Chapter 12
After the lot of them had spent the day at Hogwarts, there was a definite change in Harry and it was for the better. Without knowing they were doing it, Remus and Sirius had found a way to bring the boy right out of himself. Even though they were not going to fool themselves they did not yet have a long way to go, they had set off on the right foot at last it seemed.
When Harry had gone on with Severus on his own that had been the real turning point in the day and they all knew it. Sirius saw a little Gryffindor emerging out of Harry's shell.
Had they gone up there a few weeks before they would not have managed to get Harry to pull his face out of his godfather's neck. But he was a much happier boy and at six, they both knew there arrangement was not enough.
They had to set up the sort of life he should be living. They had to get him stimulated and about people his own age. Love was the basis of what the boy needed. Now he had it, they could build on it.
But first the living arrangements had to be dealt with – a flat in the middle of the city was the last place in the world that James and Lily would have wanted them to settle with their boy, as Sirius seemed to recall on a daily basis and so it was that before they had even consulted Harry on where he would like to live the two adults had decided it was to be somewhere big and in the country where they were going to be able to run about.
And Sirius wanted to each him how to horseback ride. It was a rather muggle like past time his mother had said but he had learnt when he had been at the Potters and he had loved it though he was not brilliant. James had spent many happy hours laughing at him as he had tried to hold on for his life. Lily had ridden gracefully though.
And so it was that one day after breakfast, Sirius lead Harry into the living room where Remus was already waiting for them with some drawing paper and some pencils.
"Right Harry –" he said as he gave him a wink and put the paper and the pencils in front of him. "Draw me your dream house."
Harry liked to think in the time he had been with them he had got quite good at drawing. It was one of his favourite things to do at night when they were getting on with adult stuff, not that they left him on his own for long.
A thoughtful look came over his face. Since he had been there, he had not given a lot of thought to anywhere else. It had been the only place he had wanted to be.
For the first time, he wondered if he could not be there where he would like to be...
The first thing he drew on the paper though was three people – them – for he did not think any where could be a 'dream' place for him if they were not there with him.
Over the top of him, Remus and Sirius shared a smile. His love for them, or at least the strength of it had come as a bit of a shock to the pair of them but a wonderful surprise. It had been a long time since any of them had been so adored.
Then he got on with the house. Naturally, the drawing was quite childish with a door in the middle and windows surrounding it. One either side with one above the door as well.
"Where would it be mate?"
He shrugged.
He had not given a lot of thought to the location – but then he had not thought of it at all before they had brought it up.
"Somewhere where we can run about and play," he was beginning to understand there was a good reason that they were asking all this. "We're going to move aren't we?"
He did not think he had ever got the sense that Sirius had seen this as home. He knew it had been Remus' before they had come together, so if anyone was sad that they were going to leave it, it was going to be him but he did not look as if he was cut up over it.
"We are indeed," Remus nodded with a smile on his face.
"What do you say to a big house in the country?" asked Sirius and Harry's eyes lit up.
"That would be so, so good!" he said as his eyes turned to the picture and Sirius put his arm about him.
"I do not know if we are going to be able to get a house as good as the one in your picture but we are going to try ok?"
He nodded eagerly. He had not minded living at the flat though. It had been a home to him in some ways – more than number four had ever done. As far back as he was able to remember, it had been the first place he thought he had ever felt really safe. It might be tatty but when he had walked into it he had felt warm. And he had always ... well, he had never wanted to be anywhere else.
Never wished himself away from it. It went without saying that when he had been with his aunt and his uncle that was the only thing he had ever done.
But then he knew it was not so much the building he loved but the people who lived inside of it. It was the first place he had been with Sirius, so it was always going to be special to him. But the truth was he was going to follow him anywhere and he did much not care where he lived.
His eyes feel on his picture though and he did notice there was something missing. If this was his dream... he did not think that the other two would mind.
It was with a cheeky smile that he once more picked up the pen and on the lawn out the front of the house that he had drawn he drew a black dog.
"You want a pet at your dream house?" said Sirius highly amused.
On account of the fact that there were already two animals so to speak in their family, he had not given a lot of thought to getting Harry a pet as of yet. There had been so much else going on. But as he thought of it he could not say it was a terrible idea – in fact he thought it was a rather good one. After all, Harry was an only child and a pet might act as an ideal replacement sibling.
He knew if Lily and James had lived then he would not have been an only child.
His eyes met Remus who looked as thoughtful as he did on the topic and he knew he was not exactly against the idea wither.
Knowing, Harry was looking for an answer, he sighed. At last he was asking for the things he wanted and what would give him pleasure and for that Sirius was very thankful.
"We'll see ok?" he said to the boy who was suddenly wearing a very cheeky, James like smile.
And so over the next few weeks the three of them invested a lot of time in talking over what they all; wanted from their new home. Even though it was not the most exciting topic for Harry unless they were talking about his room, they were none the less determined to make sure they included him in the discussion.
For the first time in his life, they were going to give him a permanent, stable home. They wanted it to be the setting of many happy child hoof memories for him.
And a place he really wanted to go back to.
