Disclaimer: I don't own anything
Along Came a Spider
Inner Moka felt a euphoric warmth envelope her body as she drank her fill of Naruto's blood. Something had changed with the blond's blood since she personally was last able to get a taste. It was richer, far more fulfilling and even slightly revitalizing. She could see why her other self was experiencing slight withdrawal symptoms while adjusting to this new blood. While Moka was quickly becoming thoroughly satisfied, Naruto was highly annoyed. At first he didn't care so much about her drinking his blood, the way she would drape herself all over him to feed was a nice added bonus. He also simply let her have way because Outer Moka was too damn cute to say no to, and because Inner Moka was too damn hot and likely to kick his ass and take her fill anyway.
'Well shit, she was stronger than me before. Now that I'm back on top of my game, not so much. She's still physically strong, but that's just raw skill, no training. I can make my own rules now.' thought Naruto. "Hey from now own, no more freebies on using me as a snack. If you want food you're going to have to offer something in return."
Inner Moka raised an eyebrow as she broke away from him in slight surprise. After licking the blood off of her fangs, she started to chuckle. The chuckle soon morphed in full blown laughter until she moved around to face the blond and caught the look in his eye.
"You're serious aren't you?" she asked with a slightly amazed tone.
Now it was his turn to raise an eyebrow at her, "Of course I am."
She moved close to his body and grasped his arm, smashing it against her chest, "Oh? And what perhaps did you have in mind for this little exchange? A little more intimacy between the two of us?"
Naruto couldn't hold back the grin that formed across his face, "I was thinking more along the lines of a sparring partner, but whatever you feel is appropriate."
"Whatever I feel is appropriate, hmm?" she said as reached up and peeled back his sunglasses. Looking into his eyes she leaned towards his face and just as they both closed their eyes the silver haired vampire nailed him with one of her trade mark kicks.
"I like the backbone, but I'm the top of the food chain here. Know your place!" she declared.
The kick sent the blond flying through some trees. Several branches snapped against his body as he flew back and hit the ground before skidding along the rocky soil to a stop.
"Damn!" groaned Naruto as he rolled over onto his back. "That brings back memories, felt like a baa-chan hit. That was one of her trademark setups for the old perv too, I should have known better."
He slowly staggered to his feet before looking himself over. He immediately discarded his torn up jacket and shirt, leaving himself in only a wife beater tank top along with his pants and shoes. His normal sunglasses had fallen off somewhere along the way, but he paid it no mine. Despite his eyes being full revealed he had no plans on using the Jagan in this fight. This simply wasn't that kind of battle. He teleported via shunshin from the middle of the trees back into the clearing with Moka.
"You know, when you do those high leg kicks, it gives your opponent a great view." stated Naruto offhandedly.
"It seems you have yet to learn your place." Moka absentmindedly twirled some of her silver locks as she appreciatively took in the sight of a nearly shirtless Naruto.
"When we first met, I wasn't myself entirely. I let you do as you please then. Things have changed now, you want something from me, you have to earn it." declared Naruto.
Moka's eyes narrowed at this, "You dare to claim to be my equal?"
"I'm not making a claim..." stated Naruto as he activated the seals on his gloves. Moka stared at him impassively until she felt the power start roll off of him in waves. An aura of blue and white electricity surrounded his body and he suddenly vanished in a flash of white.
"I'm stating a fact." before she even comprehend what was happening, Naruto reappeared right in front of her, striking her stomach with a palm thrust and sending her flying into the trees. "Static Body: First Release!"
The silver-haired vampire slammed violently into a sturdy tree trunk, back first, creating a deep body indentation. The blow was far more powerful and far faster than anything she anticipated. After taking a moment to regather her senses, she removed herself from the tree.
'It's been a while since I face someone on this level. I let my guard down too easily.' thought Moka. She then looked down to where he had struck her body and found her skin had some burns that just started healing. 'Not only has his speed and strength increased, he's now harmful to the touch. This new power must be from his true nature. It also explains why his blood became so much richer. What is this feeling of excitement coming over me?'
Moka smirked before vanishing from sight. She reappeared behind Naruto with a large tree trunk in her arms swinging it at him like a bat. Naruto reacted at the last second shielding himself with his arms, causing the tree to splinter on contact with him. The force of the blow was still strong enough to knock him on his ass.
