"Harry Potter and the Casino Royale"
By Loki Palmer
Author's Note: Harry Potter and all related characters belong to J.K. Rowling. Casino Royale is the property of Columbia Pictures and Ian Fleming. Juggling several stories at once can be a challenge … I've also been writing up another story called "Don't Anger Harry Potter" as well as this one.
Chapter 6
Harry woke up the next morning and came out onto the balcony to see Ron. "Hey, Ron, what's up?"
"I'm doing okay, Harry. Did you sleep well?"
"I slept allright. Did you take care of the bodies like I asked you?"
"Of course. Do you see that man down there?" Harry looked down and nodded. The man he saw was a man who was accompanying LeChiffre around as a bodyguard. "He's about to get to his car, but watch this." Ron made a call on his cell phone, and it set a phone ringing in the man's car trunk. The police nearby surrounded the man, and, when he opened the trunk, there were the corpses of Obanno and his partner. Ron stopped the call and said, "Like my dad says, it's amazing what you can do with Muggle technology. Is Hermione okay?"
"Yeah, she's just sleeping."
"Has she melted your cold heart yet?" Harry wasn't sure what to think about the look he saw in Ron's eyes – was that hope or jealousy?
~[James Bond riff]~
That night, as the game was about to resume, LeChiffre said, "I hope our little game hasn't caused you to perspire, Mr. Potter."
"Oh, I wouldn't worry about that," said Harry. "I would think I'd only be in trouble when I have the sudden urge to beat up my house elf." Neville started snorting in amusement, drawing the ire of LeChiffre's gaze. "And just WHAT do you think is so funny, Longbottom?"
"It's just … the way … Harry … winds you up … that's all, LeChiffre," said Neville in between chortling gasps that broke into laughter. There were grins all around the table, but Mr. Fukutu's comment of, "Potter-san have balls of steel to want to tease enraged gay Chinese Fireball dragon," the whole crowd burst out laughing, as LeChiffre's face had taken on a red hue and it looked like he might breathe fire.
"Now that everyone's shared a laugh at my expense, shall we continue, Monsieur Mitterand?" asked LeChiffre.
"Of course, Monsieur LeChiffre," said a smiling Mitterand.
~[James Bond riff]~
Some time into the game, Harry noticed an eye twitch on LeChiffre's face. "Aha! I've got you now!" He then decided to go all in – toss in all his chips – to try to win over LeChiffre's money in one fell swoop. LeChiffre went all in as well, just to call Harry. Unfortunately for Harry, his attempt backfired, and he lost the rest of his money.
"Oops," said LeChiffre, a grin on his face. "You must have thought I was bluffing, Mr. Potter."
Harry stormed outside to the balcony, where Hermione followed him. "Harry, you really messed up this time. I'm sorry …"
She found herself facing him, and his eyes were glowing with rage. "Oh, YOU'RE SORRY? HOW ABOUT YOU TAKE YOUR SORRY AND SHOVE IT WHERE THE SUN DOESN'T SHINE? Sorry that LeChiffre's going to keep on killing off innocent people and supporting international terrorism? I've just lost my money that I had to win the game, and you're SORRY?"
"What else do you want me to say, Harry?"
"I don't know, Hermione, I don't know … I just needed a small opportunity to vent, I guess. Would it be possible to buy back in with the five million Galleons?"
"I'm afraid your ego is just going to lose us those as well, and then what will we have left?"
"You know, YOU'RE A BLOODY GOOD HELP WHEN I NEED IT!" Harry then stormed back inside, murderous. Grabbing a table knife, he made his way towards LeChiffre, only to have his way blocked by Neville.
"Harry, brother, where are you going?" Seeing the knife Harry was holding, he said to him, "You have to have some more faith, Harry. You almost have him right where you want him."
"Had. Excuse me, Neville."
Showing a surprising amount of strength, Neville grabbed Harry's arm in a tight grip. "What's wrong, Harry? I know you've lost the 10 million Galleons you started with, but isn't Hermione going to help you out?" Harry shook his head in the negative, and Neville smiled. "I thought so, Harry – guess what? I'm going to stake you by giving you my five million Galleon buy-in, because I'm not going to last much longer anyway. You can take the money when you've finished – we don't really need it."
"Thank you, Neville. Would there be any other conditions I should be aware of?"
"Just one. If you beat him, the Magical CIA will take care of taking him down."
"Deal."
~[DAHP]~
"Ah, Potter … back so soon?" asked LeChiffre. "Got your buy-in back from your little girlfriend, I see?"
"No, that's where you're wrong, Lucy. I got my buy-in from a comrade in arms. Thanks, Snake Eyes."
"Anytime, Harry," said Neville, smirking at the shocked look on LeChiffre's face. "Oh, Lucy, don't look so shocked all of a sudden … how about a drink?"
"Of course." LeChiffre called over his girlfriend and whispered to her, and she nodded. "Allow my girlfriend to get you a drink."
A few minutes into the game, Harry took a big sip of his drink, only to sense something dreadfully wrong. "Monsieur Mitterand, can you deal me out? I'll be back as soon as I can."
"Of course, Monsieur Potter."
"Mr. Potter, are you okay?" LeChiffre had a look of concern on his face.
"Nothing I can't handle. I'll be right back."
~[James Bond riff]~
Harry stumbled into the men's bathroom. Poison … it had to be poison. He tried to take a swig of water to spit it out, but no such luck. He had to get help … oh, boy, his vision was blurring, even with his glasses on … not a good sign … he managed to stumble his way to the car …
"Harry, what's wrong? You don't look so good," she said.
