Chapter 6
(A/n) to the person who said that jerk isn't a bad word and the chapters where so short my computer messed up and put in the wrong chapter and my computer has limited space so I have to make my chapters short so stop complaining.
Disclamier: I do not own any of the characters from any of the legend of Zelda games.
-At the forest temple-
Ghoma says, "anybody who is not in the forest temple part of the story lets go beat the crap out of toon link in The Phantom Hour Glass.
-in the forest temple-
Link pulls out a to do list for the temple. Ghot asks, "what is that" "I don't know it is something I found at the entrance to this god for saken place, so it says that we have to save the monkeys first so I say we go left first." The new King Dodngo asks, "how do you know, you've never been here before?" "because it says so in the god damn strategy book, so shut up or you will get fired to" "okay jerk" Link stabbed King Dodngo through the head "I said shut up!" "now lets go save the god damn monkeys." Link walks through the door on the left, shots a skullta with his slingshot making it fall in to the water below it, jumps across a gap, goes through another door to find a key, walks back in to the previous room unlocks the locked door in that room to find a room with a monkey in a cage on top of a totem pole, so link chops the totem pole down, then freed the monkey and walked to the room he found the key in and a walks back to the main room because he needed the gale boomerang to get through.
Link goes through the next room he is supposed to go through and runs into some monsters and link snapped he ripped one's head off shoved it down another one's throat then rips the last one's arms off and beat it with its own arms until it was barely alive then took it to the room with the water in it and held the monsters head under until the bubbles stopped then ripped the monsters head off then each and every time he ran in to monsters each death got bloodier, brutal, and horrifying until he came to the boss he cut two of its three heads then jumped onto the last one with the eye ball he popped the eye out of the socket turned it around so the beast could watch it self die as link cut its body to shreds then link put on the silver gauntlets and pulled the boss out of the water it was in saw the head and ate the eye ball then he walked out of the temple covered in blood and had a smile on his face that could kill kittens all the bosses where there waiting for him
Ghoma says, "took you long enough" link stabbed her through the eye and chopped off her arms and left her there to die and everybody was quit as they watched in horror. Link says, "There are going to be changes around here. Barinade come here." Barinade slowly walked forward "NOW you three armed shit eating poor excuse for a boss!" Barinade was offended and tried to shoot Link with electricity but link dodged and cut off all his arms and shoved them up where he thought his ass was. Links says, " you try that again I will beat you with them until your barely alive then leave you there to let you die." Then Barinade started to cry well I think he did. Link said, "if anyone has anything to say about me they die, if anyone complains, attacks, or yells at me the get there head chopped off and shoved up their ass, and if anyone disobeys orders I will let the reviewers think up the most horrible way for me to kill that one person. Everyone agreed except for Bongo Bongo who just yell, "shut up you stupid bastard." Link stabbed him through the eye and chopped of his head and shoved it up his ass. "Any one else have any thing else to say?"
Every body shook there heads no. Link yelled, "speak when spoken to, so SPEAK!" Every one said, "no sir." Link says, "good now volvagia go get the iron boot from Mayor Boe's house NOW!"
Volvagia flew as fast as he could to get the iron boots, but came back two seconds to late, "your late you lose a arm for that," link chopped off one of volvagia's arms "now everybody go finish the second twilight area for me NOW!"