Chapter 8: Change me back, I want to party

Gwen Cooper walked across the Plass at seven thirty am, possibly the earliest she'd ever come to work but she had to get out of the flat. The romantic night in she had wanted had turned into a night of playing nurse...and not in a fun way. She had come home after the whole John Hart incident ready to relax and have an early night only to find her fiancé lying on the couch wrapped in a blanket and surrounded by discarded tissues. Rhys had a severe case of man flu and by when he woke her up at six o'clock this morning with is coughing she hadn't bothered trying to get back to sleep, she had left him in bed with a kiss and a promise to check on him later that morning. She hadn't expected anyone else to be at the HUB this early so rode the invisible lift down to the main level as she expected the tourist office to be locked,

"Gwen, what are you doing here so early?" Jack, Ianto, Tosh and Owen were all stood around Tosh's station and looked up in shock at the new arrival, Gwen being early was almost unprecedented, the only other time having been when she had come in with Ianto two weeks ago. Once they got over their shock the others went back to what they had been doing before, which had apparently been arguing:

"It's not safe, we disabled them for a reason" Tosh was taking an alien looking device out of Jack's hands and put it back into the box of tools the team knew never to touch...Tosh was protective of her sonics

"I know what I'm doing" Jack almost wished he'd changed Ianto back last night to avoid this argument, Tosh and Owen were so obsessed with checking and double checking that everything was safe.

"And we're just supposed to trust that, fuck you Harkness" Ianto rubbed his temples at Owen's outburst, he trusted that Jack wouldn't have agreed to change him back of there was a serious risk to his safety even if he couldn't trust him about anything else right now.

"Stop" Ianto held up his hands and the team fell silent "This is my choice and I agree with Jack" Owen looked like he was about to argue but Ianto shot him a glare and he stalked off to the med bay, Tosh went after the medic to try and calm him down a bit.

Gwen was utterly confused, having gone home last night rather than back to Ianto's with the others. She followed Ianto when he went down to the gym and started stretching in front of the mirrors and asked him what she'd missed.

"Jack knows how to change me back"

"But that's good news?"

"He also told Tosh a bit more about the nano bots," Ianto repeated what Jack had told them over breakfast after they had had an argument which woke Owen and Tosh, he explained tat he had encountered nano genes before in 1941 London and told them about the damage they did there, from the data Tosh had on her PDA he had deduced that the nano genes inside Ianto were from an earlier point in time than the ones he had dealt with in the past, probably around the 33rd century by their design which made them even more dangerous. Once the medic and the technician heard this they had become reluctant to let Jack mess with the technology on his own and they had been arguing ever since.

"So what do you want?" they gave up on the idea of working out and just sat on the mats

"I want to be me again." Ianto was sick of looking in the mirror and seeing someone else there, sick of hormones and not being as strong as he should be. Jack's return only added to his confusion, somehow he could trust Jack with his life even if he couldn't trust him not to leave, he wanted to be himself to regain some control.

Three hours later and the team had quietened down, Jack had spent the morning trying to apologise for leaving between the shouting matches which kept breaking out, they had called a truce for the time being as their yelling had upset Myfanwy and the Pterodactyl was now swooping around the HUB while Tosh tried to calm her down. Between Jack, Gwen and Ianto they had managed to persuade Owen into changing Ianto back but the medic had insisted that Ianto be sedated throughout the change, he had been unconscious when he was changed into and Owen was trying to keep the conditions as similar as possible. Ianto Jones was lay on the examination table of the med bay with his arms extended in front of him like some kind of zombie trying to touch the dancing lights that only he could see.

"Is he?" Gwen had come down the stairs to see Jack and Owen taking a break from their constant arguments to laugh at the archivist's behaviour.

"High as a kite yeah, the nano genes seem to be fighting the sedative we gave him so all it's done is got him stoned" Owen's plan to sedate Ianto through his change had fallen through when it became apparent that technology rendered him resistant to the drugs in his veins.

