there's a million&one ways
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A/N: I'm terribly sorry for not getting this chapter out sooner, but my old laptop's keyboard decided to go to keyboard heaven about a day after I posted the last chapter. :x Oh well, enjoy the chapter! And have a good Columbus Day! Even if he didn't realize America was a separate continent, lol.
I would also like to dedicate this chapter to anyone who has reviewed. It's been fun reading and replying to what you guys have to say. :)
FYI,, TC and Skywarp aren't gay! They have a complicated back story that'll be explained later on.
Replies:
Starfire201,, yeah . . . poor Jetfire doesn't realize what he's doing. –pats jetfire's head-
Pairings: Annabelle Lennox w/ Starscream vs. Annabelle Lennox w/ Ironhide
Disclaimer: I do not own transformers or any of them; they are rightfully copy-writed to their respectful owners.
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The hours it took to reach the outer limits of the Arctic Circle had felt more like nanoseconds to Jetfire. The anxious, fluttering emotions that usually "slowed" time down expectantly distorted time in an unusual opposite affect. The hours leading up to meeting Thundercracker usually gave the autobot enough time to think about his strategy to "stay on the fence" without being marked a traitor, but instead he couldn't finish a single thought. Only miniscule fragments from coherent thoughts bounced annoyingly off the imaginary walls in his processors. As he glided lower over the seamlessly endless land of ice, he felt the pang of guilty surge through his spark. He could, deep within the recesses of his spark, hear his pre-war self-muttering the name "Annabelle" over and over. He curled his dark hands into frustrated fists. Jetfire couldn't stand to hear the name muttered one more time, but it wasn't the actual name that bothered him so deeply. It was the person – himself – who spoke it that annoyed him. The saturating hate that burned like acid into his spark was reserved for himself.
The rustling of the wind and solemn humming from his thrusters drifted barely registered inside his processors. The unconscious act of landing scattered the slushy snow across the transparent blue ice. The ice eerily creaked underneath his bulk, and the small family of three polar bears leapt instinctively into the frigid sea. Their splashes were enough to grab his attention momentarily before being drowned in his thoughts, and drowning was the perfect word that kept flashing inside his mind.
Drowning . . . he had heard the term many times when Ironhide expressed his concern about Annabelle swimming for her school's team. His internal lingual systems compiled a list of definitions of the word drowning. The obvious was suffocation by submerging (in water), and of all the definitions it was what could describe his current emotional and physical status. Instead of yearning for oxygen, he was craved the smell of Annabelle's scent. Unlike a human who thrashed wildly, he was stationary and to some degree, composed. Like a human, he felt the crushing weight of the world pressing the life out of him. Like a human, he felt his strength leave his body, and reluctantly, he saw the end begin to dawn. Someone, within himself, would die. The thought of calculating of whether this Jetfire that been created during the war or his pre-war Skyfire self would win was one equation he did not want to finish.
Jetfire carefully pulled out a hot pink rabbit's foot. It had been a gift that Annabelle had given him when he first arrived. "You'll need it," she had told him bluntly. "Especially if you're gonna keep up with me!" A frail smile pulled at his lips. It was as if she had foreseen the trouble she would put the autobots through. He sighed, and the small smile was washed away. He clutched the rabbit foot, and pressed his closed hand to his forehead.
"I've lost my faith in Primus," he spoke. "But the humans look to you." Jetfire glanced to the crystal skies above him. A pale sun was gingerly floating in the absent space. "And I hope you will make the exception, and allow someone not created in your image to ask for help . . . Please, keep Annabelle alive long enough till I can bring her back into the autobot's safety. " The mech bowed his head. "Amen."
Overhead he heard a roar that could challenge a lion's. In response, his spark plummeted to a new, higher level of shame and guilt. There was only so much he could justify he told himself. 'And then . . . ' His thought didn't need to finish itself when he already knew the outcome. In a very human manner, the mech tried to swallow the painful emotions that clung to his processors. The autobots glanced wearily at his shadow. 'Someday we will be one,' he thought forebodingly. His optics moped mournfully to the rabbit foot in his hand before he placed its storage space. How we wished he could retreat into a safe storage space like the rabbit's foot, and to be protected. Jetfire found himself once again longing to return to his tomb and leave this world behind. Only unpaid debts drug him back down to the ground.
He bowed his head at the sound of two simultaneous transformations occurring. To his right, Thundercracker safely came to a soft stop; while Skywarp, on his left, slid to a stop and sprayed the soggy solid onto his comrades. The pure ebony mech sported a vain grin for his recent stunt. With arrogance that could match Starscream's, Skywarp strolled hastily to the group. A cat-like stealth graced his movements that seemed to come naturally to the seeker. "Did ya see that, Teecee?" he asked smugly. "Bet ya you couldn't do that!"
Thundercracker dismissed the cheeriness lurking inside Skywarp's deep violet optics. "We aren't here for fun and games," he reminded brutally. Skywarp and Jetfire stiffened at the cutting edge of Thundercracker's words. Jetfire forced himself to look at Thundercracker's brooding face. The blue-tinted mech folded his arms across his chest. "What are you staring at, Skyfire?" he barked.
Jetfire instinctively stumbled backwards, and dropped his gaze to the ground. "N – no – nothing," he muttered apologetically.
