The table Charlie was strapped to was brought to an enormous machine with all sorts of wheels built into it. Cooper emerged from the desk he was sitting in as Mr. Friendly pushed Charlie next to the machine and placed suction cups on his chest, waist, and ears.
"Beautiful, isn't it?" Cooper asked. "Took me half-a-lifetime and over fifty cons to build it."

It was then Charlie remembered that this man was a con artist as he continued walking over to a dial that ranged from "0" to "50".

"You can see my deep and abiding interest in pain. I am currently writing the authoritative work on the subject, so I want you to tell me honestly how the machine makes you feel. Now, since this is our first try, I'll set it on the lowest."

He then moved the dial from 0 to 1. All at once, water came in through a chute above, turning the wheels, and Charlie felt something being pulled out of him. It hurt so bad he struggled hard to break free while groaning loudly.

Feeling satisfied, Cooper moved the dial back to 0. The machine stopped and Charlie collapsed on the table, breathing hard from all that pain he went through.

"The concept of the suction pump is centuries old," Cooper explained. "This is all this is actually, but instead of sucking water, I'm sucking life. I just sucked one year of your life away. Now, I might go as high as five, but I don't know what that would do to you, so let's just settle with what we have. What did this do to you? And don't forget, this is going to be public, so be honest-how do you feel?

All Charlie could do was sob and whimper. Cooper smiled as he took notes.

Locke pulled Ethan over to speak with him.

"I've reports about killers from DHARMA hiding in the Thieves' Forest planning to murder my bride on our wedding night."

"Any word from Charlie yet?" Claire's voice suddenly came. Both Locke and Ethan looked in her direction.

Locke smiled. "Too early, angel. Patience."

Claire looked stern. "He WILL come."

"Of course he will."

Claire turned on her heel and walked off. Once she was out of earshot, Locke continued with Ethan.

"She will NOT be murdered. On our wedding night, I want the Thieves' Forest emptied and every man arrested."

"Many of the thieves will resist," Ethan replied. "My regular enforcers will not be sufficient."

"Then form a brute squad! I want the forest emptied before I wed."

Ethan sighed. "It won't be easy."

Locke grinned. "Neither is ruling the world."

The day of the wedding arrived, and the brute squad had their hands full carrying out Locke's orders. As a wagon dragged the prisoners away, Ethan turned to a brute named Goodwin.

"Is that all of them?"

"Almost. There's a Southerner giving us some trouble."

Ethan glared. "Then give HIM some trouble."

Goodwin nodded and went off.

"BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN!" Sawyer shouted at the top of his lungs as he sat in front of his cabin, hold a jug of beer. "Where are you?! You told me to go back to the beginning! Well here I am! I aint movin' until you get here!"

Goodwin came from behind the cabin and held an axe. "Ho there!"

Sawyer just glared at him. "I aint budgin, so keep your 'ho's to yourself."

"But the prince gave orders!"

Sawyer glared at him threateningly as he held his sword up. "Well so did Ben! When a job goes wrong you go back to the beginning. Well this is where I got the job, so this is the beginning. So I aint goin' nowhere until Ben gets here."

Goodwin started to get annoyed as he looked past Sawyer. "You, brute! Over here!"

"I'M WAITIN FOR BEN!" Sawyer shouted as a large black hand grabbed him.

"A battle you can't win," a deep voice came.

Sawyer blinked. Not only was the voice familiar, but the way it rhymed with what he just said. He looked up and laughed happily to see Eko smiling back at him and knocking Goodwin out with his staff.

He looked back at Sawyer and grimaced. "You do not look so good." He then sniffed him. "Nor do you smell so good."

"Maybe not," Sawyer muttered drunk. "I'm fine."

Eko smiled at his friend as he let go. Sawyer then fell face-first to the ground.

Eko and Sawyer were reunited. As Eko nursed his intoxicated friend back to health, he told Sawyer of Ben's death and the existence of Count Cooper, the con man who also went by the name of Sawyer. Considering Sawyer's lifelong search, he handled the news surprisingly well.

By dunking his head in icy water, then steaming water, Eko took great care in reviving Sawyer.

"Alright! Alright! That's ENOUGH!" Sawyer shouted as he pulled away. "Now tell me where I can find this Count Cooper, and I'll kill him."

"With the prince in the castle. But thirty men guard the gate."

"Damn it!" Sawyer cursed as he kicked a nearby stool. "How many can you handle?"

"No more than ten."

"Leaving me twenty. No way in hell I can handle that many. Damn.! I can scheme a con but I can't strategize an infiltration. We need Ben!"

"Ben is dead," Eko reminded him.

Sawyer cursed himself as he shook his head in disappointment. But then his eyes blinked as he suddenly saw his last hope.

"Not Ben. Then man in black."

Eko looked confused. "What?"

"Work with me here. He beat you at strength, your area of expertise. And he beat me at mine, fencing. And he seems a fair player so he must've outwitted Ben. And a man who can do that can plan an assault on the castle any day."

And with that, he headed for the door. "C'mon!"

"Where are we going?" Eko asked.

"To find the man in black obviously."

"But we don't know where he is."

Sawyer looked back at him. "Don't bother me with trifles. After twenty years, my parents' souls will be at peace."

He was then seething. "There will be blood TONIGHT!"

A/N: Just keep reviewing for more.

Imzadi, I don't know how to put Richard Alpert in the story. The only characters from Princess Bride we haven't seen thus far are Miracle Max, Valerie, and the Clergyman, and I've already decided who they will be