IN: Irene here. Dad's still in the hospital. The two misses asked me to apologize for the long wait for them for the dry spell. I'm not going to do that, but I'm going to tell you that they asked me to. Seems to work just as well to me. Although, I'm not even sure who I'm apologizing to. Helloooo? (Echo, echo, echo...)
Anyway, Sab said to say something about this 'real life' thing she keeps talking about. I don't know what it is, but it sounds like a bunch of crap if you ask me.
- Something slightly milder than outright disgust and contempt, Irene
Chapter 5 - Welcome to The Family
'We are now arriving at destination Station 18C on Mullipark Avenue. Please be sure to gather all of your belongings before exiting the train. Hyrule Metro System is not responsible for any personal items or belongings that are lost, stolen, or destroyed. If you have any questions or concerns regarding...'
They walked for a long while in the industrial park before anyone addressed Kali. Her hands were shoved in her pockets and her head low and timid, but while she was still a fish out of water, she had to admit she felt a little tingle of excitement at playing not-quite-thief-hero.
"Okay Rule One, kid;" Agatha began, "don't piss off the fearless leader...or anyone for that matter."
"Okay."
"Rule two. REALLY don't piss him off."
"Rule three, don't make eye contact with the Sheikah. Just...don't. Don't talk to him unless he talks to you, and don't ask dumb questions. Do that and he's harmless.
"Rule four. Always knock and don't touch anything if it ain't yours."
"Okay."
"Alright," the blond said as they came to a warehouse.
She pulled out a key and unlocked the door, letting them in. To the left of the entrance, the building was big and empty with a few work benches and a massive echo. A small Sheikah was elbow-deep in the innards of a jeep, clanging and clacking amplified by the bare walls. To the right was a door with carpet poking out the bottom, speaking promises of areas with actual furniture.
The Sheikah stopped what he was doing and looked up at the trio.
"Shit just got interesting," he said with a note of pleased disbelief at Kali, before looking her up and down.
Kali made a face and decided that not talking to the Sheikah was probably a good rule.
[He's all bark]
"Womanizer," Aggie snapped.
"Whore."
She huffed, and he went back to work on the jeep.
"Rule five, stick up for yourself," she muttered. "I'm not gonna do it for you forever."
Lloyd looked intent and alert for a moment, then turned to Kali.
"Perhaps it is best that Conrad and Veronica aren't here at the moment," he said ambiguously to her. "You will meet them later." He then added under his breath, "Unfortunately for you."
He moved his hand to Aggie's elbow and spoke directly to her.
"Will you take me to my room? Then, perhaps you should introduce her to the boss. I think he would like to meet her."
"Yep, sure," Aggie chirped. She took him towards the back, still holding his hand. "Imma gonna come chill later, kay? I don't want to watch when V and C get back..."
Kali looked after them nervously.
Suddenly, the Sheikah spoke.
"Been a long time."
He punctuated the statement with the thunk of the jeep's hood. Kali took a little step back, not sure what to make of it.
"I-um I dunno...what-"
[Just let me do this.]
And then suddenly she was half across the room and, as far as she could tell, the red-eyed man was laughing for no reason and bracing himself on a work table.
"How did you do that?" Aggie suddenly asked from behind her.
"Idunno?"
"I'm gonna take you to the boss then..." she said, leading her away from the laughing Sheikah by the elbow. She was a little afraid that he had finally cracked. He always had that manner about him... You never could tell with dark magic types.
"Remember, be polite; don't piss him off."
She knocked and waited.
There was a muffled voice from the other side, and suddenly Agatha shoved Kali through the door and slammed it behind her. Then she was in an office that smelled of warm chai tea, standing across a huge desk from a tiny, tan strawberry blond boy in a huge, peppered gray office chair that threatened to swallow him.
He did not look at her for a long time, so she took the chance to try and figure out exactly what she was looking at. She had expected someone like Christopher Walkens or Nicholas Cage. But this kid didn't come close. He seemed to be little more than skin and bones and whatever was needed to hold them together- and not even much of that. His strawberry blond hair was carefully flattened and pressed in a style straight out of a magazine. She couldn't decide if he was a transvestite or not because she didn't pay much attention to the ifs and buts of cross-dressing and because she wasn't sure if mid-riffs like the dark gray one he was wearing were still strictly female clothing.
He sat on one leg to look at the laptop on his desk and punched in a few keys with one hand, as the other hand was occupied by a fluffy, cinnamon-blond chihuahua which was looking at her with its furry ears pricked and its dark brown eyes wide. He scrolled a bit, clicked the touch mouse, and scanned the screen. He picked up the chai tea latte and sipped on the green straw as he read. He put it down and scrolled again.
"Oh look, this one's about us," he remarked, but whether he was speaking to her or the dog she couldn't tell.
Soon, he seemed to reach a point where he wouldn't inconvenience himself too much by pausing. He sipped on the tea, then turned his gaze to her, and suddenly under the soul-crushing pressure of his turquoise eyes she felt as though she were half his mouseish size.
His straw made an uncomfortable slurping sound. He put the cup down with a hollow, styrofoam 'tup'.
"Welcome and good evening, Miss Kali," he finally said. "My name is Cody Drake."
He cleared his throat, stared at her for a moment longer, then went back to the laptop.
