Rosebud Tea
(a remus story of forgiveness)
It is Tuesday night, and he is in the kitchen drinking rose tea and reading the Daily Prophet.
Someone takes the seat across from him; he hears the chair being pushed away from the table. He glances up, startled. Sirius is sitting there, staring at his newspaper curiously. He looks away as soon as Remus looks over.
Two years.
It's been two years and a little part of Remus still blames Sirius. He cannot help it, and Sirius knows this as well. Two years, and they still look away from each other whenever nearby, afraid to meet each other's eyes, as if it would sting to do so.
(James wouldn't like how this was happening.)
He would want them to get over it, be happy. Both knew that, but neither would admit.
(Tonks wasn't taking this so easily either.)
"Honestly, you two," she had rolled her eyes, "Why don't you just get over it? It happened so long ago, and there was nothing either can do about it. It wasn't Sirius's fault that Peter was a –word censure- and would –word censure- tell on them."
Both had left the room without another word. Tonks gnashed her teeth.
(Even Arthur was getting uneasy about it.)
"Look," he had said nervously, wringing his hands and looking at the door every so often, "I'm really sorry about your loss –er, our losses, but shouldn't you two make up- er, stop holding Sirius responsible for it?" high-pitched titter "Look, I know you don't like me bossing you around like I did when you were at Hogwarts, but Moll-" he suddenly stops, and lets out another nervous laugh.
(Maybe it wasn't Arthur after all.)
Anyway, so they're all depressed and everything, and the place is as silent as a tomb. Molly and Kingsley try to make small talk, and Tonks is glaring daggers at both of them.
And there is this night, 11:04 PM on Tuesday – while Tonks is on duty, Kingsley on emergency call at the Ministry, and the Weasleys asleep. Hermione Granger, Harry Potter and Ron's friend, was to be arriving the next day at noon.
"Hello," Sirius greets curtly. He waits for Remus's reply, turning to the stove to pour himself a cup of tea.
After a long pause, and several more pages flipped, it comes. "Hello." Remus flips another page, and continues reading, as if nothing happened.
Sirius heaves a giant sigh. "Look, Moony – Remus cringes- I know what you think about me. You think I shouldn't have given the job to old Wormtail there. You think I was trying to get out of becoming Secret Keeper. You think I don't? You think I don't regret not becoming Prongs and Lily's Secret Keeper?" he is standing up, pounding his fist on the table. The teacup smashes onto the floor, breaking into a million tiny pieces.
The door creaks upon. It's Ron, half-asleep, looking for a glass of water.
Remus stands up and helps Ron retrieve water from the dusty tap, and Sirius flees – out of the kitchen and up the stairs.
Remus goes to bed shortly after. He dumps the tea down the drain (the rosebud goes flailing round and round in the sink helplessly), and flings the book across the room.
(The rosebud falls down the long drain.)
xx
Remus sits at the foot of the bed, propping his legs across the Black-crested bedpost. He cannot sleep.
(He doesn't like the way things are between them)
He wonders what would've happened next if Ron hadn't come in.
(He feels a burning hatred for Ron for a moment, then it flits off and he is left contemplating again)
The voice echoes in his head.
"You think I don't regret not becoming Prongs and Lily's Secret Keeper?"
Of course he doesn't think that.
(or does he?)
"Stop it," he tells himself. "Sirius loves the Potters as much as I do."
(and how much is that?)
"A lot," he says firmly, and then he realises.
(He's wrong)
(It took you that long?)
"Yes, it did." Remus rolls his eyes, stands up, brushes himself off, and there is Sirius, standing silently at the doorway. Their eyes meet, and Remus knows it's okay.
Sirius holds out a mug.
All is forgiven.
Merry Christmas, Rabbi:)
and thank my real-life friend for helping me through all the blocks :)
Review please.