Disclaimer: The wonderful and talented Stephenie Meyer created these characters, made them into vampires, shape shifters and quirky teenagers. I changed them up, aged them, made them all human and I like it when they get citrusy. The names of the characters are hers, but the story line, and location it takes place is all me.
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I need to apologize to you all for the lateness of this chapter posting. Real life is currently KICKING MY A**, and my own writers block is preventing me from having an outlet to vent.
Please be sure to check out the A/N at the end…Thanks.
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Chapter 12: The BDSM Embargo
BPOV
I walk down the hall and I see his door is not closed. I am holding his platinum heavy link collar, the one I had made just for him. I look in and see that he is lying in his bed, his back is to me. I am not sure, if he is awake or if he is sleeping. I quietly enter the room, and walk to the bed.
I sit down on the edge of his bed, close to his side. I know he is sleeping, I can hear the deep even breaths he is taking. His body is so lovely and he is completely naked, the sheet and comforter are barely covering his lower body. He rolls toward me, almost as if it is instinctual.
I sit his collar on the bedside table. I turn enough to lightly run my fingers through his hair and down his neck. As I move my hands down his chest, I lightly drag my nail across his stomach. He is still asleep, but I can tell he is starting to stir a little. I can clearly see that one part, specifically, is starting to wake. I stand and pull the blankets off of him, and remove my robe.
Taking a hold of his hard cock, I give him a few pumps before I straddle his waist. Leaning up enough to rub the tip across my clit, I am already wet for him as I move the tip to my entrance and sink down on him. Feeling his cock stretch me, I look at him and see he is now awake. With a mixture between sleep and seduction on his face, I start to ride him rather fast. He grabs my hips, and pushes into me. Moving quickly, he flips us over and starts thrusting into me harder and faster.
Just as I am about to scream out in ecstasy, he stops moving. He stays buried deep inside me, pushing my hips into the bed. He takes a hold of my hands and holds them together in his right hand; moving them above my head, he holds me down. With his left arm hooked around my right thigh, I am unable to move much at all. I can feel the weight of his body as he securely holds me to the bed. He looks in my eyes, and the seductiveness and sleep, are no longer present.
"You are mine, like it or not. Do you understand me?" He growls out at me. In case I could have missed the domination in his voice, it is clearly apparent in his eyes.
"Red," I say back to him. "Red, red, red. Get off of me, Red!"
"No, Isabella, KNICK KNACK!" He snarls loudly.
I jump up, crying, panting, and shaking my head. I was rubbing my eyes, fighting to see through my tears. It takes me a minute to realize I am in my own bed. It was all a dream, a confusing dream. I can't believe I finally fall asleep, to have an erotic nightmare. I never fall asleep peacefully the rest of the night. I feel as if I can give new meaning to the words 'toss and turn'. Giving up on trying to get to sleep again, I get up. I make my way into the bathroom without even turning on the lights. I start the shower with straight hot water, needing the burn, needing to feel something.
Looking in the mirror, I am shocked. I can see clearly that I will have no choice, but to wear make up today. My skin is naturally pale, but today, under my eyes is the issue. I have dark circles surrounding each eye. A lovely shade, black and purple mixed with my pale complexion, I look like a vampire.
I fought against my self all night, struggling with my own demons. I just feel as if I should have collared him last night, and talked to him. I cannot believe I did something so stupid. I need to fix this, and make this right. I have often told clients that you cannot fix stupid.
So, how am I going to fix this? I need to fix this!
Knowing I have to go out for a bit today, I put on my comfortable jeans, and throw on a sweater. It is really cold outside. I can see the ground outside is frosted over. After getting dressed and looking in the mirror, I see that I look a little better.
Of course, I could give Medusa a run for her money today!
Taking note of the clock, I see that Edward will not be down for breakfast for an hour and fifteen minutes yet. I sigh and head down to the kitchen. I guess I will make my egg bake, since I have the time.
Entering the kitchen, I am surprised to find that Edward's journal is sitting on the table. Wondering if he is up, I walk down the hall and notice the lights are on in the gym. I assume he is in there working on his morning exercise regimen, so I head back to the kitchen.
