Title: Doctor

Summary: Kagura has a Yato sickness that has—ahem—strange side-effects. How will the men in her life deal with this tipsy, overly physical Kagura?

Rating: T

Up Next: Introspective

"I'm hot."

Normally, Gin would have ignored Kagura—or at least pretended to—just as he'd been ignored Shinpachi's moaning about the rent for the last couple minutes. Today, however, there was something difference, a catch in her voice that wasn't usually there, a husky timbre that sent his mind to places it really should learn to stay out of.

Shinpachi had frozen, his mouth clamping shut and then dropping open as he stared. "Uh, Kagura-chan," the younger man said nervously, "Are you ok?"

"I'm hot," the girl insisted, and Gin turned just in time to see a flushed, red-cheeked Kagura trip down the stairs. Shinpachi, who was closer, caught her before she face-planted onto the ground, and flinched back. Gin didn't miss the flush on his face as the boy sputtered at her.

Gin finally sighed and put down his magazine. "I can't understand you, and judging by the blank look on Kagura's face, she can't either." He reached their side and paused. "Uh, Kagura?"

The girl didn't look up from her position—which was her head buried in Shinpachi's reddening neck and her arms thrown haphazardly around his waist. "Mhmmm," she said, "Tired. Shin-chan smells good." She slipped downwards as the beet-red Shinpachi dropped her.

Gin caught her, hoisting her over his shoulder and trying to ignore the fact that she was cuddling close despite the fact that her skin was practically glowing with heat. "Yo, stop it," he ordered when she got just a bit too close, "You'll burn my skin."

"Kagura-chan has a fever," Shinpachi was saying behind him, but Gin ignored the boy in favor of getting the Yato girl up to her room. He tried to dump her onto her bed, but she clung on with all her strength—which meant he hadn't a chance in hell of getting her off.

"Kagura," he said warningly, "Get off."

"Mmrphh," was her only reply, "hot."

In the end, he dumped her on the couch, where she sprawled out, somehow managing to cover the huge piece of furniture with her five-foot frame. "Hot."

"Yeah," Shinpachi was saying into the phone, "She's burning up. What do we do?" Glancing at Kagura, he made a face, "I don't think she'll appreciate chicken soup right now, onee-chan, not with the way she's eyeing the fan like she wants to—Kagura, don't touch that!"

Kagura froze mid-leap, and fell back onto the couch, where she flipped onto her stomach and buried her face into the pillows. "It's cooler up there," she grumbled, but didn't renew her attempt to make the leap up to the ceiling, where the very old, very fragile looking fan was spinning slowly.

"Oi, China, heard you were sick," Gin turned to see Okita lounging at the doorway, looking uncomfortable. The sight made him feel slightly better until he realized that the same look was probably plastered all over his face. "Here," the young man muttered, tossing a can at Gin, "Hijikata was going on and on about it's healing properties."

"Mayonnaise," Gin snorted, and threw the can at Shinpachi, who just happened to glance away. The can hit him straight in the head and he fell backwards into the kitchen.

"Shin-chan!" Even her worried voice sounded like it was crawling through syrup. "Are you ok?" Kagura heaved herself off the couch, face reddening with the effort, "Ug. It's hot. I'm hot. Shin-chan, are you ok?" She collapsed back onto the couch.

Okita looked at her blankly. "Uh…"

"She's been like that all morning," Shinpachi made a miraculous recovery and stood, wobbling as he made for the door, "I think I need to see a doctor." The mayo can had, incredibly, stuck to his cheek. The other occupants in the room watched wordlessly as he stumbled out the door, and then listened as it slammed shut behind him.

There was a cry of horror. The sound of police sirens. The three relaxed.

Or, at least, two relaxed and the third fell off the couch.

"Oi, China." Okita poked her with one foot. "Get up. I'm not going to drag your fat body off the ground."

"Shut up," Kagura moaned, not moving, "S'not fat. I'm hot." Okita bent down to try to lift her up, and Gin started forward, but it was too late. Kagura had effectively latched on to him, much as she'd done to him and Shinpachi earlier. Unfortunately, Okita was a couple inches taller than Shinpachi, so her face landed smack-dab in his collarbone, and her arms went around his neck, where she hung like an overgrown koala bear.

"Kagura, what—" It was a sign of just how flustered he was that the blonde used her name, "What do you think you're—" He choked off as Kagura pushed closer. "S'hot," she insisted, "You're cold."

"And dead," a cheerful voice commented, "Don't forget dead."

Okita spun, managing somehow to dislodge Kagura and pull her behind him in the same movement. Kamui stood, umbrella in one hand, a bucket in the other—and the scariest smile he'd ever seen plastered on his face. "Yato fevers are Yato business," he said softly, "You shouldn't have attempted to deal with her in her condition."

"And you're much better, I suppose?" Okita shot back, "It's not like we had your number. Did you expect us to hire a detective to track you down?"

"Yato fevers are Yato business," Kamui repeated, "And I suggest you walk away now so I can cure my sister."

Okita hesitated. "What's in the bucket?"

Kamui's smile grew. "Care to find out?"

Kagura's abrupt moan interrupted the two's glaring contest. "Onee-chan," she said, stumbling forward, "S'hot. I don't like it."

Kamui didn't try to catch her as she fell. Instead, he took the bucket and emptied it over her head. There was an audible hiss as what looked like an avalanche smothered Kagura's red face. Okita lunged forward, "What—"

Kamui didn't even blink, but smoothly evaded the other man, continuing to pour the dry ice over his sister's body. Gin stepped forward, "You'll smother her," he said, and there was a note of warning in his voice that reminded Kamui of the day he'd acknowledged the silver-haired samurai as his rival.

Before anyone could move, however, the mound of ice suddenly shifted, and Kagura rose, eyes blazing. "Ka-mu-i," she hissed, eyes red, "You meanie!" She lunged forward, but in her disoriented state, her older brother easily caught her and swung her over his shoulder much as Gin had.

"I'll take her to her room," he told the other two men, "You two clean up." Seeing that the other two were about to argue, he gave them a flat stare. "Yato fevers are Yato business. There's a reason we don't let others near us when we're sick. Yato prefer to kill knowing that it was deliberate, not the result of an overenthusiastic hug."

And with that, he marched upstairs with a struggling Kagura throwing useless punches at his back.