut tight, his finger laced threw his hair as he rocked back and forth, tears spilling down his cheeks.
"Damnit Hank,……..Shut the door!" Logan growled.
"Logan?" Jean asked in surprise.
"Yeah, now close the door or the kid will bolt first chance he gets." Wolverine growled as his bruised ribs began to heal. The Professor entered and they shut the door except for a crack of light to see by. Logan crawled toward the trembling man, who was emitting wave after wave of confusion and fear. "Remy?………..It's ok. Your safe,……. no one is going to hurt you here. Were your family remember? The X-Men." Jean's voice was gentle and soothing as she sent waves of warmth and security toward her anxious team mate. Gambit opened his eyes slightly as he felt the comforting emotions, the words sounded the same, but he couldn't understand them. His head still hurt and he felt sick with fever and nausea, and so desperately tired and hungry, and scared. He swallowed hard as a small cry came from his throatt. He wanted to trust the nice sounding voice, but all he could remember was pain, and anger and fear. He opened his eyes again as he felt the man approaching him.
Logan was on his hands and knees, crawling toward Remy, he stopped and sat up a few feet away. His blue eyes were gentle, and understanding, but strong and safe. He locked his with the Cajun and saw the unmistakable panic is his friends eyes, the uncertainty and the ever present fear all glazed over with fever. With out saying a word, Logan opened his arms, and made a gentle growl, one that offered more then words to the distressed man, huddled on the floor. Gambit was no longer rocking him self and was looking hard at the man in front of him, his burning red eyes peering through long, shabby bangs. The other three in the room waited with baited breath, fingers crossed that it would work. Finally, Remy scooted forward, cautiously approaching the man who did not move. Slowly he leaned into the strong and sturdy torso of Wolverine, resting his head on the mans chest, his arms still folded around himself. Logan gently wrapped his arms around Gambit, feeling the tenseness in his whole body. He held his team mate, using one hand to stroke his bare back as he felt wet tears soaking through his flannel shirt. Gambit was shivering but his skin radiated with heat from sickness.
The animal part of Wolverine felt very protective, wanting to hold his fellow wolf, until he was well enough again to hunt. The human side of Logan just wanted to be there for his team mate and friend and help him recover to become the cocky, arrogant son of a bitch he always was. The only man who would go out riding and drinking with him, who could kick his ass at cards, but graciously lose a few hands any way out of respect for him. The man with a style and flavor all his own, who pissed off one eye almost as much as Logan did. He had missed the Cajun, and now to have him back as a shadow of his former self, was enough to make the mighty Wolverine feel a drop of wetness in his own eyes. He could feel his friends spine, still way to skinny, and he could sense Remy's hunger but knew he was exhausted physically. Should he carry him to the kitchen? Would the others all stare at him, the strong and proud Cajun being carried like a child? The questions nagged at him for an answer.
Logan, why don't you carry him to the med lab instead, or Beast will if you prefer. We shall bring him something to eat. The Professor reached out a mental hand on his shoulder.
"I'll do it Chuck,……..Gumbo seems to be Ok with me." He looked down at the fragile, thin body in his arms and made another soft growl to get his attention. Two feverish, red eyes slowly drifted up to Logan's face, confusion still present but the fear lessening. He looked so young, tears staining his cheeks ,even with the constant five o'clock shadow. "Hank, grab that blanket will ya." Beast handed the soft green blanket to Logan who then wrapped It around the unsteady Cajun. Wolverine tried to pick him up, but he struggled, reluctantly. Logan let out another growl, a little more stern this time, and the weary Cajun went still is his grip, letting him lift him into the air.
As they made it down the hall way, less forceful but consistent waves of pain and nausea mixed with fatigue and confusion came radiating off Gambit like the heat of his fever. He was still shivering from inside the blanket, and his glazed over eyes, clouded with delirium, tried their best to focus on the face of the man carrying him. Logan stared down into those suspicious eyes and smiled, trying to reassure his cognitively impaired friend. When they round the corner of the hall, toward the kitchen, a heard of anxious faces were there, all ready to pounce. Despite the temporary shields the professor placed with in Remy's mind, the sudden increase in emotions, caused panic in the weary Cajun and with an animalistic whimper he flew from his protectors arms and on to the metal floor, still wrapped in the blanket. He crawled to the wall, rocky as he grasped his head. Before Xavier could even speak to tell them all to back up, the nauseating blast of panic sent all those in the hall staggering back, communicating better then words, what they should do. With knowing looks and nods, the majority of the crowd backed away down the hall way and out of sight, as Rouge, Storm and the other X-Men drew nearer, carefully attempting to regulate their emotions. Wolverine was crouched by Remy, stroking his back soothingly through the Blanket. Every one was silent as they listened to the frantic breaths become slower and more relaxed, his rocky gradually coming to a stop as the wordless moans softened.