I look at the table again and decide to get breakfast prepped and started before I read the journal. I chop the fresh veggies and shred the cheese, get out the eggs and milk, and start whipping together the egg bake. After it is all mixed together, and put into the casserole dish, I pop it in the oven.
Grabbing a cup of freshly brewed coffee, I sit down at the table and pick up the journal. Opening the journal, I see that the last entry was written last night. A part of me is afraid to read what he has written, and a part of me is starving to know. Taking a few deep breaths to calm my nerves, I take a gulp of the hot coffee, and start to read.
Mistress? ~
This submissive knows that he drastically messed up in the middle of our scene last night. He expects nothing more than to be swiftly punished for his lack of a verbal filter and common sense. He is sorry that he pushed you; it is not his intention to upset you.
You have made yourself and your feelings crystal clear, he only can hope for more in the future. He cannot take back words that he said, nor can he take back the way that he feels.
This submissive wants to be YOUR submissive, in every way that it is possible to be. This submissive wants more, and is willing to wait for his Mistress to want that as well. This submissive is sorry for letting you down, but this submissive can not be sorry for loving you.
This submissive has never felt quite like this, and is certainly scared. This submissive is not scared of loving you, just of what loving you brings to the table with our current relationship.
This submissive knows that love relationships in the BDSM lifestyle are not a common commodity. This submissive also knows the dynamics of BDSM and a loving relationship can easily coincide, if both parties want it. The one thing that this submissive knows is true right now, is that he will willingly wait forever to have it all with you.
Your? submissive~
I have fucked up way more than I think; I know I have fucked up badly. I am a failure right now; I have really dropped the ball this time. This makes me a bad Domme, and on top of that, I feel like a horrible person. I sit here thinking about the things that I need to do to make this right. I walk over, pick up the phone, and call the only people I know who can help me.
After making some plans for a lunch meeting, I glance at the clock. Edward will be in here for breakfast in ten minutes. I pull out the egg bake casserole, and place the shredded cheese over the top. Warm the croissants, and set the table. I notice movement at the doorway, there is Edward kneeling and waiting.
No matter what, I have never been with a more natural submissive. Edward is a perfect submissive, his natural demeanor screams submission. Edward is a total package for someone like me, naturally submissive and completely gorgeous.
Looks are not everything, but there is nothing about him that falls on the unattractive side of the fence. I can feel the dampness between my thighs; I have to quash these thoughts and move on to settling things.
I must fix things before we have sex again, collared or not.
"Good morning, Edward, please get up and join me at the kitchen table. Breakfast is ready," I say with a smile.
I watch as Edward moves to the table, and sits in his chair. His eyes remain lowered, and his head slightly bowed. Hands folded in his lap, not making a sound. I take a deep breath, to help calm my nerves.
"Edward, please look at me," I say.
He lifts his eyes and meets mine; I feel the anguish all over again. I can tell that he has not slept well, if at all. The look in his eyes reminds me of a little boy who saw someone kick his puppy. My heart aches again. I fight the urge to move across the table and hug him. The physical side of him and I, is always hot. I need to talk to him though, not fuck him silly.
No matter how much I really want to fuck him, right now.
"Edward, we need to talk, but I do not want you to have to eat a cold breakfast. I am not upset with you at all, and I think it best that we talk openly. Is that okay with you?" I ask him, with a smile on my face.
"Yes, Mist…Ma'a…," he stops.
"Edward, first and foremost, I want you. I want you on many levels. I want to be yours, but I have to learn to deal with this thought. I want it all, that means a relationship, but I also want to be your Mistress, and Domme. Right now, you should consider yourself as my un-collared submissive. I expect you to speak openly and freely, as long as it is with respect. You may call me Ma'am," I tell him.
"Yes, Ma'am, your submissive understands. Thank you, Ma'am," he says.
"Now, let's eat, and we can talk during and after our breakfast." I start to dish up the food. "I know there is a lot to cover today, and I have to be at the police station at nine. We are having lunch with Peter and Charlotte at one. We will discuss everything throughout the day. Do you have any questions?" I ask.
"No, Ma'am, well yes, Ma'am," he says.
"No, or yes, Edward? Either way you are free to talk and ask respectfully, please continue."
