For those that would like an explanation: I really didn't realize how long it's been since I've updated my Sweeney fic, I meant to update over winter vacation but I had found myself in a mini state of depression. Long story short my first semester of college didn't go as well as I planned and being compared to my elder sister didn't help. Working on a story that's already got a dark and depressed feeling about it didn't seem like the smartest idea. Anyway I managed to work through it with the help of some good friends (even though they didn't know it) so thanks ThePurpleness for one ^.~ the other one isn't on fanfic but I've already thanked her. I'm all better now and ready to face second semester with a brand new attitude.
Other Thank-Yous go out to: -my-forgotten-rose- , ViolentDelight17 (it wouldn't show your name with the periods in there) , linalove , DnCnChIcK369 , Midna Hytwilian , JDLuvaSQEE (love your name btw ^.^) , xBelekinax , ChemicalReaction9 , and for the reviews.
And thank you to those who put this story on alert and their favorites list but please leave a review as well, I'd like to know why you felt this story was worth keeping up with :)
Never think there is an easy way to make an end to such bitter memories…Never think there is a way to forgive the hate in the human heart…or an easy way to believe that the worst has occurred and is past. Only know that hope lives when people remember.
~ Simon Wiesenthal
Sweeney carefully led Linnet upstairs and pushed her into his chair to examine the damage he had so foolishly inflicted. All the while berating himself, he failed to notice Linnet's face contort in worry on his behalf.
"Sweeney it's nothing. It's barely a nick." She said soothingly as she watched him pace incessantly in search of a clean rag. She sighed and stood to retrieve the water basin, only to be pushed back down by Sweeney who then followed through with that process. He brought the basin to rest by her feet and stood to retrieve a clean shirt from his wardrobe upon realizing he still had nothing to clean nor wrap the wound with. Carefully tearing one of the sleeves into strips, he kneeled in front of her and began meticulously cleaning the blood from her neck and collarbone.
His eyes remained trained on her neck and he said nothing, his mind lost in some faraway place even Linnet could not see. She looked at him worriedly, true fear creeping its way into her heart for the first time with him around. Fear for his sanity, or what was left of it. She had loved Benjamin more than anything or anyone in her life, even her own brother as she still found it hard to forgive him for not taking her with him. As she looked at Sweeney she realized that the love she felt for him, though outweighed now by Antony, was incomparable to the love she held for Benjamin. She felt the need to save him. Perhaps that is what made her love him more.
He was a lost soul that needed guidance, that desperately needed someone to lean on, someone to love him. And Linnet was a person that needed someone to need her. She had always needed to know she was special, because she could never truly find self assurance. She had always needed someone else to tell her they would be lost without her, someone else to tell her she held a deeper meaning to them, a strong connection. She had always needed someone else to give her worth. And Sweeney was doing exactly that. She knew he needed her and thus she needed him. With this knowledge in mind, her fear was birthed: what if she couldn't save him?
Sweeney continued dabbing at the cut which was still trickling. Though it was not deep by any means, it was too close to her pulse point for his comfort. He couldn't believe his own stupidity. He had inflicted this upon his angel. The one who offered him his shelter from the cold and cruel, dark world. His mind was a whirlwind of thoughts. He could have killed her! Had he not stopped when he did he would have sliced through her delicate skin with a meat cleaver. That thought kept him on his guard. He had to be careful. If he lost himself in this mad frenzy of hatred and revenge, he could hurt Linnet, Netty, his Nets. But who was he? What 'self' was he trying to keep? How was he to get rid of Benjamin and keep Netty both? Could he? Perhaps he was already lost.
He gently tied a strip of fabric across her neck, being careful not to pull too tight, and stood moving to the far window. He still had not spoken a word and Linnet grew more nervous. She stood carefully and lit a few candles around the room to dispel the darkness as well as the cold. As the hiss and crackle of the lighting match reached her ears, so did a soft, dejected sigh accompanied with the words "I'm lost." So low, she'd almost missed it. But she knew he had said it.
She held back the tears those two words brought to her eyes and finished lighting the remaining candles. Upon lighting the final wick, she pulled the candle from its holder and held it carefully in front of her. Cupping a hand behind the flame as she walked towards the window, she sang to him softly.
