Author's Note: First of all, I made a slight change to the timeline. It won't affect this story, but if you have read Sick, then there's something that will happen in this story that is supposed to happen in second year, but it actually is going to happen in third. Most likely, only very few people would have noticed. I will make the change in Sick. Second of all, I would just like to make something very clear here. I have noticed that there are times when people review other people's stories, and they say things like:

"I think you meant James's. You said James'. That's wrong."

The proper way is James'. That's the way it goes in the English language. However, as with many things, the other way has also become acceptable. Just don't tell people they are wrong for being proper. Sorry…but that was bothering me.

Anyway, mentions of Sirius' homosexuality in this chapter. If you don't like it, it was nice while you were here. :)

"Will—I was wondering if maybe you…do you…do you want to…Lily, will you go out with me?"

Sirius groaned. That sounded awful.

Sirius was an early bloomer. When most kids his age were playing, he was reading. When he was seven, he was not fooled by the ridiculous theory that girls had cooties. He had always characterized himself as the rebellious dreamer. From a very young age, he knew he was different, and he always wondered why.

But to say he was…no. It couldn't be true. He liked Lily.

As a thirteen-year-old boy, he assumed his hormones that would cause him to fall for a girl would kick in. They just hadn't yet. He decided to push them a little

Sirius still thought he may have liked Lily. He certainly thought about her enough. She was gorgeous. Gorgeous, brilliant, talented, sweet, and fun to be around. What more could he ask for? He had never liked a girl before, so he supposed maybe he just wouldn't know the feeling because he had nothing to compare it to. Yes, that was it. Eventually, he would fall for her, if not yet.

"Hey, Sirius," said James. "Talking to yourself?"

"Uh, yeah," said Sirius awkwardly. He knew James was over his crush on Lily. James had walked into their third year with a "moving on and liking it" attitude, and in the three months they had already been at school, he had done a pretty good job of moving on. He had already dated and dumped three girls, and he was not yet fourteen. Even though Sirius knew James was over Lily, the thought of saying he now had (maybe) feelings for her seemed strange…wrong.

"You okay, mate?"

"I'm fine," said Sirius. "Listen, I said I would meet Lily…"

"Go ahead," said James, waving a hand to dismiss him.

"I can do it. Lily is a good friend."

Sirius took a deep breath. He kept walking until he got to their meeting spot in the further corner from the portrait hole. There she was, looking just as radiant as usual.

Sirius stood in front of her. He didn't seem to be able to go down to her level. He was frozen.

"Sirius, is something wrong?" said Lily, getting up to stand with him.

Sirius sighed. He wasn't sure if he could do this. What if she said no? Would things be weird? Probably. Okay. You have to do this.

Before he had time to plan the words, they spilled out of his mouth. "Would you go out with me?"

Lily's eyes widened, and she blinked rapidly. Then, she said something Sirius had not been prepared for.

"I was so close to asking you. Patience pays off, I suppose."

"Oh," said Sirius, dumbfounded. "That's a yes?"

"Yes," said Lily, her eyes returning to normal. "I would love to."

Less than an hour later, Sirius was already beginning to regret his decision. He was having trouble concentrating in History of Magic (though that wasn't really abnormal for him or anyone else), and he could not look his best friend in the eye.

"So, I think James is asleep," said Remus.

He and Sirius spent the better part of twenty minutes poking and prodding their friend.

"I've figured that out," said Sirius, distracted.

"…and in the 1940s, we suffered from Martha Welken's awful mistake, dealing with the…"

Sirius rolled his eyes as time continued to go by slowly. In approximately twenty-nine hours, he would be on a date with Lily.

Lily Evans.

Sirius chewed on the end of his quill thoughtfully. He was nervous as hell. What was he supposed to do? Did she have expectations? Did she want him to kiss her?

More importantly, did he want to kiss her?

James had kissed girls. Sirius could ask him what to do, but he still had not worked up the courage to tell James about the date. He wasn't actually sure why he was hiding it. James was over Lily.

Remus turned his chair around again. "Make sure you tell him what he missed," he said sternly.

"Oh, of course," said Sirius, snorting. Like he knew what was being taught.

Other than the whole Lily aspect, Sirius was rather excited to be going on his first Hogsmeade trip. He had heard many tales from his cousins about the magical village. He was particularly looking forward to visiting Honeyduke's Sweet shop and Zonko's joke store. No matter where he decided to go, Sirius knew it would be better than Diagon Alley because his family would not be with him. He would have freedom.

