The girls pushed us out of the bus as soon as the door opened.
"Don't start fighting again." they warned. "You just got your arm out of that cast, Pinky. We don't need you in another one already."
"It was the Bitch's fault." Sakura muttered, glaring at me. "She pushed me off the roof."
"Did not!" I gasped. "You fuckin' tripped over you own feet! I was on the other side of the roof!"
"She right, you know." Hinata said sleepily. She never could hold her liquor well. "We have you falling off the roof of your own accord on tape."
Suddenly, Ino began to bounce.
"What are you planning, Babydoll?" Karin asked warily.
"I wanna sing Miss Bipolar!" she exclaimed, clapping.
"Ino, you hate Blood On The Dance Floor." I pointed out, examining my nails. "And remind me to get Anko to redo my nails. Most of the nail polish has chipped off."
"I know I do, but regardless, I love that song," she squealed, still clapping. "It's, like, our song."
"Who's song, exactly?" I asked.
"Mine and yours!"
"You don know that it's just a insulting love song?"
"But you are my secret lover, so who cares!"
"If it were a secret before," I mumbled, wanting to slaughter Ino for being such a blonde. "It's not anymore."
"Are you ashamed of me and our love?" Ino gasped.
"First of all," I said, flicking her in the forehead as she tried to hug me. "I thought Tenten was your secret lesbian lover? Second: my secret lover was Karin. You were never a part of it seeing as I'm not into threesomes like Karin. And thirdly: Yes."
"Guys," Tenten whined. "You totally just scarred the boys. And I am nobodies lover!"
"Fuck you!" Kiba growled suddenly. I spun around in time to see him tackle Sasuke to the ground.
"What the fuck happened?" I asked, slightly worried for Kiba.
"Sasuke said something about us" Temari replied, obviously looking for a way to break up th fight. "Kiba wasn't impressed, so he decided Sasuke needed to die."
"I have an idea." I muttered.
"Hey look!" I called, pointed behind me. "Free porn!"
Kiba jumped up and ran towards the area I pointed at. I snickered as Suigetsu followed.
"You know them so well." Naruto said, ruffling my hair. I glowered at him.
"Do that again and I'll bite your fucking hand off." I snarled. He snatched his hand away.
"You were nicer before you got pregnant." he mumbled.
"You didn't know her before she was pregnant." Sasuke snapped, rubbing his neck.
"He did, too!" I argued. "I met him the same way I met Gaara. Through those Goddamned family-things that Temari insists on dragging me to every fucking year.
"I do not drag you." Temari said, glaring. "I tie you up, and stuff you in the trunk of my car."
"Ladybug," I moaned, rubbing my forehead. "Nobody here wants to hear about your love of bondage. Or that secret stash of porn hidden under your bed."
"There is no porn stash, Bitch!" she snapped, lunging at me. I giggled and danced out of the way.
"That's what you said about the My Little Ponies in ninth grade." Tenten pointed out. "And guess what we found in you closet? A body bag full of My Little Ponies."
"Do you want me to bring up those books that you keep under your bed?" Temari retorted than faked a gasp. "Oppise! Just did!"
"Those aren't just her's." I stated, sucking on my lip ring. "Some of those are mine. Their actually really interesting once you get past the smut." They all looked at me. "What? It's not like their Daddy's Icha Icha books."
"Could we stop this and go inside?" Naruto begged. "Anko promised me ramen."
"And I want my body bag back!" I exclaimed, pointing at Temari. "You took it from me. And I need it so I can finally finish off Sai."
"You already put him in a wheelchair, what more do you need to do?" Sakura asked.
"Kill him." I said coldly. "Not that I have anything against gay peeps, I mean, Deidara and Sasori are totally awesome, but nobody sleeps around on one of my friends. At least, nobody who want's to live."
"What about when Deidara was going out with Tenten?" Ino asked. "He slept with Sasori and you actually congratulated them."
"That's because what transpired between them was all planned out. Sasori was to blind to see that him and our little DeiDei were perfect together. And, in case you haven't noticed, our plan worked perfectly."
"You're an evil little witch." Karin stated, smirking. "I like it."
"We know you do." I patted her on the back, then linked arms with Naruto . "Now, follow me, Minions. For I know that there is food and booze waiting for me inside."
"You mean tomatoes and booze." Sakura shook her head and looked back at the boys. "I swear, if not for the fact that if you put a steak in front for her, she devours it, I'd say she was a vegetarian."
"Tomato-a-tarian" I corrected, craning my neck to look back at her. "I think veggie's are icky."
"You also think the moon is made of cheese." Temari rolled her eyes.
"Un-huh. And Mars is made of Jello." I said happily. "So if you'll excuse us, we're going in for food."
