A/N: For those of you unfamiliar with the villain the Hobgoblin from Spiderman:TAS, Youtube 'The Hobgoblin part 1' and watch the episode from Spiderman the Animated series before reading this chapter. I also recommend watching the series in its entirety, it kicks ass and is another example of how much American cartoons today suck. For those of you familiar with the Hobgoblin, the one in this story is loosely based on him from that series with some modifications.
Disclaimer: Per usual the great DMF pulls from a lot of shit, but he doesn't own anything
The Not So Great Goblin War
Naruto stared blankly in front of him at the bland little shop. After all the secrecy behind their travel to the mysterious headquarters of Urahara, Naruto expected much more that stepping through some strange portal and popping into an alley that led to this small store. He the turned to the proudly smiling Tessai and smirking Kisuke. He turned back to the shop, then back to the duo with a completely befuddled expression on his face. He repeated this for several seconds before throwing up his hands in exasperation.
"I thought you were supposed to be the head of some big science division in Spirit World, why the hell are we at some lame store?" blurted Naruto.
Urahara opened up his fan and waved it in front of his face while giggling, "Science? I no idea what you're talking about. I'm merely an honest, handsome, perverted businessman."
Naruto nearly ripped his hair out in frustration, "Not another one...well he couldn't possibly be as bad as Ero-Sennin."
His musing were interrupted by Tessai as the large man grabbed the blond by the shoulders, facing Naruto with tears running out the corners of his eyes, "Is the shop really that lame?"
Naruto waved his hands in a placating manner, "Uh no. I was just surprised, it is a nice shop. Very inviting!"
Tessai's demeanor did a complete 180, "Oh! Thank you!"
'These guys are nuts!' thought Naruto as he shook his head.
"I prefer the term eccentric." stated Urahara with another giggle.
Naruto glared at him, 'Definitely nuts.'
As Tessai opened the door to the shop, Naruto was forced to duck as a box and a soccer ball shot through the space his head previously occupied.
"GOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAALLLLLL!" roared a short boy with red hair that jumped in front of them holding a broom as he pumped his fist in the air while his eyes were closed.
"Jinta, you should have stopped playing around. They're back." said Ururu as she went to retrieve the box. Jinta opened his eyes forming a dumbfounded expression that quickly switched to irritation as he chased after Ururu with his broom.
"You should have said something earlier!" he yelled while trying to shove the broom into her hair.
Naruto, Kisuke and Tessai merely stepped inside the shop and went about their business as if nothing happened. Naruto's communicator suddenly beeped, and the blond pulled it out his jacket pocket to see what Botan wanted, but he found himself facing an irritated Koenma instead.
"Yo!" greeted Naruto not knowing what else to say.
"Don't you yo me! What the hell are you doing leaving your post at the academy!" yelled an irate Koenma.
"Whoa! I didn't ditch! I'm helping out your brother with something." replied Naruto. This response only seemed to infuriate the toddler even more as his face turned red and steam poured off him in rage.
"KISUKE!" roared Koenma.
Naruto turned and handed the communicator to Urahara who was trying to sneak away. "Here, it's for you." deadpanned Naruto.
"Hey little bro! How goes things?" greeted Kisuke as he rubbed the brim of his hat.
"Don't hey me! You better return my detective in one piece or there will be hell to pay!" threatened Koenma.
"I thought you were informed of this already? I sent a messenger." replied Kisuke as he scratched his head.
"Sorry about that, I just got here." replied a deep masculine voice. The unperturbed face of a black cat cut in front of Koenma, "I got a little sidetracked on my way here."
"You did this on purpose, didn't you Yoruichi?" deadpanned Kisuke.
"Yes." replied the cat with a flat look as it licked its paw.
Koenma cut back in front of the cat shaking his fist at Kisuke, "None of your weird experiments or else..."
Kisuke snorted, not intimidated by his brothers threat one bit, "Or else what?"
Koenma sported a devious grin, "Dad is still interesting in knowing what happened to his favorite..."
Kisuke cut him off. "Alright! Alright! I'll be good. No funky experiments!...That I haven't already planned," thinking the last part to himself.
The door to Koenma's office then slammed open, startling the toddler momentarily.
"Lord Koenma sir! I've got the report on what was stolen during the break in, and how the breach occurred." shouted a blue ogre as he rushed into Koenma's office with a stack of papers.
Koenma sighed as he flipped through them before suddenly adopting a very sly smile, "Well, well, well...it seems someone forgot to secure his lab properly when he dropped by to gather materials a few weeks ago."
"That wasn't me, I sent Jinta, Ururu and Yoruichi. Dad hadn't left for vacation yet." replied Kisuke.