"Ma'am, I am sorry I was shocked. Why do you have to be at the police station at nine?"
"Well, last night, no actually to tell the story correctly, since returning from Chicago, I have been being stalked by Mike." I can see the instant rage in his eyes, he no longer looks tired and sad, he looks lethal.
"Edward, I can see that hearing about this has upset you. I assure you that I am in no danger. I have undercover bodyguards following me throughout my day in the office and court. I also have my personal attorney getting things handled. Last night, I was sure Mike was following me, when I drove home," I tell him.
"What happened?" Edward asks almost frantically.
"I called the police, and they pulled him over. It was him, and he was taken into custody pending an investigation. Since my attorney had already filed an incident report earlier in the day, this only gave more proof that we needed. I have to go down and sign the complaint for him harassing me, and stalking me. Laurent Baxter already gave the detectives copies of my phone records, as well as a complete log of all the deliveries."
"How many deliveries, and what do you mean phone records?"
"Well, he has called my office number and home number several times each and everyday. There have been no less than at least twice a day deliveries at the office and home, of flowers and other things. Last Tuesday, he even ordered me supper, his favorite kind of pizza."
"What? What happened? Did he get through?" Edward shouts out, interrupting me.
"Edward, calm down and I will tell you what happened. Mike tried to get Felix to let him through the gate to deliver the pizza. To bad for Mike, that Felix knew I had already gotten Starlight burgers for supper. You know they are Felix's favorites, so I had brought him one. Felix knew it was not on the up and up, so he asked for the manager's name to confirm the order with the pizza place. Mike took off, but Felix got it all on tape and called the police."
"Thank goodness, he is clearly not right in the head. Was he always this dysfunctional?"
"No…I don't know…maybe. It is hard to say, I think I was stuck in a fantasy with Mike, and did not ever see the clear side of him. Since we have to go soon, let's finish eating our breakfast."
"Yes, Ma'am," Edward replies.
It is silent for a few minutes while we both pick at our breakfast. Edward seems to be deep in thought, but I can see less of the apprehension he was showing earlier.
"Why are we meeting with Peter and Charlotte?" Edward asks.
"Well, the main reason we are meeting with them today, is because I fucked up. I have been a horrible Domme to you," I tell him.
"Ma'am, this submissive thinks that you are a wonderful Mistress to him. You have every reason to be disappointed in this submissive, he has let you down. Your submissive is ready to be punished for his disobedience," he says, as he drops out of his chair and to the floor kneeling at my feet.
"Edward, please get up off of the floor; get back in your chair. Eat your breakfast; we are going to discuss this without you being collared. I will not be punishing you, and there is no reason for you to think you're being disobedient. You, also, should not feel as if you were disobedient, I should have talked to you last night."
I watch as he gets up off the floor and sits back into his chair. I sigh, knowing he is still mentally beating himself up.
"Edward, please look at me for a minute," I say as his eyes rise to meet mine. "You are an amazing man. You are the best submissive, I have ever collared. Your submission to me makes me feel more complete than I have ever felt before."
I take a deep breath and a small sip of my coffee, and then smile at him.
"You have to understand that the problem is not you, it is not about you. I know it sounds cliché, but the problem is with me. We are going to see Peter and Charlotte today, because they have offered to help me…to help us. Even the strongest people need help and guidance once in a while," I tell him.
Edward sighs, nods his head, and starts picking at his food again.
"Edward," I say and he raises his eyes to again meet mine. "Please, promise me that you will not assume anything, to work this out we will have to work together."
"Your submissive promises," he says and then smiles.
After a few minutes, I notice that Edward is not really eating.
"Edward, what else is on your mind?" I ask.
"A couple of things, Ma'am," he replies.
"Well, you will have to tell me what you're thinking, I can not read your mind," I say with a smile.
"Ma'am, why did you remove my collar, and not tell me I was still collared, or re-collar me after my bath last night?"
"I should have re-collared you last night, it was my mistake, and I am sorry. I should not have ever left you hanging in limbo, I regret that poor choice, and I will do my best to make that up to you. I have not collared you this morning, and I will not collar you today until after we have talked. I feel it is best to not have you restricted by your collar, when we have such detrimental things to discuss."