"Now before we start, I would like to get to know you a bit. What kinds of things do you like to do, Miss Kali?"
[Be professional.]
She wasn't sure if it was the influence of the poe or her brain processing that the boss was a tiny gay boy with a chihuahua.
"I'm a librarian and I'm a history major with a minor in linguistics... I did roller derby for a while - I won't get into that... I like to keep my private life private, if you don't mind. I've done a few jobs myself in the past few months, but it's kinda exciting to work with other people now."
It all came out of her mouth sounding like her, even the syntax and stress, but she certainly wasn't saying them. Kali didn't like that at all. She liked that even less than losing two minutes in the conversation with the Sheikah. Panic started to rise, tingling in her belly and pushing up into her dry mouth and starting a stress headache.
[Calm down, deep breathes]
She somehow proceeded to take a few deep breaths.
Cody raised an eyebrow.
"I never mentioned your private life," he said. "I asked you about what you like."
He glanced back to the laptop and clicked open another page.
"I assume you like books, if you're a librarian? I like books myself."
[Ramble about the books. You're good at that.]
So she did.
"Yes, I'm a rather big fan of anthrocosmic approaches to fairytales and mythology. I'm a big fan of Jung and others, but I also have a a huge fangirl lust for surrealist stuff but also for regency romances..."
A little happy smile sprouted on his face.
[Oh Din... Mention Mr. Darcy. Do it.]
"...I've always had this thing for Mr. Darcy..."
This wasn't really true, she likedColonel Brandon better; it just felt like the right thing to say. She was more of a Sense and Sensibility girl, really.
"I have to admit that I have always loved Mr. Edward Ferrars much more."
He stopped on the subject of Mr. Edward Ferrars here. The reason why he loved Mr. Edward Ferrars was something he was pretty sure that this poor little newbie did not want to hear upon meeting him. (That was, by the way, that Mr. Edward Ferrars seemed the type that was easily dominated in bed.)
"But I adore each of her characters for what they are. Unless they're meant to be hated. But even then I admire her ability to twist her audience's perception of the character in question. She was quite the wonderful writer..."
He sighed happily, still smiling.
"But enough about our mutual secret fangirlism for Miss Austen and her work. I'm sure you're not who you are today simply by loving Mr. Darcy. And no, I am still not asking for a back story. I am just wondering what your passions are."
Her passions? She thought for a moment.
"My greatest passion I suppose - don't laugh - is school. Curiosity will kill the cat someday, I guess... I think it's what got me into all - this..."
She gave a general wave meant to include her possessions as well.
"I like to know things; I like to have things under control. I like to know what's on the other side of things. I think I would have liked to have been an explorer back in the day, you know? I dunno if that made any sense. Most of my passions are trivial, I guess.
"...
"I suppose you wanted me to say stealing things, didn't you."
She scratched the back of her neck. He slowly grinned.
"No. Not at all. A person whose passion is stealing things is known as a kleptomaniac. Kleptomaniacs are not very useful."
Click. Scroll.
"The useful ones are the ones who know that in order to get anywhere in this world, you must know everything you can. And you have proven to me just now that you are included in that group- unless you are fantastically playing me, for which I would have to commend your skill anyway."
He finally closed his laptop, and looked at her, scratching behind the chihuahua's ear.
"I never went to school a day in my life. But in the absence of public education I have devoured every shrapnel of knowledge that has come by my feet down the location of rummage sales. I have educated myself in as many things as possible, pertinent and useless. Would you believe me if I said that a good bit of my portion of the money we make goes into textbooks? While the internet is good for general knowledge, and encyclopedias serve as a sort of index for the universe, it is from textbooks that you can learn the most extensively."
He looked down at the tiny dog and scritched under her chin.
"So in that aspect you and I are very alike. This pleases me. But for the exact same reason, it makes me wary of you."
He looked at her from the tops of his eyes and smiled.
"I suggest you speak wisely until I trust you."
[Be charismatic again... I dunno if you can do that, but do it.]
She smiled back.
"I'm not much of a mastermind; I wouldn't worry. And I don't mean that in like a weird reverse psychology way. I just have loans to pay back and can walk through walls."
Vidar balked a bit when she reverse-pulled information out of him. He hadn't told her that wall-walking-through was what she was hired for, and neither of her collectors had managed to say anything about it in earshot. Kali didn't think anything of it and just chalked it up to more poe influence. She was approaching giddy with nervousness now.
Cody only laughed, a harmless, honest little laugh.
"That has been my conclusion thus far. But there is a possibility for anything. It is difficult to get by me, but that doesn't mean that there isn't someone out there who can do it."
Then he smiled, took another dry slurp from the chai tea, tossed it into a trashcan, and held up the blond, long-haired chihuahua, who had been silent and mostly still for the duration of the meeting.
"This is my girl Pandora. I suppose Agatha did not take the courtesy of introducing you to my other babies? Come, I'll show them to you."
He held the chihuahua against his chest with one arm and pushed himself out of his chair, walking past Kali. She followed him out of the office. It was strangely comforting to know that he, unlike most of the crew so far, seemed non-crazy. It meant something in her book if animals liked a person. They were generally better judges of character than most people. Generally.
Quill caught sight of them and started snickering again, repeating something about some girl named Ari under his breath and almost starting to laugh all over again.
Creeper.