Seven Ghosts

Part One

Chapter Seven

Pilgrimage

[{Heiwajima Shizuo]}

One week. Then Izaya goes under the knife and may well never come back out. Even if he survives, there could still be permanent damage – brain surgery is tricky like that I guess. So I make him put together a bucket list. At least at first, I try.

"I don't want to," he tells me stubbornly.

"Shinra says you have a 68% chance of dying right there on the table, and if you survive only a 24% chance of coming out of it unscathed," I point out. "Don't you want to try things you'll never get the chance to do again?"

"But it's so cliché," he sighs, turning on the TV to an American cartoon. "And then I survive and learn an important life lesson about living each moment to the fullest, right? LAAAAME."

"I don't want to gloom and doom you, but death is kind of a big deal."

"I'm gonna sing the doom song now!" the television chirped in English. "Doom-doom-doomdoom-doom-doom-doomydoomy-DOOOOM...!" Izaya laughs.

I turn the TV off. "If you don't make one, I'm going to make one for you, and it will be full of shit I wanna do. I get a feeling our tastes are dramatically different, so make with the bucket list."

Izaya frowns. "Do we have to call it that?"

"Well what do you want to call it?"

"Hmmmmm..." He thinks. "Ghosts."

"Ugh. Morbid."

"You asked."

"Well fine," I agree. "Make your Ghosts then."

"Gimme a bit to think on it," he says, rising to sit at his desk and putting his glasses on. "I need to do some research."

"Good, I need to get something to eat. Your fridge and cupboards have nothing but condiments and oatmeal."

"Comes up easier," he tells me distantly, not even thinking about how disgusting those word make me feel about his new-found frailty.

I light up a cigarette once off grounds with a sigh of relief. At last, nicotine. I'm in my own little world at the corner store, grabbing something from the local deli and a few groceries along with a box of hair bleach for touch ups. I have a feeling I'm going to be in Shinjuku a lot for the next few weeks, may as well be prepared.

I must smoke almost half of my remaining pack knowing I couldn't smoke in Izaya's loft, and I return to a very quiet apartment, the only noise a faint snare beat from Izaya's headphones, still lost on the internet. I put the bags down and find a list on the fridge.

Seven Ghosts

In order of least to most important

Freerun Sunshine 60

Trend #peoplelove on Twitter

Get a Zen blessing

Publish a novel

Be in love

Fuck the crap out of Shizu-chan

Talk to my dad

The list is a little confusing and to be honest, surprising. "Can I ask about some of these?" Izaya doesn't reply. I've forgotten he was listening to his headphones, duh. "HEY!" I shout, waving my arms. He still doesn't notice. Maybe its because of his poor vision as of late. I walk over and unplug the jack from his tower and not realizing he had a secondary output, I am blasted by Gackt and flinch.

Startled, Izaya at last looks up and cranks the volume back down. "Whoa. Warn me."

"I tried."

"You know I probably can't eat any of that," he tells me, gesturing to the bags still by the refrigerator.

"More for me than you, but if you can handle it, I can cook sometime or whatever." I hold up the paper. "Can I ask about some of these?"

"Depends on which ones. I guess so, since you'll be helping me."

I snort. "How presumptuous, but yeah, I'll help you. The first one shouldn't be too hard to do –"

"I wanna do it while they're mostly closed," Izaya says, putting his glasses back in their case and leaning back in his chair, slowly spinning.

"That's trespassing," I tell him. "And unsafe in your condition."

"I know. The law breaking is part of the thrill, and I fully intend to push myself beyond my means, so since you're helping, you can drag my ass back here and throw me on some surface to recover on."

I roll my eyes. "Your Ghosts . If you want to scale a damn skyscraper, that's all you. We can do that one tonight if you want."

"Sure."

"And... you want to start a trend on Twitter?" I ask dubiously.