"Ah fuck!" cursed Naruto as his head slammed violently into the ground. He quickly rolled away to dodge a heel slam from Moka. Naruto flipped to his feet and lashed out with a sweeping kick that took Moka's legs out from beneath her. Moka's skirt flipped up revealing her black lace underwear and providing Naruto with a major distraction. Moka capitalized on him staring at her with a glazed expression by nailing him a with a spinning kick to the face.
"That was so not fair!" roared Naruto as he stormed back towards her.
"What are you going to about it?" she taunted back.
In the blink of an eye, Naruto tackled her, sending the two of them tussling along the ground until they came to a halt against the base of a tree. Moka had her back up against the tree and squirmed in pain within his grasp until the aura around Naruto suddenly died down.
"That was a good spar. We're definitely doing this more often in the future." said Naruto, catching her off guard.
Moka was confused, "A spar?"
She then noticed blood leaking out of the corner of his mouth and quickly moved her head forward and slammed her lips into his. Naruto was stunned initially but started to respond to the kiss as Moka's tongue invaded his mouth. Both hormonally charged teens had a slightly dazed expression once they pulled back after remembering they needed to breath.
'This is like that reoccurring dream I have about that hot crazy examiner lady from my chunin exams.' thought Naruto. 'Damn shame. If I had managed to make it back to the village, I definitely would have tried to get with her.'
"We'll have to make this a regular thing." stated Moka as she licked her lips, savoring the remaining taste of Naruto's blood.
'Oh hell yes! It's been too long...' thought Naruto as he gained a perverted gleam in his eye. One that didn't go unnoticed by Moka as she flung him off of her.
"I was referring to the sparring. You haven't earned that kind of reward...yet." Moka thought the last part to herself as she walked over to Naruto and slapped the rosario back on before collapsing into his arms.
"Fuck! Another cold shower...These girls are going to be the death of me." grumbled Naruto as started making his way back to the dorms carrying Moka.
X-X-X-X-X-X-X
The next morning Naruto decided to get an early jump on the day's show. He sent a shadow clone to class in his place, while he dragged Gin out of the infirmary to the AV club. The werewolf seemed to possess the inherent ability of all super perverts to recover quickly from a beating induced by righteous feminine fury, only sporting a slight limp. Naruto suspected he was faking it to gain some female attention, but the thought was quickly banished to the back of his mind after they opened the door to the AV club. The entire set up from the previous day was now covered in layers upon layers of some white silky thread-like substance.
Naruto summed up the situation in front him perfectly, "Well...shit."
"You know what, I only need to say one thing. I told you so." admonished a somewhat smug Gin at having his point about the Public Safety Commission proven.
"What the fuck is this shit? Spider web? Gross!" spat Naruto in disgust as he tried to wipe some webbing off his finger. The blond then suddenly cringed, "Ah man, we are so screwed."
"I told you, taking on Kuyou does not end well." chided Gin.
Naruto rolled his eyes in response, "I'm not talking about that bastard. Takanaka-sensei is going to have a cow. You know how anal he is about his club's equipment."
At that moment said Sensei opened the door to the room and froze at the sight in front of him.
"What in the hell..." mumbled the stocky, thick bearded, bald man.
This time it was Gin who summed up the situation perfectly, "Well...shit."
A dark shadow crossed his face as he turned to Naruto and Gin, "I let you incompetent fools use my club's equipment for one day and this is what happens. You guys are finished. Never again. Banned for life!"
"But Sensei-" started Naruto only to be cut off.
"THESE ARE MY MACHINES!" roared Takanaka-sensei.
"Sir-" Gin couldn't get a word in edgewise either.
"MY MACHINES!" bellowed Takanaka again.
"Whose machines?" asked Gin.
"MY MACHINES!" roared Takanaka.
Naruto glared at Gin, "How is that helpful?"
"THEY'RE MINE! MINE! MINE! MINE! MY MACHINES! MY MACHINES! MY MACHINES! MY MACHINES!..." raved Takanaka as he started stomping around like a child throwing a tantrum.
Gin and Naruto gave each other a look before throwing their hands up in frustration and walking out as he continued to rant.
X-X-X-X-X-X-X
Naruto slammed open the door to the headmasters office to find him involved in what appeared to be an intense conversation with his brother, the bus driver.
"Yo!" yelled Naruto in greeting, but they continued on as if they didn't hear him.
"Yo!" yelled Naruto again to no avail.