"That's what I thought," Thundercracker retorted. He nodded to Skywarp, and his wing-mate chuckled darkly. Skywarp crept sadistically to the autobot's back, and unceremoniously kicked Jetfire to his knees. Thundercracker took Jetfire's chin roughly in his hand. "For whatever reason Starscream has sent us here," he spat loudly. "We are to listen to what excuse you have to save your sorry ass for the something time." He tightened his grip on Jetfire's face, and forced the mech to look him in the optics. "Now," he ordered more calmly. "Speak."
Skywarp's knee pressed against the crevices in his back. The tailfin that protruded from his knee wedged itself in between the armor, and touched the delicate wires. Jetfire winced as he was forced to override the warnings that alerted him to danger. "I'm not here as an enemy," Jetfire choked. Skywarp pressed his knee further into the autobot's back. "I swear!" he pleaded.
"Why are you here?" Thundercracker asked suspiciously. "Because by coming here, you are disobeying your orders to stay with the autobots and act as a spy." He heartlessly smiled as Skywarp grabbed Jetfire by the shoulders, and held him in place. The black seeker pressed his knee farther into the circuits. "I will not give you the same tolerance Starscream has so pathetically given you."
Skywarp looked questionably to Thundercracker. This was not at all like his brother to disobey Starscream so bluntly. He hadn't seen his bond-mate act so defiantly since the beginning of the war. Skywarp loosened his grip on Jetfire. His commander began to circle around Jetfire like he was a meal to be devoured. "Now," Thundercracker purred grimly. "Tell me the truth, and I may spare your poor excuse for a decepticon."
"I have nowhere to go," Jetfire confessed. "The autobots, they know too much! Please, Thundercracker, they would have executed me for treachery had I not done what I did!" Thundercracker looked curiously at Jetfire. He motioned with his hand for the mech to continue with his story. "Before you rescued Starscream, I overheard Ratchet discussing what I had told Starscream. Then Optimus was trying to bribe Starscream into releasing the information!" Thundercracker straightened himself, astounded that Optimus would sink to such lengths. "After you rescued Starscream, I knew my time was coming to an end there. I had to deceive them to escape!"
"Deceive them?" Skywarp asked.
"Precisely, 'Warp," Thundercracker concurred. "What exactly did you have to do to deceive them?"
Jetfire hesitated. 'Don't do it,' peeped a small voice inside his spark. 'Don't do it!' The tiny voice retreated as he opened his mouth. "I told them I could get Annabelle back if they let me go back and "pretend" to be a decepticon. I explicitly told them that Starscream would welcome me back into the ranks; that way I could bring Annabelle back to them. It eliminated all questions of my loyalty to the autobots."
The blue seeker nodded approvingly. "You play your part well, Skyfire," he praised. "Very well." Skywarp backed away from the large mech, and eagerly joined his brother's side. A pang of relief washed over him at the absence of Skywarp's knee in his back. "But you will not be allowed to return to the base with us for security reasons . . . That will be Starscream's decision."
"Thank you for your mercy," Jetfire said softly.
"Don't thank me just yet," Thundercracker informed. He turned his head, and glared at Skywarp. "You," he barked. "Head back to the base. If Starscream is there, tell him about our current situation."
"Why don't you ju – "
"Don't argue with your superior, Skywarp!" he lashed. The black seeker stuck up his head before taking flight. With a critical eye, Thundercracker watched intently as his bond-mate transformed, and blasted his way passed the sound barrier. "God damn seeker is more trouble than he's worth," Thundercracker complained. He held out his hand, and helped to bring Jetfire to his feet. "You're lucky that I didn't decide to kill you."
"What held you back?" Jetfire inquired.
"My good conscious," the seeker answered sarcastically. Thundercracker stared out at the ocean. The blue waters provided a nice distraction from the awkward feeling of Jetfire breathing down on him. "I don't see why Starscream would welcome you back. Jetfire. You've been of no help for the past decade. You better hope to be of some use to Starscream or else you'll end up in the Well of Allsparks."
"Hell," he corrected.
"What?" the mech asked, sounding slightly insulted.
"Hell," Jetfire responded. "That's where I'm going when I leave this plain of existence."
"If you believe in that kind of stuff," he huffed.
"You're an atheist?"
Thundercracker nodded. "No sane entity would create a world, or universe for that matter, where his creations go and blow each other to pieces. There's no logic there . . . Besides, if there were a hell, no one would survive there because everyone would be killing one another. And how could a perfect, blissful place exist? If it were to exist, it would deprive its inhabitants of freedom to preserve the peacefulness." He scooped a clump of snow into his hand. "When we die, we die. There's no fate that exists beyond this one." Thundercracker patted the snow into a sphere. "I don't see why people look for a purpose in this life."
"But science can't explain why something happened," Jetfire argued. "Only how it happens."
"I would have thought you to be an atheist," the seeker replied casually. "Being a scientists and all . . . "
"I've been in my field of interest long enough that I know nothing can explain for life," he stated. "I've seen so many things in my life that are unexplainable . . . Skywarp for example. How anyone could survive an explosion like that and still have a spark is beyond all calculations and theories. What happened to him was – "
"A fluke," Thundercracker finished bluntly. "That's all it was. And it's not like he entirely survived either. He doesn't anything from his past life. He just started from scratch again."
"You've done a good thing by taking him under your wing," Jetfire offered.
