Chapter Twenty-One:
Cilwenu Eileen Snape, born on the fifteenth of June, 1980, was the light of Vivienne's life, the moment she was brought into the world.
Her dark brown eyes were like precious stones in Vivienne's own eyes, and she swore her daughter looked exactly like Severus. Severus couldn't deny that Cilwenu was indeed darling.
She cooed and laughed, sputtered when she ate, and wiggled when she was amused. It was truly a sight to be seen.
Vivienne had, finally, a month before Cilwenu was born, finished off preparations. Within the next year, she kept repeating, she would be out of Cilwenu's life. Not by choice, technically.
Vivienne was not completely sure just how she would die, she just knew it was going to happen. It made Severus feel so helpless. What would he do the day it happened? Would he be there? Would Cilwenu be there as well?
He waited in anticipation, dreading every hour that passed.
"I have my wand, which will belong to Cilwenu when the time comes. She will have a part of me with her always. I have it all ready… for the right time."
Severus nodded, drinking a glass of coffee, which Vivienne was so terribly fond of. It kept them both awake in the late hours, and ultimately kept Severus from toppling over throughout, what seemed like, endless hours of extreme crying and temper tantrums.
Cilwenu was sweet, but still a fireball when something did not exactly go her way.
She had the attitude of her father, and the magic of her mother, although, she did not have such futuristic visions.
Vivienne claimed she would never. Not, at least, until she was much, much older.
The months flew by, and Cilwenu learned so fast the many things that she could do. At the age of only seven months, she learned how to do the lumos spell when she picked up Severus' wand while he had his back turned. Immediately, Severus snatched up the wand, uttered nox, and gave his tiny daughter the most cautious look he had ever given anyone.
Cilwenu cooed, and rose her arms up to reach for him. Severus, unbeknownst to him, assumed she was merely reaching for his wand again. Severus snorted at her, and hunched on his heels to examine her face. Cilwenu toppled over on the floor with such a heavy thump, that it scared her. She cried pitifully.
Severus sucked in the breath stabbing his chest at the sound of her cry.
He instantly reacted, and reached for her, taking Cilwenu into his arms and close to his body. Ultimately, his warmth comforted her, and that was the moment that Severus promised, finally, that he would never leave that child alone…
"Oh, my love! That's it! You can walk!"
The day after next was Cilwenu's first birthday. Severus dreaded it.
Vivienne stayed close to their daughter that whole day, teaching her things and singing her lullabies that Cilwenu would possibly never remember.
"The eve of my death, Severus… you know it's coming."
He shook his head, unwilling to answer Vivienne. He rather not discuss it, but the closer it got, the more she brought it up.
"You have to Obliviate our daughter. I do not want her to remember a thing."
"Why?" he asked in a husky, almost inaudible, whisper.
Vivienne lay beside Severus, tangled in the sheets with her hair flowing over the side of the bed. Oh, how she just loved to lay there with him, even if it meant nothing at all to him. It felt like home, and she could weep at the thought of never being able to hold him so close again once she was gone.
"She'll be there when it happens… I know what it means… She won't remember me. She won't have a single inkling of my existence. It pains me, but I have seen it."
"You can… stop it… can't you?"
"Severus. I love you with all the fibers of my being. I want you to remember the love I had for you, and the love I had for my daughter. I want you to never forget me. I know you will never love me like you loved Lily Potter. I know she is gone out of your life forever, and I have the slightest thought that me leaving you is going to make it worse. I am terribly sorry that Lily has gone, Severus. I am."
Severus flinched at the mentioning of Lily Evans. He shrank from Vivienne, and bit the inside of his lip. He stopped the burning behind his eyes, and then stared up at the wide ceiling above him. She was right, in a way. But, Severus would not forget her as if she were just a piece of old parchment.
Vivienne was not nothing in his life. She would leave her imprint on him, if not a little deeper than Lily.
Be it possible.
"Please do what I say."
"She is walking, my love, look at how she sways!" Vivienne said in an exuberant tone. She clapped her hands, as did Cilwenu when she heard her mother doing it.
Cilwenu laughed, loud, and it reverberated off the walls. This was one of the last memories to be made with Cilwenu and Vivienne, but it was so unfortunate that Cilwenu would never get to look back, see pictures, or hear the lingering sound of her mother's voice in her heart.
The more he thought, the harder it felt.
His heartstrings were being yanked.
He, Severus Snape, would miss this.
As fast as the eve came, it went, and Severus held Vivienne in his arms, kissing her forehead one last time as she drifted to sleep. They'd laid like that for hours, Cilwenu fast asleep in her crib, undisturbed. She would not wake for another several hours.
Vivienne made sure of that.
Stroking his back, Vivienne kissed Severus' chest. She whimpered and clung to him. It was the first time he had ever heard her cry.
"Happy birthday, Cilwenu darling." Vivienne said, leaning down and handing her daughter a small box.
Cilwenu waved her arms dramatically in the air, cooing and carrying on in that baby talk the two had become so accustomed to.
Severus watched Vivienne and Cilwenu together. The way Vivienne carefully unlaced the bow from it's box, and revealed a sort of delicate silver locket. The way Cilwenu tilted her head to the side in confusion as her mother draped such locket around her small neck and kissed her cheek. Or, the way Cilwenu reached out and grabbed Vivienne by the shoulder, hugging her in a true, beautiful hug.
As much as a little baby could.
Vivienne smiled, left her daughter to play with her toys, and stood up.
"Have the owls come?" She asked Severus, not looking up at him completely.
Severus shook his head, and then cleared his throat, "They have not."
"I think I will step out for some air, would you like to join me?"