"Ma'am, it was this submissive who messed up last night," he says.
"Edward, look at me," I demand. "You did mess up, but I failed you. I am guilty in this, too. We will fix this; I will not let you go."
We finish our breakfast and Edward goes and gets dressed to go out. I gather together all the paperwork I need for the police station. I also grab our D/s contract and limits sheets: Peter requests that I bring them with me. We head off to the Police station; I choose to drive my Escalade.
"Are you putting the Viper away for the winter?" Edward asks me.
"Yes, I noticed a frost this morning, when I got up. I do not want my baby getting damaged by the salt, sand, and crazy winter drivers."
"You like to drive fast don't you, Ma'am?"
"Maybe," I say with a chuckle.
We listen to music and joke lightly the rest of the drive. We arrive at the police station, park, and go inside.
"Edward, while we are in public today, you will call me Isabella. Do you have any questions?"
"Only one, Ma'am. Why did you want me to go to the police station with you?"
"Edward, this situation causes us both problems. I think it is in my best interest for you to know what is going on. To be completely honest, I am grateful to have you with me. With you, I feel stronger," I say with a smile.
Edward smiles at me, and seems to hesitate slightly, but goes ahead and picks up my right hand and kisses the back of it. I lean closer to him and caress his cheek with my left hand, and smile back at him. We walk in the front doors, holding hands.
I am use to dealing with the metal detectors and security check, but I can see the shock of the process on Edward's face. Once we are inside, we are seated in a room, where we are told the detective will be right with us. Laurent arrives within minutes of us being seated, and I introduce him and Edward.
"Edward, this is my attorney Laurent Baxter. Laurent, this is my…Edward," I catch myself. I am unsure of what I am classifying him as, and the hitch does not go unnoticed by neither man. Good job Bella, open mouth insert foot! Before I can flail more in my own awkwardness, the detective enters the room. This time Laurent does all the introductions, Detective Uley asks us to call him Sam.
After just five minutes of being in the room, Laurent pulls out several photos of Mike following me. As the photos come across the desk, I hear Edward gasp.
"What is it, Edward?" I ask him.
"Can I see a photo of what Mike looks like please?"
"This is a copy of the mug shot taken last night when we brought him into custody," Sam says, as he slides a photo across the table.
"I need to call my secretary. This is the man who came to me just yesterday afternoon, asking me to draw plans for a new home for him and his wife. He said she was a lawyer," Edward says. "He also said that the property was in your neighborhood, Isabella."
After almost two hours, all the information is documented and we are on our way out of the station.
"Edward, since we have two hours before we have to be at Peter and Charlotte's house for lunch, let's go pick up a few things from the mall."
"Okay, I do need to buy a gift for my mother and father's anniversary. We always celebrate it on Thanksgiving, but they were married on December first. This will be their forty-ninth anniversary," he tells me.
"What are you thinking of getting them?" I ask.
"Well, I have been trying to figure that out. There is no gemstone, or flower; there is no real definitive gift. Best thing I can find online is a luxury of any kind. Not very telling or helpful is it?"
"No, not really it seems," I chuckle.
"One site I found said anything luxurious. Some of the suggestions were jewelry, leather, fine rugs, and luxury resort vacations."
"I think a nice vacation sounds good," I say with a sigh.
"Well, I will keep that in mind when I buy you a gift for Christmas," he says.
I can see that he is worried about saying that after he does, so I squeeze his hand lightly. I smile at him, as we drive toward Lindale Mall.
"Something luxurious, hmm…What about a nice matching watch set? We could check out one of the jewelry stores and see what they have." I ask him. "You could get them engraved."
"I just got them matching watches last year for Christmas, and they do not like to travel much anymore. Got any other ideas?" He asks me.
"You know when Esme and I had lunch last week, she mentioned having you design an all season's room for their house."
"That is a really good idea. Do you mind if I make a quick phone call?" He asks.
"No, go ahead," I say.
I listen as he calls his brothers, putting them on a three-way call. I listen as he explains to them what Esme has told me. They agree to go in together and pay for the remodel, and build of the new addition. Edward assures them that he will have the design finished by Thursday for the get together.