"Have I done a good thing?" he questioned. Thundercracker glanced at Jetfire. The annoying feeling of doubt began to seep into his processors, and he was sure Jetfire could see it in his optics. "He is nothing like his former self. He has no morals, no love for anything but risk. He's not the same lonesome creature he used to be. I've raised a monster, Skyfire. And sadly I've let my emotions become too attached to him."
"Why are you going in such depths with me?" he asked hesitantly.
"Because when you love a monster, then you'll do almost anything for it," Thundercracker stated. His optics buried their selves into Jetfire's optics. "I know for a fact that 'Warp will be the end of my existence."
"Starscream will not be the end of my existence," Jetfire argued.
"I'm not talking about Starscream," Thundercracker informed. The black mech made a small "oh" with his lips, and looked away. Sympathy climbed into his processors, and before he could stop it, Thundercracker placed a hand Jetfire's shoulders. "Humans are a species not worthy of such energy." Jetfire stiffened, his boding becoming rigid like a comet. "Don't' worry," the seeker spoke. "I know what it means to sacrifice your values for something."
"But why aren't you – "
"Just don't let them know you aren't loyal to the cause," Thundercracker warned. "Or else I'll have to kill you then."
"So she's okay?" Jetfire asked. He could feel his need to search for answers begin to arise.
"I can't tell you that," the seeker informed bitterly. The other mech looked down at the ground with hardened eyes. He knew logically that Starscream would try to separate him from her. "As you know, humans are quite the hardy species." Jetfire smiled at the news, but Thundercracker's face did not share his emotions. He could see the trouble that lay behind his superior's optics. The Sr-71's spark plummeted for the second time. "But they weren't made to live with us."
"I feared that," he responded emotionlessly.
"Like I said," Thundercracker restated. "Don't let yourself get involved with a monster."
"But what if it's too late?" he inquired softly.
"Then, as the humans say," the seeker answered. "You're up shit creek without a paddle." The two looked at each other before chuckling. "We're both fucked," Thundercracker added lightly. Jetfire abruptly stopped chuckling, but the seeker began to laugh harder at his words. The words held a heftier weight behind them, and both of them knew it.
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She ran her fingers through her hair again. The dark strands seemed unreal to be hers; even after the tenth time of examining her hair, Anna couldn't believe she had gone from a vibrant California blonde to a brunette. It didn't feel right to have to cover her blonde hair with dyes; especially since the blonde hair had been a trait that she had been thrilled to inherit from her mother. The last thing she wanted was to blend into society where she would go unnoticed. The human leaned forward, itching to look at herself in the mirror, but her room lacked such a convince. 'Bastard probably did it on purpose,' she thought bitterly. Anna pressed her head to her knees and sighed. "And now it's curling," she muttered sarcastically. "Great."
Annabelle regretfully lifted her head as rays of eye blinding artificial light drizzled into the cold room. Starscream gingerly emerged from behind the door. His optics, which were filled with irritation, scrutinized her changes as he approached. "You did what I said," he said in a slightly surprised voice. He knelt down, and reached for her chin. Anna turned her head away, but he used his fingers to jerk it back into his favorable view. "You even did your eyebrows," he mused. "The eyes match perfectly with the hair as well." She spat in his direction, barely missing his hand. "Do that again and you'll end up with your other arm broken." He placed his hand on the floor, and Anna regretfully walked into his grasp. The 'con placed her on his shoulder.
"So when do I get my food?" she complained.
"You will not address me in such a rude manner," the seeker criticized. "Especially in public."
Anna rolled her eyes and huffed. "When can I have my food, Lord Starscream?" she asked in bittersweet voice. The seeker pulled a can of heated Campbell's Vegetable Beef out of his cockpit, and dropped it at the human's feet. "It's hot," she said, flinching as her fingertips grazed the outside of the can. Starscream grabbed her blanket and tossed it at his shoulders. Anna lifted the can with the help of the blanket to help protect her from the heat. "Where are we going?" she asked as he walked out of the room.
"Just eat your food," he muttered grumpily. "Actually don't open it just yet."
"Why not?" she asked angrily.
"Because you'll burn yourself otherwise," Starscream answered.
"What are you ta – " The 'con snatched her from his shoulders, and placed her inside his cockpit. Anna felt her head hit the back of the seat. She whimpered as her chest was pressed awkwardly against the blunt object in the cockpit. The human propped herself into a more comfortable position, and held on tightly the controls. She bobbed up and down as the seeker ran through the hallways. The closed environment amplified the clicking from his working hydraulic system. "What are you so excited about?" she asked harshly as he sharply rounded a turn. She stared ahead and saw the unforgettable darkness of the night. Both a sense of joy and fear gripped her. Annabelle was more than happy to leave the confines the labyrinth, but the unknown of what he would do to her quickly overlapped her joy. "We're going outside? Why are we going outside?" she asked hastily.
"Just hold onto the seat before you injure yourself anymore," he growled. Anna cringed in horror as they crossed the barrier to the outside world. With wide eyes, she watched the ground beneath her become smaller as him leap into the air, and she instinctively grabbed the seat with all her power. The clicking and re-mending of metal and shifting body parts surrounded her. Never before had she been inside a transformer as they transform. Thoughts of being squished or mangled violently filled her mind. A powerful blast eclipsed the other sounds in a violet boom. Anna lurched back into the seat. She dug her fingernails into the seat for therapeutic reasons. "Relax, Annabelle," Starscream spoke as he flew casually. "We're just going for a quick flight."
