Hey everyone, I'm back. I hope everyone had a great Christmas and New Years! And thank you to everyone who reviewed my last chapter. I was really pleased with how many reviews I got! So thank you very much to the people that took the time to do so. I want to thank Dr.Gizzie, ga-4-ever, Mcalison, Kristen, gizziefan118, mistysparks, LizzieLovesLife, and ioi123. I really really appreciate you guys for reviewing my story! I loved all of your reviews! And I'm sorry about the wait, but I just really needed that break. And this chapter is extra long, so maybe people wont be so mad at me for taking the break. Well I hope everyone likes it, and please read and review :-)

Kat

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Chapter 13

Izzie stared at Addison with a complete blank look on her face. What was she trying to tell her? She had heard what she said, but she hadn't quite understood it.

"I'm unresponsive." She repeated more to herself than to Addison.

Addison sighed and looked at Izzie sadly.

"Yes. The tests show that you were unresponsive to the chemotherapy." She paused and grabbed Izzie's hand. "I'm so sorry Izzie." She said sincerely.

Izzie looked up at her with tears in her eyes. She stared at her for a moment before suddenly jerking her hand away.

Addison looked startled as Izzie stood up and headed toward the door. Before she opened it she turned back around to face Addison.

"So this-" she paused, trying to calm herself. "This treatment was all for nothing."

Addison sighed sadly. "Izzie I'm so-" she began.

"No" Izzie said. "Don't say it." she paused as she paced in front of her. "I went through all of it. I did the damn chemo. I went through the 3 to 4 hours of being hooked up to that damn thing. I stopped being hungry. I am constantly tired. I never have energy to do anything." She paused again, looking at Addison. "I lost my freaking hair!" she yelled.

She turned her head and wiped the tears away.

"And it was all for nothing. Nothing." She whispered.

Addison stood up and grabbed Izzie's shoulders.

"Listen Izzie, you knew from day one that this treatment wouldn't cure you. You knew that the best possible scenario was that it would make your life a little longer. And you also knew that there was a big chance that it wouldn't work at all."

"No." Izzie said, trying to get away from Addison. "If I knew that, there's no way I'd put myself through that hell."

Addison shook her head.

"You did. You did know that. You're a doctor Izzie. You know all about cancer and treatments. You know that in stage IV cervical cancer, there is a huge possibility that the patient may be unresponsive to treatment. So don't pretend like you didn't know. You knew."

Addison paused as she fought back her own tears. "But I still believe that you made the right choice. I still think it's always better to put up a fight. Because if you never tried treatment, I think you'd regret it. And you'd always wonder what would have happened if you at least tried."

Izzie looked down feeling ashamed. She knew that she shouldn't have flipped out at Addison, but she needed to take it out on someone. She needed to vent somehow. She had so many emotions running through her, that she didn't know what to do with them.

She looked back up at her and gave a fake smile.

"Thank you." She said quietly.

Addison smiled slightly and hugged her.

"You're welcome."

Izzie pulled out of the hug and hurried out of the room. She had to get away from the hospital as soon as possible.

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George was standing by the nurse's station when he saw Meredith.

"Hey" he said when she approached him.

"Hi" she said back and smiled. "You here with Izzie?" she asked, seeing that he wasn't in scrubs.

"Yeah" he said sighing.

"How is she?" she asked.

"Fine I guess. You should know. You do live with her."

Meredith sighed and leaned against the counter.

"I know. But she won't talk to me anymore. It seems like the only person she'll talk to now is you."

George looked at Meredith sadly.

"I'm sure she'd talk to you. It's just with her always sleeping, and you always at work, it's probably just hard to find time." he said, trying to find an excuse for her.

"Right" she said, rolling her eyes.

George sighed. "Well she should have time to talk to you tonight. She didn't have treatment so she won't be as tired."

Meredith furrowed her eye brows.

"I thought you said you were here with her." she said, looking confused.

"I am. But she had to come in to have some tests done to see how much progress there is." He explained.

"Ah" she said.

George looked at his watch and sighed.

"I sure wish I knew what was taking so long. She's been gone for hours, and she refused to let me go in with her."

Meredith sighed and looked at him.

"I'm sure she'll be out soon and everything will be fine." She said reassuringly.

"I hope so" he said, looking in the other direction.

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Izzie walked out of the hospital unnoticed. She had grabbed her stuff and hurried out. She knew George would yell at her for leaving with out him, but right now what she needed was to be alone. And if he took her home he would know something was up, and therefore not leave her alone.

She grabbed a taxi and got in, telling him to take her home.

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Addison was walking down the hallway when she ran into someone. Her files slipped out of her hands and flew all over the floor.

"God, can't people watch where the hell they're going?" she yelled, bending down to pick up her files.

"Sorry" A familiar voice said, bending down to help her.

She looked up to see Alex looking at her.

"Oh it's you." She said, sounding more rude than she meant.

"Well it's nice to see you too." he said smirking.

She sighed and ignored him, picking up her stuff. She stood up as Alex handed her the rest of her things.

"Thanks" she said, turning to walk away.

"Hey" he said, stopping her. "What's wrong with you?" he asked, looking at her.

"Nothing" she lied.

