Hey everyone. Thanks to those who read and reviewed. Special thanks to those who took the time to review: gizziefan118, mimimarie, mistysparks, Mcalison, and Grey'sAnatomyBestTVshow. I really loved all your reviews, and hope you keep them coming. And I would love for some more reviews too! Well anyway here is chaoter 19. hope you all like it, and please read and review!
Kat
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Chapter 19
Izzie was sitting in her hospital room, staring at the food in front of her. It all looked so disgusting. Hospital food was never the best food in the world, but nothing looked good at all. She just no longer had any appetite at all. She was picking at her jello when Meredith walked in.
"Hey there," Meredith said as she shut the door behind her.
"Hey," Izzie said, pushing the food aside.
"Not hungry?" Meredith asked, sitting down in the chair next to her.
Izzie shook her head and looked down at the tray.
Meredith sighed and looked at Izzie.
"They said you can go home today," she said, trying to get Izzie to smile.
"Yeah, I know," Izzie said, not really caring as much.
"Aren't you excited to get out of this place?" she asked, surprised that Izzie wasn't happier about it.
"I guess," she said looking down at her hands.
"Izz," Meredith said, standing up and sitting on the edge of Izzie's bed.
"I mean whats the use? I'm only going to be able to enjoy it for what, 3 months?" she said, looking at Meredith with tears in her eyes.
Meredith pulled Izzie into a hug and patted her back.
"Izz, you shouldn't talk like that," Meredith said, wishing more than anything that she could make Izzie better.
"I know, but I can't just sit here and have false hope," Izzie said into Meredith's shoulder. "I can't pretend that I'm not dying," she said as tears streamed down her face.
Meredith hugged her tighter as a tear slipped out of her eye. She wanted to yell at Izzie and tell her to stop talking like this, but she couldn't. This was how Izzie dealt with things. If Izzie wanted to just face it like this, then who was Meredith to tell her otherwise?
Meredith pulled out of the hug and looked at Izzie.
"Well George is taking you home in about an hour, so you better get ready," she said standing up.
Izzie looked at Meredith and sighed. She knew it was hard for Meredith to be here and have to deal with this. Meredith liked to run away and pretend nothing was wrong. Not that that was wrong, but it wasn't how Izzie was. So Izzie decided she could try and put her feelings aside for now so it wasn't as hard on Meredith.
"Mer," Izzie said looking at her.
"Should I wear the blonde or brunette?" she asked, holding up two wigs.
Meredith laughed slightly then pointed to the blonde one.
"Stick with blonde Izz," she said before walking out.
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Derek saw Meredith come out of Izzie's room. He thought about just leaving her alone, but when he saw her run into the linen closet, he couldn't just let her be. He walked over to the closet and slowly opened the door. He looked in and saw her sitting on the floor with her head in her hands. His heart broke for her in that very instant.
He shut the door and sat on the floor next to her. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into his chest.
She sobbed uncontrollably in his arms. Her body shook from the sobs, but she didn't care. She didn't care that she was being completely vulnerable right now, or that Derek was holding her while she cried. All she knew was that it felt good to get it out.
Derek kissed her head and held her tightly.
"It'll be okay," he whispered, rubbing her arms softly, hoping to soothe her.
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Izzie walked in the door, with George behind her, carrying her bags. She sighed deeply as she sat down on the couch. She had indeed missed this place. She hadn't realized it, but she felt much happier here.
She looked over at George who just sat down next to her. She stared at him for a moment before smiling.
"What?" he said, thinking her actions were slightly strange.
"Nothing," she said, continuing to look at him. "I just," she paused, lifting a hand up to touch his hair, "I just love you, that's all," she said.
George's eyes stung and he wrapped his arms around her and held onto her, afraid that if he let go he could never touch her again.
Izzie felt a tear slip down her cheek. She felt selfish. How could she sit here and let George hurt, when she could have prevented it so long ago.
She too held on tightly. She loved him so much and was so happy that he was here for her, but at the same time she wanted so badly for him to forget about her. She wanted him to not have to hurt. She wanted him to be happy with someone who he could spend a lifetime with. With her, that was never going to happen for him.
She pulled away from him and looked at him seriously.
"George, promise me something," she said.
"Anything," he said, wondering what she was thinking.
"Promise me, that you will find someone else someday," she said, holding back the tears.
"What?" he said surprised.
"Promise me, you'll find someone, and have children. I always thought you'd make a great father," she said as she smiled.
"Izzie,"
"Promise me George, that you'll find some who'll truly make you happy," she said, wanting him to just promise her.
He looked at her for a moment and shook his head.
"I already have," he said in all seriousness.
Izzie smiled as tears fell down her face and she hugged him tightly.
"George," she said, hanging onto him.
"Ssh Izzie, don't say anything."
Izzie pulled away again and looked at him.
"Why do you love me so much?" she asked.
George sighed and looked at her.
"Because you're you," he said simply. "I wouldn't want anyone else, and I wouldn't want you any other way. You're perfect."
Izzie leaned in and kissed his lips softly.
"I love you George, but I'm scared," she said.
"Of dying?" he asked.
She shook her head.
"No. I'm scared of not being with you."
George kissed her and held her tightly.
"That'll never happen," he whispered as he rocked her softly in his arms.
