Chapter Fourteen
Days passed and I still hadn't spoken to Julia, Elliot, or Vaughn. The easiest silence was Vaughn, only because I didn't talk to him a lot anyway. He just seemed so cold to me, and so mean. I didn't want to associate with someone who was that much of a downer. Julia was the hardest. She kept walking past my house, daring me to come out and talk to her. She stayed out there for a whole night once, just outside my door. It was torture. The only upside was that my nose was getting better. It still hurt every once in a while, but I managed quite well.
I've come to dread Mondays and Tuesdays. They quickly became the bane of my existence. Vaughn didn't make things any easier, he taunted me with dark looks and glares shot my way. The only good thing left in my life was Denny. He was always there for me when I needed to talk or when I needed a shoulder to cry on. He was my rock, but I knew my feelings for him were not matched on the same level. I kept fearing that Denny was falling in a one sided love with me.
I headed down to the beach, my eyes pealed for offending people, when Vaughn suddenly appeared. He blocked my path and I unintentionally gasped and flinched back. A look entered his eyes, but it soon disappeared. He looked pissed, but also calm at the same time.
"We need to talk." he said quietly and I shook my head.
"I'm not talking to you." I responded, my voice tight and harsh.
He sighed and grasped me by the elbow. I gasped and stumbled after him, trying to break free. It was no use. He was bigger and much more stronger then me. I had no chance. I followed him into the forest and we stopped just shy of the Goddess Pond. He released my arm and went to sit by the water. I looked at him for a moment and he just looked back at me, unsaid pleading in his amethyst eyes. He looked at the ground then back up at me and I sighed before collapsing beside him.
"What do you want?" I whispered, my voice cracking with fear. I hate to admit it, but since he punched me I was afraid of him.
"I want to apologize."
I snapped my head over to look at him. Had he really just said that? This was the guy who basically said I could go die days before. What brought on a sudden change of heart? I looked into his eyes, searching to see if he was lying or not. He seemed genuine enough, but I still didn't think I could trust him. His eyes, usually void of emotion, were now openly pleading.
"Look, I know I'm an ass. I know I'm not the friendliest person who ever lived. Just give me a chance to explain myself." he stated, his voice pleading.
I sighed, "You have five minutes." I said flatly, and he grinned over at me and tipped his hat.
"Well... It all started the day I turned five..." he started and we were sucked into the past.
**/** (Vaughn's P.O.V.)
"Vaughn, honey, come downstairs for a second." my mother called up the stairs and I sighed, wishing she would go away.
I fling my feet over the side of the bed and stand up slowly. Making my way to the door, I almost trip over my little brother's shit. Why did he need so much damn stuff? I mean, who needs a rainbow colored miniature dinosaur? I growled to myself and launched down the stairs, taking them two at a time. I rounded the corner and stopped short when I saw a man standing there with my mom.
"Who is this?" I demanded, my eyes shifting back and forth between the man and my mother.
My mom smiled at me, "This is Robert. He is going to be your new stepfather." she explained and I reeled back with shock.
"Stepfather? What the hell?" I spit out, my strange eyes widening with shock.
"Vaughn, honey, no need to curse. It's going to be okay." she soother, but I was too pissed to care.
"You're such a whore, Mom. I mean, it hasn't even been a month since my dad even fucking died!" I shouted, anger and frustration over riding common sense.
A hurt look bloomed on her face, "Vaughn..."
"Don't fucking talk to me. Don't ever talk to me again, you tramp." I shook my head before running back upstairs and slamming the bedroom door shut.
Austin lifted his head and looked at me from his perch on my bed. Damn twerp was always getting into my things. He could pass as my twin, except for the fact that we were three years apart. He had the same build as me, same hair color, and same strange amethyst eyes that always seemed to light up when he saw me. Damn kid didn't have any common sense. Why the hell would anyone want to idolize me?
I pulled out a bag from my closet and slung it to the bed, "What are you doing?" Austin asked, his head cocked to the side with curiosity.
I avoided his gaze, "I'm going somewhere." I said shortly and he perked up.
"Where are we going?" he asked eagerly and I tried to think fast.
"I said I'm going somewhere." I shoved some clothes into the bag then went to the bathroom.
"Are you taking me with you?" he followed, leaning against the siding of the door.
"No, you're not." I replied through my teeth, annoyed at his persistence.
He looked at me in the mirror, "Why not?"
I took a deep breath and did what came natural. Lie through my teeth. "I don't want you to come with me."
I waited for the screaming or crying or something, but nothing happened. I turned to look at him, and saw a strange blank expression on his handsome face. I couldn't place it at the moment, but it looked like some kind of torture victim's expression. Maybe the face a deaf person would wear when they couldn't understand you and you didn't realize they can't hear you. I don't know how to explain it, but it was eerie as hell.
"Look, I'll come see you once in a while. Okay?" I asked and he shook his head yes.
"Bye little bro. Stay awesome." I said, it was our normal routine, but this time it was different.
"Bye." he whispered before disappearing back into the room.
