I do not own Criminal Minds or any of its characters. I think it's pretty clear that they own me.

XOXOXOXOXO

Minutes later Reid found himself alone in Hotch's stark guest bedroom. He dropped his bags on the dresser and sighed heavily. He had really hoped never to find himself in this situation again, but here he was, about to be punished like a child. He knew he deserved it, but he also knew it was going to hurt. He could handle the physical pain, but the emotional pain of knowing he had let Hotch and Morgan down was eating at him. As he sat on the bed and thought about this, unconsciously he began to rock. He wrapped one arm around himself, the other he used to bring his hand to his face. Realizing what a deep disappointment he must have been, he automatically began to gnaw at his fingernails. His craving for an escape grew the more he thought about what a huge failure he had been.

Looking at his watch, Reid realized he had only been sitting there for about 10 minutes so far. There was no telling how long Hotch would leave him here to think. His skin was beginning to crawl. Suddenly, he jumped to his feet and began to pace about the small bedroom. Spiraling ever deeper into his self-hatred, his breath became shallower. He was starting to feel dizzy. Wildly, he thought about sneaking out of the room and trying to find the small vial Hotch had confiscated. He hadn't heard Hotch moving around at all. Maybe he was outside, or maybe he had even gone out. Was there a chance he could even find the dilaudid? Reid softly padded across the small room, pressed his ear to the door and waited. Silence. Some rational part of his brain reminded him that Hotch wouldn't leave without letting him know first. The louder, frightened part told him it was worth a shot if it meant he might be able to find the vial before Hotch caught him.

Again he looked at his watch. Time was moving so slowly. He had only been alone for 15 minutes now, but he couldn't stand it anymore. Ever so carefully, Reid cracked the door open, held his breath and looked out. From this vantage point he could see into the bathroom and Hotch's bedroom across the hall. Cautiously stepping out into the hall, he peered around to the small office next to his bedroom. There was no trace of the older man. Quickly, he moved into Hotch's bedroom and scanned the area for the vial. He didn't have the nerve to open the drawers, but he did venture into the master bathroom just in case. Having no luck, he repeated the process in both the office and the main bathroom. Still, he found nothing.

Standing in the middle of the hallway now, Reid stared at the living room. It too seemed empty. Slowly, silently, he made his way toward it. Reaching the apex, he almost didn't dare to enter, but the thought of returning to the bedroom brought on another wave of panic. Taking a deep breath, he stepped forward. Quickly he looked over the bookcases and shelves, never truly believing Hotch would leave the vial here.

Having no luck and running out of places to try, the young agent glanced worriedly in the direction of the dining room. That was the last possible room, well that and the attached kitchen. Desperate now, he turned the corner, and froze.

Hotch, now in jeans and a cream colored sweater, was sitting at the table with several books spread out in front of him. He held one open as he glanced up curiously at his young charge. "Spencer? What's the matter? Why did you leave the bedroom?"

Hotch really was interested, but if Reid couldn't produce a viable answer, he would be angry. "I – I –aaa-I was . . ."

Clearly, the young man had no valid excuse. Hotch was on his feet before Reid could produce another syllable. He took Reid by the elbow, and guiding him back to the bedroom, said, "I told you to stay in this room until I came for you. When I give you an order, I expect to be obeyed. Is that clear?"

They were standing at the opening to the room, but Reid had not yet stepped inside, "Y-yes Sir." He was on the verge of tears, so he didn't say another word. He simply stepped inside and turned to watch Hotch close the door on him. There was a vice gripping at his chest now. Breathing was nearly impossible. Sinking to his knees at the foot of the bed, he rested his forehead on the mattress and tried to calm his breathing. He had no idea what was wrong with him. As he tried desperately to breathe, thoughts of failure circled in his mind. Hotch couldn't even stand the sight of him. That's why he was closing him away like this. The young man didn't notice when the tears started to fall, but when the wracking, uncontrollable sobs began he immediately grabbed a pillow to bury the sound.

Still confused by Reid's actions, Hotch continued standing outside the door trying to work out why the young man would be wandering around the house when he knew better than to leave this room. It didn't make sense. Reid knew he would be in even deeper trouble if he left the room, so why do it? The idea crossed the senior agent's mind that Reid was trying to gain some control by coercing Hotch into starting his punishment now instead of making him wait. If that were the case though, Reid would more likely have presented an angrier disposition. No, the young man had been 'looking' for something. He had to know he would run into Hotch at some point.

The distinct sound of muffled sobbing from the other side of the door distracted Hotch's thoughts. Without hesitation, he opened the door. What he found deeply worried him. Reid was face down on the bed, his body convulsing with the intensity of his crying. He made almost no sound. Hotch was grateful he had been near enough to hear anything at all. Instinctively, Hotch moved to the far side of the small bed, sat gently next to Reid, and placed a comforting hand on the boy's head, "Spencer?"

Reid's immediate reaction shocked them both. Unable to stop crying, he bolted up and practically fell into Hotch's arms. He was on auto-pilot and he needed human contact right now. Reid felt as though he were outside of his body watching this scene play out in front of him.

