Disclaimer: I don't own anything

The Lizard-Man Secret Society

The freshman students of Youkai academy gathered outside to find their fates. Yes, it was one of the days dreaded by all students everywhere, the posting of midterm test results. The trio of Moka, Kurumu, and Naruto ignored the shouts of their fan-boys and fan-girls as they searched for their names.

"Oh, look I'm 13th!" said Moka as she found her name.

"I have no idea how you pay attention to this stuff, our classes are way to boring." commented Naruto.

"For someone who does the bare minimum, your doing surprisingly well Mr. 77." dryly replied Kurumu as she searched for her own name.

"I'm not that smart, I just cheat well. So don't feel to bad Ms. 133." retorted Naruto.

"As expected from the number one punk of our esteemed academy." teased Moka. "You don't have to cheat, I could teach you my study techniques..."

"Let me guess, in return for you getting to suck my blood?" replied Naruto causing Moka to turn away with a blush. "Studying will cut into my training, how about I cheat off of you instead?"

"Oh! Cheating is bad, but your blood is just so good! I don't know what to do!" exclaimed Moka.

"You don't have to resort to that, I can use my charm to get some boys to do your wok for you!" promised Kurumu as she rubbed Naruto's face into her chest. He was quickly yanked back by Moka as the two girls started their morning argument.

'They're becoming too predictable.' thought a sighing Naruto. On the other side of the crowd a small girl in a bizarre outfit eyed the group with curiosity.

"Congratulations Yukari-san! It looks like you're #1 again!" complemented a sandy haired teen as he loomed over the small dark haired girl. She wasn't really paying attention to him, her eyes focused on Moka as she conversed with Naruto and Kurumu.

"Just what we should expect from the girl genius. Even though she's just eleven she didn't get to skip ahead to high school for nothing." added one of his companions.

The sandy haired boy's smile instantly morphed into a vicious sneer, "Don't get a big head brat. In our eyes you're nothing more than an immature brat who reeks of her mothers milk."

"Class representative?" questioned Yukari, as her attention finally shifted away from Moka as she looked to the boy.

"And what's the big idea with this outfit! It defies school rules!" he yelled while flicking her hat. "I despise people who stick out!"

"Please stop that!" she cried out, holding onto her hat to keep it from coming off.

"As the class representative, your very existence gives me a headache." he continued. "After all, your true form is a witch is it not? How disgusting! I feel like vomiting, just thinking that you're in the same grade as me!"

A frown suddenly flashed across Yukari's face as stone on the ground levitated and flew into the back of the class representative's head.

"AHHAHAHA! You deserved that!" said a giggling Yukari.

"What the hell did you just do to me!" he yelled while charging to attack her only to be stopped as Moka jumped in front of him with her arms spread.

"Stop! I know I don't have anything to do with this, but I can't let this go..." stated Moka. "Please stop using violence towards girls."

"Yeah, if you wanted to fight all you had to do was ask! I'm sure I can give you a better scrap than a little kid!" bellowed Naruto as he appeared on the scene cracking his knuckles.

"It's Uzumaki! Let's get out of here!" yelled one of the group.

"Grr..This isn't over!" yelled the class rep as he the others retreated.

"Oh come on guys! I promise it won't hurt...for more than a few days!" taunted Naruto as the fled.

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

"You really saved me! Thank you! My name is Yukari Sendou!" exclaimed the small girl as she introduced herself. Naruto, Moka, and Yukari sat around one of the patio tables outside the cafeteria. Naruto initially wanted to go have some fun chasing after the class rep and his lame thugs, but Moka insisted he come along to meet Yukari.

"I heard that even though your in our grade you're only a 11? And ranked first? You're really smart aren't you Yukari-chan!" complimented Moka.

Yukari blushed and started waving her hands around emphatically trying to dismiss the praise, "No well.. cool is such...I mean I'm not...I'm just..."

"Don't dismiss yourself so quickly, you stud up to those punks even before we arrived." commented Naruto causing the girl to blush even more.

"Still I 'm not as strong as you guys...and Moka-san is the one who's pretty and sweet. In fact..." Yukari leaped at Moka, glomping the pink haired girl. "I WUVV YOU MOKA-SAN!"

'Eh?' yelled the minds of Naruto and Moka.

"Every time I saw you from across the hall I fell in love with you a bit more. Then after you saved me, my heart made it's mind up! So please will you go out with me? Is that so bad, dating someone like me?" pleaded Yukari as she tugged on Moka's jacket.