I didn't dwell on the fact that he hadn't said the right thing. I ducked out the two story window, taking a deep breath before jumping. I landed on the balls of my feet. I was free. Finally. A week later, I was at a friends house when the phone rang. Someone laughed and answered it, not even bothering to turn down the blasting music. Some chick kissed my neck, and I tried to remember her name. Julie? No... Samantha? Maybe. A hand reached out to me, phone extended and I took it.
I pushed the girl away from me, "Hello?" I murmured into the receiver and I was met with a shrill voice.
"You're brother tried to kill himself tonight! We found him laying in the floor of his room with a bottle of pills beside him! He's in the hospital and he's asking for you. Damn you, Vaughn! This is all your fucking fault!" my mother screamed and my blood ran cold.
"Austin's in the hospital?" I repeated slowly, my mind not wrapping itself around this concept.
"Yes! You are a fuck up, Vaughn! If I ever-" I didn't care what she was saying, I needed to get to the hospital.
I ran outside, startling a couple of girls and a few guys, "Where's Chad?" I yelled and someone pointed in the direction of the garage.
I sprinted that way and rushed inside. Chad had his pants around his ankles and some chick was topless and giving him very, um, enthusiastic oral sex. I didn't let it phase me.
"Vaughn! How about you join us? Helen has a friend who wants in your pants." Chad motioned to a chair beside him and a girl appeared as he moaned.
"I need your car." I said hurridly and Chad just looked at me.
"Now, damn it!" I screamed and Chad scoffed.
"Dude, chill. Here." he threw the keys at me and I caught them one handed.
I turned on my heel and ran to his car. I put the key in the ignition and turned. It cranked, but it didn't turn on. "C'mon. C'mon." I muttered and twisted the key one more time. It just whined uselessly.
"Damn it!" I screamed and flung the door open, not bothering to close it in my mad dash to the hospital.
I ran and ran, not stopping to catch my breath. My lungs felt like they were dying, but I wasn't stopping for anything. It started to pour down rain, but I didn't let it slow me down. I slid down a hill and came crashing down. I cut my knee up pretty bad, but I just got up and ran through the pain. I came barreling into the emergency room, dripping rain and barely able to breath. I ran up to the reception counter and the nurse looked at me in shock.
"Is there... a... Austin... Carter?" I wheezed and she typed the name into her computer quickly.
"Yes, but I'm afraid it's family only. Mr. Carter is in bad shape." the nurse explained, and took a deep breath.
"I'm his... brother." I coughed out and the nurse shot me a look.
"Fine. Go on back." she pushed the button and the metal doors slid open.
I sprinted through them and turned a corner. I looked in each room before stumbling upon my mother and stepfather.
She came up and slapped me across the face, "You son of a bitch." she sneered and I pushed her away from me, turning and opening the curtain in front of them.
There was Austin. He looked so frail and pale, like a sick ghost. I sat down in a chair next to his bed and took his hand in mine.
"Hey there, little bro." I greeted, tears welling in my amethyst eyes.
He gasped, "Hey. So I guess this isn't what you wanted."
"Why would I want this? I love you." I said softly, a tear running down my cheek.
He smiled weakly, "I can't live with them anymore. They're awful. I miss being with you." he explained and I nodded.
"I miss you, too. Maybe after this, you can come stay with me." I suggested and Austin shook his head.
"This is it for me man. I see the light." he whispered and my heart jumped painfully in my chest.
"No, this isn't it. Stay with me." I demanded and he shook his head.
"I love you man. Stay awesome." he whispered to me before shutting his eyes and going limp.
The machine beside his bead beeped one last time before staying constant, "No! You can't leave me. Say something, Austin!" I shook his small shoulders, but he didn't wake up.
I released his shoulders and collapsed back into the seat. For the first time since my dad died, I buried my face in my hands and sobbed.
**/**(Chelsea's P.O.V.)
"Oh, Vaughn..." I trailed off, tears streaming down my face.
"I can't be happy anymore. I feel like if I'm happy, I'm betraying my brother." he explained, his face ashen and his back straight.
"He would have wanted you to be happy." I tried to sooth, but he wasn't having it.
"How could I be happy when it's my fault?" he asked, mainly to himself, and I gasped as I grasped his words.
"You blame yourself for his death." I stated and he nodded.
"If I hadn't left him alone, he would still be alive." he shook his head, a tear glistening on his cheek.
I put a hang on his arm softly, "Vaughn, you didn't make the choice for him to take the pills. You didn't force it on him. He made the choice."
"I just feel like I let him down. I wasn't there for him when he needed me." he whispered, another tear falling from his amethyst eyes.
"He wanted you to be there. You were the last person he saw before he died. He was waiting to say good-bye to you. Maybe in a way, he was saying more then good-bye. What if he were giving you permission to go on with your life?" I reasoned and he shook his head.
"It doesn't matter. I miss him. More and more each day." he whispered and I watched another tear fall down his face.
"I know, Vaughn. I know that better then you think." I whispered back and enveloped him in my arms.
I thought he would push me away, but he put his arms around me and squeezed. I buried my face in his neck and rubbed a hand along his back. Maybe I misjudged him. Maybe this cowboy wasn't that bad after all.