Chapter 12: When demi-gods doubt themselves
Standing outside the door to the Great Hall... well... I stood there... and stood there... and stood there in anticipation of what would happen next. My head was reeling (and giving me a major headache, trust me, Children of Hermes are not designed to think this much!) at all the possible outcomes of this, so I referred to the one thing children of Hermes can do relatively well when under pressure, I snuck through the main doors unnoticed.
No... Honestly, the teachers didn't even seem to notice me, no one did... unless someone I didn't see was looking at the door in those exact moments...
I feel so unloved!
Nah, that'd be just plain sad... I know for sure that my siblings love me... or do they? Is this all a big conspiracy theory that I don't know about or are there so called 'concerns' about me true? Luke's still partially exist... well... not entirely but I wasn't dead, so that had to count for something!
Thoughts buzzing through my head – this metaphor might actually have the answer as to why thinking gives me headaches – I quietly sat down beside Lee, keeping my head down and eyes focused on the plate of food, standing for a second to throw some in the fire not far from where they were sitting before going back.
Laughing and talking to one another they seemed happy and it was almost as if I wasn't there; instead of being Riley, their friend I was simply another random person sitting close by, possibly almost being the centre of one of their pranks.
Thinking of which, would they prank me not knowing it was me, or would they pretend to not know it was me for the sake of pranking me and seeming innocent... oh no... Back to the conspiracy theories I go!
Sitting their though, watching them laugh and talk in an almost different manor, I felt like my presence simply intruded on what happened normally when they realised that I was around, of course my thoughts were for once dying to be proven right, ending the feeling of being a complete loner when I saw the hair in front of my eyes going bright red with gold streaks... I've got to say one thing, they certainly have house spirit!
"Why are you pranking me?" I questioned, looking up with attitude as soon as their laughter had died down. "What did I ever do to you, other than be forced into playing stupid and absolutely pointless games by you guys, but therefore asking the occasional help on a bit of an almost prank... so what have you got to say for yourselves?"
"Riley?"
"Oh, is that all you can say you strange teen, dying peoples hair other colours and then you ask them if they are themselves... what would your mother say? In fact, one of these days I must write her and question what she'd say under 'hypothetical' circumstances... wait... is that the new longest word in my vocab?" my rant sort of took a turn for the best after those two relatively long words, though after about three seconds I gave up trying to spell them and guessed that one of them had to be the new longest word actually used in my vocab!
An almost silence in the area of Gryffindor table I was sitting on followed... leaving me to see Katie not far away. Hanging my head in shame I looked away from all of them, they were the house of the brave and here was me sitting with them, a girl who'd been running away from her fears and mistakes for all of her life.
And just that one nightmare showed them all what us half-bloods were.
They were civilised, proper with the occasional pranks and jokes but the ability to be serious and attempt to work things out diplomatically, referring to war only when necessary. The only reason I was born was to fight for the gods when they couldn't fight for themselves, to challenge gods for one another when they couldn't. I was born to kill. I was born to kill in the name of the gods, for the gods really, and perhaps because of my father have a knack for illegal things and activities.
But then it all came back to the earlier statement; born to kill. I was born to kill, and then to die young, in a possibly torturous way, and the same went for all my siblings and extended family, or at least the ones with the ability to die.
Taking all of this into account I knew that I'd never understand the reason for Dumbledore's decision to invite us here, honestly a creak of the moving stairs could set us off to accidentally kill someone, and we were worthless in situations like these.
All the children here were innocent, unaware of what would happen, and here was I, a 15 year old girl who'd already killed, who'd already won a minor battle, who was able to say that she'd survived the perils of war.
And yet what claim is that when one never knows peace anyway?
Keeping my head hung, hair in front of face to cover the tears that were trying to get away during the thoughts of the battle I nodded, swinging my legs over the bench to face the other way.
"I hope you don't mind, I'm setting up 'camp' in the common room, I'll see ya there" I wasn't allowed to say I'd just grab my things... Annabeth said she'd murder me if I actually did, so following her advice I stood, hurrying up the stairs and into the girl's dormitory; at that point remembering I'd be taking a sleeping bag...