"How much longer do you think it'll be till he starts to change?" Gwen took a seat on the stool next to the bed which Jack had vacated a minute earlier, ignoring the glare she received from her boss

"Any time now, I'm going to grab a coffee and I'll be back"

"Please Owen I'm begging you don't make me one, I nearly died after the last cup you made" Jack couldn't help but throw the comment at the snarky medic, while they had officially called a truce for Ianto's sake they still exchanged barbs.

"Damn, I'll try harder next time then maybe we'll get a few minutes peace"

Gwen had listened to the two men argue all morning but it seemed that Owen's comment had really hurt Jack, the Captain schooled his expression quickly but there had been a flash of hurt in his eyes before they returned to their usual icy blue. Gwen stood and motioned that the captain should have his seat back, Ianto lowered his arms and his eyelids drooped.

"It's starting, the nano genes are putting him to sleep so they can work" Jack's voice was flat as he explained what was going on but Gwen stood behind him with a comforting hand on his shoulder as he took Ianto's hand and settled in for a long wait. Jack was so close to getting Ianto back – his Ianto and now he was scared, Ianto's reaction when they woke up together this morning showed him just how much he had hurt the other man. Would Ianto still want him once he had his body back or had he completely ruined any chance of a real relationship? He looked down at the sleeping Welshman who had begun to whimper slightly with the discomfort of his body shifting and changing tiny flecks of orange light danced around him.

"Gwen?"

"Hmm" The Welshwoman stayed behind him but gave his shoulder another light squeeze

"How did this happen? Ianto never told me about what caused the change" He was lying, in the brief time they talked last night Ianto had answered Jack's questions about Sven and Jack was pissed, not only had somebody slept with his Ianto while he was gone but they'd caused him so much pain as well. Gwen swallowed and told Jack about the alien locked up in the cells of level three and sat with Ianto as Jack excused himself to go find Owen.

Sven lay on the narrow bed of his cell staring at the same patch of damp ceiling that he had been focussed on for the last three days when he felt somebody approaching, he didn't know this person but the surface emotions he could sense had him cowering in the corner before they ever reached the glass wall of the cell. Jack glared done at the creature in front of him, so this was the man who had turned Ianto into a woman? He hardly seemed dangerous cowering in the corner but from what Gwen had told him of the man's stalkerish methods it was likely that he wasn't nearly as strong as he claimed to be, Ianto was afraid of Sven and wouldn't come down here because the man had made him feel powerless. Now Sven was going to get some of the same.

"Drink?" Jack held out a bottle of water to the man in front of him, the anger which had surrounded him like a cloud was gone now and Sven couldn't sense any emotion from him at all. Sven accepted the drink gratefully, with all that had gone on nobody had remembered to bring him any food yet so he hadn't eaten or drunk since yesterday morning, within seconds the water was gone and Sven handed the bottle back.

"I'm going to ask you some questions and if I like your answers then I'll sort you out something to eat, okay?" The alien nodded, in the next ten minutes Jack learned his name, planet of origin and reason for coming to earth, Sven had no idea why he was so cooperative to this stranger but the man kept his promise and gave Sven something to eat so he didn't really care. Jack had just stood to leave the cell when Tosh came running down the corridor.

"What the hell do you think you're doing Jack?" The half smile on the captain's lips worried her but she could see nothing physically wrong with Sven

"We were just talking, I wanted to ask him a few questions and he was happy to help weren't you SvenFnau" The alien nodded mutely, his eyes were glazed over and as the two watched he fell asleep leaning against the stone wall of his cell

"What did you do?" Jack had never seen Toshiko so authoritative before and it looked like she might had copied a few tricks from Ianto as she stared him down, that look did its job and Jack let slip the information faster than Sven had done

"I dosed his water with something to make him tell the truth, I needed to know if he was safe to release"

"Release? He's a dangerous kidnapping alien who turned Ianto into a bloody woman! How could we release him unless..." She ran into the cell and checked Sven's pulse to see that he had gone into a deep sleep as the drug in his system did its work "You gave him the alien-strength RETCON?, we still haven't tested that it's not safe"

Jack walked away as Tosh called Owen on the comms, as they passed each other the medic gave him a quick shove before hurrying towards Sven's cell. Jack didn't really care, Sven hadn't given the sane thought to safety when he had used primitive nano technology to change Ianto's DNA so completely and this was the only way that an alien prisoner could ever be released from Torchwood, Sven looked human enough to live his life without their intervention and RETCON was the only way Jack could be sure that he wouldn't come back for Ianto.