'Great Moka's got a mini stalker. I hope mine is way hotter than this one.' thought Naruto. Somewhere a violet haired girl sneezed and nearly choked on her lollipop.

Moka didn't have the heart to crush the girl, "Eh..as friends?"

"Yeah! I'm so happy!" shrieked Yukari. The excitable girl immediately dragged Moka out into the hallway, still clinging to her closely with Naruto following behind watching them with amusement.

"Wow! Moka-san's chest is even bigger than it looks!" exclaimed Yukari as she grasped Moka's chest with both hands and squeezed. The surprise grab caused Moka to stumble and fall over with Yukari landing on top of her. "It's sooo soft! This is like a dream!"

"Stop...for some reason I can't move!" yelled Moka.

"This is not a dream for toddlers." stated an annoyed and slightly jealous Naruto as he plucked Yukari off of Moka, allowing the vampire to regain her bearings. Yukari didn't take kindly to being held up in the air like a piece of paper a squirmed out of his grasp.

"Please don't get in our way! I know all about you!" yelled Yukari with an accusing tone.

Naruto raised an eyebrow at this, "Really?"

"Naruto Uzumaki, above average in the class, athletic ability good, but you'rr a delinquent! I love Moka-san and I don't want someone like you to bring her down into the dirt!" declared Yukari.

"Brat! Do you really want to make an enemy of me?" retorted Naruto, his patience running thin.

"Duh!" she pulled down her eyelid and stuck her tongue out at him. "That's why I'm declaring war on you!"

Naruto couldn't believe this girl, "Seriously?"

Yukari pulled out her magic wand and pointed it at a closed locker, "I'll make sure you never come near Moka-san again!" The locker opened and a bunch of brooms flew out attacking Naruto only for him to vanish in a puff of smoke. Yukari stared at the scene confused before waving her wand again, only to find it gone.

"This is a nice wand you got here. The source of your power, I promise not to break it if you stop being a pest." offered Naruto.

"No way! Give it back thief! I'm a witch, and I'll use my powers to thwart off any boy who tries to get close to Moka-san." she retorted defiantly. Naruto rewarded her by smacking her in the back of the head with her wand.

"Oww..." she whispered wile rubbing the sore spot on the back of her head.

"You've got guts kid, you're alright. Never back down from anybody." chuckled Naruto as walked away scratching his chin in thought. 'I completely forgot what the problem with witches was supposed be! I better get on that before this kid get's roughed up or worse...Oh! Almost forgot!' Naruto flung her wand back over his head, and was rewarded with a satisfying sound of 'Oww!' as he hit his target again.

"I'm sorry, Naruto's a bit rough around the edges, but he means well!" said Moka as she handed Yukari her wand back.

"No worries..." mumbled Yukari, still shocked by his words.

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

Naruto tried contacting Botan to get the information he required, but she didn't respond. He then went looking for Gin, but he'd be caught doing research by the swim club and ending up in the infirmary. Having no other options he resorted to Kurumu, the resident gossip queen.

"What can you tell me about our resident little witch?" he asked as they worked on some tasks for the newspaper.

"Yukari Sendou?" she questioned.

"Yeah, this brat from earlier who was spouting all kinds of crap about how she's not going to let any boy get close to Moka. It's amusing for now, but could get annoying in the future." he answered.

'Yes! Thanks to this brat, I get to spend more time alone with Naruto-kun!' thought Kurumu as she pumped her fist in victory. "I've heard rumors about that girl! Even though she's called a girl genius or whatever, it still sounds like she's a selfish little kid! I've heard she always playing pranks and hated by her class."

'Sounds way too familiar...' thought Naruto with a sigh.

"What can you tell me about witches?" asked Naruto.

"Well, you know it's hard to tell if witches are youkai or humans right? Long ago witches were the boundary beings who connected the supernatural world and human worlds before everything was closed off. Now they are considered half-breeds and their races are discriminated against. On top of that they are hated in the human world too, there used to be things called witch hunts where humans killed a lot of witches back in the middle ages." explained Kurumu.

Naruto snorted in disgust, "Sounds like a load of crap to me. The Youkai passed down a hatred of witches because they no longer allowed them to travel freely between worlds, and the humans hate them, because they were the gateways to beings who used them as food."

"You know that makes a lot more sense than the halfbreed thing." replied Kurumu in agreement.

"Either way it wasn't their fault. The higher ups changed the rules and everyone who was pissed used the witches as scapegoats." stated Naruto with a hint of anger in his voice that Kurumu picked up on.