Alex looked into her eyes, trying to figure it out.

"It's Izzie isn't it?" he asked, already knowing the answer.

She sighed and looked around quickly, before ushering him into the on-call room. She set her filed on a chair and sat on the bed, sighing.

She felt him sit down next to her and put a hand on her shoulder.

"What's going on?" he asked.

She looked at him and tried to hide her emotions.

"I ran a CT on her today to see how much progress she had made." She said quietly. "And it showed the she was unresponsive." She finished.

Alex felt his eyes sting as he listened to her. He was close to Izzie. He cared about her. And the way this seemed to be affecting Addison also hurt. He started to have deep feelings for this girl. He didn't know where the hell they came from, but they were there. Everything he was feeling was all jumbled together and it confused him.

He reached out and pushed her hair out of her face.

"Does she know?" he asked.

She nodded her head slightly.

"I just told her." she said as a tear slid down her cheek.

Alex wiped the tear away with his thumb and made her look at him.

"This isn't your fault." He said, looking into her eyes.

"I encouraged her to go ahead with the treatment. I asked Bailey to talk her into it." she said.

"You did what you thought was best." He said.

"No I didn't." she said, more tears falling from her eyes. "I knew. Deep down I knew the treatment wouldn't work. She was in the last stage, but I still put her through that. She suffered so much, and its all my fault."

Alex pulled her into a hug and rubbed her back.

"No it isn't." he said firmly. "And you have to stop thinking like that. You would have never put her though that if you didn't think there was the slightest chance it could work. You are a caring and loving person, and you would never purposely hurt someone." He said, trying to console her.

She pulled away and looked into his eyes. She stared at him for a moment before pulling his face to hers.

He responded to her immediately and placed a hand on the back of her head. His kiss wasn't hungry like the previous one, but soft, and searching. He carefully laid her back onto the bed and kissed her passionately.

She kissed him back, letting all her emotions out in the process.

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Izzie walked into the house and locked the door behind her. She sighed as she walked into the kitchen. She opened the fridge, looking for something to eat. As usual, nothing sounded good, so she shut the door and walked over to the cupboard. She was about to close that too when something caught her eye.

She reached out for the bottle but paused. She knew that drinking probably would make her feel any better. It would most likely make her feel worse. But did she really care? She was in so much pain anymore that she just didn't seem to care. And now that she had gone through all the pain for nothing, just made it even worse.

So she grabbed the bottle of vodka and twisted the cap off. She took a long gulp of it and smacked her lips together. It definitely burned going down, but somehow she already felt slightly better.

She was about to grab a glass, when she spotted a bottle of pills sitting on the counter. She picked it up to see whose it was. They were Meredith's sleeping pills.

Izzie stood there, staring at the bottle of pills that she held in her hands. She looked at them, wondering if it would be alright to take some. What could it hurt? She was having trouble sleeping at night. It's not like Meredith would really mind. She would understand if Izzie took some.

Izzie opened the bottle and poured a few into her hand. She paused looking at them for a minute, before pouring more into her hand. Meredith wouldn't mind right? After all, she probably needed them right now more than Meredith did anyway.

She popped the pills into her mouth and took a swig of the vodka. She sighed and went to go sit at the table to finish her drink.

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Alex and Addison walked out of the on-call room and were about to go their separate ways when George came up to them.

"Dr. Montgomery!" he called out.

She turned around and looked at him.

"O'Malley what are you doing here?" she asked, wondering why he wasn't at home with Izzie.

"What do you mean? I've been waiting for Izzie. She had her appointment today right?" he asked.

"Well yeah" she said, starting to get concerned. "But she left my office a long time ago."

George looked at her as he got an uneasy feeling in the pit of his stomach.

"She never came to find you?" Alex said.

George shook his head. "No. I waited where I said I would the whole time. I just now came to find her."

Addison gave Alex a knowing look.

"What?" George said, looking from one to the other.

Addison sighed and looked at George sadly.

"She was unresponsive to the treatment. And when I told her, she didn't handle it very well." She said.

"Do you think she could have gone home?" he asked worriedly.

Addison sighed. "It's a good possibility." She said.

George suddenly felt panicked.

"Okay Alex, you look around her. I'm going to go home and see if she's there." he said.

"Okay" Alex said as George turned around and ran in the other direction.

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George pulled into the driveway and ran up the front steps. He tried the knob and found it locked. He took this as a good sign, figuring if she were here, the door would be unlocked. He unlocked the door and stepped in.

"Izzie" he called out as he shut the door. "Are you here?" he asked, to what he thought was an empty house.

He looked in the living room and didn't see her.

"Izzie" he said as he ran up the stairs.

He knocked softly on her door before walking in. He sighed, seeing she wasn't in there either.

He went back down the stairs, wondering where the hell she could be. He was about to leave when he saw something out of the corner of his eye.

He turned his head and saw Izzie lying on the floor.

"Izzie!" he said, running over to her.

He looked up and saw the almost empty bottle of alcohol on the table.

"Izzie" he yelled, rolling her over onto her back. She was unconscious.

"Izzie" he whispered, grabbing a hold of her hand. And that's when he noticed the empty pill bottle she had, clutched in her hand.