Tosh sat on the concrete steps of the med bay watching her sleeping friend, his changes seemed to be complete but after six hours asleep he had yet to wake up. Owen, Jack and Gwen had gone out for a rift alert twenty minutes ago – there was some kind of giant egg in Grangetown which was spitting blue goop at the locals. Standing, Tosh went up to the kitchen and made a cup of tea, looking at the state Owen had left the coffee machine in she wasn't going to risk touching it, Ianto was going to be angry enough as it was. She made it back down to the med bay just in time to see Ianto sitting up to stare at his hands.

"Hey." His fascination with hands reminded her of the CCTV she had seen of him before he had fallen asleep "Are you still high?" He looked up at her and she couldn't help the grin that spread across her face at her friend being back to normal.

"When was I..." the memories of his drug induced fascination with lights and Owen's amusement at his state sent a blush across his face "Oh" He put a hand to his throat, hardly believing the voice that he had just heard, the hand moved to touch different areas of his face, his hair, and then travelled to his chest which was mercifully flat. Tosh looked on in amusement until Ianto stood and bounded up the stairs to capture her in a bear hug, they're both grinning but Tosh frowned and her mouth soon formed a pout.

"You got tall again" To demonstrate her point she came down a step so that he stood a few inches taller than her and Ianto looked down at himself.

"At least I'm not falling down this time, guess I'm already used to my height changing" he remembered falling off the examination table six weeks ago and struggling to regain his balance afterwards and for once was thankful to the nanogenes inside him, they had turned his life upside down but at least his feet were firmly on he ground this time. The clock being projected onto the wall of the med bay told him that it was six pm but the HUB was strangely quiet.

"Where is everyone?" What he could remember of the minutes before he fell asleep Jack had been at his side and he had hoped that the other man would be there when he woke up, he had promised to stay with him.

"Giant egg thing in town, they've gone to..." she was cut off by the alarms sounding and the cog-door wheeling open. Ianto found himself with an armful of Gwen who had run straight over to hug him leaving a bewildered Jack and Owen behind her. Owen looked tired and Jack was covered in some kind of goo.

"What?" Ianto had no idea what had happened but for someone other than Owen to be wearing the alien goo was unusual.

"Don't ask" Jack grumbled while Owen suppressed a laugh.

"Will I be cleaning that coat"

Jack looked down at his coat like he was seeing the damage for the first time" My coat" his face dropped and they all held back the laughter that threatened to show, they may not have forgiven their captain entirely but they couldn't pretend that his love for that bloody coat wasn't hilarious.

"It's okay sir, I've dealt with worse" Ianto couldn't believe how quickly he had fallen back into old habits but now everything was back to normal it seemed only natural for them to revert to their old roles in the team, and seeing the state of Jack's clothes Ianto could hardly just watch as the stains became harder and harder to wash out. He dropped Jack's coat off in a pile of laundry as Jack went into the showers to get the rest of the goo off and he went in search of something to wear that wasn't a hospital gown in his locker, The pyjama like outfit had been far too big when he put it on this morning but it had been necessary during his change because he was going to change size but now he was back to himself he just wanted to be back in his own clothes.

Ten minutes later found a very frustrated Ianto throwing a pair of jeans back into a locker screwed into a ball with an angry shout.

"What's the matter?" Gwen took in the sight of the flushed Welshman in a red shirt and black boxers "Lost your pants?" Ianto scowled at her attempt at humour

"I'm fat, my stupid jeans won't fit."