Class was dismissed. Sirius began to wake his snoozing friend.

"How do I look?"

Remus looked Sirius over. Sirius was dressed in a silk black shirt and dark blue jeans. He had done without the robes, figuring Lily wouldn't be wearing them either if they were outside of Hogwarts.

"Fine," said Remus, shrugging.

"Remus, please," said Sirius.

Remus looked up from his book. "How long do you spend on your hair?" he asked.

"Remus!"

"Okay," he said. "Honestly, just relax. You going to tell us about the mystery date?"

Sirius sighed. "Promise you will tell no one?"

"I guess," said Remus.

Sirius looked around the room, despite the fact that he knew Remus was the only one there.

"Lily," he whispered.

Remus' confused frown turned into a small smile. "Why are you hiding it?"

"I don't know," said Sirius.

Which was sort of a lie. His decision not to tell people came from how guilty he felt. He didn't think he felt the way he was supposed to feel with the girl he was going on a date with. The truth of the matter was…he felt dirty.

"You're very lucky," said Remus. "Lily's great."

"I know," said Sirius.

Suddenly changing the subject, Sirius said, ""Where and when should I meet up with you guys?"

"Uh…James is on his date. Peter isn't coming because he's lost his permission form, and I don't even want to go if I'm alone."

"Perfect!" Sirius exclaimed. "Come with us!"

"Uh…no thanks. I don't need to stand around while you have your little date."

"It won't be awkward," said Sirius.

Remus eyed him curiously. "Why do you want me to go so bad? Lily isn't that violent."

Sirius rolled his eyes. "Fine. Whatever. Stay here and read. I don't care."

"I will do just that," said Remus, picking his book back up.

"Have fun," said Sirius.

Lily was truly a gift from heaven. She stood there in front of Sirius with her long and wavy red hair pulled up into a ponytail. One stray piece hung over her eyes. She had a little bit of make-up, which Sirius had never seen her wear before, around her gorgeous eyes. She was in a short black skirt and a turquoise blouse. Sirius realized he had never seen her outside of her uniform.

Lily broke eye contact with him, blushing slightly.

"So, where are we heading?" said Lily.

Sirius shook his head to bring himself back to the date. "Wherever you want," he said courteously.

They had gotten through the greeting by the carriages. The date was okay so far. Sirius told himself to relax.

Sirius walked the village with Lily with extreme anxiety. If anyone glanced his way, he would put a distance between himself and Lily. HE had no idea why. It thought it would be good for his image to be seen with Lily, but his conscience told him otherwise.

When they arrive outside of The Three Broomsticks, Lily stopped him.

"What's wrong?" she said.

"What?" Sirius played dumb. He reused to look her in the eye. "Nothing."

"Are you rethinking this?" she said softly, laying a hand on his shoulder.

Sirius pulled away from her. What was his problem? Next to James, Lily was his best friend. There was no reason to be so nervous.

Sirius took a deep breath. "I'm sorry," he said. "I'm fine."

Lily nodded slowly, hesitant to believe him. "Let's go in," she said.

Sirius opened the door for Lily, slamming it on her knee.

Smooth, Black. How wonderfully smooth.

Lily winced, but she walked it off. "I'm okay," she said quickly.

Sirius nodded, rubbing his eyes. He was already making an awful prat of himself.

They sat down at a table by the window, and Sirius' hands were shaking.

A kind-looking young woman came to them just as soon as she had delivered drinks to another table. "What can I do for you?" she asked cheerfully.

"Have you ever had a butterbeer?" Lily asked.

"M—me? Yeah. Loads of times."

"So they're good?" said Lily, raising an eyebrow.

Sirius nodded. "Get one. I mean…don't…only if you want to. Do you want to get one? You don—"

"We'll have two butterbeers," said Lily. The woman nodded slowly, giving Sirius a strange look before she walked away.

Lily took a long, slow, deep breath. "I don't want to offend you or anything," she said, "but what the hell is wrong with you today?"

Sirius looked confused. "I'm fine."

"Are you nervous?" she asked.

"No," said Sirius.

Lily covered Sirius' trembling hand with her own steady one. "If you're not into this," she began, "I—"

"No," Sirius interrupted. "I am."