"I'll be your candle on the water,
My love for you will always burn.
I know you're lost and drifting,
But the clouds are lifting.
Don't give up, you have somewhere to turn."
Sweeney raised his head from the cold glass and looked at her before registering the candle she held in front of her, illuminating his corner and chasing away the chill. Or perhaps that was her, and the words she sang to him with conviction.
"I'll be your candle on the water,
'Till ev'ry wave is warm and bright.
My soul is there beside you,
Let this candle guide you.
Soon you'll see a golden stream of light."
He glanced down at the candle between them, and a ghost of a smile skittered across his face, his eyes softened as he watched the dancing flame flicker. He didn't know how she always did it, but she had done it once again. He began to feel.
"A cold and friendless tide has found you,
Don't let the stormy darkness pull you down.
I'll paint a ray of hope around you,
Circling in the air,
Lighted by a prayer."
Linnet took his right hand and pressed the candle into his open palm. As he held the candle and watched the flame, he felt her arms slip around his torso and mindlessly wrapped his left arm around her.
"I'll be your candle on the water,
This flame inside of me will grow.
Keep holding on, you'll make it,
Here's my hand so take it.
Look for me, reaching out to show,
As sure as rivers flow,
I'll never let you go.
I'll never let you go.
I'll never let you go."
"Why do you do this Nets? Why do you keep trying to bring him back?" Sweeney asked desperately.
"For the same reason you pursue your revenge on Judge Turpin. For the same reason you feel you must avenge Lucy." She answered, squeezing him tightly.
Sweeney paused, his gaze moved from the flickering flame to the portraits propped open by the mirror. A memory long forgotten began creeping its way into his mind, Lucy sitting in a rocking chair dreaming of the day she would cradle her baby, Linnet sitting cross-legged on the bed looking down at the open book in her lap, and Benjamin standing by the dresser, leaning against it listening to her read from the trio's favorite book of poetry.
"And neither the angels in Heaven above, nor the demons down under the sea, can ever dissever my soul from the soul of the beautiful Annabel Lee. For the moon never beams without bringing me dreams of the beautiful Annabel Lee; and the stars never rise but I see the bright eyes of the beautiful Annabel Lee." Said Sweeney as he began to understand.
"He will always be there Sweeney. You need to embrace him. He is a part of you and I love you both."
"What if Judge Turpin should come around again? What then?"
Linnet moved out of his embrace just enough to look him in the eyes, "I did not say you had to become Benjamin. I know you're not him. I know it's not possible to make you him."
"Prove it." He growled, "Prove you do not believe I'm Benjamin."
She narrowed her eyes at him and took the candle from his hand. Blowing out the flame, she proceeded to pull Sweeney back to the barber chair. She forcefully pushed him down onto the chair and moved to blow the rest of the candles out. Should this fail miserably, she did not need him to see her face. Slowly, she made her way back to the chair and wrapped her arms around his neck as she sat at his hip and pushed her lips against his.
Sweeney froze, unable to process what was happening; his arms remained clutching the arms of the chair while his lips were assaulted by hers in a fiercely suppressed kiss. Slowly, he began to kiss her back and in her shock she pulled back.
"I would have never thought to kiss Benjamin." She told him, "He belonged to Lucy as Lucy belonged to him and I would do nothing to tear that apart."
That night, Linnet and Sweeney soundly slept wrapped in each others' arms. They kept each other warm and unconsciously fought away the others' nightmares. Meanwhile Nellie Lovett lay in her own bed, glaring at the ceiling unable to sleep knowing that Sweeney had not come back after walking Miss Reynolds home. Something would have to be done.
A/N: Yes they slept, they did not "sleep" together. Just thought I'd clear that up ^.^ It may come in the future though, still undecided. The song Linnet sings is Candle on the Water from Disney's Pete's Dragon but personally I like how Anneliese Van Der Pol (or however you spell her name) sings it and the poem excerpt is from Edgar Allen Poe's Annabel Lee (bet you didn't figure THAT out hehe)
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