"Semantics...One of your old inventions, the time dilation accelerator, was stolen." continued Koenma.
"The device creates portals to transverse the human world, and small portals that allow low class demons to crossover from Demon world. It's obsolete, what's the big deal?" questioned Kisuke.
"It was stolen by an escaped convict, Macendale aka the Hobgoblin." answered Koenma with a smug look.
Kisuke just stared ahead blankly for several moments before responding, "Well...Shit."
"Since Yusuke is off training with GenKai, and you're borrowing my other Spirit Detective, you're in charge of cleaning this mess up. Call it payment for doing whatever it is you were going to do. Bye Bye!" Koenma waved before the screen went blank.
"To quote a wise man: That baby is too damn troublesome. What's so bad about this Macendale guy?" asked Naruto.
Kisuke let out a sigh before shaking his head, "It's best we head downstairs for the explanation. Let's just say it's complicated. Tessai, it looks like we'll be closing up early today."
"Should I request for a few extra hands on deck?" asked the tall man.
Kisuke shrugged as he flipped him Naruto's communicator, "Go ahead."
"Wait a minute you never answered my question before. Why are you stationed here? Wouldn't it be more convenient to be located in Spirit World?" asked Naruto.
Urahara was bout to launch into a complicated explanation, but Tessai beat him to the punch, "After accidentally blowing up King Yemma's office for the umpteenth time, his father banned him from performing experiments and research for 200 years. This is currently year 37."
Naruto winced at the idea of a 200 year ban, "Ouch."
Kisuke shrugged, "Eh, little brother still gets spanked. It's him you should feel sorry for."
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After the ogre's departure, Koenma was interrupted again as Botan rushed into his office nearly out of breath, "Sir, I couldn't get a hold of the headmaster, he's away for the moment. As for Naruto, he only let a note saying he'd be out for a few days. It looks like we'll have to pull Yusuke from his training early."
Koenma waved off her concern, "Don't worry about it. I've already located him. It seems my brother decided to borrow him for an assignment. I gave the goblin problem to him since Naruto is currently under his employ."
"Oh." Botan scratched the back of her head with a sheepish expression. "Now I feel bad for giving those two girls the third degree about Naruto's whereabouts."
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A shiver suddenly ran down Naruto's spine, 'For some reason, I feel like I should take a couple weeks off before heading back to school.'
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Back at the academy both Kurumu and Moka stood outside of Naruto's room fuming, the note he'd left on his door torn to pieces.
"Who the hell does that hussy think she is?" screeched Kurumu.
"Who cares? What's her relationship with Naruto-kun?" growled Moka.
'You've got some explaining to do Na-ru-to!' thought both girls as they gave of an aura that promised pure pain to anyone who came near.
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"You sure you weren't so harsh on them because his two closest friends happened to be really cute girls?" deadpanned Yoruichi.
Botan turned away with huff to hide the blush forming on her face, "I have no idea what you're talking about. The very thing you're insinuating would be completely unprofessional."
"Well, then you won't mind if perhaps, I take over as his spirit detective assistant? Baby-sitting Kisuke get's boring, you seem to have your hands full with your other charge." replied the cat casually.
Botan leveled it with a glare before smirking, "That won't be necessary. I'm perfectly capable of fulfilling my duties. Besides this job is beneath someone with your vast amounts of experience."
"Are you calling me old?" retorted the cat with a harsh tone.
"Well if the shoe fits..." stated Botan nonchalantly.
"That's it-" Koenma grabbed Yoruichi before the cat could leap after Botan with its claws extended.
"Quiet!" reprimanded the toddler, before he turned back to the video screen. "Now go ahead Tessai."
"Yes sir. We wondering if you had anyone available to send as back up, since this will probably get a little messy."
"Oh, I don't know..." whined Koenma as he tugged on his hat. "Yusuke is still in the middle of his training. I don't think we have anybody else."
"Sir, you can always call in Kurama. Hiei is available as well." suggested Botan.
"Fine, you two track them down and escort them to my brother's shop. This is his show to run." replied Koenma.
"Thank you sir!" responded Tessai before he vanished from the screen.
X-X-X-X-X-X
"Now let's head down to my lab..." murmured Kisuke.
"Wait a minute, I thought you were banned from research?" questioned Naruto with a raised eyebrow.
