The Little Things Count More
CHAPTER 5
Bobby watched as Dean's eyes blinked slowly, aching to close.
"Go back to sleep, Dean. Sam is okay, he's snoozing right next to you."
"Hurts…can't sleep."
"I wish I could do more for you," Bobby said.
"It's okay, Bobby. How many more hours do I have to get through?" Dean joked.
"Several, I'm afraid," Bobby hated saying.
"Piece of cake," Dean joked again, a groan escaping his lips.
Dean's face then contorted and his throat made noises in a way that Bobby recognized and he knew Dean was going to throw up. He grabbed the bathroom waste paper basket nearby and held it for him, bracing him tightly in his grip, making sure that Dean wouldn't need to exert too much of his waning strength on trying to prop himself up. Once he was done, Bobby wiped Dean's lips with another towel and gave him more ice chips. Dean moaned in exhaustion and relief.
"Guess I shouldn't have used a food metaphor, huh?" Dean still managed to joke, weak as he was. "Thanks…sorry, I'm being such a wussy."
"Nonsense, Dean. This venom's a real nasty one."
"You're…telling me. You know, I've never had the flu before? Sam used to get them a lot."
"Sam said that you seemed immune."
"Guess so, but after this, I'm getting flu shots."
Bobby lightly laughed, but felt sad over the thought that Dean would never get those flu shots he was joking about.
"Dean, try to go back to sleep."
"Tell this to Sam and I'll deny it, but you know, I didn't really mind taking care of him."
Bobby looked into Dean's sincere face and smiled.
"Your secret's safe with me," Bobby joked.
"He could be a real baby sometimes, but I kinda felt bad that he didn't have mom to comfort him. All he had was me. I couldn't be mom, but I remember how patient she was with me when I'd whine and complain because I was feeling bad. Sam deserved that too…" Dean trailed off, taking a moment to breathe in a large sigh. "The little things, they count, you know?"
Bobby felt his throat constrict with emotion at Dean's compassion towards his brother.
"Yeh, they do," Bobby agreed softly.
"Bobby?"
"Yeh?"
"Do you think we can win this war?"
Bobby was struck dumb and silent for a moment by the question. In his heart, he wanted to tell Dean that he believed that they could, that good would prevail over evil, but he would think back to how unjust he felt the world was to take someone as good as Dean out of the battle and couldn't find the will to say that to him.
"I want to believe we can, but truth is, I don't know."
Dean nodded.
"Wish I could be there to see you win," Dean said, his smile genuine.
Bobby couldn't utter a word. He had been struck speechless. The thought of not seeing Dean there with them at the end, no matter what the outcome, was too painful to entertain.
"I told Henriksen that I thought the world was going to end bloody, but that it didn't mean we shouldn't go down fighting…that I was…planning to go down fighting…but after Nancy…after Ruby suggested we kill her to save ourselves and I watched Sammy hesitate…then tell me it was a good choice…that others would die if we didn't…I…I realized that it wasn't enough just to fight, we do have to win, but not Ruby's way…by choosing to kill an innocent…to survive…maybe I'm fooling myself…but I can't win that way."
"You're not fooling yourself, Dean. Doing evil begets more evil. Simple as that. The only reason we humans survive at all is because people like you believe that doing the right thing is the only thing that can defeat evil."
Dean looked into Bobby's eyes.
"Help Sam believe that, Bobby…can't let him think that's the way you win wars."
Dean's eyes then drifted closed. Bobby was selfishly grateful that he didn't have to make a promise he wasn't sure he could keep.
oooo
TBC