I hear Edward tell them to hold on a minute, and see him mute his phone.
"Ma'am, are you going to be there for Thanksgiving?" He asks.
"Yes, Edward, I confirmed with your mother yesterday on the phone."
He un-mutes his phone and quickly tells his brothers that we will both see them on Thanksgiving. After he hangs up, he smiles at me.
"Well, what store should we hit first?" I ask him.
"This is your show," he says with a chuckle.
"Well, then first stop off is to Bath and Body Works. I will pick up a very nice large gift basket for your mom. What is her favorite scent?"
"My mom will love you to death for that, and her favorite scent is 'Twilight Woods', last I knew."
We laugh as we get out of the car and make our way into the mall. After shopping for about an hour and ten minutes, we head back out to the Escalade. We again hold hands as I drive us to Peter and Charlotte's house.
Sitting here, enjoying a lovely lunch with friends, is what I call a nice relaxing day. It has been nice spending the day with Edward being 'normal', as if that is truly possible for me. We finish eating and being social, and move to the den to talk.
"Before we start this talk, I want this to be crystal clear with both of you. I refuse to rose color any of this, nor will I go easy on either of you, in anything I say. From this moment forward you will refer to me as, Master Peter. You will refer to Charlotte, as Master Peter's submissive. Do you both understand me, and agree to these terms?" Peter asks us both, with a raised eyebrow.
"Yes, Master Peter," we both answer together.
"Isabella, you know I respect you as a Domme, but I am the only Dom in this conversation right now. Do you, Isabella, have any issue with that?"
"No, Master Peter, I have put forth my trust in your guidance," I tell him.
"Edward, you have known me now for a while, and I need to know that your trust in me, is the same as it has been in the past. Do you trust me with your best interest?"
"Yes, Master Peter," Edward responds.
"Well, then let's start with the rules of this conversation. There will be no room for insubordination of any type in this room. There is no raising of voices, unless it is I, who feels the need to express myself loudly. There is no room for lying, or half truths. No disrespect intended, but I will punish one, or both of you, if I need to. Can you both abide by my rules?"
"Yes, Master Peter," we both respond.
"Well, then let me see if I understand the general idea of what is going on," Peter says. "Isabella, I know that your past has scarred you deeply. I know that you tend to push everyone away. I know that you hold yourself in, and hide yourself away. I know that you think that you are unlovable."
I keep my eyes trained to his as he speaks, even though his words are cutting me deeply.
"I know the pain and the hurt that you ache with every time you try to let someone in. I know it took you six years to openly hug my wife, and she's your best female friend. I, also, know that deep down, you crave true happiness."
I nod my head in confirmation, that what he says is true.
"There is much more, but for now, I am moving on to Edward," he says as he turns enough to look at Edward.
"Edward, you are a very strong man, yet you are a natural submissive. You openly and freely submit your trust to your Mistress. You also love with your whole heart and when you find yourself in love, you tend to think that love will surpass everything else. I know that you have been hurt, and let down many times in the past. I know that no matter how hard you have tried since being hurt, a normal relationship has never worked for you."
I notice that Edward slightly nods to Peter.
"I believe that you love Isabella, not only as your Mistress, but also, as a mate. Is that a correct assessment?"
"Yes, Master Peter, I love her with my entire being. I only truly feel as if I am a whole person, when I am with her."
"Isabella, I am going to ask you a question. I do not want the Isabella, the Domme, to answer. I want to hear the answer coming from Bella, my wife's best friend. Can you manage that?" Peter asks.
"Yes, Master Peter, the answer will come from me," I respond.
"Do you love Edward?" Peter asks.
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EPOV
This has been a really long day, and the last place I expect to be is at home in my own bed alone. I didn't get much sleep last night. I spent much of my awake time mentally beating myself up for my lack of verbal filter. Tonight, I am lying here wide-awake, with more than a little on my mind to think about.
I keep thinking about all of the things we did today. I am still shocked about that Mike punk contacting me to design a home for him and his 'wife'. Finding out how he has been stalking Isabella relentlessly, just makes this anger I have never felt before, come out. Mike has harassed her since our return from Chicago, and it really pisses me off. I want to beat the hell out of that sorry son of a bitch. I am glad that he is in jail, because if he was free, I am sure I would be getting arrested.