She eased her grip on the seats, but refused to let go of it. Anna peered through the tinted windows at the colorless earth below them. Mist, in the form of loose snow, swirled and danced effortlessly across the ever-white landscape. She placed her pale face against the chilly glass to get a better look at her new surroundings. Gray mountains sprouted from the ground, and they disrupted the perfect tranquility of the flat land. Her hazel eyes meandered to the horizon where tiny shimmers of winter sunlight peaked over the horizon. Annabelle's head slowly traveled to the dark, crisp sky that loomed peacefully above the sunlight. Twinkling stars shimmered above with an unearthly beauty that she had never witnessed. "Where are we?" she asked softly, not wanting to disturb the beauty around her.
"Mount Waesche, Antarctica," Starscream answered bluntly. "You're a long way from home, Annabelle."
"No kidding," she spoke through her shock. She leaned against the seat, and pulled the blanket around her torso. Anna tore the lid off the Campbell's can. She took a small slurp, savoring the taste of warm food. "It's cold enough to be Antarctica." The cockpit's temperature began to climb to a comfortable seventy-eight degree Fahrenheit "Thanks," she muttered.
"You can speak out if you need something," the seeker informed.
"I thought I wasn't allowed to because of the whole slave thing," Anna retorted a little too harshly.
"I'm not trying to kill you," Starscream reminded through bitterness. "I'm trying to train you to be an efficient and domestic slave for my personal use."
"Oh yes," she said sarcastically. "Because that is really so much better."
"It is," he confirmed. "I could've given you to Scorponok as a snack, but I didn't. You should consider this an honor to be the personal slave to the future ruler of Cybertron. Many others would die for the chance just to see me . . . You may even get your own little footnote in history if you play your cards right, Annabelle. You can be immortalizing in our history."
"I don't need all that glory," Anna replied. "I don't want to be famous. I could careless about that kind of shit. I was just a functional family; which is a bit harder to find, Twenty-two." She took another sip of her soup. "Because for me this life is so short that I've got to make it less about shallow shit and more about the real people that matter."
"Why not have both?" he asked.
"Have you seen Hollywood?" she retorted. "They are famous and have the most effed-up lives in the world. I can't name one off the top of my head who is famous and has a down to earth life. It's like an unwritten law on this planet that you can't have both."
"On this world," the 'con emphasized. "On Cybertron you could have both."
"I don't think I'll be moving to Cybertron anytime soon," Anna said pessimistically.
"If you live long enough, you will see it," he promised.
"I don't know whether or not I like that idea of living that long," she admitted. "Just thinking about spending that much time with you is enough to make someone suicidal."
"Are you suicidal?" Starscream inquired scientifically. "Because I can have Skywarp retrieve you some anti-depressant medications if that is what is making you irritable."
"No," Anna stated defensively. "I don't have to worry about killing myself since I know you'll take care of that part."
"I told you it will never happen again," the seeker hissed. "And I brought you back, did I not? I took care of you! I even had Skywarp go out and fetch you your necessities! Do you know much my processor ached after dealing with his whiney-ass complaints?" Anna closed her eyes as he began to shout out his thoughts. His engines began to rumble unsteadily, and threatened to push them to mach two. "I did this all by staying in that room all night so that you wouldn't be alone! And now you insist on bringing up my one mistake instead of enjoying what I wanted you to see!" He swerved erratically to the left, heading back to the base. "I don't know why I even brought you out here. Now I'm going to miss it too," he growled to himself. "I hope you are proud of yourself now, fleshy."
"You brought me out here to see something?" she asked meekly. A small guilt and confusion began to bottle up in the pit of her throat.
"Yes," he answered fumingly.
"Don't get so riled up," she replied defensively. "I thought you were taking me somewhere bad. You seem to have a recent consistency for winding up in bad places." There was dead silence that filled the cockpit after her words. Anna placed the soup down on the floor, and wrapped herself even tighter in the blanket. "We can still see it," the human suggested softly. She didn't want to be yelled at anymore, especially since a tinge of guilt was nipping at her conscious. He didn't respond. Instead the air, metaphorically, became colder. "I mean, it's illogical to waste all this energy to come out here into the cold and not even see it. Please, Starscream?"
The seeker turned around, and a relief washed over Annabelle. "It would be illogical to come this far and miss such a rare occurrence." Starscream felt a boom shake his wings as he accelerated passed the sound barrier again. The below zero temperatures felt like a long lost drug, and oh much he had missed it! The bitter chill was invigorating to his deprived systems. He had had to suppress the urges to roll and dive with the wind. There was a physical pain (that he wouldn't speak of) from denying himself the pleasure of releasing his pent up energy during flight. 'Dumb human,' he thought. 'She just had to go get herself injured.'
"Where are we going?" Annabelle asked.
"We are where we need to be," Starscream stated. "I'm just looking for the perfect spot to watch it from." The mech swooped down closer to the earth to get a better view of the land. "I don't want you to miss any part of the spectacle."
"What is it that we're going to be seeing?" she questioned. "I want to know."
"You'll find out," he spoke teasingly. "Have some patience, Annabelle."
"You're telling me to have some patience?" she asked insultingly. "I'm not the one that demands to have everything here and now."