"Technically, but lets just say I'm banned from using my more advanced facilities up in spirit world. For the old man it's more like out of site, out of mind." replied Kisuke as they stepped up to a plain looking door. Kisuke flipped up a plaque to the side of the door, revealing a red panel that scanned his eye. The panel turned green and the door slid back to reveal an elevator. The duo stepped inside and Kisuke pressed a button on the elevator panel, sending the carriage towards his basement lab. Naruto gave his fellow blond a flat look as cheesy elevator music played while Kisuke tapped his cane to the beat. The scientist started bobbing his head to the beat of the music, oblivious to everything around him. The elevator came to a halt a few moments later and with a 'ding', the door opened. Kisuke exited and walked over towards his main workstation, while Naruto marveled at the size of the place.
'How in the hell did they get all this down here and how did they get this room to be so big?' thought the ex-ninja as he surveyed the facility. It was lined wall to wall with various monitors and devices all circling around a central computer
"The wonders of spirit world technology." commented Kisuke as if reading his mind. "There's another room that's even bigger than this one."
Kisuke took a seat and punched a few keys on the console at the central work station booting up the system. A few seconds later female holographic figure appeared hovering next to him. The mechanical parts of her android-like body was colored in with white light.
(A/N: Kisuke's set up is basically the same as Tom's work station on Toonami circa 2003-2007. RIP Toonami)
"Good Afternoon Kisuke." greeted the female hologram.
"I love this lab. Hello, Sara." replied Kisuke with a grin.
Naruto was almost drooling at the site of her, "Cool!"
"Please bring up the files on Norman Osbourne." ordered Kisuke.
Sarah reached up the screen moving a few things around on it, before pulling up the file and reading from it.
"Norman Osbourne: Deceased. Formerly a scientist under Spirit World Research and Development Division. Personnel file notes he was a very talented scientist, but also very ambitious. Most notable project is an attempted development of a serum to provide enhanced abilities to the human race. Back when Spirit World was still searching for a solution to controlling the mixing of the populations of demons and humans in the human world, Norman developed the first version of his serum. The serum was supposed to introduce advanced physical capabilities into the human race, so they would naturally have the abilities to protect themselves from demon predators, essentially evening the battle field. The advances included increased agility, strength, speed, stamina, and dexterity, as well as a "healing factor". Some subjects showed increases in intellect as well. The first batch of the serum was rejected due to the side affects it caused in animal test subjects. Side affects included a 50% mortality rate, a severely shortened normal life span, and psychosis. With the eventual separation of the two worlds, both King Yemma and Kisuke ordered the abandonment of the project. Osbourne decided to continue working on it in secret trying to perfect the formula. A few years ago he tried to reintroduce the serum as part of a super soldier plan he developed to increase the capabilities of the Spirit World defense Force. Along with a new formula, Osbourne presented a set of weapons to further enhance the capabilities of new soldiers. The proposal was rejected by Kisuke, due to continued flaws with the serum and impracticality of the weapons. While the mortality rate decreased to less that 0.01%, along with there no longer being a reduction in life span, side affects of Psychosis still remained. In a last ditch attempt to provide evidence for his research, Osbourne attempted to test his serum on a low level demon in spirit world custody for violating several laws."
Sara paused as she moved a few things around, bringing up a new file next to the current one before continuing.
"This is the subject's profile prior to the administration of the serum. Subject: Jason Macendale, borderline E/D-Rank Demon. Known accomplice of the Toguro brothers, suspected in several cases of grand theft. Only notable skills involve stealth, explaining occupation as a thief."
Kisuke continued from here, "Macendale while a good thief, physical strength wise was as close to a regular human as Norman could get. Norman injected the serum, but was failed by a clerical error."
Naruto was lost, "Huh?"
"His dosage was off by a factor of ten. I checked his math afterward, he did everything but put the decimal in the right place. Ten times the expected amount temporarily transformed Macendale into a mid B-Ranked Berserker. He killed Norman and trashed the lab in a fit of rage before his rational mind seemingly returned. He then raided the armory of weapons and supplies Norman prepared before fleeing. In an attempt to separate himself from his previous identity, Macendale donned a Halloween mask along with some armor he stole, calling himself the Hobgoblin. "
"So what's his deal?" asked Naruto.
"While his strength evened out to a borderline C/B Rank level, Macendale received a great boost in intelligence from his transformation. Before being apprehended, he was able successfully recreate Osbourne's serum and stash it in a secret location. His master plan was eventually to travel to demon world using lower doses of the serum to create a goblin army, and using it to take over the Human underworld as a crime lord." explained Sara.
"So that's why he went after that time thing. You said it allowed for low level demons to cross over. He's using it to build his army." surmised Naruto.
"Once he makes himself known, we will have to divide our forces between neutralizing the army, and taking down Macendale." stated Urahara.
"Sweet. This should at least keep me out of school for a week! Well, since we're going to be taking down an entire army, what's the new ability you were talking about?" asked Naruto while rubbing his hands together as his face formed an ear splitting grin.