Harry coughed, and managed to splutter out, "Poison … need help ..."
"I'll call up the Ministry."
~[James Bond riff]~
Back at the Ministry, Ginny Weasley, Seamus Finnegan, and George Weasley ran into M's office. M was stunned. "Miss Weasley, Q, George … what's the matter? You look as white as a sheet."
"It's Harry, ma'am. He's been poisoned," said Q.
"Merlin and the saints preserve us! Do we have contact?"
"Yes, ma'am," they said.
"Good … Potter, can you hear me?"
"Yes, M, I can hear you just fine. I don't know … how much longer … I've got …"
"Harry, save your breath, mate. This is Q. George and I are going to try and help you out here. You are to do exactly as we say, or you won't survive."
"Allright, Q. I'm listening."
"Okay … get the EpiPen out of the glovebox, and shove it into your mid-neck. That'll be your first step to counteract the poison."
Harry did so. "What next?"
George got on the speaker. "George speaking here, Harry. Get the defibrillator out, and put the pads on your chest. Turn the machine on, and wait for it to charge. As soon as the red button is lit, you press it immediately, do you understand me? You've got one shot!"
About a minute went by, and Q said, "He should have pushed it by now. Harry, push the button! Push it! Push it!"
"POTTER, PUSH THE BLOODY BUTTON!" screamed M.
There was a long beep of a flatline on the monitor. Ginny fell sobbing into Q's arms. All four people stood there stunned with tears in their eyes. It couldn't be. It couldn't ….
But it was true. Harry Potter was dead.
Harry saw a tunnel of light, and went into it. The first person he saw was Alastor "Mad-Eye" Moody, who said to him, "What was it I always told you, lad? CONSTANT VIGILANCE! I can't believe that you would take a drink that somebody else gave you, and you ended up dying from Muggle poison!"
"Alastor," sneered Snape, "Potter thinks himself beyond such crude means of death. Get killed by a Dark Lord once and you suddenly think you're invincible."
"Oh, put a sock in it, Snivellus," said James Potter. "Prongslet, it's still too soon for you to end up here. Your mother and I know you love us, but you'll get your time one day … we would prefer that it be a long way from now."
"Unless I'm mistaken," added a smirking Lily Potter, "a certain genius named Hermione Granger is going to be furious with you. We'll meet soon – just not – so soon."
Before Harry could make any response, he heard a voice yell, "HARRY JAMES POTTER, YOU AREN'T GETTING AWAY FROM ME THAT EASILY!"
~[James Bond riff]~
At the Ministry, the shock and sobbing continued … until the steady beeping of a heartbeat was heard on the monitor. Q rubbed his eyes, and said, "Do my senses deceive me?"
"Nope, your hearing's just fine, Q. Hermione Jean Granger reporting for the salvation of the Ministry's most dimwitted 00 Agent."
"Hermione, we're so sorry about the defibrillator. We were sure it would work …"
"Put a sock in it, Q … the defibrillator would have worked, if Harry had only remembered to make sure the wires were connected!"
"Oh, that's how that happened – OW!" said Harry, for Hermione had delivered him a round slap to the back of the head.
"YOU BLITHERING IDIOT! HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I HAD TO SAVE YOUR LIFE BECAUSE OF YOUR STUPIDITY?"
"I'm afraid I've lost count, Hermione … honestly!"
Hermione's face softened. "Oh, how can I stay mad at you for long?"
George winked at Q, who groaned, "Oh, please, not another lovey-dovey moment!"
"Whatever is wrong with the lovey-dovey moments, Q?" asked Ginny. "I think they're sweet!"
"Too much mushiness, Ginny, too many …" Q didn't even finish his sentence, for Ginny latched onto his lips in a searing kiss. When the kiss had separated, he fainted from the shock.
M smiled. "Miss Weasley, next time you decide to snog Q, pick a more private area. Miss Granger, you have our thanks. Potter, make sure you get to a hospital."
"I'll do that as soon as I can, M … but I have to win a card game first."
M's smile grew as she rolled her eyes … how could she doubt Harry Potter for one second?
~[James Bond riff]~
LeChiffre's eyes almost bugged out of his face from sheer astonishment when he saw Harry sit down, but it only lasted a split second as he covered it with a smile of relief. "I hope you're feeling better, Mr. Potter?"
"Much better, thank you, LeChiffre, but that last hand nearly sent me to my grave. Let's continue, shall we?"
About an hour later, Neville lost his last chips. It would soon be down to Harry and LeChiffre. Mr. Fukutu and Mr. Tomelli were also along for the ride, but even so, they knew that the match would go to one of these.
The moment of truth had arrived when Fukutu and Tomelli had put in all the rest of their chips, 11 million Galleons between the two of them. With LeChiffre putting in all 50 million Galleons of his chips, Harry had to go all in to call him. Altogether, the total in the pot was a boggling 122 million Galleons.
The hands of Fukutu and Tomelli were allright, but they were no match for LeChiffre's flush hand in hearts. Harry won the game, however, with a resounding straight flush in spades.
"Monsieur Potter wins," announced Mitterand.
Neville laughed and clapped Harry on the back. Harry said, "He's all yours, Neville."
"Much appreciated, brother. Stay in touch."
"I will." Harry then walked over to a smiling Hermione and kissed her. "Shall we have dinner to celebrate, Hermione?"
"I would love that a lot, Harry. Great work."