What all of them got out of the conversations they had thought was whatever they ended up with, it was perhaps predictably going to be none to conventional. After all, they were not a bog standard two point four kid family were they?
No what, Sirius seem to think was going to be best for them was a bachelor pad fit for a family.
Nothing – god forbid – too girly.
The more they spoke about it the more he got excited over it. Asides from Prongs mum and dad's place, he knew it was going to be the first proper home he had ever had. He was going to be living in it with the two people who meant the most to him in all the world.
After he had put Harry to bed that night, Sirius sat down to write his cousin a letter. As much as he hoped they were going to be the ones doing the main house hunting, he was not going to lie and neither was Remus – they could do with a little help.
When they had been looking for places before it had been for bachelor pad that they used for sleeping in and not much else (mainly because that was all they were good for). But this new house had to be a proper home.
And so he enclosed a copy of Harry's drawing and sent it off to Andy with Remus' weather worn Owl, Romulus. James' had been the 'genius' behind that name – very imaginative... apparently...
\./.\./
About half way through the lunar circle, Sirius left Remus and Harry to their own devices for the afternoon, making a mess as they tried to bake a cake. He knew he was going to be expected to taste some when he got back and so he intended to take a slow walk to up to Hogwarts and put off the inevitable a little longer.
He had tried some of Remus' cake before.
As he wondered up the path again, he had to ask himself what the hell he was thinking. When Remus had first said to him that they might use Snape as a baby sitter at full moon he had been ready to send him off to St Mungo's to have his head checked out.
But to his great annoyance, the more he had thought on it the more it made sense. Harry had asked him more than once when he was going to get to see Severus again so it was obvious he had become very attached to him in the hour or so which they had spent together which to him seemed ridiculous but the fact was it had not taken Harry even less time to latch on to him. It had happened once, and it had happened again. Harry, for all he had been through, was a trusting little boy. And as annoying as it was, he now needed Snape on side.
He was doing it for Remus more than anyone though. When he had come back from full moon, he had felt so guilty and he knew he wanted to be out there with him the coming month – he had to try and protect him from Moony.
So was that selfish? And was this putting Harry first as he had sworn he was going to do on countless occasions.
He didn't know. But he had to do it for Remus and the werewolf had not been too proud to contradict him. James would agree with what he was doing.
And so here he was.
He quietly made his way along the route to Snape's apartments, remembering the way he had gone when he had been to see him with Harry and once he had knocked, he respectfully waited for the Potions Master to answer rather than just barge in as he might have previously done.
He had wrote ahead to say he was going to come up as well and so it was not with surprise that Severus met him at the door.
Without Harry by his side, Sirius knew the two of them were far more likely to end up rowing. But they had to try for Harry even if he was not there. Now Severus had met Harry and the lad had an emotional attachment to him, that always had to be in the back of his godfathers mind when he was dealing with the man he had only ever thought of as a snake before.
"Black," said Severus as he let him in to the flat trying to push his own thoughts about the man asides. He would have to forget this was the man who had caused him countless humiliations.
But then it was easier than it had been. He was a much happier man of late – much more willing to forgive.
He only hoped Black was feeling charitable as well.
"Snape," Sirius nodded as he went in to his rooms feeling intensely awkward.
He had not ever thought he was going to find himself in a situation such as this one. He had gone to his old enemy to ask him to help with his godson and again there was that voice in his head that was saying this was madness. But at the same time it worked.
"Why don't I go and get us a coffee?" Severus offered still trying to let it sink on that Sirius had come to him on a social call and he did not want to throttle him – much.
On his returned, it looked as if Black had finally worked out how to say what he had come too. "Ok, I am just going to put my cards on the table because I have no idea how else to do this, Snape. I am never going to like you. I don't like you and you don't like me, it's the law. But on the other hand, I want to thank you for making an effort with Harry. He kinda thinks you're the best thing since sliced bread."
Despite that the word were coming from the month of Sirius Black, Severus felt himself smiling. Ever since he had had to say goodbye to that little boy he had been wondering when he was going to get to see him again.
"I'm glad and I agree. We are not going to be friends, Black – but I want to be part of Harry's life and if I am going to do that then we are going to recoil the two."
"Shockingly – and I can't quite believe I'm saying this – you're right," Sirius said as he got the feeling he was being forced feeds humble pie for the years of torment. "So that is why I am here. For his sake, for Harry's. I want a truce."
"As do I." Said Severus and he offered him his hand. He didn't know why - but it seemed the right thing to do and the two of them were trying desperately to figure out what that was when they had no idea.
Sirius took it.
"A truce it is then?" he said with a grim smile.
"Yes it is."
Sirius had thought he was going to need a lot more time to talk him round and as his hand dropped he was smiling. He was glad they had come to such a swift agreement.
Yet, even as the two of them sat there together the under tones and the small print of there truce was forming in their heads. The most important one was that the truce was only ever going to last as long as they were both good to Harry.
If one or the other was to hurt that boy then the other would make sure he could not be hurt again by the offending party. And it went without saying, Sirius still held legal guardianship... that, he would never surrender.