Hotch simply held Reid letting him cry. He allowed himself the occasional, "You're going to be okay," but he didn't try to make the younger man stop crying. He needed to get it out – whatever 'it' was. Beyond this, Hotch felt nearly helpless. He had no idea what had brought it on, but he intended to find out.

Gradually, the sobbing slowed to soft crying, and then to sniffling combined with the occasional hiccup. Recovered enough to feel embarrassed, Reid gently pushed away from Hotch and rubbed at his eyes, mumbling, "I'm sorry." Hotch produced a box of tissue of which the young man gratefully grabbed a handful. He scrubbed at his face and noisily blew his nose.

"There's nothing to be sorry for," Hotch comforted, "do you want to talk about it?"

'NO!' thought Reid, but he knew that wouldn't be an acceptable answer. Instead, through shaky breaths, he said, "I thought you were so ashamed of me that you didn't want to see me. I-I thought I'd messed up so badly, you were giving up on me."

"The only thing you did wrong was to have drugs in your possession, Spencer. You didn't take them and you managed to follow through with all the other expectations I have for your recovery as well as the demands of your job. While I am disappointed that you had the drugs, I am certainly not ashamed of you." Things were beginning to make more sense to Hotch now. He asked, "What were you looking for when I found you?"

Reid wondered how Hotch knew he was looking for something, but he answered, "I'm really sorry, Hotch. I-I was looking for the vial of dilaudid." He hung his head in disgrace as tears sprang to his eyes again.

It only took Hotch a moment to reason this out, "No you weren't." Dismayed, Reid looked up at his boss. Hotch registered the fresh tears but continued, "You knew I was here and that I would catch you." Hotch was suddenly irritated with himself. He should have known better than to leave Reid alone when he was so vulnerable. "I'm sorry, Spencer. You must have felt abandoned isolated in here."

As usual, Hotch proved he knew the young man better than he even knew himself. Embarrassed, he wrapped his arms tighter around himself and stared at the floor. "I was fine," He muttered.

"Spencer." Came the warning reply, "We've talked about how important honesty is to your recovery. It's even more important that you're honest with yourself than with me. Do you want to try that one again?"

Reid wondered why Hotch kept asking him questions that the clear answer was "NO!" when he obviously didn't want that as a response. Taking a deep breath, he instead tried, "I-I was really scared I'd lost your support."

Hotch gently gripped the young man's shoulder, "Are we clear now that won't ever happen, and as long as you're still willing to fight this I'll be there helping you?"

Nodding his head, he quietly said, "Yes. Thank you." An angry face flashed through his mind at that moment, and he flinched. Meeting Hotch's eye, he fearfully asked, "What about Morgan? He was really angry with me."

Hotch wondered when this would come up, and he was ready with his answer, "He was extremely angry, but not at you . . . well, maybe a little at you, but mostly he was angry with himself. You know how protective he is of everyone on this team, but when you obtained the dilaudid, he felt he had let you down because you were under his direct protection at the time."

This news distressed the young doctor even more than the thought of Morgan being angry with him. "But it was my fault, Hotch. I bought it. I hid it. He had nothing to do with it!"

"Calm down, Spencer." Hotch soothed, "I know, and I've already talked to him about it. You don't need to worry about Morgan."

Reid trusted Hotch, but he wouldn't be entirely convinced until he was able to see Morgan for himself. "Do you think he could come over tonight?"

"He may have other plans, but I'll call and ask after lunch." Hotch stood and looked down at the worried expression on Reid's face, "Come on. You can sit in the corner while I fix lunch."

Though he was surprised by the proclamation, the young man acquiesced quickly realizing the alternative was to stay in this room alone.

XOXOXOXO

Hotch placed a dining room chair facing a blank wall just outside the kitchen. He could keep an eye on the young man while Reid had the comfort of proximity as he spent 15 minutes thinking about everything. Hotch only had to warn him once that this was not a time for discussion. In the meantime the older man pulled together the ingredients for two turkey sandwiches and a plate of vegetables. It was a simple lunch, but even this he figured Reid would have trouble finishing in his current state.

Placing everything on the table, he said, "Okay, time for lunch."

Though he wasn't the least bit hungry, he was eager to finally leave the corner. Reid returned his chair to its rightful place and joined his boss at the table. He picked a bit at the sandwich while he formed a question in his mind. Rallying his nerve, he timidly asked, "So, you're really not mad at me?"

Finishing off the first half of his sandwich, Hotch clarified, "I'm upset that you bought the drugs, but I'm not mad at you. I'm actually quite proud of you. Now eat!"

Reid gave a little smile and took the first actual bite of his meal. Swallowing this, he kept his eyes on his plate and tried, "So, does that mean you're not going to punish me?"

Hotch didn't answer until Reid met his eye, "What do you think?"

The younger man swallowed hard and returned his attention to his lunch.

XOXOXOXO

Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed!

I know you were expecting our boy to be punished, but the angst must be quelled first. Perhaps with the next chapter. We'll have to see.

Please review. Love to hear from everyone!