Lily shrugged, looking unconvinced. She took her hand away, placing it in her lap.

Sirius decided to pretend that it was not a date. He imagined that they were just two friends…drinking butterbeer, talking. And it worked. Sirius was able to calm down and stop thinking about what he was supposed to be saying and doing. He knew it did not matter; Lily didn't care.

But then another problem came up at the end of the "date." Sirius thought that she might have wanted him to kiss her. The carriages arrived at the school, and they were about to part ways because Sirius wanted to find James. If he was supposed to do it, he was supposed to do it in this moment.

Lily smiled when he took her hand, helping her out of the carriage.

"Well," she said, "I had a really good time."

"I—I did too," said Sirius, becoming nervous again.

Lily pushed away the strand of hair that had been bothering Sirius greatly, but it just felt right back in her face.

Sirius decided to just grit his teeth and do it. Once he got the hang of it, he would probably even enjoy it.

Sirius closed his eyes briefly. When he opened them, Lily was looking at him in a way that suggested she had no idea what to expect from him. Sirius thought that feeling was appropriate; he had no idea what to expect from himself.

Lily sighed. "Well, I guess I'll be on my way to the common room. James is probably waiting at the door for you."

It seemed that she had gotten the idea that she wasn't going to get what she wanted.

Sirius had to do it before she walked away. He had to just do it.

"Lily, wait," said Sirius.

Without giving himself a second to rethink it, Sirius leaned forward and pressed his lips against Lily's. Lily seemed shocked, but she did respond. She wrapped one arm around his neck and moved even closer to him.

Sirius pulled away after a few seconds, hoping that he had done it for a sufficient amount of time.

"I'll see you later," said Sirius, trying to smile.

He ran away from her before she had a chance to respond. When he found James waiting for him at the entrance to Hogwarts, he felt better than he had all day. The date and the kiss were over. Sirius was relieved.

"Hey," said James shortly. "Come on."

While they walked back to the common room, Sirius sent glances James' way. He seemed cold…distant, even a little angry.

"Bad date?" Sirius guessed.

"It was fine," said James, crossing his arms.

"Good," said Sirius slowly.

Sirius desperately wanted to know what was causing James' attitude change, but every fiber of his being told him not to ask. For once, he obeyed his gut and didn't ask.

Seeing James after his confusing date with Lily had been a great relief, but now he was feeling just as confused as before. It was very unlike James to remain sour about something for more than thirty seconds. Sirius was happy to reach the common room.

"So," said Sirius, biting his lip. He did not know what to say. "Are we going upstairs?"

James shrugged. "You can," said James bitterly. "I'd like to stay here."

"Okay," said Sirius. He wondered if he had done something. "See you."

James didn't answer. He threw himself down on the couch and took off his shoes. Sirius walked up the stairs, watching James for as long as he could.

Sirius came to one conclusion when he sat down on his bed. He liked James. He liked James a lot.

The thought was so strange and unexpected. Sirius had no idea what triggered it, but he wanted it to go away. He groaned, putting his head into his pillow.

No. Sirius was not gay. He was also not interested in his best friend. He liked Lily. He didn't like kissing her, but Sirius thought that might improve with practice. He was NOT gay.

But would it really be a surprise? Sirius wondered. Wouldn't it explain a hell of a lot?

Sirius groaned again into his pillow, wishing his conflicting thoughts would just disappear. Why did this have to happen to him? Wasn't his life screwed up enough already?

Sirius looked up when he heard the bathroom door open.

"Enjoy your day reading?" Sirius asked, hoping to sound normal.

Remus smiled. "Yes, I did," he said. "Tell me all about your date."

Sirius sighed. Twirling a piece of hair with one finger, he tried to smile. "We had fun," he said.

Remus raised an eyebrow. "That's the information I get? Did you kiss?" he asked enthusiastically.

"You sound like a ten-year-old girl," said Sirius.

Remus glared half-heartedly. "Come on."

Sirius sat up, holding the pillow to his chest. "Yes. We kissed. It was amazing," he lied.

"Really?" said Remus, his amber eyes twinkling with happiness for his friend.

The idea of Remus being so happy for Sirius almost made him feel bad for lying. Everything he did now made him feel useless and disgusting.

"Where's James?" said Remus. "Weren't you guys going to co—"

"I think he's mad at me," Sirius interrupted.