Naruto immediately regretted his question at the insane look that formed on Kisuke's face, "Oh, yes! Now the real fun begins! Sara prepare to containment unit..."
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"Oww!" Naruto quickly pulled his hand back from the faucet as he retrieving a small static shock.
"Fucking geta-boshi..." growled Naruto as he leaned back over the bathroom sink, splashing his face with water. He'd just lost 24 hours of his life he would never get back. After seeing the insane grin on Kisuke's face, he immediately turned to flee only to be knocked out cold by Tessai. Supposedly they needed him unconscious to enable whatever ability they were trying to give him, but Naruto just thought it was an excuse for the creepy bastard to run all sorts of tests and experiments on him. He didn't feel any different, so he didn't believe that they actually did anything. Naruto proceeded to get dressed into some combat appropriate attire. To his horror Tessai offered him some a dark green spandex suit, that he was thankfully able to avoid wearing since he had a hidden seal in his suit containing his new version combat gear. It consisted of a thin black vest lined with flexible armor over top a dark blue long sleeve shirt, some black cargo pants, and a dark blue elastic headband with some visor style protective sunglasses. The outfit was laced with hidden seals thanks to his father, that provided easy access to a variety of tools and weapons. After getting dressed and sealing his school clothes away he exited the bathroom only to get shocked again as he grabbed the doorknob to close the door.
"What the fuck. That's like the fourth time. Shitty carpet...can we get some hardwood floors around here people?" grumbled Naruto as he strolled down the hallway to come face to face with two surprising figures.
"I know you got released Kurama, but Hiei?" questioned Naruto.
"Koenma likes to think of it as a work release program." replied Kurama with a smile as he shook Naruto's hand.
"Basically, you two got conned into joining my and Yusuke's little club. Welcome to the shittiest job in the world. The pay is crap, but we do get dental." deadpanned Naruto.
Hiei snorted, "More like we have to cover for your shortcomings."
"I'd watch that mouth of yours midget." retorted Naruto.
"As lovely as this little reunion is, we've got work to do." chimed Botan from behind him, preventing a fight between the two.
"Hey Botan-" Naruto went to greet her, but the blue haired grim reaper let out a 'hmph' before she rudely turned and stomped away from him.
"What the hell has got her panties up in a bunch?' grumbled Naruto. He then felt something land on his shoulder, and turned to face a black cat, that surprisingly spoke to him.
"She's been in a mood ever since she went to track you down at the school of yours." the cat stated.
Naruto merely stared blankly at it, completely ignoring what it said in favor of asking a question, "You wouldn't happen to know a Kakashi Hatake would you?"
The cat snorted before leaping off his shoulder and following after Botan, "Baka..."
The trio followed after them into the front room of the shop, where the waited for the rest of their ragtag crew.
"So we got what? A couple of ex-cons, a couple midgets, a creepy old perv and his butler, a fake cat, and a guy playing hooky? This is my kind of team!" declared Naruto.
Botan coughed, "Aren't you forgetting someone?"
Naruto waved her off, "No. It's not like your going to do any fighting, your just going to sit back point out things while looking pretty."
He was rewarding by a swat to the back of the head courtesy of her oar, "Jerk!"
"It was supposed to be a compliment." he grumbled.
"What did you mean by fake cat?" asked Yoruichi.
He gave her a flat look and formed a hand sign, "Really? Do you really want to play this game?"
Th cat narrowed its eyes at him, "I dare you."
"Fine. KAI!" the cat vanished in a puff of smoke as Naruto released the transformation. When it cleared it revealed the fully nude form of the dark skinned goddess blowing a kiss towards Naruto. She was rewarded with the three males in the room shooting back into the wall and passing out with massive nosebleeds.
"Do you have no shame?" groaned Botan.
"Clothes are way to constricting." complained Yoruicihi as she stretched her body out.
The blue haired girl shook her head, "Ururu, could you bring a spare change of clothes in here! Oh and a mop!"
After reviving the trio and cleaning up the mess, all hands on deck regrouped down in Urahara's lab. Kisuke starting going through a list of the weapons and accessories possibly in the possession of Macendale and his growing organization. He then ran through a list of the top possible suggested hideouts, informing them of his plan to split into teams each making a move on the suspected locations. However, all this planning went out the window when Sara brought a live news feed to their attention. Hundreds of figures in hooded orange cloaks wearing goblin masks were scattered around the city causing chaos. Some where rioting in the streets just destroying everything in their way, while others were looting various businesses and banks.
"Well this throws my plan out the window, looks like were going to have to bust out the neuralizers on this one." complained Urahara with a sigh.