"Why are you so mad?" she asked.

"Let's just say, I know a thing or two about being a scapegoat." he replied.

X-X-X-X-X-X-X

The next day students scrambled away from the freshman class rep holding their noses as he made his way to morning classes. All in all he had a pretty damn shitty start to the morning. Someone had released a skunk and set off multiple stink bombs in his dorm room during the night along with dousing his entire wardrobe with itching powder. He was in the shower forever trying to scrub away both the itching and the smell. As he approached his group of friends in hallway on his way to homeroom, they all greeted him with strange glances.

"What?" he questioned at their odd looks.

"Uh, dude your hair." replied one of his friends pointing at his head. He then took a glance at his reflection in a window.

"What the hell!" exclaimed the class rep as he ran his hands through his hot pink hair. Everyone in the hall could no longer hold back their laughter as he face turned a shade of pink almost equal to his hair in embarrassment.

"Damn half-breed disgrace..." he grumbled while stomping towards homeroom. He knew the brat was responsible for all of this somehow.

X-X-X-X-X-X-X

Later that day the entire freshman class had gathered in an empty classroom for a meeting. The class rep and his group of friends stood at the front of the room as he started his portion of the meeting.

"For our first order of business..." he began only to be cut off as his body went ramrod straight.

'What the hell I can't control my body!' he thought as he suddenly ripped off his clothes leaving himself in only his shoes and to his surprise a pair of pink lace panties. Out of the corner of his eye he noticed the rest of his friends except one in the same predicament.

'Where the hell did these come from!' soon music started to play and he found himself dancing and singing along to the song 'It's Raining Men!' along with his friends as they took turns giving the last one lap dances. The ruckus laughter of the rest of the freshman class nearly drowned out the music.

X-X-X-X-X-X-X

"I've had it!" roared the class rep the next morning as he slammed down the school newspaper. The headlining article was about the secret gay lizard-man society that finally came out of the closet the previous day. It was supposedly lead by him.

"So what are we going do? It's not like we know who did it." stated one of his buddies.

"Isn't it obvious! That witch is behind all of this!" he roared.

"It couldn't have been her. Rumor has it she's become Uzumaki's little errand girl in exchange for protection." retorted another of his friends.

"Yeah, I've seen her running around getting him food and stuff." added the last guy at the table.

"Don't you see! It's all a front! She probably used her little magic to help create the rumor, but is using it as a smokescreen to create all this chaos!" yelled the class rep.

"Yeah, it seems everyone who says something bad about witches has had some kind of prank happen to them. Non as bad as you though."

"We just need to get the little disgrace when she's alone and then handle things...for good!"

X-X-X-X-X-X-X

Yukari found herself in a bit of a hurry as she scrambled through the halls and the door on her way to the dorms. Unfortunately she didn't wasn't paying attention to where she was going as she rounded a corner and slammed into someone.

"Oww! Watch where you're going stupid!" moaned Yukari as she landed on her rear.

"Well, well, well...if it isn't little Yukari-san." sneered the class rep as he and his posse loomed over the fallen girl.

"We've got you now brat!" roared one of his friends. A brief smirk flashed across Yukari's face before being replaced by a look of panic.

"Excuse me, but I've got to hurry! If I'm late Mr. Uzumaki will be very angry. Not only will he punish me, but he'll come after you too!" warned Yukari.

"You here that guys? Mr. Uzumaki might come after us!" mocked the class rep getting a round of laughter from his friends.

"The jig is up witch! Your little scam ends here and now! I know it's been you behind all my humiliation! You will pay for it tenfold!" Scales suddenly formed on his skin as he morphed into his true form, a lizard-man along with his three other comrades. He then roared at her, his tongue hanging out it the open dripping with saliva.

"Ah!" squeaked the frightened girl as she stumbled back into a tree. A thick fog seemed to roll in, limiting visibility .

"How disgusting! A witch like you has no place in our class. Why don't we rid our academy of you!" She tried to bring out her wand to defend herself, but with a swipe of his claws the class rep knocked it from her hands.

"Now what should we do with her?" he questioned while turning back to his friends.

"Yo! Why don't we eat her! Now that this thick fog has rolled in no one will notice!" one of them suggested.

"Excellent choice!" he then turned back to their prey as he sensed her movement. "Trying to flee! There is no escape!"