"Hello!" shouted the blond as he started jumping up and down waving his arms.
"Hey old guys!" called out the voice of Urahara as he entered the door behind Naruto.
"Pfft. You calling us Old? That's rich." retorted the bus drive.
"I got a bone to pick with you. What the hell is up with this Public Safety Commission? Who in there right mind would allow the inmates to run the fucking asylum?" yelled Naruto.
The headmaster dismissed his objection, "The commission is a traditional club. This incarnation may be somewhat over zealous, but I'm sure it's nothing that can't be corrected."
"Wouldn't this have been something to inform me about, I don't know, the first day I took the damn job? If these bakas didn't have a bone to pick with the newspaper club, I wouldn't have even known they existed! They don't do any guarding! You know how many rape and assault attempts my clones stop on a regular basis with these goons nowhere to be found? Not mention the stuff I've stopped personally. Sheesh, between them and your sensei, I have no idea how students graduate from this place in one piece. Too lazy to exercise your own authority, you drop in an undercover cop to do the work for you. Everything about this place is ass-backwards!" ranted Naruto.
The headmaster smirked at him, "Feel good to get that off you chest."
"Damn straight!" replied Naruto.
"Well off you go then." said the Headmaster as he made a shooing motion.
"You're not off the hook yet. Does the commission have any sort of rule-book? A guidelines of thing they are supposed to enforce?" asked Naruto.
"Not per say..." replied the Headmaster.
Naruto rolled his eyes, "Now wonder they can't do anything right, they have no idea what their doing. They're a bunch of disorganized vigilantes."
"What I meant was they have an adviser. That faculty member makes sure they enforce the proper rules." clarified the headmaster.
"Well, who in the hell is their faculty adviser?" demanded Naruto.
"Oh, I believe it's Hondo-sensei." informed the Headmaster.
The bus driver started snickering, "Hondo-san retired five years ago."
The headmaster only had one way to sum up his thoughts, "Well...shit."
"This is why I told you to hire a secretary." teased Urahara.
"I'll work on finding a sensei to oversea the club. In the meantime, I'll entrust you in finding a means to get your peers under control." said the Headmaster.
"Pfft. Yeah, I'm gonna shove my foot so far up that teme's ass-" began Naruto only to be cut off by Kisuke.
"Unless you intend to take over the public Safety commission yourself, simply beating up Kuyou won't change much." advised Urahara. "You'll have to come up with a much more productive solution than that."
"Just dump everything on the new guy why don't ya?" grumbled Naruto as he stormed out of the office.
The Bus driver started laughing, "He's been here how long and he's already disgruntled?"
"His main problem is he hasn't figured out how to get laid without pissing off all the various girls pursuing him." responded Urahara.
Both the Headmaster and his brother gave him deadpan looks.
Kisuke shrugged at them, "What? He's got two definite and a few possibles. Play his cards right and he gets them all, tip the delicate balance he gets none."
The headmaster shook his head, "You need to stop watching soap operas. It's rotting your brain."
"Spying on me again getaboshi-teme? You are so going to pay for that! Hehehe! We need a new studio site!" yelled Naruto as he reappeared behind Urahara.
"Ow! Ow! Ow! Let go! Let go!" pleaded Urahara as Naruto dragged him out of the room by the ear.
X-X-X-X-X-X-X
During the morning break Naruto ducked into the newspaper club room, cup ramen in hand. As he slurped down his delectable noodles, he joined Gin in reading through the girls notes from the previous day. As expected Dattebayo Live was a hit with all the students. What was even more promising was the fact that the image of Kuyou and the public safety commission had taken a huge hit. However, after thinking on the piece of advice handed out by Kisuke, Naruto decided to reshuffle some of his plans. Kisuke was right, completely obliterating the public safety commission would just leave a power vacuum for someone else to fill and cause a lot more work for him in the long run. He decided to pull a page straight from the Sandaime Hokage's playbook, something the old man was legendary for: if it's too much of a pain to beat 'em, manipulate 'em.
"You know sacking Kuyou and his goons might not be such a good idea." stated Naruto casually, as if making conversation.
Gin just stared at him as if he was insane.
Naruto decided to elaborate on his change of scheme, "Just hear me out. Let's just say the PSC gets shut down. All that does is leave a huge void of authority for someone else to step in and fill. Someone who could be far worse than Kuyou. We don't need Kuyou gone, we just need him to actually do his job. The bastard is somewhat predictable. He probably just needs the stick up his ass removed, and I've made killing removing sticks from people's asses over the years. Only one undocumented failure."