Spending time with Isabella today at the mall was a different experience. We shopped and went out in Chicago, but there, it was more of a vacation. Going to the mall with her, and shopping with her, felt almost domestic. I told her over and over that she did not need to buy anything for my parents. Walking through the mall with her and holding hands, makes me feel like she is truly mine.
Isabella is a beautiful woman, and I noticed that almost every man we walked past was looking at her. I gave everyone of those guys the eye; you know the one that says back off asshole, she is mine. I really enjoyed our short time out, and I am so glad for her help in solving the issue of what I would give my parents. I know my brothers had not gotten a gift yet, either, so her idea worked well for all of us. One thing about us Cullen men, we tend to put off gift buying until last minute, you should see us on Christmas eve.
Lunch with Peter and Charlotte was wonderful, again I felt as if we were just a normal couple enjoying the great company of close friends. It made me happy when Isabella chose to sit close to me when we first arrived. Several times during our meal, she rested her hand on my thigh, like she had to be touching me.
Sitting with Master Peter, and his submissive during our talk, really showed me a lot about Isabella. I learned that her trust issues went much deeper than I had anticipated. I learned how hard it was for her to have contact with anyone who was not her collared submissive. I learned just how deeply broken that woman I love used to be, but most of all, I learned how much she still needed to heal. Thinking about how deep her hurt is, brings tears to my eyes. Just the haunting memory of hearing her answer his question, makes the tears fall faster. 'Yes, Master Peter. I love Edward, but I can not trust myself enough to allow that love to flourish and live.' On the verge of all out sobbing, I get up to get tissues and a drink of water.
You already submit yourself into someone else's hands, but now you're sitting here turning in your man card, too!
Master Peter demanded that we not spend the rest of this weekend together; he even drove me to Isabella's to get my things and my car. I trust Master Peter, and I am willingly doing what he says including the homework that he gave me to do. Master Peter gave us both writing assignments, and we will be meeting with him again on Saturday morning to go over them. So here I am lying on my bed with my journal, preparing to do my writing assignment.
Master Peter really laid down the law with us both, he was very clear and left no room for a grey area regarding his orders. Our BDSM contract is no longer in existence; he actually ripped it up in front of us. He says it remains that way until we sit down and talk everything out, and have a clear idea of what we are doing. Until that day comes, we are not to partake in anything lifestyle oriented at all, with each other or anyone else. We are no longer Domme and submissive, and Mistress, Ma'am, mo daor, and mo milis are on vacation. We are simply Edward and Bella, until we can fix things; that is the way it has to be. We are to talk on the phone at least once daily, each talking for at least half an hour. We can talk about anything that we feel will let the other know who we really are. The only off limit topics are us as a couple, or the lifestyle. Master Peter suggests we start with discussing our childhoods, and how things were for us growing up. We are not to see each other at all, until Thursday. We can be together for Thanksgiving, and we can go out on our first official date Friday night. However, we are forbidden to participate in anything BDSM lifestyle related, and there is absolutely to be no sexual intercourse.
Glancing at the clock I see it is only nine, this night is dragging by. Thinking about my writing assignment, I am really soul searching. I know if I do not put forth complete effort, Master Peter will call me on it, and maybe even punish me. I have to describe how I would feel without Isabella in my life…the mere thought makes my stomach hurt. The ringing of the phone stops my thoughts.
"Hello," I answer.
"Hi, Edward, how are you this evening?"
"I am doing well, Bella, just been sitting here doing some thinking. How is your evening going?"
"I am okay. I am feeling a little lonely right now, and that is surprising to me. I figured I would call you and talk to you for a while tonight. Are you busy?" She asks.
"No, I was just sitting here, thinking about my writing I need to do. Let's play twenty questions, that way we can talk about things and learn things about each other at the same time," I suggest.
"Okay, that sounds like a good idea. Just remember the rules we have to follow," she laughs.
"What was your favorite book when you were a kid?" I ask.
"'Where The Sidewalk Ends' by Shel Silverstein was always my favorite book," she says. "What is the worse food you have ever tried as a child and did not like?" She asks in return.