The seeker slid across the icy surface of the ground as he landed. The cool breeze drifting across his wings was a temptation that was hard to ignore. He would no doubt have to make time to release himself when the human was not around. "Just keep an eye on the sky," Starscream ordered firmly. "You should start seeing them any moment now with your eyes." He rolled slowly across the land, picking the perfect position to watch from. He turned off his engines as he stopped. "Look to the left, about at the nine o' clock mark. That's where they will start to come from."
"They?" Anna asked. "Who are – " She stopped talking as the first glittering marble-like rock flashed across the sky. It's green light faded to yellow at the tail. As it approached, the colors shifted from green and yellow to blue and green. Violet tips sparked from the center of the light as it entered the atmosphere. The reflection of other burning specks danced within the wet surface of Annabelle's eyes.
"Four thousand of them will cross this sky within an hour," the seeker said softly. "It's a rare spectacle that you won't be able to see again in your lifetime . . . That is, unless you come to Cybertron. Then you'll get to watch them on monthly basis."
"It's so pretty," she commented. "I've never seen them looking so pristine."
"Everything looks crisper here, Annabelle," he explained. "This is one of the few places on Earth where you can see the stars for all their beauty. And here you can watch it all day long because of the lack of sun." Starscream let out a loud, homesick sigh. Thinking about the idea of no sunlight, or any sun for that matter, instantly made his memory banks taunt him with images from a pre-war Cybertron. Starscream didn't resist the memory as he recalled the crisp images of Cybertron. He felt a tiny warmth comfort his spark at the old image of Cybertron's artificial light casting a glow over the world. Koan, as he recalled, was forever engulfed in the yellow glow; while cities, like Iacon, would only be flooded with light during political conventions. The seeker shook the memory from his mind as he concentrated on watching the meteor shower from earth. "If you were in better condition, I would have taken you to get a closer look," he added.
"That's okay," she replied indifferently. "I like watching them from down here. I like their colors. It's gives them an unearthly touch by being beyond my reach." She reached playfully for one of the falling clumps of dust. Anna's thoughts drifted to idea of falling to earth. Seeing what a falling star saw had to beautiful she thought. 'At least they'll never get to see the negative side to life on earth.' Anna sighed as her body began to tense. 'Life on earth is one bad, violent joke.' Soft, pacific music began to play as she lowered her arm onto her chest. The human felt her muscles relax, and a soft comfort crept over her being. She propped her legs onto his dashboard as if she had been doing this with him for years. A tiny voice in her head squeaked in protest against letting she be relaxed, but the music was tranquil and hypnotic. "I didn't know you liked classical music."
"You've had a few good composures here on Earth," he admitted. "It's a nice change since we don't have music on Cybertron."
"You don't have music?" she asked, sounding bewildered.
"None," the seeker clarified. "My race has never needed music. Most of your music on Earth is trash anyway, but you do have some humans who can create appealing patterns with various pitches. This particular piece is from a composure known as Wolf's Rain. It's called "Friends.""
"Well I think it should be renamed," Anna said. "Like Falling Stars or something."
"You're just saying that because you're watching burning specks of dusts," Starscream argued.
"So," she replied. "I still think it fits it." Anna let her thoughts slide away. She contently watched the falling stars, and listened to the gentle sound of the music as he played one soft song after another. No song was too loud, but rather seemed to dribble gently across the sky like the snowy meteor shower in front of her. In a strange sixth sense, Anna could feel the decepticon relax as well; Starscream didn't exactly lower his guard, but she was sure he did relax. He allowed his mind to drift to the stars, and in a rare moment, he pushed the nagging thoughts about his work to the back of his processor. The strange sensation of having an empty mind filled him pleasantly. He unusually let the feeling engulf his systems. It felt awkward to be so cushy when he had a human sitting inside his cockpit; yet, it felt strangely familiar.
She reclined her head against the back of the seat without a care. Her mind drifted between the realm of possibilities and reality as she watched the comets. In the midst of the limbo state, a hilarious thought crept into her mind causing her lips to curl into a coy smile. Anna could picture his hologram lying lazily over an F-22's wing. His feet would dangle off the wing's edge, and only moved because of the wind's persistent nature; even the thick sandy hair would sway like grass in the wind. He would placed his hands behind his head to be a makeshift pillow. Those vibrant amber eyes would stare mindlessly into the stars. His gaze, for once, would not stare into the future, but look at the now.
They sat, she didn't know how long, watching the meteor shower. The world has seemed to fade away, and within her bliss she had almost forgotten she sat inside a decepticon with two broken ribs and a sprained wrist. Together they watched as the meteor shower crept slowly in front of the gray moon. The atmosphere created between the celestial spectacle and music was hypnotic-like. The anxious, loathing feelings still twisted and squirmed deep within her stomach, but the seeker had thoroughly suppressed any fight that could lurk within her. The only movement inside the cockpit was a placement of her hand on the dashboard as she repositioned herself. The blanket fell to the floor, but she felt no need to retrieve it since the cockpit was still warm and secure. Security was the last emotion she should have felt inside his cockpit, but there it was, creeping through her muscles. The temptation of sleep crossed her mind, but the desire to stay awake seemed so much better. Annabelle felt her eyelids begin to betray her eyes. They slipped over her eyes.
The images of the bright lights lingered in her mind, and involuntarily she began to smile at the mental images. It was relaxing to sit in comforting aurora of the decepticon's cockpit; even if the seat was beginning to create pressure points along her tender back. Anna rolled her head against the seat and let out a contented sigh. She knew allowing herself be so loose in his presence was an illogical decision on her part, but she couldn't muster the strength to throw another tantrum, nor did she feel as if she could verbally combat in him in her half asleep state.