But for now, the uneasy truce stood and as they drunk there coffee, the two straight talking men got lost in their own thoughts and memories of their own past as they tried to figure out how and when they had ended up there together. Life had not been kind to their generation.
While some of their scars could be healed some losses – the losses like that of James and Lily - were still green, and would never fade.
Were they so different, Snape and himself? Sirius mused and he knew he was never going to get an answer for that due to the fact he didn't really want one. Didn't need one.
"Severus can I ask a favour of you?" Sirius said as he got ready to leave.
"In the spirit of the day, yes."
Sirius took a deep breath... the two of them getting on as they were... well, it was freaking him out a little bit.
"In a couple of weeks, it is going to be full moon. When he is left on his own Remus can do some pretty horrific damage to himself and when I can go out with him it seems silly to let him do it. But I have Harry to consider. Last month, I had to sit home because he was still not too sure of himself, but I think – the way he goes on about you... If I can talk him into it, would you have Harry for the night please?"
"Of course," Severus nodded. To be asked to have the boy for a whole night was a lot more than he had been expecting or hoped for. But it was what he wanted.
"Thank you Severus. Thanks very much."
Unknowingly mirroring Severus actions from just a few nights before, Sirius went to the lake before he went home to remember James. When he was with Harry his grief was combated by his love for his boy. But when he was on his own it felt as if he was half a person. Soul mates didn't have to be romantically linked together. His soul mate had been the only true brother he had ever had. And as he stood there, he sobbed.
He could hear James in his ear mocking his intense grief, but he could not stop crying. He had gone to Snape for help. He should be the one James asked for help with Harry. This was not the way it was meant to be...
Grief was so unpredictable he thought. Just as it seemed he was pulling himself together, he fell apart all over again. There was no Hogwarts for him. Not any more...
He was glad to get back to the flat.
"Hey guys," he said as he stood in the door way of the kitchen to find a laughing Remus trying to clean up a flour covered Harry. There were no cakes in sight; only a very happy child.
"Hey Sirius, guess who started a food fi-" Remus stopped when he noted Sirius' red rimmed eyes. "You ok?" he asked as he looked at him.
Sirius nodded. "I'm fine."
Harry wondered over to him. "You're sad Padfoot."
"Only a little. I was thinking about your daddy when I was at the school. I saw Severus and he can't wait to see you again," he said and Remus gave him a congratulatory wink on having got through the meeting.
But it seemed his little man had only heard the first part.
"Don't be sad Sirius." Harry told him, remembering all he had said to him when Sirius had been doing the comforting. He put his arms up to him. "We're together, right? And daddy loved us both and he'd want me you to be laughing when we remembered him, right?"
"Indeed, he would, my wise Harry," he said as he picked the boy up, regardless of the flour that would go on to his own robes. The lad hugged him tightly. "My Pup," he whispered. "And my Moony," he said as his oldest friend came in on the hug.
Not very guy like, but very necessary. The three of them stood there for a while holding one another, finally allowing themselves to believe; life had given them a good hand. They were going to be damned if they didn't play on now.
Another indication of their luck perhaps changing as well was that when Sirius asked Harry if he would like to go a d spend a night with Severus, he nodded vigorously, and didn't even change his mind when Sirius made it clear to him that he would have to go on his own. After all, he and Moony were going to be sorting out the boring bits of the 'house stuff'...
\/\/\/
A week of house visiting followed. They were either too small, or too girly, or the garden wasn't big enough...
It was exhausting work.
As mid week once again approached, the two marauders and Harry chilled out together in the living room.
"Do I have to have a bath tonight?" asked Harry.
At last, an extraordinary six year old lad was being an ordinary six year old lad. An amused grin passed between Sirius and Remus.
"Yeah – Harry, you don't wanna stink do you?" Sirius asked. "You didn't have one last night."
He shrugged. "I can't be worst than Moony after the baked beans."
"Harry!" Remus laughed, thoroughly enjoying the bolder boy.
Sirius on the other hand, nodded. "Don't deny it, Remus – the kid has a point. But just because I live with one stink time bomb, don't mean I am going to live with another, pup. You're getting in the bath tonight."
"Padfoot, please!"
"Erm... no, you're still having a bath."
Harry had been about to respond to try and get out of it another way when there fire went.
"Oh my god, Sirius let me up, let me up!" a rather excitable voice said on the other side of the grate.
He did so.
"Was that Andy?" asked Remus as Harry scrambled to his side, having jumped at the voice. Pulling up the lad into his secure arms, he none the less kept smiling as a rather dishevelled Andy came into the room, covered in soot.
The middle Black girl would have usually complained about being so dirty, but at that moment, she was not sure she cared so much...
"I have found it and the three of you are going to love me forever!"
"Ok," her smiling cousin said at her a she tried to figure out whether he should call Ted before or after he carted her off to St Mungo's.
"What have you found darling?" he said as he tried to keep a straight face.
"The house! I've got it – well, I haven't brought it, but – you're going to love it. Especially you Harry, it's beautiful!" she looked as if she was so excited that she was going to burst.
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