"Neuralizers?" asked Naruto.
"It's a flashy thingy that makes you forget stuff. I ripped it off from that Men in Black movie, much easier than the old method." explained Kisuke.
The group quickly gathered the needed weapons and tools before moving out.
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After departing from Urahara Shoten the group split up into two factions. Naruto, Hiei, and Kurama set out trying to track down Macendale with Kisuke's list of locations, wiping out any of his forces they came across in the process, while Kisuke and company moved about the city wiping out the Hobgoblin's forces. So far the trio had scouted the locations plus several of the shadier districts of the city with nothing to show for their efforts besides disposing of some grunts. At Hiei's suggestion they decided to scout from the rooftops of the docks he previously used as a base of operations. Through pure luck they came across an abandoned warehouse where they spied about two dozen goblin thugs lurking around. After monitoring them for a few minutes, it became obvious who the leader of the crew was as he entered the warehouse leaving the others outside. Naruto, Hiei, and Kurama took this as their cue, dropping down to make quick work of the thugs. Using his Jagan eyes, Naruto captured all the grunts in an illusion, while Hiei and Kurama cut them down before the realized what was going on. As the leader exited the warehouse, Hiei grabbed the demon before the trio vanished, reappearing on the rooftop of the warehouse with Hiei holding him over the side of the building by his throat.
"Tell us where your boss is before my arm gets tired." threatened Hiei. The demon made no response, only squirming in his grip trying to free himself.
"You are far too green to interrogation Hiei. This requires a more delicate approach." Kurama grabbed their prisoner and used his rose whip to restrain prisoner in a painful manner on the floor of the roof, only to be held back by Naruto.
"Actually I think green is the exact approach we need here." stated Naruto as he formed two clones who in turn, performed the transformation technique. "Behold, the power of youth..."
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Up in Spirit World Jiraiya felt a shiver go down his spine, 'Have mercy on the poor soul that brat is interrogating. Even Ibiki wasn't that cruel...'
X-X-X-X-X-X
"... and He's usually lurking around his command center at the abandoned commercial district between the docks and the train station. We're organized into ten squadrons, each operating out of a different location. There's supposed to be a big meet, between all the crews in a few days at HQ. That's all I know, I swear!" the thug was panting heavily as he stared up at them in fear.
Naruto, Kurama, and Hiei all gave each other a look before Naruto nodded to his clones, "LEE-"
"And I wet the bed till I was twelve! That's it I swear!" cried out the Demon.
"Alright put them away." ordered Kurama as a snickering Naruto dispelled the two youthful clones.
"Your services are no longer required." stated Hiei as with a flame covered fist, he reduced the demon to ash.
"Now what?" asked Naruto. Before anyone could respond to the question, the trio suddenly vanished from the rooftop as seconds later a flaming projectile nailed the roof and exploded.
"Well, well, well...look what we have here? Three little rats intruding on my operation." Circling overhead was a costumed freak on some kind of powered purple glider. His bizarre costume consisted of a purple spandex suit underneath a light green armored vest accompanied by some orange gloves, boots, and a hooded cloak. The creepiest thing was his mask that almost appeared to be his real face with its glowing red eyes.
"Looks like we've found the boss." stated Hiei.
"What's up with the Halloween get up?" questioned Naruto.
The goblin overheard him. "For centuries, the hobgoblin has been a symbol for irrational fear and terror! This face will be the last thing all my enemies see before they die!" he exclaimed while cackling with glee. Trying to take advantage of the distraction, Naruto launched a few kunai ad shuriken at the Hobgoblin, only for him to dodge the projectiles easily. Kurama followed up by trying to strike him down with his rose whip, only for the slicing attacks of the plant whip to be easily avoided. Using his speed, Hiei got a running start as he leaped into the air try to reach the glider using Kurama's attack as distraction, but the glider separated into two parts. Hiei missed completely as the hobgoblin flew up on the upper piece, while the lower part of the glider swooped around a fired several spinning buzz-saws at Hiei. The short dark haired demon was forced to deflect with his sword in mid air. The hobgoblin made a beeline for Naruto, tapping his glider to fire a couple of pumpkin missiles at Naruto, who managed to dodge one, but was hit by the other.
"One down!" roared the laughing hobgoblin, but his celebrating was cut short as he saw the smoking remains of Naruto vanish in a puff of smoke. He immediately veered to his left dodged a pair of Naruto clones flying through the air at him with dual Rasengans.
"Well aren't you a tricky one..." the Hobgoblin commented as he flew around to observe a group of Narutos who where continuously launching clones at him. He launched a few bombs at their spot, putting an end to the operation as the original was forced to flee the location.