"Perhaps we should head back before you fall asleep," he spoke, more to himself than to her.
"I'm okay," Anna dismissed. "I'm just resting my eyes."
"Your vital signs say differently," Starscream, informed.
"We can watch it for a little bit longer," she insisted. "It's not like I'll ever have the chance of seeing this again."
"Your eyelids have to be open to watch it," the seeker said bluntly. Annabelle shot her eyes open, but the seeker's engines were purring for lift off. She felt defeated for a few seconds before exhaustion stole her attention. "The peak of it is over," Starscream added in a monotone. "I have business to attend to today, Annabelle. And work must always be done before personal time."
The human yawned, letting out colorful primitive sounds. "Then you'll get no personal time," she objected.
"I do what I must," Starscream countered. "In the words of Bumblebee's bond-mate, "No Sacrifice. No Victory."" She rolled her eyes at the obnoxious family motto. The seeker's engines roared to life as he gladly took off into the sky. A combination of vapor trails and powdery snow drifted over his wings as he carved his way through the approaching blizzard. "I also need you pristine condition for tonight."
"Where are we going tonight?" she asked, trying to remain neutral.
"You'll be debriefed at the meeting with everyone else," the seeker answered.
"If we're going into public view, then I need a few things," Anna said. "Like a flat iron, curling iron, and mirror. The last one is a priority that can't be ignored."
"You don't need a mirror," Starscream objected.
Anna ran her fingers through her hair, watching as the dark strands fell out of her hand. She felt ruffled that she had not been able to see what she looked liked, and his veto on he request let her mind begin to dangerously wander. 'What the hell do I look like?' she thought urgently. The human's self-consciously ran her nervous fingers through her hair. "Yes I do," she urged. She ruffled the back of her hair near the crown as she tried to poof it up. "I cannot live without a mirror! And I need to see what I look like." Annabelle took a cluster of her hair and shook it to prove her paint. "You can't expect me to live like this? Humans need to know what they look like!"
"You don't need a mirror," he reinforced firmly. Anna huffed as she pressed her back against the seat. She groaned at the painful forgetfulness of her injured back. "You – " The seeker searched for the right words to use. He didn't want to stroke her ego. "You look acceptable the way you are." The human rolled her eyes and shook her head disgustingly from side-to-side. "Trust me, it's an improvement," Starscream quarreled. "I would not deliberately reduce the efficiency of your appearance if helped."
"I don't think I trust your word on it since – " Anna closed her mouth immediately before the words could leak out.
"Since what?" he asked fretfully.
"Nothing," the human muttered spitefully. "Nothing at all, Lord Starscream. Everything is peachy as can be." Starscream breathed out a low growl. They lurched forward as the seeker began to vent his impending rage by accelerating. Anna reached for the cold can of Campbell's soup, and brought it to her mouth. The soup felt slimy as it traveled down her throat. She placed the can in between her legs because she couldn't muster the stomach to slurp something that felt slid slowly down her throat. Anna reached for the blanket. Anna wrapped the blanket around herself, warding off the chilly silence that filled the cockpit. Annabelle's eyes caught the last fleeting images of the meteor shower. 'It's warmer in space than here,' she thought sourly. 'A lot warmer.'
She gleefully slid off his hand, using it as a slide, and softly landed inside her fortress of blankets. Anna's limbs felt like heavy weights made out jell-o. She pressed her good side, if she could call it her good side, against the padded floor. The human closed her eyes at the touch of a thick, wool-filled blanket being placed over her body. The mech knelt as he dragged the dull side of his claw against her sensitive back. Underneath the blanket he could feel the electrical impulses of her muscles contract at the weight of his claw.
"Could you not?" Anna asked, sounding harsher than she had intended. She flickered her eyes open, and he was staring at her with the most peculiar face. Was it frustrations that cause his optics to glow brighter or the disgust that a fleshy would have the "guts" to ask something like that? "It hurts," she added falsely.
"Why must you fight me every step of the way?" the seeker asked rhetorically.
"Not used to someone that's going to kick your ass?" she taunted. Anna tightly closed her eyelids as he dragged his claw forcefully over her back. The violet images of seeing him shacking and squeezing her body brought back the fear of dying again. She longed for the security she had felt inside his cockpit. The insecurity that now sprung inside her mind felt as if it were trying to crawl through her skin. Tiny shoots of pain created an invisible path from where his claw had traveled. Anna's mind was put on pause as she whined.
"Just about everyone wants to kick my ass," he stated bluntly. "Autobots, Decepticons, neutrals, humans . . . The list could go on and on." He leaned over her, and brought his head uncomfortably close to her ear. The distinct smell of energon lingered on his breath. Anna began to breath through her mouth to avoid the smell. "I'm just tired of all the illogic that everyone else seems to lack," he spoke softly. "No one can comprehend what I am trying to do." The seeker paused. His optics began to drift away to Cybertron. "And I can't wait for them to catch up to my intelligence." Anna could hear the desperate tone lurking within his whispered words. "It'll be too late then."
"Have you ever thought maybe you yourself aren't suppose to save your race?" she inquired. The accusatory sound of her voice rung out in her words.
