Chapter 23
Harry lay under the covers in a strange and unfamiliar bed. He was not crying, but he was not happy. He felt almost as if – well, he didn't know.
He wished he was clever enough to put what he was feeling into words. He did not understand why his beloved godfather would get as angry as he had. It was not like the event had morphed him into uncle Vernon in his head – Sirius could never be compared to his aunt's husband.
But suddenly Harry saw there were sides of Sirius Black he had not seen yet and did not understand.
Due to the fact that he had ever been so kind and gentle when they had been together, he had not realised that he even could get that mad. He knew Sirius had got sad – but then all he needed to do was give him a cuddle and he would smile again.
He didn't like him getting mad.
Unable to settle into the strange mattress, he got up and went back down the stairs. He did not know Ted as well as he knew the others, but he had said to come back down if he had too much trouble getting to sleep.
He found the patriarch of the Tonks family in his favourite arm chair with a tea by his side, clock watching. Instinctively, he knew he was not going to be heading to bed until Andromeda returned.
"Couldn't sleep hey buddy?" the man said kindly as he saw him. In truth, Ted had not expected Harry to stay in bed as long as he had.
Harry shook his head. "Is Sirius not back yet?"
"No – not yet, mate."
"He is going to come back, isn't he?"
"Of course he is! You know how very much he loves you – there is nothing in the world which he would leave you for."
Ted put his arms out for him and took him in his arms the way that he would with his own child. He was so glad he had been brought into his life for he had become a surrogate uncle to Harry and he thought the world of him.
"Why don't you stay here with me while we wait for Sirius to come back, hey?"
He nodded and relaxed back into him – then all the two of them could do was wait.
As he held on to him and occasionally gave him a squeeze for reassurance, Ted could not help but think he had never seen a child keep so still.
It was as if Harry though if he moved then Sirius was never going to come back to him.
Finally – after what seemed years of waiting – the door opened.
"Where is he?" the deep voice of Sirius Black asked.
XXX
Remus had to admit his surprise that Sirius had given up the chance to kill Peter to himself as they arrived back at the Tonk's. There had been a moment when he had thought he was really going to go through with it. There had been a moment when he had been more than willing to help him go through with it.
He did not think the two of them were ever going to be able to adequately thank Andromeda for what she had done when she had ultimately saved them from themselves – saved them from nearly ruining the life the two of them had had to work so hard to build.
He flashed back to the night when he had first taken Sirius back to the flat from Azkaban. In truth, it seemed a life time ago now.
He did know if his best friend was just going to scare the lad more as he was then – but he knew Sirius. And he was not going to be put off from seeing Harry that night. And if he knew his little nephew, then he knew he was not going to settle until he had seen his godfather. The fact Sirius was in a desperate mood could not be avoided.
Together, with Andromeda, they walked through to the living room where they found Ted with Harry on his lap, trying to comfort the boy.
He was not doing a bad job either, considering what a nervous little thing he was.
"On thank god," Sirius said as he took Harry from Ted's on sight. Remus wondered if he had been a little too forceful initially, the way he scooped Harry up in his arms. But then, he could put that down to the affect of seeing Peter that night. Sirius had been scared shitless in truth when Andy had said he might lose Harry.
They both had.
As soon as he had his child in his arms, Sirius seemed to settle immediately. He seemed to grow gentler, more like the man he had been since he had got out of prison.
As he pulled back, Sirius ran a hand over Harry's head, trying to flatten out his jet black hair. "Are you ok, pup? You're not hurt?"
Even as he said the words, Sirius knew they were utterly irrational and Peter had got nowhere near him. Due to the fact that Harry had been spirited out of there so fast the rat had not had the chance to hurt him – and he was never going to have the chance again now. But Sirius felt as if he had had to check.
"I'm fine," said Harry as he nestled back into Sirius, hiding his face in his godfather's neck. He looked up when Remus came over to the two of them to give him a kiss on the head.
"You're ok buddy – we are all going to be ok," said Remus to him with an encouraging nod.
Nothing was going to be able to stop the three of them now.…
"What happened? Why did you get so mad so fast?" Harry asked Sirius quietly as he held on to him.
Looking back on the way he had reacted when he had put the pieces of the puzzle together at last, Sirius did not think he could be proud of the way he had responded. No one knew better than he did what a sensitive little mite his godson was. Even when he was angry, he should remember that. Even though he had not been angry at him he had been affected by it.