"We've got to get him off that glider somehow. As long as he's on it, we're at a disadvantage." said Kurama as Hiei launched a series of mortal flamethrower attacks at the Hobgoblin. As he went into some fancy flying maneuvers to avoid Hiei's blasts of fire, Kurama moved to find an opening while he was distracted. The redhead drew the rose whip and whipped it around him in a circle, causing rose petals to scatter about. The spinning whip formed a wheel which unleashed three crescent shaped slicing energy blasts. With his attention on Hiei's attacks the Hobgoblin didn't react until the three attacks were almost on top of him. He turned to fly straight up in the air, and missed two of the attacks, but the third sliced through his triceps and gashed his side.
"Dammit!" growled the Hobgoblin as he paused in midair. The distraction caused by his pain would prove to be costly. Naruto had moved to a roof with a water tower and after drilling a hole in it with the rasengan, he waited for the goblin to give him an opening. When he paused in midair, Naruto unleashed a Water Style: Water Fang Bullet that nailed the tough aerial foe in the chest and sent him flying off his glider. Kurama and Hiei rushed toward his landing spot to capitalize only for the second glider swoop around and catch their fallen foe and speed away from the area.
"You haven't seen the last of me!" growled the beaten up hobgoblin as he chucked a giant pumpkin bomb towards them that exploded in midair releasing tons of green smoke to cover his escape.
Hiei snorted, "True, but we know you're pretty much nothing without your toys."
Naruto wasn't so jubilant, "Yeah, but look at how hard it was for us just to knock him off that damn thing one time, and it was 3 on 1."
Kurama agreed, "The next time we face him, it will be much more difficult."
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With a mighty swing of his Kanabo, Jinta sent another two goblins flying, "HOME RUN!"
Next to him, Ururu and Yoruichi blurred through the massive pack of unorganized goblins, picking taking them down with ease. From hire ground Kisuke with blasts from his cane, and Tessai using Kido spells, were picking of the leaders of the goblin army one by one.
"It looks like this is the last of them. The rest of them seem to be retreating." called out Botan as she flew in overhead.
"About time. We've been running circles around them for hours." complained Yoruichi. In a matter of seconds the group wiped out the last of the nearly 1500 goblins that had been causing ruckus in the downtown district. As soon as everything was clear, people started coming of their hiding spots with bewildered looks on their faces.
"Can I gather everyone's attention over here please? Over here!" shouted Urahara as all the people who came out of hiding and gathered around him. "Now we're just going to do a quick thermal scan of the area and get a head count to make sure everyone is alright. If you could all just focus on this device in my hand here and we will get started."
As Kisuke held the neuralizer out in front of him, he and the rest of the team all seemingly pulled sunglasses out of nowhere and put them on.
"Now just wait for the flash, and one...two...three! Thank you for participating in today's public safety drill, were this an actual emergency you would probably all be dead right now. Read up on your emergency evacuation plans people! That is all." Kisuke tucked the neuralizer back into his pocket as they prepared to vacate the area.
"Must you always use the public safety gag?" deadpanned Yoruichi.
"Hey most people are stupid enough already, if we're going to fill their minds with something, let's at least make it easier for the smart people to survive their stupidity." retorted Kisuke.
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"Your performance certainly did leave a lot to be desired." commented Kisuke as he watched footage on their fight with the Hobgoblin back within the friendly confines of his lab.
Naruto shrugged in response, "True, but it was our first time working together, and that damn glider is a pain in the ass. Without it he's toast."
"That, or if you had something that enhanced your long range and aerial combat abilities." said Kisuke.
"What? You got a pair of hover boots and a boomerang laying around here or something?" retorted an indignant Naruto.
"Or something." replied a giggling Urahara as he waved his fan in front of his face.
"Well let's see it geta-boshi." demanded Naruto.
"Your going to have to go back in the containment chamber again. I'm going to need to borrow your gloves for a few hours." explained Urahara.
"You're just looking for an excuse-" Naruto was cut off as a chop to the neck from Tessai knocked him out could.
Kisuke rubbed his chin as he chuckled while looking at the blond with even more interest, "Its like your presence is completely blocked from his senses, you were there for a good 15 minutes this time and he didn't sense you. We'll have to test that out too..."
X-X-X-X-X-X
A few days later Hiei and Kurama found themselves hidden amongst the shadows near the rooftops of the abandoned commercial district. The duo had not seen Naruto since they extracted the information about the meet a few days ago, mostly working in tandem with the other residents of Urahara Shoten to counteract the various strikes by the hobgoblin's forces throughout the city.