"And how oh great wise one, do you intend to get someone as stubborn as that moron to change his ways. Kuyou is all about his own agenda. Ridding this academy of filth!" mocked Gin. "Unless you plan to Jedi mind trick him, it's impossible."
"No idea what a Jedi mind trick is, but an Itachi Uchiha style brainwashing is well within means." muttered Naruto as he raised his hands behind his head.
Gin looked at him confused, "Weasel what?"
He never heard Naruto's reply as door opened, and Naruto found his face mushed into the heavenly valley that is breasts of the club's resident succubus.
"Good Morning Naruto-kun! I missed you!" squealed Kurumu.
Gin immediately busted out with a notepad and started taking notes while giggling at his friend's good fortune. Moka, feeling strongly possessive of Naruto this morning, latched onto the blond from behind trying to shove the succubus off of him. With the combination of his face in Kurumu's chest, and Moka's assets pressed up against his back, it was as if Naruto had achieved some form of Nirvana. The feeling quickly left him as he found that between the two girls smashing him between them, he couldn't breathe.
"Get off Naruto-kun!" yelled Moka.
"First come, first serve pinky!" fired back Kurumu.
The girls never saw it coming, "SMACK!"
"OWW!" cried out both girls as the jumped back slightly from Naruto spanking them.
"Sorry, I couldn't breathe." Naruto then gave then a dose of sad puppy dog eyes, causing them to melt into his arms and start apologizing to him.
Gin let out a loud giggle as he caught sight of Naruto massaging their luscious posteriors in the spot where he spanked them. He failed to notice the large toilet hovering over his head until it was too late.
"Bad doggy!" scolded Yukari as she shook her wand at the now unconscious werewolf.
"I wish you would let us help you." whined Kurumu.
Yukari leaned back into her chair and let out a long sigh, "Somebody still has to make the newspaper."
"Yeah, but it's much better when we get to make the newspaper together." countered Moka.
Naruto sighed, "Yeah, I know. It shouldn't be too much longer until things are back to normal. Whatever that is."
Naruto let go of the girls and walked over to Gin. He shook his head before giving a nod to Yukari. She giggled before waving her wand causing a bucket of ice water to appear over Gin and dump onto his head. The werewolf immediately shot up from the floor and starting shaking himself like a wet dog.
"Let's go dog-breath-sempai. We've got work to do." said Naruto as he made his way out the door.
"I am not a dog!" yelled Gin as he sped after him.
Naruto snorted derisively, "Could have fooled me."
"Quality time with my Naruto-kun always brightens up my day!" exclaimed Kurumu.
Moka narrowed her eyes at her, "What do you mean your Naruto-kun!"
Yukari shook her head as the two entered into another of their frequent squabbles.
"Slow and steady wins the race." muttered Yukari quietly to herself.
"What was that?" shouted Kurumu as she and Moka paused to look at her.
"I said we should hurry up before we're late." replied Yukari. 'Just keep it up you two. In few years after he's bored with you two bickering fools, and a younger sexier witch will be too much for him to pass up. Plus there's always love potions...'
X-X-X-X-X-X-X
At the sound of the bell, there was a ruckus stampede of students through the halls of the school as they all scrambled to get to the cafeteria for their lunches and a good seat. Even students who were skipping school made a beeline to the lunchroom from their various locations. Almost at the exact time that everyone found a seat, the televisions around the room all turned on to the sight of a Cup of Ramen with the following inscription displayed on the bottom left corner, like for a music video:
Toby! Tobi! Tobey! ft. Naruto
Ramen's Paradise
The Orange Show
DatteBayo Records
"This goes out to Ichirakus..." whispered the voice of Naruto as the instrumentals to the song Gangsta's Paradise by Coolio started to play.
The scene suddenly shifted to the orange masked Tobi emerging from a thick mist and leaning up against a cross shaped headstone.
As I walked through the Valley of the Shadow of Death,
I took a look in my wallet,
And realized there was nothing left,
'Cause I've been pranking and laughing so long
That even my momma thinks that my mind has gone.
Now I ain't never pranked a man that didn't deserve it.