His eyes averted to Cilwenu, laughing and sputtering, before going back to Vivienne, who still couldn't bring herself to look up in his direction. He cleared his throat one more time, tugging the collar of his black cloak away from his neck. It were as if it was going to choke him. Anything she suggested kept him on edge,
"Please join me. Cilwenu will be fine in the house by herself. The elves will tend to her if she cries. I just would like to spend a little time with you." Vivienne sort of begged. She reached out and took hold of Severus' hand, leading him to the front door with ease.
He obliged, and followed, watching her shoulders tremble, and her curls bounce with her steps. His heart was pounding abnormally inside his breast, and he felt the sting of loss already.
It was going to happen soon, and knowing the exact time would be such a burden.
He still hoped she was wrong.
"I wish things could have gone differently." Vivienne began, as the two of them stood on the front lawn, next to a patch of white gardenias, planted by Vivienne herself.
Severus still felt her hand in his, squeezing, tangling, needing.
"I know I was meant to meet you. I knew this is what was going to happen to me, to us… to her. I only wish I had a little more time to be with you." Vivienne's tears were as clear as the sky above them. They slid down her cheeks and further beneath her chin. Her lips stayed in a perfect smile, but Severus could tell that it was killing her inside.
Put aside the irony.
"Perhaps your predictions are wrong."
She shook her head, "I've told you many times that when I predict something, or when I see what is to come, it is never wrong."
He sighed, "You can't evade what's going to happen?"
"I do not know exactly how it will happen. I have thought about it everyday, every hour, minute… every second of my life since I became pregnant." She shuddered, and eventually let go of Severus' hand.
He winced at the lack of warmth. It was one of the first times Severus had ever felt so helpless, so upset. Turmoil was slowly boiling inside the pit of his stomach. Every time the breeze blew, he flinched in fear that she would be gone in front of his very eyes.
But that had been predicted too.
"Will you miss me?" Vivienne asked suddenly, turning to look straight into Severus' eyes.
Severus blinked, parted his lips, paused, and then swallowed. Would he?
Would he miss this woman that he still barely knew, despite having spent over two years with her. He had learned so much, and he gained a child from it. Severus knew that, once Vivienne was gone, he wouldn't be able to look at his daughter without thinking about Vivienne. Nothing that child did wouldn't. He knew she would grow up to be just as beautiful, maybe a little less determined, but definitely just as beautiful.
So, would he miss her?
Of course.
"It doesn't matter. I know you will never forget me."
Inside of the house, Cilwenu's deafening cries could be heard. She screamed so loud, that it ached Severus' heart unbelievably. Something was the matter with her, and Severus wanted to make sure she was not seriously hurt. Vivienne stood there, still smiling, and staring up into dark eyes now filled with concern and fear.
She motioned for him to go inside, letting him know that she was going to remain outside. It would be okay, is what her eyes told him, and he rushed into the house in search of his daughter.
"Episkey." Severus uttered, repairing the small break in Cilwenu's arm that she had gained from trying to crawl up the large staircase.
Her bone snapped back in place, and Cilwenu cried harder, the pain, the fear, all still there. She was scooped into strong, warm and somewhat nervous arms, cradled to a chest that breathed in and out unsteadily. Severus didn't know what to do, he didn't know a single lullaby to sing, and he knew that she would not stop crying without the help of her own mother.
Heading to the door, Severus could see the figure of Vivienne still standing in the yard. She was looking down, and her arms were held over her stomach. She shivered, and Severus could not see staring at her back, what was wrong.
Vivienne slumped, and eventually, fell to her knees on the grass, choking on some invisible object.
Severus raced over to her, still holding Cilwenu in his left elbow.
There, he saw the blood forming a rose over the white cotton dress Vivienne wore that day. She cried, and smiled, and looked up at him with the most caring expression that he had ever seen. She choked a little more, before falling completely over and becoming lifeless.
Cilwenu cried much like she had in the house, and reached for her mother's body, but Vivienne would not reach back.
Severus held back the sob in his throat that threatened to force itself out at any given moment. It was only a few minutes ago that she was standing there, assuring him that it would be okay. He knew, yes, that she would be gone before the day was over, but had he known it would be the same time he went to check on their daughter, he wasn't sure he would have been able to leave her side. Vivienne was dead, and Cilwenu's memories were scarred for the rest of her life.
If he didn't keep his promise, that is.
Still, though, he stood, and he stared. Elves scurried about the lawn, and halted at Vivienne's side, pushing her down on her back and lifting her limbs to conclude that she was actually, completely, a shell of nothing. She would not open her eyes, and she would never hold Cilwenu… or Severus in her arms again.
That smile, oh that smile… it remained on her lips, even through death.
Severus would have to Obliviate Cilwenu soon, he would have to follow through with the promise he made to her mother before she died.
It was never made clear just how Vivienne died… She never specified it, and she claimed she didn't know what was going to happen to her. Severus, running over the negative thoughts in his brain, assumed she commited the death herself. She killed herself.
Then the questions of why she might have done such a thing flooded him, and everybody. Did she kill herself?
Standing in the dark purple and green-silver room, Cilwenu lay in her crib, clutching her pillow in her sleep. Severus stood over the crib, and reached for the locket that was given to her from her mother just hours before.
The child was asleep, and the thought of a nightmare gave Severus the strength to Obliviate her before she would wake the next morning.
Holding his wand, and a detached expression on his face, Severus inhaled, and exhaled.
"Obliviate."
Note: This might need a little tweaking too once I finish the story and read it over. Next chapter, we go back to Cilwenu and Draco, and all that jazz.