"Is this a private party or can anyone join?" joked Naruto as he appeared next to them.
Hiei raised an eyebrow, "Just where the hell have you been hiding out?"
Naruto smirked, "I've been training."
The short demon snorted at his response, "Just what could you possibly accomplish with only three days of training?"
"You'd be surprised." vaguely responded Naruto.
Kurama then spotted a trio of goblins move down an alley headed towards the entrance of their target building, "Let's move."
The trio vanished from their positions and incapacitated each of the goblins with ease. Hiei and Kurama quickly fitted themselves with Goblin cloaks and masks while Naruto simply used Henge before summoning a few shadow clones to get rid of the goons they just knocked out. With their disguises complete, they all went inside.
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The Hobgoblin sat behind a huge desk equipped with various monitors and viewing globes as he preached out to all the soldiers at his command.
"Thanks to those Spirit World fools I have everything I need to build my own empire. A unlimited army of soldiers at my command, the Black-Black club won't know what hit them. All this at my command, all thanks to that fool Osbourne! HAHAHAHA! For years there have rumors that all the criminal activity all over the globe was controlled from one location. No longer will they be mere rumors! I will seize control of the criminal underworld and become the Kingpin! HAHAHAHA!"
"Didn't he just rip that speech straight from a comic book?" commented one of the goblins up front.
"Had to, no self respecting villain is that corny." replied the one next to him as the three infiltrators all abandoned their disguises.
"You fools! How did you find me!" demanded the Hobgoblin.
"Through the flames of youth!" mocked a chuckling Naruto.
"No matter, it was a big mistake to challenge me on my home turf. I'll make sure it's your last!" The Hobgoblin pressed a button and immediately his desk sunk into the ground via a trap door, as the walls in the room slid back to reveal a two even bigger hordes of armed goblin soldiers while tiles panels on the roof flipped back to reveal canons launching pumpkin bombs.
"I'll cover for you guys, take down those cannons!" yelled Naruto as he formed and army of shadow clones to combat the goblins. Hiei and Kurama jumped into action swiftly dodging a volley of pumpkin bombs as the quickly worked to cut down the four canons with their sword and rose whip respectively. While the Narutos were easily cutting down the goblin soldiers, every time they seem to wipe one wave out another appeared. Naruto decided to take a different approach, sending half of his clones scrambling around the area, littering the walls with explosive tags.
"Follow me!" he shouted to Hiei and Kurama. The duo followed him out of a broken window, leaping onto a lower rooftop as Naruto formed a hand-sign in midair.
"Katsu!" he whispered as the building behind them exploded.
"While that was sufficient to eliminate those thugs, I believe the leader will be much more difficult." stated Kurama as the trio watched the burning building.
"How right you are." the group turned around to face the Hobgoblin hovering above them. "I've got some new toys just for you!" He tapped a button on the glider with his foot, unleashing a volley of pumpkin missiles at them.
"Looks like the same shit to me." blurted an unimpressed Naruto as the three fighters vanished from their positions. However, instead of exploding like they expected, the six missiles veered of before flying after the three fighters at their new positions.
"How do you like my smart bombs!" gloated the Hobgoblin as he fired some spinning buzz-saws to make things even more difficult. Hiei and Kurama moved into opposite directions, hopping from rooftop to rooftop trying to shake free from the missiles to no avail. Both suddenly gave each other a look, before turning and heading straight at each other. Right before the duo came face to face, they dropped down flat against the rooftops forcing the bombs to collide with one another and detonate. Naruto had the same idea, but instead used the Hobgoblin as his target, running straight at the hovering foe and leaping right at him. Realizing the goblin would move if he got too close, the blond substituted himself in midair with a log covered in explosive tags trying to make the bang big enough to take out his target.
"Fire in the hole!" shouted Naruto, causing Hiei and Kurama to hit the deck as the explosion took a chunk from the roof of an adjacent building.
"You punks are just as crazy as I am." grumbled the Hobgoblin as he crawled out from underneath some heavy debris. He had used his glider to shield himself from the explosion, which knocked him through a wall into a neighboring parking structure. The smaller more agile portion of his dual glider was trashed, but it was worth the sacrifice since the bulkier portion contained the heavier artillery. Hoping back on the glider, he blasted a hole in the wall and zoomed out to take his frustrations out Naruto and company. Naruto anticipated his survival of the explosion and was poised to strike. The blond channeled some chakra into his fingerless gloves, causing them to expand and cover his fingers while also lengthening down his wrist. A white square shaped seal appeared on the back of both his hands and the base of both his wrists. Electricity covered his hands as the white seals glowed and an expanded fumma shuriken appeared in each hand. After seemingly charging the disks with lightning for a few seconds the blond took aim and fired. The Hobgoblin dropped down a few feet in the air, allowing the two shurikens to sail over his head harmlessly, before he could mock Naruto for his poor aim, the shurikens curved around before making a beeline right towards him again.