Me be treated like a punk, you know that's unheard of,
PSC you better watch how you're talking, and where you're walking,
Or you and your cronies might get buried in chalk,
I really hate to rip, but now I'm kinda broke,
But somebody needed to slam Kuyou's head against some maple oak,
Fools, I didn't plan on a prank war, just to settle in for the night,
With my chopsticks in the right
Slurping noodles in the moonlight.
(The scene cuts to Naruto and the two other Tobi's holding bowls of ramen as they sang the chorus)
We've been spending most our lives
Eating at a ramen's paradise.
We've been spending most our lives
Eating at a ramen's paradise.
(Suddenly the ramen bowls are all replaced with plates of normal food)
Now we're stuck with forks and knives
Too broke for a ramen's paradise.
Now we're stuck with forks and knives
Too broke for a ramen's paradise.
(Cuts back to the first Tobi)
Look at the situation, they got me facing,
I can't eat a normal plate, it's way too damn late.
So I gotta be down with the kitchen team,
A lot swim club watching, will give ya good dreams.
I'm an uneducated fool with miso on my mind
Got a kunai in my hand and a gleam in my eye.
PSC you need to know once false move, and ya'll tripping danger
Cause I'm really damn hungry, so don't arouse my anger.
Fool, death ain't nothing but a heart beat away,
I'm living life pork or beef, what can I say?
Instant is okay for now, but will I live to eat miso,
The way things is going I don't know.
(The scene back cuts to Naruto and the two other Tobi's holding bowls of ramen again)
Tell me why are we
So blind to see.
That the way to peace
Is chicken or beef?
We've been spending most our lives
Eating at a ramen's paradise.
We've been spending most our lives
Eating at a ramen's paradise.
(Suddenly the ramen bowls are all replaced with plates of normal food)
Now we're stuck with forks and knives
Too broke for a ramen's paradise.
Now we're stuck with forks and knives
Too broke for a ramen's paradise.
Pork or the chicken, chicken or the pork,
Why not both? And no more forks!
Everybody's running, but half of them ain't looking
It's going on in the kitchen
But I don't know what's cooking.
They say I can have only on bowl
But that's not enough to feed me.
Why can't they understand it, I want all I can eat?
I guess they can't,
I guess they won't,
I guess they front,
That's why I know my lunch is out of luck, fool!
(The scene cuts one more to Naruto and the two other Tobi's holding bowls of ramen)
We've been spending most our lives
Eating at a ramen's paradise.
We've been spending most our lives
Eating at a ramen's paradise.
Now we're stuck with forks and knives
Too broke for a ramen's paradise.
Now we're stuck with forks and knives
Too broke for a ramen's paradise.
Tell me why are we,
So blind to see
That we all should have,
Chicken and beef?
Tell me why are we,
So blind to see
That we all should have,
Chicken and beef?
As the song faded out the scene cut to Naruto and Gin in a makeshift outdoor studio as the instrumentals for the song 'Jenny was a friend of Mine' by the Killers, started to play in the background.
Then came the deep voiced radio announcer, "Live from the remote rooftop studio along the Youkai Academy skyline, it's Dattebayo Live! Now here are your hosts, Naruto Uzumaki and Gin Morioka."
"Welcome! Welcome to show number two! A show many people thought we'd never get to do!" declared Naruto.
"And on behalf of all sane people involved in this operation, I would like to apologize for that thing that preceded the show today." stated Gin in a remorseful tone.
"Hey!" shouted Naruto. "That was awesome!"
Gin looked at him as he if was insane, "It doesn't even make sense! A ramen paradise barely makes sense, how in the hell could a ramen's paradise make sense!"
"Because a ramen's paradise is a paradise for all paradises!" proclaimed Naruto.
"That doesn't make sense!" shouted Gin.
"Oh yeah, well so's your face!" retorted Naruto.
"That doesn't make sense either!" yelled Gin.
"So's your face always makes sense." gloated Naruto.
Gin threw his hands up in exasperation, "Oh, Come on! You are-"
Naruto cut him off, pointing off to the left, "Hey look, the swim club is sunbathing!"
Gin jumped up and scrambled over to the right side of the roof, "Where! I don't see anything over AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!"
"While Gin finds his way back to the roof, let's throw it over to Rock Lee for a sports report. Lee!"
X-X-X-X-X-X-X
The conclusion of the day's show was not complete without a obligatory visit from the public safety commission. No sooner than did the boys drop their headsets at the end of the program, did Keito make her presence known. Gin and Naruto were expecting this, however the surprise was that only one member made the trip.