Which really sucked. If James happened to be angry with him (for no apparent reason), then it was going to make it even more difficult to behave normally around him.

"Why would he be?" said Remus. "That's dumb."

"Well, he's mad about something," said Sirius.

Before either one of them could say another word, the door was thrown open.

"Hi!" said James.

James had a very eerie smile on his face. One of his hands was clenched into a fist, and the other was running through his hair.

"Hey," said Remus. "Look, Sirius says that you seemed mad at him downstairs. Were you?"

"Oh, no," said James, ignoring Sirius' look of horror. "I was just incredibly pissed off at my sister. Now, however, my fury is definitely directed toward him."

Sirius swallowed the lump in his throat. "Why?"

James slammed the door behind him and moved further into the room.

"Well," said James, still wearing the strange smile, "I was just laying on the couch, trying to relax…and I heard some information. Lily and Alice were discussing Lily's date in Hogsmeade.

"Oh!" said Remus. "I've been in this room reading all day. I need some air."

Sirius scowled at him, knowing that he could not possibly get away with a similar escape.

Sirius tried to keep his cool. He cleared his throat before asking, "Did she have fun?"

It was almost impossible to read James' expression.

"She did. She had a wonderful time. She even got a kiss," said James, still speaking very calmly.

"James…"

"Oh, wait," said James, laughing cruelly. "Apparently, you're an incredible kisser. Lily was just raving about it."

"James," said Sirius again.

"No, no, no," said James, putting his hand on Sirius' shoulder. "Don't be modest."

"James," said Sirius, raising his voice. "You got over her."

"It doesn't matter," said James.

"What the hell makes you think you have the right to control a girl I want to go out with?"

James looked at him incredulously. "You should want to respect my—"

"You're dating someone else!" Sirius exclaimed, unable to control himself any longer.

"Melinda? What does she have anything to do with this?"

Was James being deliberately obtuse?

"She's your current girlfriend," said Sirius, raising an eyebrow.

"We're just dating," said James. "She has nothing to do with Lily."

"Right…because I'm dating Lily."

James rolled his eyes. "You're just doing this to bother me."

Sirius was thrown by that one. What reason did James think he had to purposely bother him? He wondered what James thought would motivate him to date Lily just to piss James off? How was Sirius even supposed to know it would bother him?

"Of course," said Sirius. "That's exactly what I'm doing."

James sat down on his bed. "Look, I don't want to fight. I just… Can you just promise me you won't date Lily?"

Any sane person would have continued to argue, to ask why it mattered to him, to say he was allowed to do anything he wanted. A sane person wouldn't have stood for his best friend controlling him.

But Sirius didn't want to date Lily anyway. And…James just looked so innocent and kind-hearted and forgiving. He didn't look as though he had been arguing and telling Sirius what to do just moments earlier.

He just looked so inviting…so amazing. So perfect.

Then again, he had always been perfect. Sirius had only just found out this very day what all of the tingles and tremors and confusing emotions had been about. It made him feel sick and happy and confused and ridiculous and wonderful.

James must have realized he was staring because he furrowed his brows. "What?" he asked curiously.

"I won't go out with Lily, James," said Sirius, bowing his head slightly like an ashamed animal

James smiled. "Good."

Sirius knew he shouldn't let James control him, but at the moment…his common sense was fading. Everything was getting hazy…and oh wow.

He was gay.

It was time to stop pretending.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" said James.

Sirius moved extremely close to him, bending over slightly to be close to the height of a boy on a bed.

James was just…it. Sirius wasn't quite sure what it was, and he certainly hadn't been searching for any it…but he had found it, and he wasn't going to let it walk away.

"What?" said James.

"Can I just—can I just—God, you're amazing."

"Wh—"

James' response was cut off by Sirius' lips crashing down upon his. It ended incredibly quickly, but Sirius knew that kissing him was what kissing was supposed to feel like. He did not have that kind of chemistry with Lily, and he definitely never would.

James' eyes widened. He stared back at James with an expression of utmost disbelief. There didn't seem to be disgust in his eyes…but it was at least ten straight minutes before he said a word.

"I'm going to brush my teeth."

For some reason, Sirius was pretty sure that was not supposed to be someone's reaction to a kiss. Lily was telling people he was pretty damn good at it.

Author's Note: PLEASE review. Sorry it took so long. I've been soooo busy.