"which ones?" he retrieved the hated clothing and held them up for her to see

"ah, those jeans" Gwen walked past Ianto and reached into the locker and pulled out another pair of jeans from the middle shelf "Last time I saw you in those I swore you must have sewn yourself into them they were so tight, if they're too tight it's because you've finally been eating properly, you're not fat just healthy. She saw that he didn't believe her but was happy when Ianto put away the jeans that had always been a size to small if he was honest and pulled on the blue jeans she handed him then located shoes and stood looking in the mirror.

"It's all Rhys' fault you know" Ianto told her as he knelt to tie his shoes, he explained that before she'd started taking him home like a stray cat for dinner twice a week he hadn't been eating too much so it was Rhys and his irresistible lasagne that was to blame for his jeans not fitting.

"Ah yes, that fiancé of mine is a diabolical genius with an evil plot to make Ianto Jones fat" Gwen's sarcasm showed Ianto just how ridiculous he was being about the whole thing. He folded the jeans he had previously thrown into the locker and bent to stow them on the bottom shelf when they were interrupted buy a now clean Jack fresh out of the shower.

"Wow, what have I done to deserve the rent boy jeans?" Ianto flushed as Jack entered the room in nothing but a towel and reminded him of the nickname this particular pair of jeans had gained after Ianto had been propositioned six times while lingering on a street corner wearing those jeans when Jack was late picking him up one night after a weevil had interrupted their not a date as Jack called it at the time. Ianto shot him a warning look but the Captain's attention was diverted when Tosh walked into the room only to freeze in the doorway, not expecting to have an audience when she came down to get changed.

"I sent Owen home to get some sleep, are we still on for tonight Ianto?" Ianto looked confused for a moment until he remembered their plans, it seemed like a million years since they decided to go clubbing yesterday morning.

"Of course we're going out, It's Friday night!"

"Five drinks for a tenner" They resisted the urge to high five but still got weird enough looks from Gwen and Jack. Gwen refused to go out with them – she and Owen had sworn they were possessed by nineteen year old lunatics last time the team went down to Club X for a night out and had refused to go back with them after that. Jack agreed to go with them and within ten minutes the three of them were dressed ready and heading out towards Charles street.

Whatever Jack had been expecting when he agreed to go out with Ianto and Tosh to a gay bar it wasn't what he got, almost immediately after arriving the pair had disappeared off onto the dance floor while Jack sat it out and got a drink at the bar, the music not exactly his style just like the fruity alco-pop sitting untouched in his hand. He watched as Ianto and Tosh danced with different people, seeming to know a lot of them. He hadn't seen them so free before, one man was doing a strange dance move that didn't really fit with the fast paced music but it soon caught on and soon half of the dance floor were swinging their arms and hips in the same fluid motion.

"What was that?" he asked when Ianto joined him back at the bar while Tosh carried on dancing with a couple on the dance floor

"It's called the dougie, Damon likes to start it off and see how many people copy him, it's a laugh" Jack chose to ignore the Damon part, the tanned man who had been dancing with Ianto a minute earlier had already moved on to a new partner anyway so it wasn't worth it.

"I've got to say it's one of the strangest things I've ever seen" Ianto laughed and was glad to be able to talk to Jack without any of his old hurt getting in the way, they were relaxed and if dancing the dougie was what it took to make them forget their problems then that was what he had to do. He signalled Sid the bartender who lined up a dozen brightly coloured shots and smiled at Jack's shocked look, Tosh downed her shots then went back to dance and Ianto did three of his then held up the fourth until Jack picked up his own. Soon all of the alcohol was gone and it didn't matter that Jack would rather be dancing to Glenn miller than David guetta- they were on the dance floor moving like idiots with complete strangers doing a dance that couldn't be more out of place than it was here on a rainy night in Cardiff

AN/ So Ianto is himself again and he and Jack are starting to work through their problems... even if their methods are a bit unconventional. Things are going to get a bit heavy in the next chapter so I really felt the need to add a funny little chapter in the middle. For news on chapter development, and sneak previews see my fan fiction twitter Beka_Reynolds29 (I apologise to anyone I gave the wrong name to, I was very sleepy yesterday)