The fog of foreign emotions began to dissipate and only a few, strong ones remained. Compassion, concern, love and sadness were floating around in his consciousness, over shadowing his instinctual fear and easing the pain and nausea. At last he opened his heavy eyes, and then shut them tight with a whimper of pain. Instantly, Xavier mentally reduced the lights, dimming them to a brightness easily adjustable for Gambit's sensitive eyes.
"It's alright now Remy, you can open your eyes." Charles voice was soft and gentle, as if he were speaking to a frightened child. He opened one eye carefully then another, before glancing around at those who surrounded him. A tingle of intimidation caused him to wrap the blanket tighter around himself as he stared up at the faces circling him. They sensed his apprehension and Scott immediately sat down, slowly, without making any sudden movements. The others fallowed his lead, and the tenseness lessened but still the demonic eyes consumed in fever eyed them with suspicion, darting from side to side.
"At least he is alert." Bishop surmised. Gambit's head snapped in his direction, brow knitted in confusion. The sounds they made were familiar and he thought he knew what they meant but he couldn't comprehend them fully.
"Remy,…….shuga?…….We missed ya!" Rouge was the closet next to Logan. Remy looked at her with vague familiarity, studding her features. Her beautiful emerald eyes were wide with hope and need, but her lip trembled and tears stained her cheeks. He watched her with curiosity. Then slowly brought his hand up to his own face, long fingers touching the wetness on his cheeks then pulling away, startled. He looked down at the shinny wetness on his fingers, then reached out to her with the other hand, shaky, fingers lightly caressing her cheek. She closed her eyes at his butterfly touch, another tear, dripping down her soft skin. Remy let his fingers trace the tear, then brought his hand back, looking down at both sets of wet fingers. His eyes grew wide with surprise and he turned back to Logan, holding out his hands, palms up, with an expression that seemed to ask why. Wolverine couldn't help but chuckle at the kid's amazement and wonder.
"There called tears Gumbo,…….yer eyes leek em' when ya get emotional." A smirk curled on his lips, as Gambit's brow knitted once more in confusion.
"I don't think he understands." Bobby said, slightly puzzled.
"No,…..he dose not. His mind is completely blank, except for his natural instincts. Right now Remy is like a new born, in a man's body, with all of the functional connections already made. We are fortunate for that, or it would take much longer for him to recover his identity. The laborious process of teaching him how to walk and eat,…….not to mention potty training, can be ignored as he is already cognitive aware, it is merely his memories we must recover,……….and it seems his ability to communicate as well." As Xavier spoke, the others watched him with amusement as he explored his body, staring first at his hands, then touching his face, chest and legs. When his hands reached for a more privet area, Logan grasped his hands lightly in a low chuckle.
"Woah there bub,……you can save that for later!" The others smiled and laughed. Causing Remy's expression to lighten until he too was grinning. It was a grin so distinctly Remy, that Rouge gasped in delight, as if seeing a trace of the man she loved, peaking through.
"Are you hungry Remy?……..Would you like some food?" Ororo's smile was soft and warm, and so comforting that Remy's grin faded as he gazed upon her. With out knowing it, he scooted closer to her, analyzing her features, like a child trying to remember the face of a long lost loved one, feeling the emotions with only slight recognition. He looked at her loving gaze, still wet with tears recently shed, and returned it with the innocence of a child. With out warning his stomach rumbled and he looked down in surprise.
"I think that answers that question!" Kitty smiled. "I'll make us some lunch,……can Remy eat with us Professor?" She rose to her feet then bit her lip, eyes pleading.
"Yes, I suppose so,……..Though I was going to have him eat in the med lab. What do you say Doctor Mc Coy?" Charles smiled.
"Well, I guess that's fine, as long as whatever he eats is very bland so as not to upset his stomach!"
"Got it!…….Hey Peter, ya wanna give we a hand?………You too Bobby!" She smiled and entered the kitchen.
"Why do I always get recruited for this kinda stuff?……what do I look like,…a chief?" Bobby grumbled as he fallowed the others.
" Jean, you and Logan take Remy back to the lab and get him dressed in some warmer clothes,……..Rouge, Storm if you would like to accompany them, I can see no harm in it." Xavier smiled.
"Right,……common Gumbo,……..ya look like an old lady with that blanket on ya!"
"We can fix that can't we?" Rouge smiled as she took the blanket off his shoulders and placed on them his beloved Trench coat, glad to see it returned to it's rightful owner. Remy looked up at her with questioning smile and she just stroked his hair and kissed him on the forehead. With Logan on one side, and Rouge on the other, they guided him back to the med lab.
