Sorry that it's been a while! But I hope it's worth the wait! On we go…
"What's wrong?" Brennan asked as she and Booth settled in for bed that night. He rolled his head to look at her and gave an apologetic smile.
"Just thinking," he answered curtly and planted a chaste kiss on her lips.
"The bureau isn't severing our partnership," she told him as if he didn't already know. "I don't understand why you aren't reacting positively to the news. Do you… Would you rather not be my partner anymore?"
"What? No! Why would you even think that?" Brennan shrugged and Booth pulled her closer to him.
"I couldn't come up with any other reasonable conclusions. You called to tell me that they were keeping our partnership intact, but your tone suggested you weren't thrilled with the outcome. You barely talked to me during lunch, and you practically refused to have sex with me tonight. What else could I possibly think?"
"Bones, this has nothing to do with us being partners, okay?" Brennan's eyebrows knit together as she tried to process whether or not he was telling the truth.
"Did I do something wrong?" Booth's eyes widened at the apprehension and insecurity in her voice and rushed to correct her.
"No, no, this has nothing to do with us." Brennan nodded, accepting that he wasn't lying.
"Would you like to talk about it?" Booth smiled. She was being so sincere with him, trying so hard to be a good girlfriend, domestic partner, whatever she wanted to call it. He took a deep breath.
"I got a call about ten minutes before Hacker told me that we get to keep being partners," he began, grasping her hand tightly. "It… It was my dad." Brennan remained silent, but her eyes bore into his with concern as she waited for him to continue. "He said he wanted to meet somewhere and he had something important to talk to me about. He gave me his number at some hotel in case I decide I want to talk to him."
"Are you going to?" Booth shrugged and rested his forehead on hers.
"He sounded… different," he decided to say after a long moment of silence. "I've never heard him like that. Not even when he was on a sobriety kick. He sounded, I don't know… scared. But I don't know if that's just an act to get me to talk to him or what."
"Well," Brennan ventured cautiously, "you once told me that if you had the opportunity to speak to your father again, you would." Booth's eyes narrowed. He didn't remember ever saying anything like that, but if she said so, it must have happened sometime. "I reconciled with my father. And as far as I know, yours never killed anyone." Booth shook his head.
"It's not the same, Bones. Max loves you. My old man… He didn't love anything but himself and that bottle."
"You have stated that he was quite affectionate when he was sober. If he treated you kindly then… he must have loved you to some degree."
"Yeah, well, not enough to give it up for good." The words came out a little more harshly than he intended and Brennan bit her lip anxiously.
"I'm sorry," she told him softly.
"No," Booth insisted, "I'm sorry. It's just… He knew how he treated us. He knew what he did when he got drunk, but it didn't matter to him. If I knew something I was doing was hurting you or Parker, I'd stop. No matter what it was. Nothing is worth hurting any of you." He put his hand on Brennan's slightly rounded belly to drive his point home. "I guess that's how I always felt when he'd start drinking again after quitting for a couple weeks. That I wasn't enough. No matter how much fun we had, or how good of a kid I was, nothing I did was ever enough to keep him from drinking again."
"Booth, it wasn't your fault." Booth smiled in thanks and brought Brennan's knuckles to his lips.
"I know," he promised. "And I guess I knew it then too. Doesn't mean it didn't feel that way."
"May I offer my biased and grossly uninformed opinion?" Booth chuckled and granted permission. "I think there's a lot unsaid between you and your father. Whether talking means coming to some sort of mutual understanding or a complete cut of all ties, I believe you'll be better off if you speak to him." Booth considered her words and nodded.
"You might be right. I just don't know what I would say. Just thinking about him I get so angry I can't see straight. When I was younger it pissed me off, but… now that I have Parker and you and this baby on the way… I just can't understand how a man could do what he did to his own kids. And to my mother. And what I hate the most is that I can see so much of him in myself." He took a ragged breath as he struggled to keep the tears from falling. "I'm nervous, Bones."
"It's natural to be," Brennan agreed readily. "You haven't spoken to your father in over 20 years." Booth shook his head and looked her in the eyes.
"Not about my dad," he explained. "About the baby."
"The baby?" Brennan repeated, confused. Booth hesitated to find the right words to explain himself.
"Rebecca's always telling me that Parker likes coming here because it's a vacation. And at least partly… she's right. I don't really discipline Parker. He does his homework Sunday night after Rebecca takes him home. I clean his room for him. I'm just so happy to be with him that most of the time I act more like his friend than his dad. When the baby comes, I'm gonna be a full-time father. I'm gonna be there for everything. The good times and the bad. I've never done that before. What if… What if I'm like him? What if I'm no good at it when I'm there every single day?" Tears welled in Brennan's eyes. Ever since she first found out she was pregnant she'd been afraid of being a bad parent. Knowing Booth felt the same way was strangely reassuring.
"You're an excellent father," she assured him. "I've seen you be much more than just a friend to Parker on many occasions. You're most definitely his father, both in name and in practice. He is very fortunate to have you, and our child will be as well." Booth leaned forward and gave Brennan a sweet, lingering kiss.
"Thanks, Bones," he said, his voice thick.
"No need to thank me," she insisted. "Do you think you'll call your father in the morning?" Booth nodded slowly.
"Yeah. I think I will." He gave Brennan another kiss.
"I could go with you," she offered.
"No," Booth refused gently. "This is something I have to do alone." With that, he snuggled up next to Brennan and attempted to fall asleep.
Okay, so I hope this nice, long B and B talk was worth the wait! As always, tell me what you thought!