"Shit, it looks like you brought some new toys as well." growled the Hobgoblin as he took off around the edge of a building ducking into an alleyway, before cutting across the top of another building with the shurikens hot on his tail. Hiei and Kurama appeared next to Naruto, glad that he finally managed to put their opponent on the run.
"Where'd you pick up this trick?" questioned Hiei.
"It's what me an geta-boshi have been working on the past few days. I should be thanking you, that cut with the shadow sword made all this possible." responded Naruto as he guided the shuriken around the twists and turns of several alleys in pursuit of their foe.
"Your demon energy, it's lightning nature. He must have tweaked you're bio-chemistry somewhat, to allow you to tap into a portion of it resulting in these electromagnetic abilities." surmised Kurama.
"Nerd." deadpanned Naruto."Yeah something like that. Geta-boshi had this elaborate plan for me to be swinging from the rooftops by electrified ninja wire like some crazy spider or something. This is much more my style, but enough chit-chat. I've got him on the run, find an opening!" shouted Naruto as he forced their opponent back up to rooftop level. With his focus completely on the two supercharged discs of desk on his tail, two clones where able to get the jump on him and actually board the glide, one on each side. Maintaining his position, the Goblin managed to bend back and a nearly impossible angle having the two attacking clones dispel each other.
"That bastard is surprisingly agile..." grumbled Naruto as his clones memories returned to him. He tried to force the Goblin towards an area where Hiei or Kurama could take him down, but the Halloween themed villain was a crafty flier on his glider despite its bulky size. Just when it appeared they had him cornered, the bastard would pull of a nearly impossible nosedive or barrel roll to avoid the trap.
'I just learned how to do this, I can't keep it up forever,' thought Naruto as a bead of sweat trickled down his forehead. 'Time for plan B.'
Naruto poured more power into the two shurikens, speeding them up significantly at the sacrifice of some maneuverability. After a few minutes the Hobgoblin recognized this as well, and put a plan into action to rid himself of the two nuisances on his tail. Pulling out of he steep dive, the goblin flew straight up until he just above the level of most rooftops in the area and made a beeline straight at the tallest, sturdiest building he could find.
'Now's my chance!' thought the Hobgoblin.
Right as it seemed he was going to crash into the building the goblin back flipped off his glider, allowing the two fuuma shurikens to buzz right underneath his head and embed themselves deep into a concrete layer of a building.
"You'll have to do better than that sparky!" gloated the laughing Hobgoblin as his glider swooped around and caught him. His celebration was short lived, for as he rounded the corner of the building, he was clothes lined by several lines of ninja wire, tangling himself between them.
"Oh fuck me." grumbled the Hobgoblin as he out of the corner of his eye he spotted a couple of Naruto clones about to reach out and grab the wire, their hands sparking with electricity.
"GRAAAH! AAH! WHAAAH! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"
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"Come on we're all gentleman here? Perhaps we can talk this out? It's all just a big misunderstanding!" pleaded the Hobgoblin. Said demon was bound up tight with ninja wire, being dragged along by a pair of Naruto clones behind Hiei, Kurama, and the original Naruto.
"Sure, no problem. Misunderstandings happen all the time! Sometimes even the smallest misunderstanding can be quite shocking." replied Naruto with a friendly grin as he grabbed the restraints.
"WRURGAAAHHHH!" screamed the demonic villain in pain as massive currents of electricity tore through his body.
Naruto got right in the face of the convulsing demon sporting an insane grin, "You see thanks to you I'm planning on opening up this new restaurant, NFG:Naruto Fried Goblin. With all the product you've provided, we should be worldwide in a couple months."
Kurama doubled over in laughter and surprisingly even Hiei grinned, "I'm surprised Koenma had the guts to give this job to someone like you." The short demon picked up the still smoking body of the hobgoblin and sped up ahead.
"Huh?" muttered a puzzled Naruto.
Kurama chuckled, "I think he likes you now, you're just as cruel as he is."
"Well that's a shame." responded Naruto.
Kurama raised an eyebrow at this, "Hmm?"
"I don't really care about the opinions of people who aren't tall enough to ride carnival rides." replied a smirking Naruto.
Kurama could barely hold back his laughter, "Ah, a shame it is then."
"Indeed." added Naruto.
A/N: Another chapter in the books. Good times. Review or Urahara will experiment on you in your sleep!