"Don't leave us!" Ino yelled, tackling me. "I don't want to be alone!"
"What are we?" Shikamaru asked.
"You are the asshole that I was forced to spend the first thirteen years of my life with." she snapped in reply. "The girls are my family, and the others... bah. Who cares."
"Hey! I care!" I protested. "Well, about Naruto, anyways. And perhaps Kiba. He has earned my respect by trying to kill Sasuke."
"Welcome to the family, then, Kibble." Temari stated, putting her arm around Kiba. "I hope you know how to fight."
"Huh?" he asked. Due to the fact the he had been looking for (imaginary) free porn, he had missed what I said about him.
"You have earned the respect of out little Yumi." she said, looking up at him. "Meaning you are now family. Also meaning that for the next month, anything that goes wrong will be blamed on you."
"Temari, where did you get that rule?" I asked with a roll of my eyes. "We already know that all things that go wrong are because of Kakashi. It's, like, Anko's golden rule."
"Dammit. I forgot about that." Temari frowned.
"Suck to be you." Tenten said coldly. I looked back at her, eyebrow raised. I wanted to know what had crawled up her ass and died.
I soon found my answer. Tenten strongly believed in doing everything by herself. For instance, last year she broke both legs, but she refused to use a wheelchair, choosing to crawl everywhere instead. And I knew that Neji knew this. He and Tenten grew up together.
Which is why I couldn't understand why Neji had Tenten thrown over his shoulder like a rag doll. She was only going to slaughter him when he put her down.
Unless...
"Ohmygod!" I squealed. "Neji has a crush on Tenten!" I did a little happy dance and the others backed up, afraid. "And I thought you would be lonely forever! My prayers have been answered!"
"Yumi, what the fuck are you going on about?" Temari asked.
"Neji. Likes. Our. Little. Ten-chan! And they will get married and have little white-eye Hyuuga babies! Which will be kinda creepy, but in a cute way. Like Hinata!"
"You, my dear, need to sleep." Karin said, placing her hand on my back and leading me inside. "Come on inside." I let her lead me inside but...
"MY MILKSHAKE BRINGS ALL THE BOYS TO YARD!" I sang. "AND THEY SAY, IT'S BETTER THAN YOURS. DAMN RIGHT, IT'S BETTER THAN YOURS! I COULD TEACH YOU, BUT I HAVE TO CHARGE!"
That thing earlier, when I mentioned how I couldn't stay drunk-do you remember that? Well I should have elaborated. I get sober really quick, but it comes back to get me later. I became a crazy-ass chick, because of my previous alcohol consumption.
"NAOW! I WANT COOKIES! NAOW!" I cried, running to the kitchen. Gaara was sitting at the counter, drinking what looked like coffee. I tackled him the second he set his cup down. "YOU! WHAT DID YOU DO WITH MY COOKIES?"
"Yumi, love," he said grabbing my shoulders in an attempt to keep me from killing him. "You threw out all the cookies, remember? You thought they smelled revolting.
"I WANT MY COOKIES NAOW!" I screamed, clawing at his face.
"Would somebody please go get the damn jacket?" he snapped, glaring back at the girls.
You see, my mind was in no-way affected by this. I was thinking straight, but I had not control over my words and actions. It felt wrong, like living in someone else's body.
"She burned it, remember?" Temari snapped. "That's what the chains are for!"
"We can't chain up a pregnant woman!" Sakura screamed. She was running around the room like a chicken with it's head cut off.
"Just get the fucking chains!" Gaara growled, finally managing to push me off and pin me to the floor. "Before she fucking kills us all!"
"I have a better idea!" Karin said calmly. She walked slowly over to me and I could hear myself hissing and growling like a wild animal. "Yumi, sweetie, look at me." I felt myself turn my head away like a stubborn child. "Look at me." she grabbed my chin and forced me to look at her. "Yumiko Uchiha, I swear that if you don't snap out of it, I will make sure that Anko never makes another cake, or pie, or tart, or anything else, ever again."
Inside, I was freaking out. To never have one of Anko's delicious deserts again would be like never breathing again.
But the me in control (for simplicity's sake I'm officially naming her Steve) snapped.
She threw Gaara across the room and grabbed Karin by the throat. Sanding up, Karin was lifted off the ground.
Stop it! I screamed at myself. She doesn't deserve this!
But, of course, Steve didn't listen. Instead, she threw Karin across the room. My sudden bloodlust disappeared the moment I hear the sickening snap as Karin hit the cupboards. I felt myself regain control.
"No." I mumbled. "Oh God, no." I backed away and avoided being grabbed by my friends. "No. No no no no no. Not again. Please." I turned and bolted out the door.
I'd done it again. I'd hurt someone I love because I was stupid. I was running again. But I had no intention of returning this time.