"This is your end witch!" he leaned down to bite her head off only to flail backwards in pain as he was slashed across the chest by an unseen foe. The fog had become so thick he could barely see in front of him now.

"What is this..." he gasped out while grasping his open wound.

"This is your death!" a voice seemed to echo from everywhere ominously called out. Suddenly the form of Yukari vanished in a puff of smoke.

"AHHH!"

"NOOO!"

Anger boiled up inside of him at the sound of his friends being slaughtered and the loss of his prey, "Come out and face us you coward!"

"You who chooses to harass a little kid is calling me a coward?" the voice echoed again. The class rep was rewarded with a vicious slash across his back causing him to cry out in pain.

Soon the form of Naruto appeared in front of him as the fog seemed to thin. The sight of the blond with his Jagan eyes flaring caused the class rep to stumble backwards in fear.

"Please! Have mercy!" begged the lizard-man.

"You desired to eat my friend, let see how you like being the bottom of the food chain!" Naruto's eyes flared even brighter as he suddenly morphed into the form on the vicious legendary nine tailed fox.

"No!" screamed the Lizard-man as one of the tails shot forth grabbing him around the waste. The lizard-man ceased struggling as the tip of another tail pierced his neck paralyzing him. He could only watch in horror as the massive paw of the Kyuubi brutally ripped off his limbs one by one and devoured them. As the Kyuubi finally decided to end his misery and flung his torso into his mouth, the class representative only saw darkness when it suddenly shattered bringing him back to the real world staring into the mirthful eyes of Naruto.

"Did you have a nice dream?" questioned Naruto with a smirk as he placed his sunglasses back on his face. It was all too much for the lizard-man as he fainted on the spot. The fog in the area quickly cleared out revealing that a clone that was utilizing the hidden mist technique to create it.

"What are we going to do with these guys boss?" questioned another clone as it leaned over an unconscious lizard-man.

"If we get rid of them, Botan will be on your ass about paperwork." advised the first clone.

"Yes, but then it would give me some time to ogle said girls ass." pondered Naruto.

"Yeah, but she might cause trouble with the others asking questions and what not." replied the first clone. Naruto suddenly flashed back to all the problems Botan caused Yusuke with Keiko.

"Dump them in the headmasters office and let him deal with it. For a guy who runs things, he doesn't get enough paperwork." declared Naruto.

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

A few days later Moka and Kurumu were carrying boxes of supplies through the hall to the newspaper club.

"You know people aren't being so mean to Yukari-chan anymore." commented Moka.

"Yeah, and I heard she apologized to her class for playing all those pranks too. This was all after the rumor of Naruto roughing up the class rep and his group of course. " added Kurumu.

"That's great! She's really growing up! It seems like Naruto has really had a good influence on her." stated Moka with a proud smile.

Kurumu snorted, "More like people fear retribution through pranks or violence."

When they entered the classroom they were surprised to find Naruto walking towards them with Yukari riding on his shoulders. He was eating out of bowl, when he suddenly halted as he found it empty.

"Oi! Brat! Hit me!" called out Naruto. With a wave of her wand Naruto's bowl was instantly refilled with fresh ramen.

"Naruto! Don't take advantage of Yukari like that!" scolded Moka.

"He's not! He's my hired help, I pay him in ramen." explained Yukari.

"Dwam gwud whamen!" uttered Naruto with his mouthful as they turned to walk away.

'Did this brat just steal him from us that easily?' thought a stunned Kurumu.

'I thought those pranks were all Naruto-kun...what have we done?' thought an equally surprised Moka.

"So what are we going to do today Yukari?" questioned Naruto between a mouthful of noodles.

"The same thing we do everyday Naruto! Try to take over the world! Now, I've come to the realization that the world is run by paperwork. Massive amounts of paperwork that even overrides computer systems. Naruto are you pondering what I'm pondering?" she questioned.

"Yeah, but if you put cheese in ramen it just doesn't work. It comes out all messy." replied Naruto.

He was rewarded with a swat to the back of the head, "Focus!"

"Narf!" he responded.

Moka had no idea what just happened, "Naruto and Yukari?"

"Well, one is a genius and the other has ramen on the brain." replied a shrugging Kurumu.

X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X

A/N: Kudos to the review from Ebony017 for the idea of using Ban Midou's jagan abilities from Get Backers. Now I kind of wish I had a Uchiha to pwn with the jagan right now, alas except for Itachi they are all better off dead. And if you didn't get the joke in that last little segment, go watch Pinky and the Brain. They just don't make cartoons in America like they used too.