"Without mentioning that I'm dying," Izaya adds, looking at the ceiling while he spins. His arm twitches briefly and an annoyed look crosses his placid, thoughtful face. "Fuck..."

I decide to ignore it, so he's less uncomfortable. "Well I'm part of the Dollars, what if I post on the forums to try and get them to trend it?"

Izaya laughs suddenly. "Shizu-chan, despite your idiocy, you're a genius! I know the founder, you know..."

"You know the leader?" I demand.

"Of course! He would be happy to order his charity pawns around for a 'good cause,'" Izaya chuckles.

"Figures you would. Who is it?"

"That's a high price bit of information, Shizu-chan, I don't think you can afford it," Izaya says slyly, looking at me through slits of dark eyes accompanied by a matching smile. The sun hits his face just right and they seem to gleam red. Sometimes I'm convinced the man is the Devil Himself, if not in some sort of soul debt to the entity. Other times...

Izaya puts his hand to his forehead with a frown. "Ugh. Make this quick, Shizu-chan, I feel a migraine coming on, and it won't be pretty."

"Get a Zen blessing … I thought you were an atheist."

"I am."

I am so confused. "So... why bother getting blessed?"

"A study of people and the metaphysical qualities of intention," he replies, keeping his eyes locked on the ceiling, slowing his spin to a slight rock.

"I'll pretend I know what that means and just say I know a guy who knows a guy."

"Kasuka's Buddhist, isn't he?"

"...yeah, how did you...?"

"People Magazine, duh. I'm good, but not omnipotent," Izaya laughs. His mirth is starting to fade, and quickly, so I decide to continue.

"We can get out there this weekend if you want," I offer.

"Sounds like a date."

"Oh god, don't say that." I can tell he wants to keep laughing at me, but it's very clear at this point that he's starting to suffer a good amount of pain. "Hmph. Moving on. I didn't know you wrote a novel."

Izaya holds up a flash drive. "All the knowledge in my pretty little head about humans , crammed into 150,000 words and 16 chapters. It's edited, I've just been too chicken to call up a publisher."

"That's a matter of a few phone calls, but a week is not a big time frame to get that done..." I sigh.

"Eh. I don't care if I'm dead, so long as its out there."

"Well you told me about the love thing..." I say awkwardly, scratching my head.

He gives me a strange look that I can only associate vaguely with affection and smiles. "Yeah. I did."

"And uh … hm." I feel my face get a little warm at his next request. "I uh … don't understand this one."

Izaya actually does laugh, though it is strained. "How much more obvious do I need to be, Shizu-chan? I. Want to. Have sex. With you. I'm pretty sure it would have happened eventually anyway, but I figured with it out in the open you can get the 'mull it over' out of the way so there won't be any interruptions."

"Wh... well what if I don't want to?" I sound pretty lame as my ears get downright hot. That bastard was doing this on purpose!

"Given the adorable shade of red you're turning, I think I would have to disagree... heh heh..."

"Shut up." I'm actually pretty surprised it was so far up on his list. It was right under... "Wait, how long has it been since you've talked to your dad?"

Izaya stopped rocking the chair and instantly lost his smile. "About twelve years."

I nod. "Ah. It's one of those you can but you don't want to things."

I wasn't really expecting his glare to shoot daggers I could practically feel. "Pretend to love me, Shizuo, but don't you dare pretend you know me. This is something … I do not need your help with. I will do that on my own time and my own terms. These seven ghosts have been haunting me most of my life, and I would like to put them to rest, with or without you."

I put my hands up in surrender. Clearly a touchy subject with him, and considering how insane he's always been, I'm not surprised at all he has daddy issues. "Okay," is all I say, then I put the list back up on the fridge and start to put groceries away.

"Shizu-chan."

"Yeah."

"Thank you."

I pause and smile to myself, glad he can't see it. Glad he can't see how much a weight has been lifted off of my shoulders. Another has replaced it, but it stems from … something nice. "You're welcome, Izaya."