"Man you guys must be short on man power." joked Naruto.
"If you must know, all other commission officers are scouring the school grounds for this Tobi person." spat Keito.
"If you put this much effort into catching actual troublemakers, you might have made stopped a rape or two this semester." retorted Naruto.
"You just love mingling with the trash of this academy Gin. One would think you'd have learned the consequences of rolling around with filth after what happened last year." sneered the dark haired girl.
Gin rolled his eyes, "What do you want Keito?"
"Kuyou-sama has declared this show unsuitable for the academy airwaves. You are to cease and desist broadcasts immediately. Also, hand over the identity and location of this Tobi person." announced Keito.
Naruto started chuckling, unable to contain his mirth.
Keito raised an eyebrow at the blond, "And what about this is funny?"
She took a step back, when she caught the crazy gleam in Naruto's eyes, "Because, there are just so very many ways to for me to say this to you. I can't just pick one, so have 'em all! Never! Not in a million years! Absolutely not! No way Jose! No way Hokage! No chance Lance! Hell no! No way in hell! No no jutsu! Negatory. UN-UN. Nah. UUH-UNN! And my own personal favorite of all time, man falling of a cliff, 'NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!'"
"Do you have-" began Keito, only for Naruto to hold up a finger and silence her momentarily.
He then flicked his hand at the ground, "SPLAT!"
'This guy is crazy!' thought Keito. This thought was quickly reaffirmed when Naruto started waving at her. After a few seconds she realized he was waving at something behind her. Keito turned around to come face to face with an all to familiar spiral orange mask before everything went dark. Tobi transformed back into a shadow clone, who hefted the girl over his shoulder and departed to a discreet location.
Gin let out a yawn, "Let her stew for a while. We can pick this up after school is out for the day. Oh! It's almost time for afternoon P.E. Smell yah later!"
"Yeah time for the girls changing room to fill up is more like it." muttered Naruto as the werewolf sped away. 'This was just too easy. Walked right into an ambush like a fool. Changing methods-'
His ramblings were cut short by a greeting of, "Nice show today."
'Shit! How the hell did she sneak up on me again!' thought Naruto as he turned around to find Mizore smiling and waving at him. "Yeah, we like to have a pretty good time with it."
Mizore giggled, "You're a pretty creative guy. I bet-"
Naruto didn't hear a single thing she said, his eyes zeroing in on the lollipop she was absentmindedly working with her tongue and mouth. The blond tugged on his collar as his pants suddenly felt a couple sizes too small. 'When your done with that treat, I got one more for ya...'
"-wouldn't that be cool?" asked Mizore.
Naruto still not paying attention to what she was saying, replied, "Yeah, sure."
"Well, you better get to class. See ya around, Naruto-kun." she said with a smile as she walked off.
It wasn't until she vanished down the steps that Naruto became alert and it dawned on him again, "Who the hell is that girl!"
X-X-X-X-X-X-X
Somewhere on campus in a dark abandoned classroom sat an unconscious Keito, restrained by wire and ropes. Some Naruto clones had turned the place into a makeshift interrogation room. After a coin flip, it was determined Gin got to play bad cop.
"Wake up!" shouted Gin as he slapped her face.
"Waahh..." muttered a groggy Keito as she was slow to come to.
"How about a little bit of itsy... bitsy... SPIDER!" shouted Gin as he dumped a bucket of ice cold water on the restrained girl. With a loud shriek, the girl was now both fully alert, and dripping wet.
"You bastards! If you don't release me right now-" screamed Keito, only to be cut off by Gin.
"You'll what? Tattle on us to your little master? You don't get to make any demands." sneered the werewolf.
Keito started laughing hysterically, "You fools! Kuyou-sama treats attacks on Public Safety commission members like an act of terrorism! He'll roast you alive!"
"This is taking too long." grumbled Naruto as he lifted his shades. He took a glance at Keito and shook his head, "She's not going to talk, maybe we should just forget this whole thing."
Gin sighed, "You're right, it's probably not worth it. Look Keito, let's forget this whole thing."
Keito stared at them stunned, "Yeah, sure."
"Yeah, sorry about this whole thing." apologized Naruto as he took out a kunai and started cutting her free from her restraints.
"We'll go return all the equipment to the A/V club and issue a public apology." stated Gin.