"Well, I am not sure it is really a food, Poi is more of a condiment I think. Honestly, it tastes like wall paper paste and it is purple. It was horrid, and awful, and it was the worst part about visiting Hawaii."
"You went to Hawaii, when you were a kid?" She asks in a surprised tone.
"Yeah, my parents went there for vacation when I was nine. My brothers and I had so much fun, but the Poi was awful. Hey…hold the phone…it was my turn that means you have to answer a double question," I chuckle.
"Okay, you're right, make it a hard one, and that will cover both," she says.
I could already hear that her tone is more relaxed than when she first said hello. I know that she is nervous and is scared about putting herself out there.
"Okay, a hard one…hmmm…okay, I got one. What is the hardest memory for you to deal with before your father's death?" I ask.
I hear the breath she sucks in, and I worry that I have pushed too much. Deep down, I know that if she confides in me these painful things from her childhood, that one day we will be okay.
"That is really a hard question, and there are a few things that come to mind. There were always tough things to deal with. I think the hardest memory for me though, was the day I saw and heard my father breakdown and cry to a tombstone, about how difficult it was to raise a little girl alone."
She stops and sniffles, and when I think she is done, she starts back in.
"Daddy did not know I could hear him, but I had woken up when he closed his car door. I was quiet and I got out and followed him. I watched him clean off the weeds and place flowers in the vase. I saw his tear streaked face as he pressed his lips to the stone. I listened, as he told her of his undying love and devotion to her. My heart broke when he cried out in sorrow, when he raised his face to the sky and yelled at God for taking her away. The hardest part for me though, is when he looked back down to the stone and told my mother he loved her, but he was not sure how to be a good father and a single parent."
"Bella, thank you for sharing with me that part of your-self. I am sorry, I know that it is hard to think of those things," I tell her.
"Thank you, Edward, for caring enough to ask. If you do not mind, I think I am going to get some sleep. I did not rest well last night, and it is going to be a long week."
"I understand, I did not sleep well last night either, and I should get some rest. Can I call you tomorrow after I get back from my parents house, from Sunday dinner?" I ask.
"That would be lovely. Goodnight, Edward, sweet dreams."
"Goodnight, Bella, I hope your dreams are sweet as well."
I hang up the phone with so many different emotions going through me. I want so much to tell her I love her, I want to hold her in my arms. I want to tell Master Peter to go to hell, and chuck his rules and go to Bella now, but instead I put my journal down and turn off the light. Glancing at the clock, I notice it is after ten already. I set my alarm for six and get comfortable in my big lonely bed.
The last thing I think of is everything that I have to do to make this work. I will do anything to show Isabella that she can trust me, and that I will be there for her always. They always say if there is a will, then there is a way; well, it will be no easy task, but I have the will and she is my way.
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A/N: The Sunflower Awards are open for your votes right now, currently TeamallTwilight has been nominated for:
Best Edward….A Sub Search Best Bella….A Sub Search Best Esme….My Sisters 3 Best Charlie….My Sisters 3 Best other character…Sam….My Sisters 3
Best All Human Story…..My Sisters 3 Best Reviewer…(meaning I review stories I read)
AND
Cullen Confection (The AWESOME beta for this story!) was nominated as best BETA.
Voting goes until May 25th
Winners will be announced on: June 4th.
thesunflowerawards (dot) blogspot (dot) com
(remove the spaces and replace the dots….Go nominate your favorites or, wait and for your favorites.)
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As always I need to send out a very special thank you to the wonderful ladies who help me make this story readable. My beta CullenConfection, is so awesome. Be sure to check out her story 'Boys Of Fall'. The wonderful and talented butterflybetty, who pre-reads for me. Be sure to check out her MANY wonderful well written stories. Last but not least by any means, Jess2002. Not only a great pre-reader, but also talented author of many stories, and her hot ass story 'Sugar Daddy Needed' is killer. These three ladies help me more than they even begin to realize, and I am very grateful to have them.
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Thanks to all the loyal readers and reviewers out there, as always if you review you will get a teaser from the next chapter... As always teasers are subject to change. Let me know what you think…Pretty please with sugar on top and a side scoop of my yummy Edward tied to a bench.
Peace…TAT~