"If I don't," he retorted. "Then who will?"
"Someone will," Anna muttered jadedly. "Someone will have to because you'll end up killing yourself by putting all this responsibility on your spark."
"You'll be what kills me, Annabelle," Starscream corrected stonily.
Anna yearned to roll over and face him directly, but the mere thought of lying on her broken wrist and sprained wrist deterred her. Pain, as much as she hated it, was a good motivator and punisher. It was the only feeling that kept her from hitting him with her good fist. "Then why bring me along?" she asked maliciously. "After all you are so valuable to everyone. I would have thought you would preserve yourself at all costs."
"I did not plan on bringing you here," the 'con expressed frankly. "You are an unexpected, and rather expensive, addition, Annabelle."
"Then why did you throw me into your cockpit when your brothers rescued you?"
He was thankful the human could not see his optics. He was afraid that she would see the truth behind them – a truth that he himself did not want to admit. "I did it so that, in case my foolish comrades failed, I could say I protected you. Then, hopefully, the autobots might've felt in debt to me and repaired parts of my body," he proclaimed. The seeker looked away as the human opened her eyes. Anna strained her eyes to catch a glimpse of his optics. There she saw what she was looking for: shame, pity, confusion, frustration, and guilt. All the emotions pointed to one conclusion; he was lying, and doing a poor job at it.
Anna opened her mouth, but the seeker interrupted her by stating, "Don't say anything." She shut her mouth, but the determination to beat the truth out of him was there, clear as day; and he loathed her determination because it was as strong as his own. 'Bad trait,' he criticized. 'I'll have to remove it from your personality.'
Starscream rest his hand next to her back. The warmth the human produce was inviting compared to the coldness he had just flew through to return to the base. His free thumb defensively wrapped around her small waist. Starscream had to close his mind to uncluttered the many thoughts that rushed at his processor. Emotion after thought tried to direct him to the answer that lay before him, but pride dismissed what his internal analyzers indicated. 'Must be a glitch,' he thought.
He ventilated cool air into his system, but it did not clear his processors as he had hoped it would. "I . . ." he voiced died before he could finish his thoughts. "There are certain, unwritten laws that must be abided, Annabelle. To violate them would be to condemn one's spark to an eternal hell. And one of those – " He lost his words. The seeker nervously used the tip of his thumb claw to delicately stroke the human's vulnerable abdomen. She breathed slower, trying to fight the instincts to jerk away from the metal made predator. The action was not soothing to the human, but Starscream found a strange fondness to touching the human. Even more so, he loved being on control of her fear. The vulnerability she displayed was a wonderful and addictive change.
"One of them is you do not kill your fellow Cybertronian without good cause." Anna's eyes lit up like a light bulb, but not in a pleasant manner. If it were anything, it was an uncontrollable hate. "You are not human mentally, Annabelle. Your inconsistencies with your story prove that." Her lips began to pull into a deep scowl that border-lined baring teeth. "I believe you when you say you need both worlds, because you believe you do; but wanting to be human will never erase the feeling of being Cybertronian. One cannot simply make the jump from one race to another. It is something that we are taught. Unfortunately for you, you will never get your wish of being fully human."
"Shut up!" Anna growled belligerently.
"It's true," Starscream urged. "That's why you can relate to humans, but never feel human. It explains how you feel Cybertronian but not be able to relate to them. They've sheltered you, and excluded you from what you belonged too. That's why you yearn so foolishly to become human because you aren't sheltered from that world. You have been shunned from your true family. It explains why you grip so tightly onto your dam and sire. And as they begin to drift apart, you feel as if the world is turning on you – the little misfit who exceeds the natural boundaries between our species."
He carefully rolled her fragile body onto her back. The anger and resentment she felt throbbing in her heart rose onto her face. Other uncontrollably emotions, like insecurity, bubble into her eyes. "That's why you are the way you are." He watched her softly, feeling deep pity for the creature. She had been a caged bird, and a mere oversight for the enemy. He thought of it a shame that the autobots had not see the unremarkable potential she possessed. "It's also the same reason I put you into my cockpit. You are, in a sense, a new protoform - the first one since before the war. It's a crime that Prime did not see that in you."
"Now," he spoke delicately. Starscream ran his claw from her abdomen, along the inside of her legs, to her feet. Anna's toes squirmed and contracted at his touch. The word violation was repeated over and over inside her head. "Will you let me bring you into the world where you belong. I will show you everything you ever needed." He gingerly lifted her limp body into his hands, trying to show his restraint to her. "All those wants to be human will be replaced by actual, realistic dreams that you could achieve. I cannot do this if you will fight me, Annabelle."
Annabelle tried to compose herself. She didn't want him to have any satisfaction from his touches. "Do I have to swear an allegiance to the decepticons?" she asked.
"No," he spoke. "You do not have to join any faction, but you will need to pledge your allegiance to me. This way I can shelter you under my wings so-to-say and, perhaps, mold you into the one protoform that may understand why I do what I do." He laid her gently down. Starscream grabbed a pink blanket, and shoved it underneath her for support. Though grateful the care he was displaying, suspicion lurked beneath her skin, and Starscream could sense her distrust of his words. "Will you come home to where you belong, Annabelle?" She unsurely glanced away. "There's no need to rush to a decision. Take your time to decide."
"Can the terms be negotiated?" Annabelle asked frankly.