He swore that day that he was never going to scare Harry like that again, for even though the boy would never say it, he knew he had scared him.
But Sirius also knew he could have reacted no differently. Having your best friends murderer turn up like that – how else was he meant to react?
"It is a very long story – one I do not think that you are going to fully be able to understand until you are a lot older... but... Harry, you remember I told you there were some wizards in our world who were not like Remus and myself? Bad wizards?" Sirius questioned.
Harry nodded as Sirius carried him over to the sofa and settled him on his lap, without releasing him from his warm embrace. "Yeah."
"Well... you see it goes back further than that. Did I ever tell you what an Animagus was?" Remus's eyes approvingly met his own. It was time. Harry had to know now.
The boy shook his head. "Well, then I was an idiot and I should have – I know you are very clever, brave boy and I was stupid not to trust you to understand."
"You're not stupid," Harry protested weakly as his small had comfortingly found Sirius cheek. It was cool and tender.
Sirius kissed his forehead. "I am glad you don't think I am stupid but you have to hear me out before making a judgment this time buddy. You see what an Animagus is, is a wizard who can turn into an animal. Pretty cool, right?"
"Right."
"Shall I let you in on a little secret not many people know?"
"What?"
"Your daddy was an Animagus – and so am I."
Harry looked as if it was a bit too much to take in for a minute before he turned to Sirius and asked the obvious question. "What can you turn into?"
"A big black dog – and your dad could turn into a stag..." said Sirius with a smile, remembering the hard days and nights he had to spend studying to become an Animagi. "But your father and I did not learn alone – there was another boy."
"Moony?" guessed Harry.
"Well yes... and no."
"That is a tale for another night Harry." the werewolf pitched in. "Right now, the boy Sirius is referring to is Peter Pettigrew. He was at school with us and we believed him to be our friend."
"But he wasn't?"
"No... Not really. He just pretended."
Sirius mouth went dry. Remus could only think how much admiration he had for his friend even getting that far. The two of them had hoped that years were going to pass before they had to get into the darker side of the past.
But it was not to be.
"Harry, do you remember that night back at the flat when I told you about the bad man – Voldemort – who was the reason mummy and daddy died?" Remus said and heard Ted and Andy gasp behind him. He knew they were meant to say that named. He was meant to fear him, wasn't he? But there were precious few things Voldemort could do to him now that he had not already done before. Lily and James's death in some ways, had released him of that fear. As Harry nodded Remus continued, "Well, the man who we thought was our friend – Peter - he helped lead Voldemort to your mother and your father. He was a traitor to us – and his Animagus form was a rat."
Silence feel over the room and Andromeda turned to see that at some point Molly and Arthur had come down the stairs. They must have heard them return. She hoped that they had been there long enough to understand what had taken place, which from the look on their faces they had.
"He was Percy's rat, wasn't he? That was why he bit me. That was why you got so mad so fast?" Harry asked and Sirius nodded. It made him feel sick to think he had been sending Harry to the same place Peter had been for weeks on end daily.
It had not been intentional, needless to say.
"That is pretty much the size of it pup." Sirius nodded. "And I am sorry I got so mad. That wasn't fair and was wrong of me. I didn't mean to upset you."
Harry was about to tell him that he hadn't and shrug it off. But when he was so close to Sirius he couldn't lie to him. He knew beyond doubt that Sirius would know he was being lied too.
"What's gonna happen to Scabbers now?"
The question had been on everyone's face. "Well, he is in ministry hands now – and he is going to be punished justly for what he did to mummy and daddy."
"And is he ever coming back?"
"No, sweet boy. He's darkened our days for the last time," he said as he pulled him closer still. A heavy silence fell over the room, an understanding among the adults.
"Love you Sirius." said Harry as he cuddled his godfather ever closer.
"I love you as well, Pup. More than anything else," Sirius declared with rather misty eyes.
It was a long time before any one moved.
XXX
Even though Sirius knew he as well as Remus and Harry be more comfortable if they were just to return to the house that night, the suggestion was not even made. Together with the Tonk's and the Weasley's, they were going to camp down at Shell Cottage for the night.
"You should try and get some sleep," Andy said as she came into the living room to see Sirius still up. Remus had gone upstairs to sleep on the floor of the spare room with Arthur taking the bed a while ago. Molly had gone into Nypmh's room with the boys and Ginny. Though they knew the Tonks, unless Nymphadora was there, it was not as if they stayed there over night a lot. It was a strange night, and Molly wanted to be there for them if they woke up in the night.
