Disclaimer: MGM owns SGA; KOI does NOT.

Spoilers: Trio, Shrine, The Lost Tribe, Brain Storm

Incredibly Patient Beta: DaniWilder

Stargate: Atlantis

Second Choices

by koinekid

Chapter 3

Unable to pry their destination from her tight-lipped escort, Jennifer fell silent. They must be headed somewhere within the Tower since they'd bypassed the transporter in favor of the stairs. Beyond that, she could only speculate.

Lost in thought, she nearly collided with Sam, who had slowed to a halt in front of a door Jennifer instantly recognized. She blinked in surprise. "The Jumper Bay?"

Sam grinned. "Your prince awaits."

As if his name on her lips could ward off the dread creeping up her spine, Jennifer whispered, "Rodney."

"None other." Sam reached for the door sensor.

Dread spiked to panic, and Jennifer caught the colonel's hand. "Stop. I can't."

"Give me one good reason why not." Sam calmly extracted her hand and held it just outside the sensor's range. "I'm waiting."

Jennifer chewed her lip. Maybe it was the stress of the evening finally catching up, but she felt a sudden, profound weariness descend upon her. Staggering beneath its weight, she closed her eyes and massaged her temples.

Cloth rustled. Convinced Sam was making a move for the sensor, Jennifer blurted. "Schrödinger's cat!"

She opened her eyes. Sam hadn't moved. At her confused look, Jennifer clarified, "It's a physics experiment."

Sam responded with an indignant snort. "I'm familiar with it. How does it apply here?"

"Right, sorry. Of course you are. You're a physicist." Jennifer turned away to hide her blush. "Depending on whether the poison has been released, the cat in the experiment is either alive or dead, yes?"

"From the observer's standpoint."

"But she can't know which unless she opens the box." Jennifer flattened her palm against the door. The cold metal made her shiver. "Behind this door is a man who will either forgive me or break up with me."

"And you can't know which until you go inside." Sam nodded slowly. "Then why don't you?"

"Because once I do there's no going back. If Rodney wants to break up, then right here, right now is the last time we'll be a couple." Tears glistened in her eyes. "I'm not ready to give him up, Sam. If this is the end, I want to hold on just a little longer."

Sam drew the young woman into a gentle hug, a gesture as welcome as it was unexpected. "You're getting yourself worked up over nothing," she said.

Nothing? "I need him," Jennifer whispered as the tears slid down her face. "I can't live without him." She knew how pathetic the declaration made her sound, but she meant every word. Even though she'd felt that way about men before—loved and lost and moved on—Rodney was different. In the abstract she knew if he rejected her she would survive, go on to love again a little more jaded and a lot less intensely. But she also knew she didn't want to, that she'd never meet a man like Rodney McKay again.

Scenes from their relationship played out like a movie in her head:

Their first drink. A disaster by any traditional reckoning as she couldn't seem to steer the conversation away from work or their exes—a topic she stupidly brought up. In their previous dealings she'd seen a glimmer of the man beneath the bluster, but her best tricks failed to draw him out that night. Still strangely charmed by his grumpy exterior, she'd actually looked forward to the good-night kiss and was a little insulted when he dropped her off without making a move.

The first time he spoke his feelings. A shock to say the least. Though their quasi-date secured a friendship she came to treasure, Jennifer assumed Rodney's lack of follow-up meant he wasn't interested in romance. Instead, he'd been quietly falling in love with her and told her so when he was stricken with a life-threatening illness. But she hadn't time to consider how she felt while searching for a cure.

The days following his recovery from the emergency brain surgery that saved his life Jennifer spent in a low level panic. She jumped at every knock on her office door and expected to see Rodney around every corner impatiently awaiting an answer she couldn't yet supply.

When he finally caught up with her, it was to invite her to a lunch during which he complained about how badly his subordinates had screwed up the science department in his absence. His behavior soon convinced Jennifer that Rodney remembered nothing of his confession. A greater blessing she couldn't have asked for, because it allowed her to evaluate her feelings without obsessing over his.

The day she rejected her other suitor. A personal affirmation of her intentions. As a little girl she'd fantasized about a handsome prince sweeping her off her feet and carrying her to his castle. Ronon Dex wasn't far off the mark. True, the little girl would have balked at his dreadlocks and goatee. But the woman could make allowances for so handsome and noble a prince.

Lord knows Rodney would never be the man the little girl dreamed about. In glittering armor upon a white steed, he'd look silly—and that was being generous. His strength and goodness lay within, buried so deeply that the naive little girl would have missed them. The woman was far wiser.

Their first date. Another disaster and one that nearly ended her life. Yet if she could change but one aspect of that day, it wouldn't be the danger. It would be the way she treated Rodney.

Assuming his request for her to act as his arm candy was a pretense to ask her out, she'd cheerily agreed. When Rodney spent more time showing her off than showing her a good time, she was hurt and irritated and snapped at him more harshly than she should have.

Regret consumed her as she lay dying, and she vowed never to treat him that way again if she survived. The vow hadn't lasted. Rodney was simply too fun to tease, and his relief and joy as he rescued her from the brink of death told her that he forgave her, that he would always forgive her.

The truth hit her like a slap in the face. Rodney had risked his life and the lives of everyone at the conference to save her. Such a man would never place more value on a ring than on the woman he planned to give it to.

The wonder in his eyes had ripped the confession from her lips long before she planned to say it. Echoing his own words, "I've loved you for some time," she added her own nonchalant spin: "Just wanted you to know." And the kiss he so long ago denied her, she took. And many more besides.

On the flight back to Colorado Springs, Rodney slipped back into his whiny persona. Jennifer was still annoyed and even chided him a little. But she forced herself to exercise patience. Rodney simply needed time to learn the proper reaction to a quality woman offering her heart.

Like a slowly kindling fire, Rodney's love had grown until it overwhelmed her. The first time she saw Rodney, romance was the furthest thing from her mind. Now, the specter of a life without him was devastating. Her anger mere hours before when she was ready to cast him aside for a perceived slight was so foreign that it was like a different person had felt those emotions.

With a clarity that escaped her before, she knew that, despite his quirks and eccentricities, he was the man for her. Anyone who came after would be—at most—second best.

"Are you ready?" Sam asked.

Ending the embrace, Jennifer put on a shaky smile. "I guess my guy isn't well known for his patience, is he?"

"No, he certainly isn't."

A deep breath to gather her courage, and Jennifer stepped up to the door. She swiped her hand across the sensor and waited the eternal second for metal to retract and the Jumper Bay to come into view. What she saw when it did made her gasp.

Behind her came a low whistle, and Sam squeezed her shoulder. "Wow. I don't know about Schrödinger's cat, but Jennifer's looks plenty alive to me."

To be continued.

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