………………………………...
They all sat at the table waiting for Gambit and the others to return. Kitty was just finishing the chicken salad and Peter was pouring every one lemonade.
"Please pour Remy a glass of whole milk instead, He is in dispirit need of nourishment!" Beast smiled at the Russian who nodded.
"He's still too thin but he looks much better then a few days ago." Kurt commented.
"Yeah,….and we have that scum Surgeon to thank for that!" Warren scowled.
"We did what we had too,….what we would do for any one of us!…And that is any thing we can!" Cyclops responded defensively.
"I know Scott, and I think you made the right choice. But men like that make my skin crawl!" Warren frowned in disgust.
"I agree!…….You should have heard some of the things he was saying! There was no way we were going to leave him alone in there with Remy!" Scott sighed.
"Do you think he can digest Chicken salad OK?" Kitty turned toward Beast.
"Only a small amount, ……with dry toast. I'm afraid his stomach has shrunk from starvation, and we need to stretch it slowly so he won't get sick………We shall all have to watch him, and make sure he doesn't over eat,………give his metabolism time to catch up!" Beast answered.
"When do you think is the last time he ate solid food?" Betsy asked.
"According to that young guard we dropped off in Nebraska,……….It was a few days before he went into a coma. A little over three weeks." Beast said with a heavy heart. They grew silent with thought as the Professor entered fallowed by the others. Remy was in sweats, and was leaning heavily on Logan who guided him to a chair. Rouge and Wolverine sat next to him as Storm and Jean took their seats across the table. The Professor sat at the head and cleared his throat to get their attention since they were all staring at Gambit who was slumped in his chair head down, long bangs over shadowing his pale face. He appeared to be in his own world, and was barley aware of those around him.
"I have just spoken to Havoc, Cable and Magneto about Remy's current condition, and they will inform the others." He was interrupted by Bobby who was still staring at Gambit.
"Professor,….what happened? He was alert and responsive like 15 minutes ago, and now he looks wasted or completely out of it!" They looked back to Remy, who had begun to sway in his chair and was moaning softly. Rouge and Logan each rest a hand on his shoulders to steady him.
"I was just getting to that!" He sighed in annoyance. "Remy's mind is going through significant changes, often becoming over whelmed or over stimulated the result of which is his mind slows down, as if drugged, thoughts are fuzzy, and his senses are all jumbled."
"Like a Computer when it's running too many programs, it takes forever to work and then freezes up on you!" Kitty huffed as she set a plate in front of Charles.
"Not exactly, but similar. However there will be other times when his brain is on over drive and he will become board and restless, his body unable to keep up with the rapid pace of his mind. This is what will be most harmful for him, driving him into an autistic state were he may potentially cause harm to him self. These states will fluctuate and will no doubt coincide with the rebuilding of his shields." The professor paused to take a breath, and sip his lemonade. Gambit was now sliding off the chair and onto the floor. Before Wolverine could grab him, the Cajun slipped under the table and began to crawl. They all scooted their chairs back and peered under the table, as Remy curled up by Ororo's legs.
"Heh!…….Well it's nice to see some things don't change!" Logan snickered looking under the table. Xavier seemed unfazed by the peculiar behavior and cleared his throat to regain their attention
"Now, as far as memory recovery, this will be a most complex and trying task." He sighed. " We must trigger these memories by helping him engage in activities that may be familiar or showing him pictures. Once triggered, a title way of memories will flash through his mind, unfortunately, causing him great pain. It will subside eventually depending on how many memories are triggered, and how long it takes his mind to sort them. It will take many of these episodes to recover and organize more then 20 years of memory and then of coarse, he will be emotionally off settled depending on what he remembers. He may even laps back into the mental state of those memories, but again, that too will subside. Eventually the pieces of his mind will be reconnected and Gambit will be whole once again." Xavier smiled, trying to offer reassurance to his X-Men. They contemplated this while they ate, occasionally looking under the table to see what Remy was doing. After a few minutes, Remy crawled over to Rouge and rest his head in her lap. Wrapping his arms around her lower legs. She blushed as she looked down and began stroking his hair.
"Professor?" She looked up and bit her lip, a sudden sadness danced across her face. Gambit felt it strong and held on tighter, nudging her thigh with his head. "Is there a way we can avoid triggering his negative memories? You know, let him forget the most painful ones, the ones that eat at him and won't ever do him no good?" She asked hopeful. He sighed and wiped his lips, then answered.
"I wish it were that easy Rouge!……But he will never be whole if we try to hid parts of his life from him, no matter how bad they were….….I'm sorry." She looked down at the head of auburn hair, rested in her lap and sighed.
"Sorry Shuga,…..looks like yer in for a rough ride!"