"You can try," the seeker answered. He took a claw and brushed it through her hair. He traced it gracefully along the edge of her mandible, and then lifted Annabelle's head to inspect her. A harmless smile crossed his face, and a pair of lazy optics watched her stiff face. "You look so much better a brunette, Annabelle. It gives you a fiercer look. It matches that cynical attitude of yours." He brought his hand to a resting position above his thighs. "Now go to sleep, Annabelle. Your body needs it so that it can repair the damage." He sat up straight, waiting for her to drift away to her dreams.
"Aren't you going to leave?" the human inquired.
"I made a promise to make sure you would never be lonely," he reminded in a child-like tone. "And I intend to keep that promise. You should be thankful because I'm the only one in this base who will not kill you purposely."
"That's a comforting thought," she spoke sarcastically.
"Have you ever heard of the saying "Never look a gift horse in the mouth?"" Starscream berated.
"I'm glad that I'm right to not trust," Anna said smugly. "I'm just sorry that you'll never see how wrong you are, Twenty-two." She pulled the blanket tighter of her body. The human wanted as many layers of blankets between herself and him as possible.
"Just go to sleep, Annabelle," he ordered effetely.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Skywarp shook the ice from his wings, cursing angrily at the frozen liquid. The ice and water fell to the floor, creating a dark pool of liquid. He rotated his arms to loosen the trapped ice, but gave up after the first three rotations. He aggravatingly began to stalk through the halls. The liquid on his armor glimmered in the light to his horror. 'Stupid light makes me look like a femme,' he growled to himself. 'And stupid Teecee jut had to decide on Antarctica. How does he expect any of us to enjoy flying here if it's too cold for birds to fly.' Hi wings bristled at his frustrated thoughts, and glazed against the hard wall. He jerked away, only to have his other wing scrap against the other wall. 'Primus dammit. I'm so sick of small hiding places!' He thought as he straightened himself.
The black seeker stood outside Starscream's quarters with a sour face. The last criticisms from Starscream and Thundercracker ran fresh in his mind. He grabbed the sides of the wall, trying to stall for time. Skywarp hesitantly poke his head into the room. His leader stood over the human, before flashing Skywarp with a predatory gaze. "You look pissed," he stated bluntly. The words came out faster than his processor could keep up with. "Did the tiny winy li'l squishums get on your nervy wervies?" Starscream growled, careful not to wake the human. He illogically stepped into the room. He folded his brooding arms across his wide chest. "I'm just asking," Skywarp said defensively.
"What do you want, 'Warp?" he asked. The unusually calm tone of his voice was a red flag, and the most deadly omen that Starscream already had a punishment ready for any horseplay. And without Thundercracker around . . .
"Teecee is awaiting orders concerning Skyfire," he explained quickly. Skywarp's optics averted his brother's heated gaze. The violet optics roamed around the room, casually inspecting the boring walls. His curiosity peeked as he saw the human's tired face relaxing peacefully. "What the hell did you do to it?" He took a step closer to get a better look, but Starscream took a defensive in front of the human. The black seeker stopped in his tracks, not wanting to test his brother.
"Teaching the human, her place," he answered bitterly. "I should've taken you with me as well." His impatience began to show as his hands curled into a fist. Skywarp stepped backwards as he tried to hide his aggression. "Now what does Thundercracker want?" Starscream asked hastily.
"He says you're to decide if Skyfire should be able to come back to the ranks," Skywarp explained. "He says he must rejoined the decepticon ranks in order to keep the autobot's trust." Starscream stared quizzically at his wing-mate. For a second Skywarp thought his brother's logic chip would implode. He shrugged, trying to diffuse the growing tension. "I dunno. I wasn't really paying attention. It just seemed like a bunch of bullshit to me." Starscream pressed his free hand to his forehead at his inferior's incompetence. "So am I relieved of duty?"
"Yes," Starscream breathed hatefully.
"So I can do anything I want?" he inquired hopefully. Skywarp stared childishly at his commander. A sleazy, up-to-no-good smile crossed his face.
"Yes," the seeker growl. He waved the seeker away. "Go do whatever your spark desires so long as you as you stay out of my way!" Starscream turned his back to his comrade as he tried to restrain his anger. He loathed how inferior Skywarp had become over the years. Had it not been for Thundercracker and his unique teleportation ability, Starscream would've melted him down for parts and fuel. 'Just like a human,' he compared. 'A troublesome human.'
The seeker eyed Starscream's human with an evil eye. "So, you do mean anything?" he asked more in depth.
"Yes!" Starscream shouted. He whipped around with a hand raised.
"Okies," Skywarp chirped quickly. He ducked as Starscream attempted to smack him across the head.
The ebony mech left the darkly colored room in a vibrant flash of violet light. The overhead lights flickered for a few seconds at the presence of the violet gas. Anna's eyes fluttered open as she regain consciousness. She used her right elbow to propped herself into a comfortable sitting position. "What the hell is with the yelling?" she asked, sounding grumpy.
"Nothing," Starscream informed. "Just taking care of business. Now go back to sleep." He gave the human a violet glare. All the unsaid words lurked behind his optics. Hate. Anger. Violence. Impatience. Annabelle pressed her good side against the blankets. She knew when not to test him, and this, her instincts decided, was a time to keep her sharp tongue shut. Anna closed her eyes, trying to escape back to the happy, blissful life she had been living before him . . . even if it would only be temporary.