This would be a relatively long night...
I'd been hiding outside of the common room until after I was sure everyone else had gone to sleep, and only then did I dare to creep into the common room, checking the corners of the room carefully to look for a place nicely tucked away and out of sight, which I found pretty quickly; my 'room' for the next few days or weeks until I rejoined the other half-bloods would be a corner of Gryffindor Common room which was relatively close to the fire, but so that I wouldn't be visible unless you were actually looking for me in that exact spot... of course the new hair colour could probably change that but I was hoping that it wouldn't and my hair would return to the died brown it used to be!
So I sat in my little corner, not daring to fall asleep and making sure my weapons were tucked away somewhere else in case something unusual came over me, or if someone found and woke me. Sitting there, I wrapped myself in my sleeping bag, pulling my legs close as I leaned against the back wall, and for one of the first times in my life I contemplated and found myself... relatively scared and upset, so knowing I was alone, I dropped the act, beginning the cry all over again until everything else went black.
~Start Dream~
Looking down my hands were small, everything around me was large, two arms slung over my shoulders, I looked up to find Travis and Connor smiling down at me and almost immediately I knew that this was possibly my first memory from camp!
"Claimed or unclaimed" a male voice called out.
"Claimed" the girl who led us here responded, remembering back she'd died after a couple of months that I was in camp, I never knew her name. A sort of cheer went through the cabin, and immediately people's serious faces turned to smiles.
"Welcome to cabin 11" the same male said, looking up it was the unmistakable but visibly younger figure of my brother; Luke all over again. It went black again, like it had in my other dream, but this time was when I was when I was 13.
Capture the flag was being played out brutally all over again, Luke running ahead of myself as I simply flanked him, parrying the occasional attack before we outran the attacker all over again, but then we made it over the line. Cheering, we picked him up, lifting him on our shoulders and applauding, until a triton appeared over Percy's head, and for the first time in my life, I saw Luke give an evil, almost threatening look before bowing, an act which seemed to hurt him; I thought nothing of it.
Days later, Percy had gone on a quest and I was at the beach with Luke, splashing water all over the place in the first bikini that my brothers allowed me to wear, and I was happy to see I was already attracting some attention from some of the guys in camp. Suddenly, the playful look in Luke's eyes left before turning deadly serious.
"I'm leaving camp" he said, which caused me to stop splashing the water at him, my jaw dropping to almost touch the ground. "Come with me and I'll explain"
Wading out of the water without looking back he knew that I was going to follow anyway. Smiling as he turned he handed me a towel, leading me into the woods, somewhere that I didn't know too well, but I knew Luke, he'd protect me in a worst case scenario!
"You know how the gods don't care?"
"Yes" I replied, naive and unsure where the conversation was going.
"Kronos is making a comeback, he wants us to be taken care of better, he'll help us but first we have to help him rule to get to that stage. I stole the lightning bolt Riley, he told me to and I did it. A war will break out and in that situation the titan's will rise, Olympus will be destroyed and their won't be any more unclaimed half-bloods, they'll lead better lives" nodding as he spoke I didn't want to believe what he said, but he wasn't smiling, he was serious.
"In that case I'll come with you" I responded smiling as I reached towards his hand, then it changed though. Blue eyes were replaced by golden ones, a silly grin with a crooked smile.
"Good" the voice was deep and had the same scraping quality as the one in my last one, a dark chuckle as I screamed trying to get away.
~End dream~
Screaming and covered in sweat and quite possibly tears I shot up on my bed roll type sleeping bag, somehow I'd gotten myself in a lying position on the ground... somehow... don't ask me I won't have an answer.
Problem though, I wasn't the only one in the common room, instead there were two identical red heads, the girls that were at one stage (and possibly even now) my friends, and the unmistakable figure of Lee, though all of them looked slightly startled... my hiding in a corner theory must've worked...
Up until the screaming bit anyway!
Looking up I saw a mixture of looks from different people's eyes; pity, sadness, betrayal, shock and happiness all somehow mixed together. I'd have to go again, the only question was how with that group standing between me and the door.
Not to mention as Chasers and Beaters they had good reaction timing... these things always happened to me didn't they?
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