"Harry Potter and the Casino Royale"

By Loki Palmer

Author's Note: Harry Potter and all related characters are the property of J.K. Rowling. Casino Royale is the property of Ian Fleming and Columbia Pictures.

Chapter 4

Arriving at the hotel, Harry and Hermione walked up to the reception desk. "Good afternoon, and welcome to the Hôtel Splendide," said the receptionist. "How may we be of service?"

"Harry Potter and Hermione Granger here to claim a reservation, under Dan and Emma Radcliffe."

"Ah, yes, Monsieur Potter, you do look like Monsieur Radcliffe, non? Either one of you can sign on the form."

"Hermione, darling, since you're in charge of the money, you sign."

"With pleasure," said Hermione, but the scowl on her face said the exact opposite. As they left for the elevators, she asked him, "That's just great, Harry, you've blown your cover! What was the big idea with that stunt you pulled?"

"Hermione, I think M's right. Most likely, LeChiffre already knows I'm here, so what's the point having a cover?"

"Oh, yeah, a cover's useless if it's already blown."

"That is my point exactly."

"I was being sarcastic, Potter. You just had a hunch that LeChiffre already knew about you, and now he knows something else about you besides your name."

"And what would that be?"

"He now knows that you often engage your mouth before you engage your brain."

"Ouch. So, shall we go up to our room together?"

"I'll be seeing you later, Harry. I don't think the elevator can handle the both of us PLUS your gigantic ego," said Hermione as she entered the elevator.

"Monsieur Potter?" called the receptionist. "This just recently arrived for you."

Harry accepted the package he was given. "Thank you."

~[James Bond riff]~

Inside the package were a couple letters, one from M and the other from their contact – with the cover name Rupert Grint. Shaking his head, Harry said to Hermione, "Any fan of the Harry Potter film series would see right through these cover names we have, Hermione – you can now see why I decided to dispense with my cover name."

"I still don't think it excuses you, Harry."

"Hermione, the film series has made more than one billion Galleons worth of wizarding money in the Muggle world alone! Anyone who doesn't recognize the names of Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson, and Rupert Grint must be terribly isolated from society – or a religious idiot who thinks Harry Potter is evil. The irony of it all, Hermione, is that I defeated the most evil wizard of all time, and there are religious people who think I'm the evil one!"

Hermione sighed. How many times had she been through her fellow students avoiding Harry for some reason or another? "Harry, I know your life has never been easy, but you must not let your detractors get you down. Even among the religious people, there are some who support you wholeheartedly. J.K. Rowling is herself a Presbyterian."

"She did a marvelous job with the books." Indeed, both Harry and Hermione were fans of both the books and the movies.

"Harry, I still think it's quite disturbing how she had you paired with Ginny at the end. She looks like your mother, after all."

"I still shudder to think about it – that's the only part of the books and movies that I did not like. Bonnie Wright didn't even get that much screen time – and people are supposed to believe that she and I got together? That's honestly my only problem with the series."

"I know, Harry. How about we head out to meet Ron?"

~[James Bond riff]~

"Hey, you two, long time no see!"

"Indeed, Ron. Tell me, how have things been for you since you left us?"

"Where did I leave you, Harry?"

"You were complaining all through our seventh-year camping trip, and when you had enough and told me you wanted to leave, I Obliviated our location out of your memory. Security measure, Ron, you understand."

"Oh, right. It was pretty awful for some time after I left, and I discovered that the Deluminator I got from Dumbledore would help me get to wherever you were. I'm still not sure how it worked, but it enabled me to Apparate to – this forest you were at – "

"How did you know we were there?" said Hermione, a cold expression filling her features.

"Just a hunch, I guess, Hermione, and I was hopeful one of you would come out – "

"Ron, what do you mean? We never saw you!" said Harry.

"You would have seen me, if Snape hadn't chased me away and took the Deluminator. I never saw you again – until now."

"Snape?" Harry and Hermione were astonished.

Ron nodded. Harry, meanwhile, flashed back to seeing the mysterious doe Patronus, following it, retrieving the Sword of Gryffindor, and destroying Slytherin's locket with it.

"You've been hiding out in Europe ever since?" asked Hermione.

"Yes, I have, and it's been much easier for me now that Voldemort's gone."

"So what can you tell us about LeChiffre and his connections?"

"LeChiffre only arrived a few days ago, and he has been making friends with the chief of police. This could make life much harder for all of us, and since we could not out-bribe LeChiffre, we went with the next best thing."

As Ron spoke, a group of police cars surrounded the chief. Ron continued, "Using this wonderful Muggle technology called Photoshop, we cooked up a spicy little scandal to keep him out of our way. Alas, the amazing things Muggles can do!"

Harry and Hermione nodded in agreement. Any person of power on LeChiffre's payroll was bad news for all of them.

~[James Bond riff]~

Harry hung up a dress by Hermione's bathroom door. "Hermione, I want you to look so beautiful tonight, the other players will be thinking more about your neckline than about their cards."

"Trying to use me as a distraction, Harry? Are you sure it will work?"

"You're beautiful enough for this dress. I'm just trying to work the best with what I have."

"You're sweet, Harry. Thank you for the compliment. Now, how about you try on what I bought for you?"

This last statement caught Harry off guard. "What you bought for me?" He went back into his room to find a very expensive tuxedo. Bringing it with him, he said, "Hermione, I already have a suit."

"Yes, dear, but that suit looks much better than the one you have."

"It's tailored to suit me. How did you size me up so quickly?"

"You haven't changed much in all these years, Harry. Besides, I'm just trying to work the best with what I have."

Harry smirked on hearing his own words turned on him. "Touché … what are you, some kind of an expert on fashion?"

This statement elicited a laugh from Hermione. "Go ahead, Harry, try it on."

Harry did so, to find that it really fitted him well. "Hermione, I have to hand it to you, you know your fashion!"

"Well, I can't have you dressing like a bum around a person like LeChiffre, now, can I? No, I want you looking good and devilishly handsome!"

Harry gave her a hug. "Well, as far as this part of the mission is concerned, Mission Accomplished. Thanks again."

"You're welcome, Harry. I'll be down in a while."