Chapter 7 Apology/Couple

The sound of my boots echo off the stone walls of Hogwarts as I storm away. I can't believe I have just done that, poured my heart out in front of everyone. Now they all know why I haven't been myself (anything but myself, not even a shadow) all year and they are all going to be crowding round me offering sympathy. I don't want sympathy! I just want my Remus!

I continue to storm through the castle. It pains me to see the magnificent building in such a sorry state. Whole chunks of the stone walls have been blasted off and shattered into pieces on the floor. Portraits and tapestries have been torn to the point of being unable to recognise what was on them. The smell of dust and burning lingers in the air. So does the fear, the anger and the anguish of the battle that ended not an hour ago. It's a sorry sight. A depressing sight. I guess I fit my current surroundings perfectly.

Unfortunately I am so busy thinking and being bitter about things (Remus, Dumbledore, life in general) I fail to notice a large chunk of rubble in my path. My foot catches underneath the stone and I go flying until the cold, hard floor stops my take-off rather harshly. Now my knees and my pride hurt as well as every other part of me.

To be frank, I can't be bothered to pick myself up. No I'll just stay here. Pathetic and broken. That's me. I'm sick of 'knock-me down, I'll get right back up again'. I'll just lie here and bawl my eyes out until somebody finds me.

And that's what I do. I just stay flat on the floor crying. The tears come in floods, I let them. My head buried in my arms, my body trembling. I let the long overdue breakdown wash over me with no attempt to stop it. It's only when I here footsteps that I lift my head and turn it to look behind me.

The figure coming towards me is unmistakable. Tall, lean. Bloody gorgeous despite the grey and the lines and the scars and the tired appearance. Great! Just who I need to find me in such a down-trodden, weak state. Remus rushes towards me, concern covering his face.

"Leave it I'm fine." I say, my voice hoarse from all the crying.

"You are anything but fine Tonks. You're a mess." His voice is equally as hoarse, but that's just Remus,

"Yes, and you know who you can blame for that!" I snap; it is impossible not to lose my temper. I make no attempt to get up and talk to Remus face to face. He wouldn't do me the honour earlier, why should I?

"Tonks! I realise-"

"If your here to feed me more rubbish, don't bother! I've heard enough off you to last me a nice, lonely lifetime."

"Lonely?" oh don't be so surprised Remus.

"Yes I'll be lonely. Because you're 'she'll find someone else, someone who deserves her' is not going to happen. Want to know why?" I try and fail to calm myself.

"Why?"

"Because I love you! I'll always love you. Nothing will ever stop me from loving you. Nothing has stopped me from loving you. But there you are still- 'oh no, I'm not good enough, I'm too poor, too dangerous blah blah blah'," I mock him. Perhaps I'm being a little unfair, "I'm sorry," I mummble. Despite being so furious at him I can't bring myself to be nasty without feeling instant remorse. He gets enough nastiness off the general wizarding public; he certainly doesn't need it off me.

"No, I deserve to be mocked for being such a fool."

"Its just I am getting so frus-" and then what he just said sinks in. I make the effort to look up at him for the first time in our conversation, "A fool?"

"Yes. I've been a fool. A bloody fool, as you'd put it,"

"Too right," I manage a weak smile. A ghost of a smile.

"So, I've come to apologise to you." He states, grabbing my coat and pulling me to my feet so that I am facing him, "I'm sorry. Molly was right, I was being ridiculous. I love you. And you love me and that is enough. Everything else doesn't matter, as long as I get to spend the rest of my life with you, however long or short it may be."

Oh dear, has he got a whole speech prepared? Whenever am I going to have time to accept his apology?

"I just hope you realise that my doubts were never about you, only about myself. And I hope you can see why I had those doubts, why I still have them. I've spent my whole life being used to being rejected because of what I am and that really didn't do anything for my self-esteem. Then you came bowling into my life and you didn't care, but all the years of being told I was a monster made me care, I know I shouldn't lis-"

It's a beautiful speech but I am kind of getting bored, so I shut the man up with a passionate kiss. And it's like the last year had never been. It is just Remus and me again. Nothing else matters. It's all about how he wraps his arms around me, how he kisses me back just a passionately. The missing piece to my life has been put back into place. I'm me again, I'm complete. I'm Tonks, and although my eyes are shut tight, I know I have the bubblegum pink hair back to prove it...