"I am not going to sleep tonight – we both know that Andy," he said as he continued to cradle his Harry. The boy had longed since fallen to sleep, having been changed into a pair of Nymphs least girly old pyjamas. "What if he had got to Harry before I clicked?"
"Come on Sirius – you are the last person I have to tell it does not do to live your life by what ifs." She said kindly as she ran a hand through Harry's hair. "What is important is that you did realise. And now Peter can never hurt Harry again."
"I never wanted to hate the way I hate him. I didn't want to know what it felt like... I was an inch from murder tonight..." he realised. "Had you not come in I know for sure in my heart I would have done it. I am capable of murder Andy..."
"Yes... I know. But unlike so many of others who commit murder, you are also capable of great love and absolute loyalty. You feel things so deeply, Sirius," she shook her head. "I just pity the poor girl who first break's Harry's heart."
He gave a small chuckle add a sad smile.
"You can move on now. The war is over Sirius. Focus on being a father."
"I wouldn't here without you."
"Be careful – Ted will have to widen the door frames for me to get my head through!"
She knew he was being – well, serious. And she knew he was telling the truth. Had she not acted the way that he had then the only place he would have been sleeping that night was his old cell.
With her wand, she lit the fire. Kicking her shows off, she put her feet up on the couch and begun to strum her fingers lightly and soothing through Harry's hair, her shoulder on Sirius's shoulder.
XXX
Even at breakfast though, the mood in the house was yet to lift to what it had been the day before at the Quidditch match. Not even the promise of a new rat could persuade Percy to come near Sirius.
Ginny too seemed a little nervous about him, as did Ron, though the twins, who had always revelled in his company, took their lead from Harry who sat by Sirius side with a brave smile on his face. Things were going to be ok. That was what Sirius had said.
Yet his godfather was aware that the nightmare was not over – not yet. And proof of this came in the form of professor Dumbledore.
"Come on, Harry, why don't me and you go into the kitchen?" said Andromeda to him seeing Dumbledore and Sirius head into the living room with Remus. Having just seen the Wealsey's back off to the Burrow (who decided it was time to give the others some privacy) Andy had been in the hall way. "Remus tells me you are a mean baker."
"Can't I go in with Sirius?"
"Not at the moment, sweetie," his honorary aunt said as she offered him a hand which he willingly took.
Yet it was not until Andromeda shut the kitchen door that Harry stopped watching the shut living room one.
"Last night, under the influence of Veritaserum, Peter Pettigrew admitted to – everything," Dumbledore cut to the chase once the door was shut. "Being Secret Keeper, betraying Lily and James. I added my voice to the recommendation that he be kissed and that is the sentence which has been passed. Sirius, your request to be present when it happens has also been granted if that is what you still want to be."
The Auror nodded immediately.
"Don't feel you have too."
"But I do professor. I do. What time?"
"The Dementor has been sent for. Seven o'clock tonight," Dumbledore said gravely.
"Very well. I'll be there," said Sirius as he turned to Remus. "Are you going to come?"
"No – Harry needs me here... but you need this just as much," said Remus with great understanding. The five years of separation had been hard on them both – but it had been harder on Sirius than it had been on him.
He needed vengeance. Now that Remus calmed down, all he needed he found was his family.
Sirius nodded, glad the two of them were able to respect what the other needed without making a big thing of it.
He spent the rest of the afternoon mainly in contemplation. Remus and Harry left around one to go back to the house – little Jaime had been in since the night before alone. He needed feeing and walking. In the havoc which had gone on, they had forgotten all about the poor mite.
Andy's quiet company was the only Sirius could take that day.
Sirius never spoke of the horror he witnessed in that room on that day. He could only say to himself he had borne it as stoically as he could. He would not wish what he had seen and witnessed on majority of humans. But he couldn't say he couldn't wish it on his worst enemy – for he had. And even as he drank a bottle of fire whiskey at James's grave side later that night, he couldn't regret it.
Peter had got his just desserts.
And he had got Harry and Remus back. He could focus on being a father and a brother from that day on.
No more regrets. No more lies.
The time for truth had come and it had changed his life; the truth about October 1981 would hit the press tomorrow.
And suddenly it didn't matter. From that day on, his life focused on the future. Not the past.
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Author Note: Hey all – hope you enjoyed the chapter. Just to give you the heads up, the next 'chapter' going up is in fact the epilogue! I can't believe I'm nearly done on Time now!