A:N/ This is chapter two of Harder than Living! This chapter will be focusing on Cloud's depression over what happened four years ago thanks to his mom's ex-boyfriend Hojo! Oh yes I Used HOJO for this specific role of the rapist and murderer.

Disclaimer: Nah, I don't own Final Fantasy VII or any of the characters mentioned in this story. I just own the plot and the OC's!

Warnings: Mentions of rape, character death and super depressed Coud!

Chapter 2: Breathing in air, breathing out ice.

ZACK'S POV

My heart felt as though it was being ripped to shreds, ever since cloud had come out and told me Hojo had done that to him, he seemed to be growing more and more depressed with each passing moment. There were times before when he would have those days that were bad, but now it was a month later and he had been like this ever since that day. A month of seeing him with his arms wrapped around his knees, and his face covered in tears. There were days when he didn't even want to get out of bed, and to be quite honest I was terrified that I was going to lose my little Chocobo to this depression.

I have done everything in my power to try and make him, well him again. But nothing ever seems to work, all he wants to do anymore is lie in bed and sleep all day, or just lay there awake, seeming how he can't sleep without waking up screaming from the nightmares that he has when he just closes his eyes. I have done everything I can do so I decided to get professional help; I decided to get him into a therapist. I have the right to do so now, since I'm his husband.

-The Next Day-

"Cloud, you have to get up, you have a very important doctor's appointment today love." I said loudly, I had been trying to get him up for the last hour and nothing seemed to be working at all, he didn't respond to anything I had tried so far, so I was down to my last resort, I took and put a single piece of ice in a cup and filled it with water and waited for the ice to melt before taking it into the room and dumping it on him. His reaction was priceless; he jumped nearly ten feet and hopped off the bed slumping to the floor and giving me a death glare before stripping down to nothing.

His body had changed so much in the last month, it was a lot paler and he was thinner from barely eating anymore. This was why I had begun to get so worried about him, not to mention the fact that I had to hide all the sharp objects from him, I noticed deep cuts on his wrists and had a breakdown of my own. That was when I had decided to call the therapist. I realized that this was too much for me to handle on my own.

Hopefully this will work, for his sake, and for mine.

Cloud's POV

I don't know why I am so depressed all of the sudden, it just happened and it was hurting me and Zack. Zack was going crazy trying to get me out of this slump, but all I can do is sit there and stare, no matter how hard I try I can't get myself to be healthy again. I remember this is how it was in Midgar for me up until Zack came, the two weeks that I was away from him I didn't even want to leave the room. But when he came it was like a weight that was the same as the world was lifted from me.

-At the counselor-

I stood in front of the building that Zack had brought me to. All I could think was "Zack must really feel hopeless right now." It was a dreary little rundown brick building that needed some remodeling done on the outside. The bricks were chipping in random places and some of had even completely fallen out. I sighed stepping into the building and sighed at the cheesy décor. It was so cliché I almost laughed. The whole waiting room was a bright white, with green curtains at the windows, and chairs lined against the walls with side tables with old magazines and children's books.

At that moment something inside me told me to run the opposite way. But for Zack's sake, and my own I planted my resolve and took another step forward. How bad had these past two months been exactly? I looked at the now healing cuts on my wrist at my fetal attempts of suicide, and my way of taking out some of the anger. Apparently it had been pretty bad. I cringed at the thought of Zack hurting because of me, my husband. I felt guilty for doing this to him, but except for him I had nothing left to hold onto. My life had been stolen from me, along with the light that was always there. The only glimmer of any light that I had ever had was when I looked at Zack, and even that light was starting to die out. Not that I had lost any feelings for Zack, I just felt as though all of my silver linings were fading.

Four years earlier…

My life is nothing… I thought gloomy to myself. This is basically what he told me. He told me I was nothing, that I was his bitch. I had given up on all hope at that point. That day when Zack had shown up, I thought that it was him. I could feel that it was another bad day for him, and when I heard the pounding on the door I got a twisting in my stomach and took my time getting to the door.

"Yeah, Yeah I'm coming." I mumbled mostly to myself. I got to the door and built the courage before finally opening the door. When I saw it was Zack, my whole world lifted. My depression had disappeared so fast. I was happy again, and that was when I had finally started researching the emancipation process.

I stepped into the office where a desk and a chair stood. And awaiting me behind the desk was a red headed man with fierce green eyes. He smiled almost cockily and gestured to the empty chair opposite of the desk. I sighed and slowly made my way to the chair ever so slowly.

"Hello my name is Reno Mira. I will be your counselor for the next few months."

A/N: HAHA! And here is Chapter 2! I am so happy that everyone waited ever so patiently for this chapter, there has been a lot going on in the writing of my stories. BUT I will be trying to update much more often on this. This was a PAIN IN THE ASS writing. I wanted to cry throughout it so…. No flames please? Constructive criticism is welcome. =1