"We can help you apprehend Tobi as well." added Naruto.
Keito let out a grateful sigh now that she was free. She started running her hands over the spots on her arms where the restraints were tightest.
"Thanks guys." Her look off gratitude quickly morphed into a sneer as she opened her mouth and spewed forth copious amounts of webbing, wrapping the two of them up in cocoons. "Fools, did you really think you'd get off that easy? I would finish you off myself, but I believe Kuyou-sama would like to have a word with you idiots first."
Keito revealed her true form of a Jorougumo, sticking the cocoons containing Naruto and Gin to her back and discreetly making her way to the Public Safety Commission headquarters. Upon her arrival she dumped the two cocoons into a holding cell, reverted back to her normal form and made her way to Kuyou's office.
"Kuyou-sama! I've captured the two from that show." informed Keito.
Kuyou jumped up from his desk, "Excellent! Take me to them now!"
They quickly made their way to the holding cell, sliding the door open. Kuyou igniting his hands and sliced open the cocoons, only to find them completely empty.
"What is the meaning of this!" he bellowed at his subordinate.
"This is impossible! I swear they were here! They had me captured, then let me go and I turned the tables on them! They were in there!" shrieked a panicking Keito.
"You were captured..." growled Kuyou. "You fool! You probably led them right to us!"
Suddenly the room started spinning for Keito, when everything came back into focus she realized something was off. Everything around her was so big! When she turned back to Kuyou it finally became clear to her, everything wasn't big, she was small! The girl was now the size of house spider, now looking up from the edge of Kuyou's shoes.
"You've been nothing more than a tool to me, a bug I could squash at anytime. That time is now!" roared the furious Kuyou.
Keito could only look up in horror as a now four tailed Kuyou lifted his foot and brought it down on top of her. Just as she felt herself about get crushed, the world in front of her seemingly shattered, bringing her back to the real world and the face of a smirking Naruto putting his shades back on. A stunned Gin stood behind him, staring at him in disbelief.
"Did you have a nice dream?" asked the blond.
Keito's eyes fluttered for a few seconds before she passed out.
"I've got the location, now let's go." declared Naruto, as he freed the girl from her restraints and hefted her over his shoulder.
"Remind me to never get on your bad side, that Jagan is fucking scary." mumbled Gin.
X-X-X-X-X-X-X
"This is a bad idea." said Gin.
"Just trust me on this one." assured Naruto.
"You expect to walk right into here and what? Sit down to tea with him?" exclaimed Gin.
Naruto smirked, "No, I just plan to make sure we see eye-to-eye on a few matters. I told you Kuyou wouldn't be such a pain in the ass if he did his job correctly."
"I thought you were kidding about that!" yelled Gin.
Naruto waved off his concern, "Stop being so troublesome. We'll be out of here in under five minutes."
Gin shrugged before banging on the door in front of them, "Open up! It's Koji and Rikku! We've got the Tobi idiot!"
X-X-X-X-X-X-X
(4 Minutes and 30 seconds later)
Naruto cut loose a yawn as he exited the Public Safety Commission Headquarters. Gin followed after him through the double doors with a stunned look on his face.
"Yes, I am that good." declared Naruto.
"But, how did you do that?" exclaimed Gin.
"I dealt with much bigger and much badder Kitsune before. Plus my little mind mojo won't need to last long. And besides..." a grin spread over Naruto's face as he slipped his sunglasses back on. "The Jagan is beautiful thing."
"If I hang around you any longer, my head is going to explode. Smell ya!" said the werewolf as he vanished to parts unknown.
"Useless mutt, I did all the damn work." grumbled Naruto as he teleported via shunshin back to his dorm room where he collapsed on top of his bed. "Now I know how Kakashi-sensei used to feel. Looks like two big time illusions is my limit for now."
The blond passed out where he lay, unable to even get underneath the covers.
A/N: I was going to do a serious battle between Naruto and Kuyou, but I got carried away with Dattebayo live again and just felt it better not to throw up some half-assed fight scene at the end. Therefore the Jagan makes a resurgence! Not only practical for characters, but writers as well! Due to my decision about the fight, I'm probably going to take Kuyou's character in somewhat different direction. Next chapter will be a return to YYH world to deal with the Saint Beasts. And who knows, maybe Naruto will stumble into a Ramen's Paradise along the way. Peace Out!